Why Do I Get Anxiety Out of Nowhere?

Josh Felgoise (00:00.204)

Welcome to Guy's Set, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh, I'm 24 years old, and I'm here to find all the tips, advice, and recommendations for everything you're wondering about. Let's get into it.

Josh Felgoise (00:17.996)

Welcome back to guys that a guy's guide to what should be talked about. Today's topic is an episode is all about anxiety and anxiety attacks. And I think it's a topic that one is really hard to talk about because it's just genuinely generally hard to put into words and describe. And two is something that just really isn't talked about for guys in their teens, 20s, 30s, whatever. So that's what I'm going to do today.

Anxiety in general is a very weird topic because everybody experiences it so differently and at different times and at different stages and at different moments in their day and their week in their life. And I experienced anxiety and potentially an anxiety attack last week, one day when I woke up and I want to tell you about it because that is what I do here. And I want to start by saying I feel all better like

No, not all better. I want to start by saying I have gotten over it and I'm good now, but there was a moment last week where I did not feel good, like mentally and mindset wise for a few hours in the morning. And I just want to tell you about that experience so we can make this topic like something that's not so like weird to talk about or uncomfortable or that guys feel like they shouldn't and can't experience anxiety and that other guys don't experience or feel this way too. That guys can feel a little bit more comfortable.

sharing their experiences with it or talking about when they feel anxious or really not good mentally and just feel anxiety and it's not such a weird and you know uncomfortable topic for people to like have to skate around and act like they don't experience this because we do like we do and it would be weird not to honestly like it would be amazing if you didn't feel it'd be amazing if you felt great all the time but I doubt that's the case so let's get into it

And I saw a movie last week that really inspired this episode and is going to be like the framework for how I talk about it. And that movie is Inside Out 2, which really is not meant for me or it was not made for somebody that's 24 years old. But it resonated with me so deeply. And I think it's because they portrayed anxiety and the relationship between anxiety and joy.

Josh Felgoise (02:42.426)

so well, because I believe that one can't really exist without the other and they also can't really coexist at the same time. And I'll get into that a little bit more and why and how they did that and why they did that. If you don't know what Inside Out 2 is, it's a children's Pixar movie and it's a sequel to the first movie that came out in 2015 called Inside Out. And what they did in the premise of the movie is they made your emotions characters. So the main character is joy, there's anger, there's

disgust, fear, think. And then in this new movie, they added in boredom called Inui. I never even knew that it was called Inui, Inui, something like that. They added embarrassment and they added anxiety. And anxiety was like the main character of the second movie. And it was so real and authentic and exactly the way you experience anxiety.

And it like, it almost hit too close to home. Like I've never seen anxiety displayed as well as that movie did it. And like an anxiety attack or a panic attack, they just did it so well. And it was just basically by this character anxiety, like losing control and not being able to stop. And I'll talk more about that, but that, that movie inspired this whole episode because I think anxiety is something we don't talk about a lot.

Because it's very hard to talk about it. It's very hard to pinpoint or even explain like what anxiety is or why you feel anxiety or anxious or how to get out of it. And what I think they got so right was when the anxiety character said something like, I don't know how to stop or I don't know how to stop it. And that like when I was sitting in the theater, I was just like, I was like, that is exactly what happens when I experience anxiety or when I've experienced an anxiety attack or like a panic attack.

which isn't so often, but I happen to experience a lot of anxiety the morning I saw that movie. And it was probably the first time in a while where I had like an experience of anxiety to a level of like, I don't know how to stop it. And I don't know where it's coming from. And I don't know when it'll end. I felt like I saw that movie on the day that I saw it for a reason. Like that morning was the first time in a while when I experienced

Josh Felgoise (04:59.566)

level of anxiety that as I said like I really didn't or couldn't know how to didn't know how to get under control and I hope or think that me putting my Experience of anxiety into words, which was very hard to do I wrote it all out and I'll probably read a lot of it will hopefully be helpful to you if you experience anxiety or when the next time the next time comes that you do experience anxiety being like, actually that guy experienced it too and

It did end at one point. He did not know how to stop it when it happened, but it ended and he got over it and he got past it. So I'm going to run you through that whole experience. But back to what I was saying about the relationship between joy and anxiety in the movie. And I think this is the same thing as in real life. When one comes into the picture, the other one has to disappear or go away. And when anxiety is in full control and until you let anxiety take over and release and find a way to get it out or

let it pass over you and pass by, joy or happiness can't really come back into the picture. And that is exactly true of my experiences. I've had my fair share of anxiety, but I really do think I have it under control like pretty well. But like that's true until I don't, which was the exactly that morning. And you probably have experienced something similar with anxiety and

And I find it's like, it's present throughout my day all the time, but it doesn't take over a lot of the time. It'll come up in like a worry about something upcoming. It'll come up in so many different ways, like in an upcoming meeting, an upcoming interview, an upcoming plan that I have, previously that I did that I'm like regretting or like anxious about still. So it comes up in like past, present, and future experiences. I don't think it's an easy thing to put into words because everyone experiences it so differently.

They did such a great job making it universal. And that's what I'm going to try and do today with the experience that I had last week while also obviously making it like personal to me because it was my experience. So let's get into it. And by the way, if you had asked me, would I have ever made an entire podcast episode based on a children's movie? No, I wouldn't. But I saw this movie and this idea came to me literally right after I saw it. I was like, I need to tell you guys about it.

Josh Felgoise (07:05.068)

The movie inspired me to share my experience with anxiety. if that's all that did, or if that's what that did, that's incredible. That's an incredible thing, I think. So on that morning, I woke up thinking about a couple things. One thing that was worrying me, which was current, something I didn't and don't really have the answer to, and I'm consistently like battling myself over in my head. So that was one thing.

The next one was something I did in the past that I'm still annoyed at myself for doing like something I, when I tried to do the right thing and ended up getting me in a worse position. And I felt like one of those moments where like no good deed goes unpunished. Like if I hadn't done that thing, then I would have ended up in a happier place. And then the next thing was something that's coming up that I'm nervous about that I really shouldn't be. And I'm battling that back and forth of like, why am I so nervous about that? I really shouldn't be, and I don't need to be, but I am. And why am I? So those three things, like all kind of

came at a head the second I woke up. Like it was just they all rushed into my head and into my conscious and I was worried about the thing currently that I don't have under control, the thing coming up that I'm nervous about and the thing that I did before that I'm still thinking about ruminating over and I'm annoyed at myself that I'm still annoyed about that. You know, like I've that's that was the morning where all of that came at me at once and I really couldn't shake it. So

That's three prime examples for you. Something from the past, something from the present, and something from the future. All happening at once. And it felt like it was all, like, the way I describe it is it felt like all of those emotions of, anger and regret and nervousness and anxiety and, like, all of that came flooding at me at once and I couldn't stop it. And I couldn't get it under control and I just couldn't shake it.

And I ended up scrolling on my phone and like trying to like watch videos and just get it out of my head. And all the thoughts came back. And then I walked to the gym and I was like, okay, if I go work out and get some like, you know, like some physical activity and I get some movement in my body, like, I think it'll go away. And it went away for a little bit. And then it all came back. And then I left the gym and the thoughts stayed. And that for me, that usually works when I work out or I like go take a, like a long walk or something like that.

Josh Felgoise (09:23.606)

it all goes away or it all like kind of folds away. And I realized that moment that like that was going to be a day or a morning where I was not easily going to shake this and those were going to these feelings and these emotions were all going to persist throughout the day. And I just had to let it happen. And I went back home and I started working and it was like another distraction for a second. And then it all came back again. And then I went on my phone to try and distract myself again.

also didn't work, of course. And truly it felt like nothing was working. And I thought, well, I'm just going to remain here for the foreseeable future and just be like upset and in this like really weird headspace. And that is how I describe anxiety. I don't know if it's the way you describe anxiety. I don't know if it's the way you feel it. And I believe we all feel it really differently. But like that is how I experienced it that day. And honestly, like for those moments, like anxiety and sadness took over.

and ruminating on my past regrets and past things I've done took over and anxiety for how to handle a current situation and nerves for something coming up just could not shake. All of this was all so present and I didn't know what to do. And you know at one point it kind of felt like an anxiety attack or the way they showed it in the movie where the character anxiety just like spinning around and around and like can't get her shit under control and that is how I felt and like

It was a moment where like nothing was going right in my head and the way that I said like the trade off between joy and anxiety really felt true in that moment. Like joy could not be present because I was so anxious about all this stuff. So while anxiety was there and like really, really there joy or happiness or like positivity felt so far away. Like it felt other worldly in that moment.

And I am going to be honest with you, like I don't know how or why it went away, but eventually it just did. And that headspace or that mindset I was in for like that maybe couple hour period dissipated and faded away a little bit. Like there was no, there is no great tip or trick I can give you here. I have to give. really wish I did, but I don't right now.

Josh Felgoise (11:44.91)

But a couple hours ago, like it didn't feel as intense. It didn't feel as heavy and it all stopped weighing down on me so much and it started to fade like that scene in Avengers Infinity War when Tom Holland's Spider-Man says like Mr. Stark like I don't I don't feel so good and he like start the pieces of him start to like fade away and like the pieces of him start to like ash off into the air. That's eventually how I felt and eventually it calmed down and

All those thoughts disappeared. And I wish I could come here and tell you that I have a magic trick for dealing with anxiety or dealing with an anxiety attack or panic attack, whatever you want to call what I had that morning. But I don't. And to be honest with you, my day went on. I don't know why it went away. But a couple of things that I did do during that day that I think helped or I hope helped were

I went on a walk outside, like I just got more fresh air than I would have. I put on music that is really exciting to me and like gets me like pumped up. I called a friend. I also called a family member. And honestly, like the day just went on and life just took back over and there was room for joy again. And like it came back in. And that is where I thought the movie just did such a good job. Like joy had to wait for.

all the anxiety to pass or to come to the surface and then was able to step back in again. And there was no like amazing resolution for why anxiety stopped in that movie or why my anxiety stopped. And I think that is exactly like the way I describe it is like, I don't really know why it stopped or how it went away, but it all came to surface and I got it all out of me and then was able to let it pass by or pass over.

making room for positivity again. So I guess all of this to say is that eventually it passes and eventually life comes back in again and you gain your perspective back and you gain the ability to feel happy again and it doesn't all feel as heavy as it once did. And to be honest as I'm sharing this it all hasn't completely gone away like it's not like I can't come on here and be like I don't feel any anxiety anymore like that was a one-time thing no like

Josh Felgoise (14:04.13)

but not in the way that it takes over and makes me feel like it is the only thing present and that good things aren't coming ahead or good things aren't happening. like, it's a very weird feeling and it's weird saying it out loud. Like I don't want you listening to this to think I'm like not okay. I just want you to hear my experience and hopefully feel a little bit more comfortable knowing that I experienced that when you experience it or hearing that from me will hopefully make you be like, okay, like

Yeah, I had that too and like it's not that weird and it's okay not to feel okay all the time and like I'm coming to you now being like I feel really good today and I'm really happy and positive as you can hear in my voice but that day I wasn't and I'm not every single day and I don't expect to be every single day and when that stuff happens and when that does happen it's normal like it's a very

normal thing to experience anxiety and I haven't really been able to put it into words until this kind of like came over me that I was like, all right, let me write all of this out and write out the way that I'm feeling or the ways that I'm feeling and just like I really I literally did I wrote this out on an in pen and paper the three ways I was feeling I didn't share them with you exactly because I don't think that's like important or necessary and I want you to be able to put

your own individual experiences. Like I want you to be able to attach it to the way that I'm explaining mine, which is why I made it more universal and generic and said it's something from the past, something from the present, something from the future. Cause that is exactly how I felt. When I wrote it, I wrote like past and I wrote that past experience and I wrote the present thing and I wrote the future thing. like, to me, that was my anxiety that day. Like you probably don't experience it the exact same way or maybe that way at all. And it's totally different.

but if you do experience that, or if you are worried about something from the future, I recommend doing what I did and writing out the entire thought and being like, all right, now I have it on paper. Like I see it now that like my thought isn't just swirling around up here and like really like ruining my day. It's like a possession of mine. Like I, I see it and I know it and I doesn't have to hold so much weight, because you recognize it. I don't know if that makes

Josh Felgoise (16:15.818)

any sense or was like a big fat word salad, but that is how I dealt with it and a way that you can deal with it too. I'm not going to say it works and not, I don't know if it does, but it did help me. But like I haven't and don't really experience these types of, or this like wave of intensity of anxiety that I did that day.

And I don't know why I did, and I don't know when I will again or why I will again, but I am assuming it will happen again because it happened once. and it's good to know and it's good to come back to this episode or this moment for me to be like, I got out of it. It didn't stay forever and it won't stay forever. As I said all this to say, like, it went away. Eventually it faded and eventually it didn't feel as heavy and as burdensome as it did in that moment.

So the next time I'm feeling this the way the next time you're feeling a similar way or any way about like a situation and you feel so much anxiety that's really weighing you down, just know that it will pass by. It will move on and it will like go back to its shelf where it belongs. And then your optimism and your perspective can come back once that's away, but it will go away. It won't stay forever. And that's what I'm here to say about mine and my experience with it.

Anxiety is a pretty indescribable feeling and it's so different and personal for everybody and that's why I think it's really cool that I'm able to come on here and share my experience and my feeling of it with you. And it may not look like yours, it may not sound like yours at all, but I hope by sharing this you feel a little less alone next time anxiety comes back. I feel fortunate that I can...

put my experience into words, which I haven't really been able to do before, and share it with you here. And I hope you either resonate with it or can come back here next time you're feeling that way. So that is the episode for today. Thank you so much. Listen to Guy's Set, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. If you like this episode, I really hope you did. Please like, subscribe, and give this podcast five stars at the top of Spotify, Apple podcasts, wherever you're listening to this.

Josh Felgoise (18:29.686)

Send it to a friend, it to family members, send it to somebody you think would really like this episode or benefit from this episode or maybe just guys set in general. If you have any questions, anything we talk about that should be talked about, send to my email, josh at guyset.com, j-o-s-h at g-u-i-s-e-t.com or to my dms at the guyset, the guyset, t-h-e-g-u-i-s-e-t. And I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys.