The Rule of Thirds: Why Your 20s Feel So Confusing (And That's Completely Normal)

A 25-year-old's viral TikTok about post-grad confusion sparked thousands of comments from people feeling the exact same way. Here's why the "weird" phase of your twenties is actually right on track.

If you're in your twenties and feel like you have absolutely no idea what you're doing, you're not alone. A recent TikTok video from a 25-year-old named Jack perfectly captured this sentiment, describing how he went from being a college basketball player to someone who runs 17 miles on Thursday nights, has developed a sudden love for mustaches, and feels completely lost about his life trajectory — yet somehow remains happy.

The video resonated with hundreds of thousands of viewers, with comments echoing the same theme: "Post-grad is the weirdest stage of life," "No one prepares you for this part," and "I'm so happy we all have no idea what's going on."

Why Your Twenties Feel Like Emotional Chaos

The period from roughly 22 to 28 represents a unique life stage that nobody really prepares you for. Unlike college, where your path was relatively structured, or your thirties, when many people have established clearer routines and goals, your twenties exist in this strange liminal space where everyone is doing completely different things.

Some friends are getting married, others are traveling the world, some are climbing corporate ladders while others are starting businesses or going back to school. This diversity of paths can make you question whether you're on the "right" track, especially when social media amplifies the highlight reels of everyone else's lives.

The Rule of Thirds: A Framework for Emotional Balance

Business entrepreneur Emma Greed, who has founded successful companies and appears on Shark Tank, offers a powerful framework for understanding these fluctuations. She calls it the "Rule of Thirds," and while she originally applied it to business challenges, it perfectly describes the emotional reality of your twenties.

According to Greed's framework:

• One-third of the time, you'll feel genuinely happy and excited about life

• One-third of the time, you'll feel okay — not great, not terrible, just fine

• One-third of the time, you'll feel genuinely awful or lost

The key insight? This distribution is completely normal and expected when you're going through any difficult or transformative period — which your twenties absolutely are.

Reframing "Bad Days" as Normal Days

The power of this framework lies in how it reframes difficult emotions. Instead of thinking "Why do I feel so lost?" or "Everyone else has it figured out," you can recognize that feeling confused or overwhelmed is simply part of the one-third of time when things feel hard.

This doesn't minimize the difficulty of those feelings, but it does provide crucial context: you're not broken, behind, or doing anything wrong. You're experiencing exactly what you should be experiencing during a period of significant life transition.

The Danger of the "Always Good" Expectation

Social media has conditioned us to expect that life should feel good most of the time. When someone asks "How are you?" there's pressure to respond with "I'm doing really well!" even when the honest answer is "I'm okay" or "I'm struggling a bit."

This creates a feedback loop where everyone pretends to be doing better than they actually are, making you feel like you're the only one struggling. In reality, if you're going through a transformative period like your twenties, feeling unsettled one-third of the time isn't just normal — it's healthy.

Practical Applications of the Rule of Thirds

For Career Uncertainty

Some weeks you'll feel energized about your job and career path. Other weeks you'll feel completely lost about whether you're in the right field. Both feelings are valid and temporary.

For Relationships

Some periods you'll feel perfectly balanced between romantic relationships, friendships, and family. Other times these areas will feel out of sync or demanding in ways you can't manage. This ebb and flow is part of building adult relationships.

For Self-Confidence

Your confidence will naturally fluctuate. Some days you'll feel capable and excited about your future. Other days you'll question every decision you've made. Neither feeling represents the "truth" about your capabilities.

Getting Out of Your Head

One of the most challenging aspects of difficult periods is how loud your internal dialogue becomes. Sometimes it feels like someone else is holding the remote control to your thoughts, turning up the volume on anxiety, self-doubt, or confusion.

The antidote is getting out of your head and into your body or hands — through exercise, creative projects, conversations with friends, or simply acknowledging that today falls into the "difficult third" category and that's temporary.

The Importance of Talking About It

Men, in particular, tend to struggle with discussing these feelings. There's cultural pressure to have everything figured out, to project confidence even when feeling lost. But isolation makes the difficult periods much worse.

Having even one person you can be honest with — someone you can tell "I'm having one of those weeks where nothing feels right" — can provide enormous relief. Often, you'll discover they've felt exactly the same way recently.

Why This Stage Is Actually Valuable

The discomfort of your twenties isn't a bug — it's a feature. This period of uncertainty allows you to:

• Experiment with different identities and interests (like suddenly loving running or growing a mustache)

• Build resilience by learning to navigate uncertainty

• Develop authentic relationships based on who you're becoming, not who you were in college

• Make decisions based on your own values rather than external expectations

The Cyclical Nature of Emotions

As actress Keke Palmer noted in a recent viral moment, "The great thing about it is, as quickly as good times go, so do bad times." Emotions and life phases are cyclical. The periods of confusion and difficulty in your twenties are balanced by periods of clarity and excitement.

Understanding this cyclical nature helps you stay humble during the good times (knowing challenges will come) and hopeful during difficult times (knowing they'll pass).

Moving Forward Without Having It All Figured Out

The goal isn't to eliminate the difficult third of your experience — it's to accept it as part of the process. You don't need to have your entire life mapped out to be successful or happy. You just need to keep moving through the cycles, learning from each phase.

Your twenties are supposed to feel weird and uncertain. The fact that you're questioning things, trying new approaches, and sometimes feeling lost doesn't mean you're behind. It means you're exactly where you need to be.

Remember: everyone around you is figuring it out as they go, too. They're just not posting about the confused, uncertain parts on social media. But in comment sections, late-night conversations, and honest moments, you'll find that the vast majority of people in their twenties are having the exact same experience you are.

The weirdness isn't a problem to solve — it's a phase to navigate. And you're doing better at navigating it than you think.