Why Not You?

Josh Felgoise (00:00.204)

Welcome to Guy's Set, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh, I'm 24 years old, and I'm here to find all the tips, advice, and recommendations for everything you're wondering about. Let's get into it.

Josh Felgoise (00:17.998)

Hi guys, welcome back to guyset, a guys guide to what should be talked about. I feel like in college, after college, and beyond, we somewhat become stagnant in what we do. Meaning we find a few things that we like to do or we're known to do and we stick with them. We don't really step outside of that often in fear of many things.

In fear of judgment, in fear of failure, in fear of finding out we can't or we're not good enough, we're not good at it. All the things that hold you or I back from trying something new. From picking something up that draws you to it. Maybe there's a moment you feel compelled to try something or take a risk one way or another and there's always that voice or that thought that holds you back from going or doing. I find that when I have these ideas for episodes where I'm talking about change or fear of change,

They come at me at the right time when change is occurring for like a big group of people. Maybe people are moving somewhere new, a new lease, starting college, starting school, a new year of school, a new job, wanting a new job, a wanting or a longing of something new. And it happens to be September where it's kind of the end of summer. Summer is now coming to an end, which is very sad to say. And it's like a new start of the year somewhat. Some people say it's like the new January. And.

I don't have a big life change happening personally, but I can feel that shift when it becomes September, when summer plans start to end and life kind of picks back up. And I feel myself, as I was talking about in beginning, becoming little bit stagnant in my everyday and wanting to try something new. So whatever that may be for you, this episode is all about finding new passions and interests and hobbies and chasing them regardless of fear or judgment. For me, this came in the form of a guitar. You may be like, what?

are you talking about? And that's kind of what I mean. I don't play guitar. I never have, but I've always thought it was something cool or something that maybe one day I'll learn or I'll pick up. I am by no means a muj- muj- I am no- see, like, clearly, I am by no means a musician and I don't know how to play guitar and I will be terrible at it for a while and it will take me a long time to get it or even get better in the first place. And what I just said are all of the thoughts and roadblocks and feelings that-

Josh Felgoise (02:35.0)

could get me to reconsider this idea or the spark of something new that I wanted to try, regardless of the outcome. And I'm not picking up a guitar to become the next Zach Bryan, although you never know what happens. I'm picking it up because I saw my sister's guitar and felt like it was something I wanted to try but never got around to for one reason or another. Maybe it's one of the reasons I just told you, fear of failure, fear of judgment, or maybe simply because I just didn't put in the effort. Either way, I played hers.

absolutely atrociously and for a few minutes, for a few days, and I decided it was something that I wanted to try, so I bought one. And the first thing that happens when you tell someone that you're going to try something new, being that you're brave enough to divulge the new possibility of failure to somebody else, is usually led by confusion, maybe some laughter, skepticism, and a whole lot of questions. Why? What led you to that? Let's see how long you actually do that one for.

And that's a normal reaction to something new. While it's not the most encouraging reaction and could again be another reason why someone does not go and try something new, it's human nature to react negatively or reticently to change or new in general. If you can get past that and your own inner monologue, maybe this is your message to try the thing that you're thinking about now. Let it be as small as learning a new instrument or as big as making a change in your career. Let it be the thing you've always wanted to try but never thought you could.

And you may not have one now, but I'm sure you will at some point. I've found and developed this perspective over the past weekend from some of the recent tragedies that I heard about in the news, built from the realization of how fragile life is, of how quickly it can shift, and how quickly it can change. I'm sure you saw the news on Friday morning about Johnny and Matthew Goudreau, and if you didn't, these two brothers, one is a professional hockey player and one is in the minors, I believe.

were tragically hit and killed by a drunk driver Thursday night, the night before their sister's wedding. It can really shift that quickly. And when you hear of a tragedy like that, it's so unfathomable, so unimaginable that we can't comprehend the weight of that or the facts of the situation. And the perspective we get in those moments when you hear of a tragedy, the perspective of how fragile life is,

Josh Felgoise (04:55.648)

stays with you for a little while, if we're lucky, maybe that day or the next day. It's when you remember that if you put your problems on a table alongside somebody else's, you'd most likely take yours back very quickly. That perspective is so easily lost in our day-to-day lives when things come up that seem so important, but zoomed out are so incredibly inconsequential. But that's not easy to do on a day-to-day basis. It's almost nearly impossible. So in those pockets of perspective,

That's where we can develop new confidence, new strength, and new fearlessness. I saw a TikTok recently that talked about the dash on a headstone. I'm sorry to get so dark so quickly on this podcast episode, but I really think when I have an idea for these types of podcasts that I gain a perspective that gives me confidence to try something new, that gives me confidence to put aside the fear of judgment and the fear of failure, I really think it's important to share it with you and I think it's one of the reasons I started this podcast and why I do it every week.

So when I have these moments of hope and of fearlessness, I feel compelled to share them with you, whether they're repetitive of another episode or not, because I think it's so important to just relay this perspective. So I wanna play this TikTok I heard recently. I gotta find it, hold on. I should have prepared this. I know he's in a car. Where is he? He's in a car. Fuck me. yeah, great. Okay, here it is. Here's what the guy said, and I'm gonna play it for you.

His name is Zach. account is chill, chill advice for humans. On your gravestone. The only thing separating your birthdate and your death date is literally just a dash. No list of accomplishments. There's no failures on it. There's no highlights in your life. Nobody cares. In 500 years, nobody's going to remember that one embarrassing thing you did that one failure you had.

I'm gonna try and be as cliche as possible, bro. Just follow your dreams. Like there's no point in not. Why would you not? Life is so short, it's represented as a dash on your gravestone and you're worried about what other people will think, bro. Shoot the shot, bro. Shoot the shot. your gravestone. Now he says bro and bruh a little bit more than I do on my day to day conversational speak, but I think the message is really clear in that video and that video stuck with me.

Josh Felgoise (07:18.136)

And especially amongst young people like you or I, if you're the same or a similar age to me, we aren't programmed to think about death or having to think about death because it feels like such a foreign concept. And we really shouldn't on a day-to-day basis because it's sad and can be very destructive. But in the moments you do and in the moments where you gain that perspective about life and death and how short this all is and how inconsequential most of the things that we do really are,

It's in those moments that I'm asking you and I to both grab onto when we can develop a perspective. Why not take a chance on yourself? Set aside the fear, put down the judgment and go for it. Why do we wait so long to take a chance on ourselves? What is the worst that can happen? You send the email and they don't reply. You ask them out and they say no. You apply for the job and you get rejected. You pick up the guitar.

And you suck. I'm purposely focusing on the negatives because I can't set the best for you. I can't set how high that ceiling can go. No one really can beside you. But I can say I feel like we share a lot of the same negatives, a lot of the same negative self-talk and a lot of the same negative self-thoughts. You're not too old and it's not too late to go for it. Just because you didn't once doesn't mean you can't now.

Really, the worst that happens is you decide to change and pivot again and try something new. You discover that it either is or isn't for you, but in that discovery, you tried. And I'd rather be seen trying than know I never tried. So now I turn it over to you. What will you do to write your story in the way you've always wanted to write it? The next time you develop a new perspective about your life, you gain a spark of something that you've always wanted to try, an idea of something you wanted to do. Will you go for it?

or will you let the fear of failure and the fear of judgment hold you back? What will you do today to try? So that is the episode for this week. I initially had a different topic to share with you, but this one just felt more important and more relevant than anything else could have this week. And I like to share things with you when they happen in my life. I think it feels the most real that way and you know what's happening with me at the same time it's happening with you and when you're listening to this.

Josh Felgoise (09:35.752)

And I hope this episode resonated with you in one way or another. And I hope that the next time you develop a new perspective or you get that spark that you go for it you take that risk and you take the chance. Next week's episode is an interview with a guest I met a couple of weeks ago. And I think you'll really like, not gonna give too much away about that one, but he's about 30 years old and has started a couple of different businesses and has had a really interesting life trajectory up until this point.

Has had some really low lows and some really high highs and I'm excited to have that conversation with him. I haven't had it yet So I'm having that conversation this week and it will be out Tuesday Of course of next week if you like this episode or if it did please give this podcast five stars and leave a review That's one two, three, four five stars up top on Spotify Apple podcast wherever you listen to this doesn't matter If you anything I'm gonna talk about it should be talked about send to my email Josh at guys it calm j o s h g u i s c t com or send to my DMS at the guys at th e g u i s e t I'm getting so good at this. my god. Holy shit

Thank you so much for listening and I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys.