How Do I Build Confidence When I'm Feeling Behind?

There comes a point in your 20s where you look around and convince yourself everyone is ahead of you. Someone is more successful. Someone is more talented. Someone is further along. And suddenly your confidence drops to zero.

So let me get right to it.

You build confidence by showing up exactly where you are, not where you think you should be. You are not behind. You are at the beginning of your own timeline.

I learned that clearly in my interview with Jordan Litz. He didn’t grow up planning a Broadway career. He didn’t follow a perfect path. He didn’t even start performing until years after most people think they’re supposed to.

And the way he talked about it changed how I see confidence entirely.

Confidence Starts When You Stop Waiting to Be Ready

Jordan said something that hit me hard:

“I was terrified.”

He didn’t wait for confidence before he started. He didn’t wait to feel prepared. He stepped in scared and let confidence catch up later.

That’s how it actually works.

Confidence is earned after the action, not before it.

If fear is blocking your first step right now, How Do I Start Something New When I’m Scared breaks down why fear usually shows up right before growth.

According to Psychology Today, confidence develops through exposure and repetition, not positive thinking or self-talk.

You Are Allowed to Find Your Path Later Than Everyone Else

At one point, Jordan said:

“I found performing at 26.”

Let that sit.

He didn’t start at five years old. He didn’t have a childhood dream he followed perfectly. He discovered his path later and still ended up on Broadway.

You’re not behind.
You’re just comparing yourself to the wrong timeline.

If this comparison loop is constant for you, How To Stop Comparing Yourself to Everyone Else explains why comparison distorts reality and kills momentum.

You Will Never Feel Equal to Everyone Around You (And That’s Normal)

When Jordan talked about stepping into rooms full of elite performers, he said:

“Those guys are superhuman.”

That’s how comparison feels when you’re new. Everyone else looks untouchable. You assume you don’t belong.

But he didn’t let that stop him. He let their talent teach him instead of intimidate him.

That’s how confidence grows.
Not by being the best in the room, but by being willing to learn inside it.

Research from Harvard Business Review shows that people who place themselves in environments where they are challenged grow confidence faster than those who stay where they feel comfortable.

Confidence Is Built From What You Already Have

One of the most practical things Jordan said was this:

“You can take the skill set you already have and apply it to something new.”

Confidence doesn’t come from becoming a brand new person. It comes from realizing you’re undervaluing what you already carry.

Experience counts.
Repetition counts.
Showing up counts.

Confidence is proof of effort, not personality.

If you’re discounting yourself because you don’t feel impressive yet, How Do I Build Confidence When I Feel Behind explains why confidence often lags behind progress.

Feeling Behind Is a Sign You’re Growing

There was a moment Jordan admitted:

“I walked in there with nothing.”

And here’s the part most guys miss.

He walked in anyway.

Feeling behind doesn’t mean something is wrong. It means you’re starting a chapter you’ve never lived before.

Beginnings always feel like being behind because you’re comparing your first step to someone else’s hundredth.

Hard Moments Don’t Erase Your Progress

Jordan also said:

“I was crushed, dude.”

Confidence isn’t linear. You will doubt yourself. You will feel behind again. You will question everything.

But confidence is built in the moments after that. Not from perfection, but from choosing to keep going.

Where You Go From Here

You are not behind.
You are building something that takes time, reps, and patience.

Confidence grows every time you:

• show up scared

• use what you already have

• learn from people ahead of you

• choose not to quit

If you want the next step, How to Know When It’s Time to Bet on Yourself is the natural place to go next.

FAQ

Why do I feel behind all the time?
Because you’re comparing your timeline to someone else’s highlight reel.

How do I gain confidence when I feel unprepared?
Start anyway. Confidence comes from repetition, not readiness.

What if everyone around me is better than me?
That usually means you’re in the right room. Learn instead of judging yourself.

How do I rebuild confidence after setbacks?
Focus on small wins. Consistency rebuilds belief faster than motivation.

How do I stay motivated when progress feels slow?
Progress is invisible until it isn’t. Keep showing up.