Write Your Own Story

Josh Felgoise (00:00.206)

Welcome to Guy's Set, the guy's guide to what you should be talking about. I'm Josh, I'm 23 years old, and I'm here to find all the tips, advice, and recommendations for guys in their 20s. Let's get into it.

Josh Felgoise (00:17.966)

Hi guys, welcome back to GuySet, the guy's guide to what should be talked about. I am so proud and excited to say that it is the 50th episode of GuySet. I almost cannot believe that I am saying that and I've been doing this for about a year now. And it happens to be the perfect time for this episode to be happening as many colleges or literally every college is graduating right now, the class of 2024.

And I thought it would be the perfect time to give a graduation speech. Now, I was never chosen to be the valedictorian and I didn't deserve it. I was never chosen to read a speech at graduation. And I think that's a good thing because I don't think I had something good enough to say then, but I do think I have something to say now and I have a podcast to say it on. So I'm going to.

And I think this message is really for anybody in their 20s. So if you're hearing this now, this is for you. I would first like to say a huge thank you for listening to me right now. If you're here now or you've been here since the beginning, I am truly incredibly so grateful for you for giving me the opportunity to speak to you every week and share my opinions and thoughts and advice and

whatever I have to say that week it means the world that you have given me the chance to try and add some value to your day or your week or change your perspective or add some thought and I am so so grateful that you're listening right now really truly and I hope to do this for as long as I can I really do. I have shared so much in the past 49 now 50 episodes and had some

absolutely incredible conversations. I have learned a tremendous amount by doing this every single week for almost a year now. I don't always get it right. I miss the mark a lot. I've made people mad. I've had conversations that have changed my perspective, and I've hopefully changed someone else's. I've made someone else feel less alone, and I've also felt alone. I've felt embarrassed. I've felt anxious. I've felt nervous. I've felt hesitant.

Josh Felgoise (02:37.154)

I've also felt incredibly proud and I've hopefully proven somebody wrong. I've learned more about myself than I ever have in this past year. I've been more vulnerable than I ever thought I could be. And I cannot imagine my life without doing this. I share all of this with you because while it seems like a very individual experience to have a podcast, it's also very much been like the start of my twenties. And what I can imagine will most likely persist through the rest of them.

A ton of change, a ton of anxiety, a ton of happiness, a ton of regret, and a ton of moments where I make myself proud. So now onto you, the class of 2024. Let's talk about change and control. There will be so much change in the next few years of your life. Most of it will be uncontrollable. And I think that you'll come into the most trouble when you try to control it.

If you don't allow yourself to give into the change and give into the desire to try something new or go into a new experience with an open mind, you'll never know what can come out of it or at least what you'll learn about yourself from it. Some days you'll wake up and think, what the hell am I doing? You'll feel like you're in the wrong place at the wrong time. Other days you'll wake up and feel like you are completely on track. You'll feel like you're in the right place and a little bit more on time.

And this will go back and forth and back and forth. When you finally feel like you're in control, everything will fall out from under your feet. So what I say is lean in to what you can control. Let that be where you focus. You can't control where your friend will move, but you can control how much you call them. You can't control what your boss will say to you, but you can control your response. You can't control her ghosting you.

But you can control your decision to not talk badly about her on the internet.

Josh Felgoise (04:39.63)

And where you can't control, you'll figure it out on the way. You always have and you always will. Fake it till you make it. And look, you've made it. You've graduated. And while you're on the road, try to lean into gratitude. Meet new people and make an effort to get to know them. Really get to know them. You never know who they know or where that connection can lead you or who they'll become in your life. You don't get to choose what comes at you every day, but you do get to control your reaction and what you do from there.

I can't take credit for this quote, but I do live by it. We can't control the waves, but we can choose how to ride them. Now let's talk about doubt and comparison. I'll leave room for applause for that last part. Now let's talk about doubt and comparison. The what-ifs and the doubt will creep up and creep in at every step of the way with everything going on in your life. What if I'm not good enough? What if I fail? What if I don't get the job? What if I do get the job?

What if she doesn't like me? What if I don't like her? What if I don't stay as close with all my friends? What if I try? What if they laugh at me? What if it works? I can say from experience that you will doubt yourself constantly and think everything you're doing is wrong and that everybody else is doing it right. I can almost guarantee you that the person you think has it right is thinking that about somebody else or maybe even about you.

Try as best you can to not let comparison rule the way you think. It will creep up on you. It does to me all the time. I heard this psychological trick one time and I use it a lot. Put that thought on a cloud in your mind and let it go. It won't get you any further. Now let's talk about writing your story. I don't know what's gonna happen for any of us, but what I do know is that we're all here for a pretty short amount of time. It is up to us what we do with that time.

and how we pick up the pen every day and decide what to write for the next chapter or the next page. I'm obsessed with the idea of writing your own story, your own narrative. You get the opportunity to write your page every single day. Now, everybody will have a different perspective, perception, and opinion of your story. That happens with every book, if you think about

Josh Felgoise (07:02.126)

The person next to you in class reading that same book will most likely draw a different conclusion from the story and the moral than you did. And that's okay. You don't get to control what people take away from the story. You don't control how somebody will perceive what you write. But what you can control is what you do, the next action you take, and the next step you take. That's all up to you. To the class of 2024, I leave you with this.

The biggest thing I've learned in my few years after college is to dive into what excites you. Letting the people around you dictate and determine what you do with your time will leave you stagnant and wishing you had gone for it. You will find things in the next few years of your life that will excite you, that you are genuinely passionate about. So why not lean into those? Why not try? Why wait? Actually, what are you waiting for?

Nobody is going to put the pen into your hand. You have to take it for yourself. I started a podcast. I post videos of myself and my opinions and my thoughts and my experiences every single day online. And that's not for everybody. Some people will think it's weird. Some people will think it's cringy and embarrassing. Some people will send it to their friends and not in a nice way. But it's something I've always wanted to try and it's something I've always wanted to do. And for the longest time, I waited on the sideline and thought,

What will they say about me if I do it? And to that I say I would rather try and potentially fail than wait on the sidelines and never know if I could do it. So this is the part in the speech where I would say, class 2022, please look under your chairs. Everybody look under their chairs and there would be a pen. Maybe I like the Bic gel velocity pen. I use that myself. So I said, look under your chairs. They would rate child and see this blue Bic velocity gel pen. And now I start again.

So to the class of 2024, I say, don't be afraid to be caught trying. People are going to talk anyway, so I say give them something to talk about. How are you going to write your story? Thank you. And everyone's like,

Josh Felgoise (09:11.79)

And genuinely, I am so happy that I never was able to give a graduation speech until now, because I don't think I had enough to say before, and I think I had to get a little bit more experience. And between you and me, heart to heart here, the past two years of life and everybody's life after college are incredibly interesting and an incredibly daunting time. And people say the two years after college, and I don't think it changes. I think it's still continuing to be.

nerve wracking and anxiety inducing and daunting and scary. And I listened to a bunch of speeches in preparation for this podcast, a lot of graduation speeches, namely, I liked Jerry Seinfeld's from like three days ago from the Duke graduation. And I really liked Taylor Swift's from NYU my year I graduated, which was 2022. And I'm going to play you the parts from both speeches that I that really resonated with me. So here's Jerry Seinfeld's first.

Josh Felgoise (10:29.806)

Meaningless physical objects.

Josh Felgoise (10:42.51)

pizza crust that collapses with just the right amount of pressure. I have truly spent my life focusing on the smallest things imaginable completely oblivious to all the big issues of living.

Find something where you love the good parts and don't mind the bad parts too much. The torture you're comfortable with. This is the golden path to victory in life. Work, exercise, relationships, they all have a solid component of pure torture and they are all 1000 % worth it. That part. I really, really love that part. It resonated with me a ton. And then in Taylor Swift's speech, she, I'll find it. Hold on. And if you're hearing that and you're like, Swift.

Come on.

Josh Felgoise (11:37.206)

Okay, but I don't if I can play music on a podcast. Maybe I'll just say it. She says, the scary news is you're on your own now. But the cool news is you're on your own now. And I love that. It stuck with me when I listened to it, the year I was graduating. two years ago. And when I heard that the first time it really stuck with me because, because it's true. Once you leave college, you are on your own. It is up to you what you do with your time.

and your effort and your energy. And those are probably the three most important things any of us have. And it's just all up to us. And there's no path or guidance or somebody telling us what to do or where to be or where to go. Sure, you have your job that you go to every day, but it's up to you. And it's crazy to think that that just happens for everybody.

And it's crazy to think that that has been the past two years of my life. And everybody who's listening to this, if you're out of college for two years, that it's all been up to you. Your decisions are up to you. And we're bound to make wrong ones a lot of the time. Like, we're not going to always get it right. And when we don't make the right decisions, we can lean into the lessons and what we learn about ourselves from that time. And...

and get it right the next time. It doesn't mean we will, but we can at least try again. And it's scary and good at the same time. I don't know, it's exciting because as I just said in the speech I made, the pen is yours every day to pick up and decide what you want to do with it. And if the story you're currently writing isn't working anymore, you can turn the page and write a new one. And if the story is working, how do you continue it and how do you keep it going?

So to the class of 2024 and to anybody listening to this right now, how are you going to write your story? Thank you so much. Listen to guys at the guys guide to what should be talked about. My name is Josh and I am on here every single Tuesday to talk about what should be talked about for guys in their twenties. If you liked this episode, I really hope you did. Please like subscribe, leave a review, give this episode a like, give it a thumbs up, follow wherever.

Josh Felgoise (13:53.024)

Send it any questions, anything you want me to talk about, anything that should be talked about to my DMs at the guyset, T H E G U Y S E T or to my email at joshjosh at guyset, G U Y S E T and on my website guyset.com, there will be two blog posts new for you every single week starting this week. I know I said last week, but whatever. Thank you so much for listening and I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys.