
Relationship Advice From The Internet
TRANSCRIPT
Welcome back to another installment of advice from the internet, where I find advice that people are giving online and give you my opinion of those pieces of advice. This is, I believe, the fourth installment of advice from the internet. The first one I did was dating advice from the internet, and then I did life advice from the internet.
I did career advice from the internet. I or maybe I didn't do that one yet, but that's coming soon if I haven't done that yet. And today we are doing relationship advice from the internet. Because so many of us turn to the internet for advice. So I've found seven to ten pieces of advice that people have shared and have gone viral on TikTok and Instagram and YouTube and tried to find the ones that people are saving the most and liking the most.
And compiled them to share what I think about them. Because I think there's a lot of great things people are saying. I just think it becomes so hard to find what is actually good advice when there is so much of it. Like there is constantly so many people saying so many things, and it's kind of hard to parse out like what actually is good.
and I think everything I've found today I think is pretty good. we'll see. We'll see what I think when I go back through it again. but I I I find that too. Like I we we hear so much and we see so much that it's hard to remember a lot of it and it's hard to actually think about what had the most impact on us or actually like resonated with us. And we see one thing and we're like, huh, that was pretty great. And then we scroll and we see something else and see something else and see something else, and it's just like,
We forget how good that thing might have been. So, my kind of intention or goal today is to find some really great pieces of advice and then share what I think about them, maybe expand on them, maybe leave them as is, or like amplify them. and hopefully you will leave this episode with one or two pieces of relationship advice that you can carry on with you today and this week and forever. That would be amazing. And overall, like you can use.
These as much as you want to or as little as you want to, these might apply to you right now, or these might apply to you in the very near future, or way f in the future. but I think for the most part, you can probably find something in here that works for your situation or what you want in life. Ultimately, I think everybody wants a relationship. Ultimately, I think everybody wants to be in love and to find a girlfriend or a boyfriend or whoever. And
Find that person that they can live with forever. Like I think that is always everybody's goal. I think there's nothing better than that. I think there's nothing better than falling in love and being in love and finding the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. I think like as romantic and like as fairy taly as that sounds, I think there is something in everybody that really does believe that is out there for them and does want that.
I think I've done a lot of episodes on dating and starting dating and first dates and like that that early stages of dating. I don't think I've done a lot about talking about relationships. and that's been a piece of feedback that I've gotten recently, which I think is amazing, and I accept all real feedback as long as it's not too critical. no, of course, criticism is allowed as well. But I think that this is like a great way to
Not only give my own relationship advice, but find what people are turning to and use that as a way to start talking more about relationship advice and giving my own too. So let's get into it. These are the relationship advice pieces, the pieces of relationship advice that I have found on the internet that I want to share with you. The first one is how you know you're in a healthy relationship is when you miss that person all the time.
I think this is a great one because it can relate to any stage of relationship. I think some of these I have on here are more relating to when you're further into a relationship or deeper into a relationship. You've spent a lot of time with somebody or you've been in a relationship for months or even years or years and decades even. but I think this one is a pretty universal piece of relationship advice. How you know you're in a healthy relationship is when you miss that person all the time.
I think maybe not all of the time, if we're not being like super dramatic, but if you really miss somebody, I think that's also a piece of advice I give to anybody that's starting out dating. I said that I wasn't gonna wasn't gonna do that about starting out dating, but like this does actually also apply to that too. That is how you know you like someone. When you think about your life without them, when you think about your day without them, when you've spent a few days without them.
You know how much it impacts you. You know how much your life is different without them. But I think that relates to any stage of dating, whether it's your second date, whether it's your second year. I think you know how much you like somebody by how much you miss somebody. And I I think this is a great piece of advice. I think if you're
Not sure about somebody. This is a question you can kind of close your eyes and ask yourself. You can also do it with your eyes open. I don't know why I said you have to close your eyes to do it. You can very much so keep your eyes open to do this. To ask yourself, do I miss this person when I'm not with them? That is how you know you are in a health, not only just like a healthy relationship, but that you're happy, that you love this person or are really starting to catch feelings for them, or as far as in love with this person.
If you are asking yourself that question and the answer is yes, then that's great. Like that is what we all strive for and we all want. And if the answer is no, then you're probably not in the right relationship. If the answer is I don't actually miss them that much, and I haven't thought about them that much, then maybe that person is not the person for you. And I think this is a good
test or a barometer of how much you really like somebody or how deep you are into it, how kind of deep your feelings are for them, how much you miss them. I think this is a good way to gauge how much you like somebody when you start dating them and how much you like somebody when you're years into a relationship with them. Because even when you are years into a relationship with somebody, you should still feel that amount of miss for them. You should still feel that longing and that like yearning and that like
Excitement when you see them again after a long period of time or even a short period of time apart. That miss is I think really how much you know you really love somebody or how much you like somebody. So how you know you're in a healthy relationship is when you miss that person. I like that one. The next one is ask yourself, is the person or is this person the person I want to be with every day when I'm 60? And focus on how they make you feel.
This one I think is a little bit dramatic or a little big. Like I think it's hard to think that far down the road. I think when you're in a relationship for a long enough amount of time, you should know that answer, and the answer should be yes. Because realistically, this is the truth. that you are going to spend all of your time with this person when you're older, when
All of the chaos and the change and the everything just settles down, you will be left with that person. Like the person you end up with, the person you choose to spend your life with is the most important decision you can make. And I really do think that's true. So asking yourself, is this person the person I want to be with every day when I'm 60? I think is a little big of a question when you first start a relationship, because I think it puts a lot of
pressure on that relationship. I think it puts like almost an unfair amount of pressure. But I think at the same time, the answer in the back of your head to that question should be I think so. Or I really could see that. It doesn't have to be immediately and like the most heavily resounding yes to that question because you don't know them that well yet. Even if you're a month in or two months in, like you know them, but there is so much more knowing to do. There's so much more growing to do.
You're gonna learn so much more about that person and spend so much more time with that person. That that answer will at some point and should be soon, yes. But I think it's a big question to put on an early relationship or even some ways into relationship. I think ultimately that answer should be yes. That when you think about the person you're with and you think about when you're gonna be 60 years old.
Do you want to spend the time with that person? Is that person the person you want to look at when you're on the couch at 60 years old? The answer should be yes, especially when you're getting more serious, and especially when you're considering moving in with somebody or getting engaged or getting married. Like that answer must, must and should, right? Must should be yes. but I think it's a little pressureful to put on an early relationship.
And it's a little like future trippy, like it's a little too like far ahead. Like, I think you need to make sure you're happy now. I think that is what I would put on this. I would say, yes, this is true. That you should make sure that answer is yes, but you should more so focus on the second part of how they make you feel now. Are you happy now? Like, is your life good with them now? Are they adding to your life? Do you feel
Like they're giving your life a fuller picture and like a higher definition when you're with that person. Like more HD. Like, is your life just brighter and happier and they make you happier? Like, is I I think that is more the focus than so far down the road. I think that thinking so far down the road can also not
Be a great thing if you're somebody that's kinda anxious, or if you're somebody that's worried about the future all the time. Like, I think you need to make sure now is good and yesterday was good and tomorrow will be good. Because that really is all you can control. Like, right? Like, 60 is so fucking far from now that I think you need to worry more about today and how you feel, not worry, hope or think about how you feel today and tomorrow and how they made you feel yesterday.
Those are the questions that you can directly answer. You can't really answer how you're gonna feel when you're 60, or even if you're gonna be I hope you're alive, but I was gonna say if you're gonna be alive. I hope you're you will be alive. Everyone's gonna be alive at 60. Everyone's live to Andre. Everyone lied to you know. but I think you need to focus more on today, yesterday, and tomorrow than 60, and how they're making you feel right now, today when you're with them, and then how much you miss them when you're not with them tomorrow or the next day.
building off of that first one. Those are much better indicators of how you're feeling about somebody and how much you really like or love somebody than thinking about 60. But ultimately I think the answer probably should be yes. yeah. The next one is life is already hard enough. Don't choose a relationship that's going to make it harder.
Yeah, I mean, of course. I think this is a great piece of advice. I think if you're looking at your relationship and it's a struggle and every day is hard and every day you're trying to make it work or it doesn't feel like it's working or something's off or something's missing or they're not making you feel good or you're not making them feel good or it's just like something's not working. The pieces of the puzzle aren't fitting that well together.
The person you're with should make your life easier, should make your days brighter. It shouldn't have to be a struggle to make it work or fit the pieces of the puzzle together. It should at some point feel easy. It should always feel easy. I mean, n not always. I think again, like with these like big sweeping takes of like always or never. It's it's impossible. But I think it should for the most part feel good when you're with them. You should feel good when you're with them.
And life is hard enough. There is so much that's going on with everything that you don't need to choose a relationship or you should not choose a relationship. So that's what I would change this to. You should not choose a relationship. It's going to make it harder. of course, everybody's going to have hardships. There's gonna be moments and there's gonna be things that are gonna make your that that are gonna be hard to work through. Like there's always going to be things like that. No relationship is easy.
Nothing is ever easy. Like every relationship does take work and effort. Like I think it's important that those moments feel like building blocks and they feel like kind of things that are building up versus something that you're always having to pick back up again. Like when you do kind of encounter a moment that is hard or is difficult or makes you feel bad or you end up
having a fight or a disagreement or a discussion. That should feel like it's a brick building up, not every single time you have to like place that back on again. And I think what I would say to this one is that this is not a black and white situation. Like no relationship is black and white and no relationship is perfect or easy or
without its flaws, without its fights, without its disagreements, without its arguments. No relationship at all. And if there is a relationship like that, then show me it because I don't believe you. And if you see those couples that say they never fight, like those are like that's what? How? Like everybody fights. Everybody has things that come up and disagreements and moments and like moods, and everybody has that. So this
Isn't to say that like when things come up or when you get in a fight, like that's when to call it quits, or if there's something that makes it hard like makes it hard that it's not worth it. Like it is absolutely worth it to work through it if you still feel good at the end of the day, if that person is still making you feel great and you are in love and you're happy and you're excited and you miss them and all of those things. This isn't to say that when it gets hard, when the going gets hard, you end it.
Because that's so the opposite of what you should do. Life is already hard enough. Don't choose a relationship that's going to make it harder. Does not mean that when there's a hard moment, you call it quits or you end it or you have permission to end it. You know, it's worth working through things when you know it's right, if that makes any sense. Like it's worth putting in the effort.
To get to the other side of the th of the problem or find that solution or find the thing that works better because you're all you're matching two, you're kind of like combining two people that are completely different people. You have different desires and values and wants and needs and upbringings and backgrounds and families and friends and lifestyles and everything is different. And you're combining the two things. You're going to at some point clash and have disagreements and arguments and
Things aren't always going to be perfect and bright and happy and you know, like it's never always going to be perfect and it shouldn't be. And that doesn't mean you quit when it's hard. but if you're in a relationship that is consistently hard and is consistently bad and is consistently making you feel bad or changing you or you see yourself changing, you should not be in that. I think that is where this one applies to.
I don't think it applies to when it gets hard in a relationship that's good. I think it applies to when it's consistently hard and it's consistently tough and it's consistently bad. The next one is how would you feel if somebody said that they can tell how much you love yourself by the partner that you've chosen? Does that feel like an insult or a compliment? That is a phenomenal.
Piece of advice. I think that is my favorite piece of advice I have said so far, and my my favorite one in this episode. How would you feel if somebody said that they can tell how much you love yourself by the partner that you've chosen? Does that feel like a compliment or an insult? Wow. Yeah, I mean, I think that is everything. I think
If somebody told you that they could tell how much you love yourself by the person you're with, it makes you think about the person you're with and how everybody else perceives that person. Are they a good person? Are they a nice person? Do they make people feel good? Do they do good things? Are they for the most part good? And you know all of those answers. Like those things should come so quickly to you.
You should know the answer to that question. And the best part is like you do know that question immediately. How would you feel if somebody said they can tell how much you love yourself by the partner that you've chosen? You know the answer to that question immediately. That is why that question is so good. That is why that piece of advice is so good, is because it doesn't take second thought. And if it does, you know, like
It it it doesn't take second thought. You know that answer immediately. It comes right to your head. You're like, that person makes people feel great. I I feel amazing about that question. That makes me feel so good about the person I'm with. I that makes me feel even better about everything because that question reflects so positively on that person. That is such a good thing to think about. It makes me s so much more in love with them, you know?
And if it's the opposite of that, then you know. But that is such an immediate and like almost like involuntary response to that question that you know, you know. That's a great piece of advice. And I think everybody should ask themselves that question today. The next piece of advice is don't ever forget that the most important relationship you will ever have in your life is your relationship with yourself.
I wanted to add, I think there's two of these in here. One or two. I think the next one is two. I can I guess I could combine them. no, I'll do this one separately. I wanted to add in two things that like reflect on you because I think they are so important and so true. Please don't ever forget that the most important relationship you will ever have in your life is the relationship with yourself. I think that this one will never go out of style. I think this is an amazing piece of advice. I think that
This is also one of those pieces of advice that you know the answer to immediately. Like you know how you feel about yourself. You know if you're confident, or if you feel strong, or if you feel good, or if you feel proud, or if you're in a moment of uncertainty, or a little moment of anxiety, or weakness, or dread, or whatever. Like you you know the moment you're in right now.
And I think overall this piece is of piece of advice isn't a momentary piece of advice. I don't think how you feel about yourself and the relationship you have with yourself is something you can answer on every single given day. But I think for the most part, you know how you feel about yourself. You know how secure you are, you know how happy you are, you know how content you are, you know how proud you are, you know what you have going, you know where you are, you know where you've been, and you know where you want to go.
And I think all of those things take time and take effort and take a lot of real kind of self-reflection and time spent with yourself. I think this is really one of those things that you can't figure out until you're like almost out of college or even out of college, because that is when you spend the most time with yourself and the moment when you're kind of confronted with the it's you and me, buddy, like it's us. and there's nobody else around and you're spending a lot more time on your own.
And I think that can be really good. And it should be something that you try to work on or work toward or spend time figuring out because the most important relationship you have is with yourself. That is the person you're with when you go to bed and when you wake up and when you leave work and when you go to work and when you go back to your apartment or your house or wherever you are, you spend the most time with yourself. And if you're
In a place or in a moment where you're uncertain, or if you're feeling anxious, or if you're feeling sad, or if you're feeling off. Like, that is totally fine. And it's so normal to have moments and periods like that. But it just means that you have some work to do. Because I think it is not until you figure that out where you can be like fully.
The best version of yourself with somebody else. That's not to say that you can't figure it out in a relationship with somebody else, but I think you will become your most confident and your most self-assured and your most self-aware when you have all of that figured out. I think it takes time. Again, I think it takes effort, but I think that is when you will be happiest in a relationship. That is when you will feel the best in a relationship, is when you are happiest and feeling the best about yourself.
And I think that's not to say that you need to break up with somebody or you can't be in a relationship if you don't have things figured out or if you're in a period of uncertainty or anxiety or whatever it is. Cause I would go as far to say that I feel like everybody has moments and periods of that. And that is also something you can lean on somebody in a relationship for and with. And when you are so
Comfortable with somebody else that you can just say, I'm feeling anxious, or I'm feeling unsure, or I don't know. And I just want to tell you because I want to get it off my chest and I want to just like ha have you in it with me. That is the best thing ever. I think it is such an amazing feeling when you can just tell somebody how you're feeling right now, and they are just there with you in it. And you don't have to be perfect, and you don't have to have all the answers or any of the answers at all.
When you're that comfortable with somebody, that is also when you know you're in a good relationship. When you can say that to somebody and not be worried about what they're gonna think of you, that is a really secure and healthy relationship. So I would go as far to say that like this is not to say you have to have it all figured out to enter a relationship or to be in a good relationship. I'm telling you, I think that when you're not and you can share it with somebody.
That is a good relationship. But I think it is important that you figure out your relationship with yourself, that you're happy with yourself, that you feel good about yourself, that you feel confident or proud, or you like the direction you're going, or you're starting to figure it out, or there's times and that's not to say that there's not gonna be times where you're not, because we're all gonna have that. Always. That's never gonna go away. I have moments like that all the time.
But that's not to I'm unhappy with myself. I I I think for the most part I really am happy and proud of where I am and who I am and what I stand for and what I have. And like, you know what I mean? Like that's not to say that I wasn't super anxious last night or I wasn't uncertain today. Like it it's all kind of in a mixed bag together. And I think that's always going to be. But don't ever forget that the most important relationship you will ever have in your entire life is the relationship with yourself.
I think that's a great piece advice. The next piece of advice, which is a, and this one is a direct follow-up with that one. Choose life with yourself first. I think this is again a really great piece of advice. And I think that once you're really happy and you're secure about yourself, that is the best way to enter any relationship. but that's not gonna not falter. That's not gonna not shift, and the axes aren't gonna feel a little off sometimes. But if you are
you know, confident and you feel good about yourself. That is the best way to enter a relationship and that that is the best way to make somebody else feel secure too. I think that's kind of the second part of all this is that when you're secure, you make somebody else feels feel secure. And if you're in self if you're insecure and you're feeling insecure about yourself, that might lead you to make somebody else feel insecure or feel insecure about the relationship or what you have. And
I just think like security breeds security and insecurity can breed insecurity. So feeling secure about yourself before you enter anything is one of the best ways you can enter a relationship. The next one is we forget that loving somebody is such an honor. It's a gift. It's a real honor to be able to love somebody through several seasons of their life, to be able to be their support system, to be the smiling face that picks them up on a day when they feel shitty, to be there when they lose.
lose somebody, lose an opportunity, or when they hit their highest high, to sit with them on a Sunday night on the couch every Sunday night. It's an honor to love someone and to be there with them. Yeah, I love that. I think that is like a beautiful like interpretation of what a relationship is like and what a good relationship is like. That it feels so great to be the person that somebody wants to tell their wins to.
That somebody wants to run home and be like, guess what? Like, I got that interview. Like, that is the greatest feeling ever. And it is an honor. Like, I love this. And to be the person that can be the shoulder they cry on when it didn't go well or if something happened. to be the person that they just want to come home to when they're exhausted or they're tired, or they're feeling uncertain or anxious, to go back to what I was saying before. Like, to be the person that somebody can lean on.
Is an honor and it really is a privilege, and we do forget that sometimes. And to be with somebody through the moments that are quiet and the moments that are the loudest is really beautiful. And that is what we all, I think, strive for, and what we all want at the end of the day is somebody to be with and to lie with and to have and to hold and to in for better or for worse. Like that is what a relationship is. That is what a healthy relationship is when you
Are excited to be the person that they want to run home to to tell about the biggest and best accomplishments and the best things that happened. And you feel important and like proud to be the person that they want to come to when they're not good and when things aren't good, and to just be there with that person. Like that is what that is what it is. Like that is.
One of the greatest and if not the greatest gift of life is to be able to find a relationship or just somebody that you can be that with and that you can also have the person that you wanna run to and tell and scream and shout everything and the best things that happened, and also the person that you wanna be like, things suck and things aren't good and I'm worried or I don't know or I'm stressed and just
Lay it all on, for better or for worse, and in the great moments and in the worst moments. The person that you want to lean on, the person that you feel comfortable sharing things with. And I I just think that is like the greatest thing that we have as humans is the ability to find that and to hold that and have that when we do have it.
and to cherish it and to honor it. Like I think that is a really beautiful sentiment, and I really like this piece of advice. I I love it, actually. and I think that like we do forget that loving someone is such an honor. Like, it is an honor to be that person for somebody. It is unbelievable that out of eight billion people, that we can find that person, and we do find that person. And
You have to have hope that if you haven't right now or if you haven't in a while or maybe never have, that you will find that person because it is one of the greatest, if not the greatest honor in life to be that for somebody else and to have that with somebody else. So you have to hold out hope to have that. And if you do have it, you better hold on to it as fucking hard as possible because
It is an honor to have that, and it's unbelievable to have that. It really is unbelievable. Like the fact that out of eight billion people you find the person that is your person is so fucking special. And we really have to honor that more often, and we have to remember that, and we have to just like sit with that for a second to be like, holy shit, like I found somebody that I'm so excited to talk to and to tell everything that happened to and to run home to.
That is unbelievable and so, so, so special. We forget that loving someone is such an honor. And I think that this is something that we need to not forget and we need to remember more often. The last one is sometimes you're running, and the other one is walking. It's okay to be ahead, but don't lose sight. Don't get so far ahead that you leave your mate back there.
Sometimes someone's healthy and the others on the IR, but we're still on the same team. I really, really like this piece of advice. I Matthew McConaughey said this one. I haven't attributed these quotes because a lot of them are just from like random people I found on like TikTok, again, Instagram and YouTube, and like all of these like viral videos I've w gone through to find these pieces of advice. And I really liked this, so I'll probably do a part two of this one. but I do remember this one. This one was Matthew McConaughey. I really love this piece of advice. I think that it
kind of refers to what I was talking about earlier, about how relationships take work and effort. And sometimes one person is running ahead and accomplishing big things and everything's going well for and everything's going right. And the other person it's not the same for. And yeah, to make this a little less kind of vague, one person just got a new job and a raise and a promotion and
found their dream job and got their apartment they wanted to get and things are going really well at work and in their life and in their goals and in their aspirations and in their dreams. And the other person doesn't like their job and they're looking for a job and they've been looking for a while and they've been in a period of rejection or a moment of, you know, like doom and gloom and despair and kind of like this sucks. And if you're the one ahead, it's important.
It is imperative to make sure that the person behind or the person working and kind of walking behind feels just as good about that place or feels just as supported, more importantly, about that place as you do at in your place as the one running ahead. And knowing that at some point it may reverse or and it will reverse.
Knowing that it is the most important to make sure that that person feels seen and supported, that you are never looking too far ahead, that you're not stopping to turn around, or grab or turning around and then walking back to them and making sure that they feel fully supported back there and holding their hand and walking with them back there instead of running ahead. You run back to them. Like I think this is an amazing piece of advice because this happens.
So often, I think especially in your twenties, with everybody in so many different places and in so many different things in life. I think the kind of job and work and career example I gave is probably really good for a lot of your twenties when people are starting to figure out their careers and starting to get a hold of it, and other people have no fucking idea what they wanna do or where they wanna be or what they wanna do with their life.
I think that's probably a pretty universal example that a lot of couples and relationships have endured or are currently enduring. And I think it is really important that the person who's behind feels just as supported as you do with your wins. And I think making sure they feel uplifted and upheld and loved and seen and heard and supported is the best word for it. is a really great piece of advice.
Sometimes you're running and the other one is walking. It's okay to be ahead, but don't ever lose sight. Don't ever get so far ahead that you leave your mate back there. I really love that one. I think it's a really nice one to leave on. I think it's a really universal one, whether it's with your career and your job or if it's with something completely different. I think that's just like a good kind of less vague example to put on it. and I think
Every couple, every relationship has a stage and a phase like that where one person or if if not always has a stage and a phase like that where one person's a little ahead and one person's a little bit behind. I think it's probably unlikely that you're both walking together at all times. And it is really important that you make your person feel supported and loved and seen and heard and all of that.
I think there's a lot of great pieces of advice in here. I think that I really hope you took something away from this and that I really hope you can leave with one of these or two of these or all of these and you can come back to this episode. I'm definitely gonna come back for a part two of this. I love this installation of advice from the internet. and I think there is so much good advice and it's so hard to find and find the pieces that resonate most, and and find the best ones. So I I hope
one or all of these resonated with you, and I will be back soon with a part two of relationship advice from the internet. That is the episode. Thank you so much for listening to Guy Set, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh, I'm 26 years old, and I'm here every single week, every single Tuesday to talk about what should be talked about for guys. If you like this episode, I'm really good, please like subscribe to this podcast. Five stars if you're doing five stars, not for the channel once. Five stars, I really appreciate that.
If you'd question this way to talk about guys in your 20s, head over to my website, guyset.com, G-U-I-S-E-T.com. There's an F anything box right there. You can ask me anything. I'll be sure to talk about it, including the next segment of Dear Guy Set that I do every third week of the month where I answer the questions the guys are asking. You can find so many blog posts across dating, relationships, confidence, career, mindset, lifestyle, style, what to do, what to wear. you can search so many different situations, scenarios, questions you might have, and there will be probably a blog post that matches up to
your question exactly and I think you'll find a lot of great pieces of advice over there at guyset.com. That is the episode. Thank you so much for listening to Guy Set, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. And I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys.








