You're There for a Reason (Even If You Don't Know What It Is Yet)

Imposter Syndrome Is Loudest Right Before You Speak

Why that feeling usually means you actually belong

I was on a work call recently when that familiar feeling hit.

Four people on the screen. Two potential partners. My teammate leading the conversation. And me, sitting there thinking, what the hell am I doing here?

“I was sitting on the call and I got this really weird feeling. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what I’m going to add to this conversation. I don’t think I should be here.”

That’s imposter syndrome in real time.

I was by far the youngest person on the call. Everyone else looked older, sounded more confident, and spoke like they’d done this a hundred times before. I caught myself nodding aggressively, saying things like “yeah” and “uh-huh” just to prove I was engaged.

“I nodded and I was like, yeah, uh-huh, uh-huh. I don’t know why I felt like I should do that, but I did.”

The more I tried to shrink into the background, the smaller I felt.

That same shrinking instinct shows up in a lot of areas. Dating. Work. New rooms. New responsibilities. It’s the same internal voice I talked about in How Do I Build Confidence When I’ve Never Had It, the one that tells you to wait until you feel ready before you speak.

The problem is, ready never shows up.

The Moment It Clicked

Right before the call ended, something shifted.

“I thought to myself, you’re here. You’ve made it. You’re in the position. You’re on the call. You were actively filling one of the four Zoom boxes and you were hired for a reason.”

That sentence stopped the spiral.

Because whether I fully understood why I was there or not, someone else did. Someone decided I belonged in that room. Someone believed I could add value.

And at that point, the only thing left was whether I was going to trust that or let fear decide for me.

That’s the same realization that shows up in What a 61-Year-Old Wants Guys in Their 20s To Know with Martino. Clarity doesn’t come before action. It comes after you take it.

Saying Something Anyway

So I spoke up.

“I made the comment. I decided to go with the fact that I’m here for a reason. Whether they are more skilled than me or have years of experience on me, I’m still with them in the room.”

It wasn’t groundbreaking. It wasn’t perfectly phrased. But it was mine.

And that mattered more than sounding impressive.

Imposter syndrome doesn’t disappear when you say the perfect thing. It disappears when you stop letting fear decide how much space you’re allowed to take up.

Why Imposter Syndrome Feels So Real

Imposter syndrome convinces you that you slipped through the cracks. That you fooled people into thinking you belong. That the second you open your mouth, everyone will realize they made a mistake.

But slow that thought down.

Do you really believe that multiple people independently misjudged you? That hiring managers, teammates, and leaders all somehow got it wrong?

Research from Psychology Today backs this up. Imposter syndrome is most common in high-achieving, self-aware people because they actually understand what they don’t know. That awareness gets misread as incompetence.

“If you decide that you’re not good enough to be there, then your wish will come true. Your thought will soon become your reality.”

That line stuck with me because it’s brutally accurate.

The moment you tell yourself you don’t belong, you start acting like it. You speak less. You contribute less. You disappear. And suddenly the fear becomes self-fulfilling.

That same pattern shows up in How Do I Build Confidence When I'm Feeling Behind? Confidence isn’t volume. It’s presence.

The Perspective That Changed Everything

Later, I had another thought.

What if everyone else on that call felt the same way?

“Is everybody experiencing imposter syndrome? Does everybody wonder if what they say will be valuable?”

You never really know what’s happening in someone else’s head. But once you accept that most people are just trying not to sound stupid, the room feels different.

You stop comparing timelines.
You stop measuring experience like it’s a competition.
You focus on what you can contribute right now.

That’s when confidence stops being performative and starts being grounded.

Take the Swing

At the end of the episode, I wrote something down that I keep coming back to.

“Why let the fear of striking out deter you from swinging? You’re already at the plate. You can take the swing, or you can say the thing.”

That’s the whole point.

You’re already in the room.
You’re already on the call.
You’re already at the table.

You don’t control how people react. You only control whether you show up.

And choosing to show up is confidence.

The Truth About Belonging

You’re not where you are by accident.

You didn’t get lucky. You didn’t sneak in. You were invited. You were trusted. You earned your seat, even if you don’t fully see why yet.

Belonging doesn’t come from feeling ready.
It comes from showing up before you feel ready and realizing you’re still standing.

The next time imposter syndrome hits, remind yourself of this.

You’re there for a reason.

Now the only question is what you’re going to do with it.

FAQ: Imposter Syndrome at Work and in Life

Why does imposter syndrome hit right before I speak?
Because that’s the moment where visibility matters. Fear gets loud when you’re about to be seen.

Does imposter syndrome mean I’m actually underqualified?
No. It usually means you care and are aware of your growth. Underqualified people rarely question themselves.

How do I push through imposter syndrome in meetings?
Ground yourself in one simple fact: you were invited for a reason. Speak from your perspective, not from comparison.

Does imposter syndrome ever go away completely?
Not always. But it gets quieter the more often you act despite it.