What To Do On Valentine’s Day

Josh Felgoise (00:00.204)

Welcome to Guy's Set, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh, I'm 24 years old, and I'm here to find all the tips, advice, and recommendations for everything you're wondering about. Let's get into it.

Josh Felgoise (00:18.126)

Hi guys, welcome back to guyset, a guys guide to what should be talked about. This week, this Friday is Valentine's Day. So you are either excited about that, not excited at all about that, or completely forgot about that. And either way, whichever way you're feeling right now about Valentine's Day, this episode is for you. I'm gonna tell you about my Valentine's Day experience last year, and my Valentine's Day experience that I have planned for this year.

What I think you should do if you have nothing to do and you have no ideas for what to do my recommendations some ideas I have gift ideas ideas for the night for single people and people in relationships I'm going talk to everybody in this episode because Every Valentine's Day up until now except for one before I've experienced as a single guy and now this one I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend. So now I have Plans that I just planned as of like two days ago So I'm talk to you all

I have things to say to everybody in this episode. first and foremost, I'm going to tell you about my experience with Valentine's Day last year. And I arguably like committed the worst first date sin. Well, now that's not true. There's so many worse things you can do on a first date. So this is not nearly the first worst, worst thing you do on a first date. So many worse things, but like something you shouldn't do is go on a first date on Valentine's Day. And that is what I did.

Completely unintentionally, completely unintentionally, I did not know it was Valentine's Day and like, why would I? I was a single guy and I barely know that it's, I barely know my right from my left and I barely know it's Monday or Tuesday. So I made a plan like the week before with this girl from Hinge to go on a date. I think it was like a Wednesday last year, Wednesday or Thursday. It was a Thursday because this year it's a Friday, so Thursday. And on Tuesday, I followed up with her being like, hey, are we still on for Thursday? Like, see you at 7 p.m. whatever I said. And she was like, yeah, sounds great.

And when I sent that text, looked at the date and I was like, fuck, it's February 12th. I'm going on a first date with this girl on Valentine's Day. Like that is why would I do that? Like why would I set myself up for that monumental potential failure? Like the whole point of a first date, as I talked about so many times on here, is to get to know somebody, see if you like their vibe, see if you want to see them again, like just to just feel out the conversation if you like them, if they like you. And it's that's the whole point of it. Having the first date on Valentine's Day.

Josh Felgoise (02:42.52)

put so much more pressure on it because usually when get to a first date, you can look around and see other guys on the first date, also kind of like squirming in their chairs waiting for the date to arrive and like a little anxious. Maybe you see some awkward conversations. Maybe you see some like quieter conversations conversations and you're like, that one's not going well. And like that one's going well. And you can tell you can always tell when you walk by a first date. Maybe you're not looking as intentionally as I am at these people when you're walking around. But I for one am so especially going on a first date like I'm

that first five or 10 minutes when you're waiting for the girl to show up or waiting for whoever you are to show up to the date and you're sitting there waiting, you're like don't know to do. So you're like on your phone, you're just like looking around and you can always see like one other guy or so on the first date as well waiting for the date to show up. Cause most dates we're like, we're all the same. Like we're all like Sims waiting and doing the exact same things at 7.30 PM at drinks at the random cocktail bar that everyone goes to or the wine bar that everyone goes to.

So I set myself up for failure by going on a first date on Valentine's Day because when I got there, my five or 10 minutes early, I was waiting with all these people who were on love bird Valentine's Day. So people were holding hands, people making out. When I realized that, was like, I should probably get a flower or something, like a rose, just to be like, ha ha, it's Valentine's Day.

So I did, I picked up like one rose and I was like, I got this for you, like I just realized it was Valentine's Day, like I'm so sorry. And she was like, hi, thanks, that was sweet. And the date was fine, like it was one of those dates that was fine. Like I would describe it as it was a good date, there wasn't like a huge spark of connection. Like I probably would have gone on a second date. She responded being like, yeah, like I just don't know if this is like the right fit right now or yeah, I just like don't know if I'm looking for anything serious right now or whatever she said back. And.

That's totally fine and like those messages by the way like those messages are always hard to receive whether you had feelings for the girl or not whether you were super in love with this person or not and I wasn't like whether you Feel this connection and you're like I really want to go out with them again like I really see potential here like I'm so excited about this and they text you and say like hey I'm not I'm really not feeling it or hey like I'm not looking for something serious right now or Hey, like it was really nice to get to meet you or get to know you but I just don't see this going anywhere like

Josh Felgoise (05:06.444)

Whether you're in love with this person or you've just gone on a first date with them, like that message always sucks. Getting that text always makes your heart drop and will always suck. There's no way around that. Like that message always sucks. And there's no and if or but about it. So I'm just like recalling that now because I'm remembering that that sucked to receive. Even though I didn't feel this like intense connection or this like excitement around it.

It was a nice conversation and I was a single guy looking to go on dates and you know, like we all are. So it sucked to receive that. But again, I really felt like I set myself up for failure and I felt so much more anxious about the date because it was Valentine's Day. Usually I go into a date not so worried. I always have some sort of anxiety and a little bit of jitters about the date. This one specifically I was like, I...

I'm doing this on Valentine's Day. Like what the fuck was I thinking? And I'm sure she also thought that was weird too, but like she's a single girl too. Like she wants to go on dates and get free drinks too. So why not? So that's my first piece of advice. If you're a single guy, do not go on a first date on Valentine's Day. Like it just, you're around in the atmosphere of Valentine's Day. When you walk on the street, I live in New York City. So when I'm walking on the street that day specifically on Valentine's Day, like I saw hundreds of guys carrying flowers.

And like I have my little one flower like on my way to my first day like do do do do So don't tell yourself up for failure by doing that and don't make yourself more anxious and worked up by doing a first date on a day that like you know is the love day so that is what I remembered when thinking back to my Valentine's Day last year and What I would do instead if you're a single guy is like go out with friends like this year it falls out a Friday

which is a weekend and like it's just another Friday. So go get dinner with friends, go to the movies, go hang out with like your other single buddies and like forget about it. And you can go swipe on Hinge later. Just like take the night off, have fun with friends. And if you don't want to go out, like chill at home. Like it's really, it's just a Friday. You're not missing anything. It's all good and your time will come. And like by putting yourself out there and continuing to

Josh Felgoise (07:24.396)

try on first dates. Like I had to go through so many of those trials and tribulations of first dates. That girl is another good example. Like the amount of those that I went on before I found a girl that I really felt feel so connected with and connected to took so long and took like two years of mediocre, okay, bad, good, whatever first dates. That shit takes so long. So by putting yourself out there,

by giving yourself the opportunity to meet more people and giving yourself the opportunity to try and to experiment and to just be like, all right, I am gonna go in with this date. I may not end up with the love of my life after tonight. I may end up not liking this person. I may end up feeling like that was a waste of my time. It's never a waste of your time. It's all good practice. It's all leading you to where you're supposed to go and I truly believe that.

So if you're in that period of your life where you're not in relationship and you want to be, just remember all of that. Keep putting yourself out there. Keep putting those reps in. I think about this all the time and I compare this to like going to the gym. I couldn't do a pull-up, a singular pull-up a year ago today. Like I could not do a pull-up a year ago today. For the first time ever I did 10 in a row and that was like the biggest accomplishment for me of all time doing 10 pull-ups in a row and I tried again the other day and I...

could barely do like seven. So it was just, it was like a massive success for me. And by putting the reps in and by trying to do pull ups like twice a week, every week for the past year, like I've now gotten to a place I'm happy with it. So being consistent, putting yourself out there, trying, being willing to fail, like all of those things will lead you to the place that you want to get to. So.

That's my biggest piece of advice if you're in that period of your life and you really want to be in relationship or you really want to be going out and going on dates, just put yourself out there. Try. Message a bunch of people on Hinge. Shoot your shot at the bar even though it may feel weird and may feel awkward and you may not feel so confident in doing that. Try. The worst that happens in all of these scenarios and as I started this conversation by saying like the worst thing that happens is you get rejected or you get turned down or you get like passed over or passed on.

Josh Felgoise (09:43.714)

And that's okay. Sure, that sucks. And that rejection and that heart drop feeling you get when you receive the text that they're not as into it as you are or they don't want to see you anymore, that will always suck. But so does getting rejected by a job. So does asking for a raise and getting declined. So does asking for something and being turned down. You have to do all of that to get to anywhere. So what's the difference here? Just put yourself out there.

try. I did an episode of First Date Advice a little while ago. It's called 26 Minutes of First Date Advice. I highly recommend going back and listening to that one. I also had my friend Luke Lenny on and he talks about first dates and hinge and pick up lines and shooting your shot and confidence. I think that was a really good one to listen to. So there's a lot of episodes like in my roster of episodes about first dates and confidence. I want to find another one because I think I have a better one too.

85 frequently asked dating questions. I think that was a really good one, too. I put that one out on January 14th this year. So I have a lot of like dating advice, dating questions, dating conversations. I also put an episode out called My First First Date Mistakes or My Dating Mistakes. Let me find the exact title. And I put that one out in really terrible timing because I was just I just left seeing this girl and that was a mistake. It's called My Biggest Dating Mistakes. I put it out.

last January, January 23rd, episode 34. I just put it out way too close to a situationship ending. And I wouldn't like that either. So looking back, that was just bad timing. But I think it's a good episode and it talks about all of the mistakes I've made on dates, dating first dates for like 30 minutes. So I listened to that one too. Okay, so I feel like I've covered the single section. like the last thing I want to say on that is know that there are so many other

guys in that with you. Like my point of saying that look around when you're on a first date to see the other guys also like squirming in their chairs is to like know that we're all in this. Like we're all out here trying. We're all trying. That's that's it. And everybody's in so many different stages and phases of their life right now. Some of my friends are relationships. Some of my friends are single.

Josh Felgoise (11:59.554)

Some of my friends have been in eight year relationships, some in two years, some in like three, four month relationships like myself, some just getting out of a relationship, some on first dates, some not dating right now, some getting back into the dating game. Like out of all of my friends, there's a massive range of where everybody's at in terms of relationships and dating. And just knowing that and knowing that everyone out here, everyone is out here literally just trying should make you feel a little bit less alone at all.

this. I hope it does. I hope it makes you feel little less alone and all this. Not should because I can't tell you how to feel and I don't want to tell you how to feel. But I hope that makes you feel a little bit less alone in this dating game and in the world of trying to put yourself out there. So just know that everybody's feeling this way and comparing yourself to your friends and where they're at literally means nothing. You really don't know how anyone's feeling. You don't know

how anyone's relationship really is on the inside and what it looks like. So don't compare yourself to a friend just because they seem like they have it all together. And don't compare yourself to the friend who's having so much more fun than you and succeeding on a lot of dates. There's a huge range of success in this time in our life. Even the definition of success is such a funky, I don't think we can really define it right now. But if you're in that phase where

You're getting back into dating. You haven't done it in a little while and you're just kind of getting back on your rocker. Like just try just put yourself out there and know that someone like me has gotten those texts before has gotten a lot of those texts before that make your stomach drop and it's all part of it. It's all part of it. OK over to the people in relationships right now. If you OK so first and foremost I wrote down all of my tips for.

What I think you are like my recommendations for Valentine's Day. I'm pulling them up right now. First and foremost, decide on the plan that you want to have for Valentine's Day. So whether that's going out to dinner, whether that if you're you're planning to go out to dinner like you are so fucking late, my friend, like it is impossible to make a reservation. I tried last week to make a reservation and.

Josh Felgoise (14:24.27)

Where I am in New York, it's like getting a reservation is already super hard, but the restaurants for some reason made like tickets. So you have to get a ticket to a restaurant, which costs an obscene amount of money that I was like, no fucking way I'm paying for a ticket to go to a restaurant that I can go to next Tuesday for like a regular price. And I was also like, there's no, and the cancellation fees on some of these places were like $100 to cancel by like the 24 hours that you make the reservation. I was like, I can't commit to anything like that. Like no shot.

There was one reservation I saw that was $250 per person to like a private room in this cocktail bar. was like, why don't you just get a hotel at that point? Like, why would you do that? That's so stupid to pay $50 for like cocktails on top of that. The prices were insane. I luckily found a reservation at a place that I really liked going to at a time I was happy with, but like getting a reservation a week out was...

like war, was a battle finding a place. if you haven't made a reservation yet, I'm sure you still can. I'm being definitely dramatic. I'm sure you can find something. I'm sure you can also walk in somewhere if you want to go early. Good luck if you want to go out. But that's the first thing, like decide what you want to do if it's going out to restaurant, going out to like get cocktails or get drinks that I'm sure you can also find a place to do that too. If you want to make food at home. My one friend recommended making like heart shaped pizza. I like that idea a lot. Making something that like you

is easy to make and you both enjoy buying all the ingredients beforehand, setting it up. Definitely get her flowers. So it's Tuesday now, you have time to still get flowers. My one friend who's been in relationship for a couple years gave me the advice to not buy flowers the day of because it's impossible to find flowers day of. So definitely buy them the day before or if not, order them now, order them in advance ahead of time so they're ready and there for you.

but day of it's really hard to get. So definitely get flowers. Also I would say get like chocolates. Everyone likes chocolates. Just go to CVS because they have everything there. They have like a whole Valentine's Day section. They've had it for like two months. So get the chocolates, get like a little teddy bear or something like small that you think is cute that reminds you of her that you think she'll really like. A little key chain, like something small, something cute. I honestly think paying for dinner and drinks and getting the flowers, getting the chocolate is like...

Josh Felgoise (16:47.394)

Definitely more than enough for Valentine's Day considering that Christmas. This is my first time like in like a longer relationship like getting all that stuff It was really just Christmas like it was Christmas two months ago So we all spent a lot of money on Christmas gifts and now it's Valentine's Day But like so I really do think getting paying for dinner getting the chocolate getting the flowers is really more than enough If you want to get something else, I would say get like a little teddy bear. I made a whole gift guide I'm gonna walk you through that right now. This is a good time to do it

Here are a couple of the other small gift ideas I had. And this is all, by the way, on my website, guyset.com. This is exactly what I talking about when I wanted to include the visual element into the podcast part of it and why I think it's so important to have all of this combined. So on my website, guyset.com, you can find a blog post if you just search Valentine's Day, or it should be the first thing that comes up, that has all these gift ideas. So you can search them now. I'll walk you through them pretty quickly. But there's these things called warmies, and there's these stuffed animals that you can warm up in the microwave.

Tell me something a girl would like more than that. That is the most perfect gift, not too expensive. There's also a thing called a Nod Pod. It's like a thing for your eyes when you sleep. You can get like a silk sleep eye mask. My sister helped me a lot with all these recommendations. from a girl directly, I didn't just make this shit up out of the air. A heart waffle maker. There's a thing called a Road Lip something, R-H-O-D-E. Also Summer Fridays is a brand they like. A candle, there's a brand called Homesick. There's a bunch of other candle brands, Skinny Confidential.

There's a website called Love Pop. They have these really cute cards. They're kind of expensive. They're like 10 to $15, but you open them up and they have a pop-up art thing. One of them is the lava from that short, like, someone to lava. If you don't know what I'm talking about, search the lava short on YouTube. You'll love it. Slippers, blankets, silk hair ties. There's a thing called a claw clip that girls really like. Pajama sets.

Flowers, of course, I said there's a website called Venus at Floor kind of more expensive But if you're looking to splash out a little bit these flowers apparently don't die ever and they can just keep them in their room forever Disposable cameras like a nice flower vase or something. I found it on Amazon. That's like a flower book vase So if you she has like a favorite book, it's like a see-through Book vase the image would be more helpful than me trying to describe this for you I'm not gonna do that any justice a travel jewelry case a silk pillow case baked by Melissa has Valentine's Day cupcakes

Josh Felgoise (19:10.67)

Get her like cookies, whatever, like a sweet treat everyone likes. A bracelet if you want to get something really nice, a necklace. Ask her friend for recommendations or someone you know that she knows for like her birth sign or something to get a good bracelet or like a necklace or earrings that she'll like. As I said, do think that dinner and flowers and chocolate and all that is more than enough.

I also think experiences, I talked about this during the gift guides for Christmas time or holiday time, that experiences are really nice. So I got concert tickets for next Tuesday and I think that is a really great gift for Valentine's Day because it's an experience that both of you can have together. We both want to go to this concert so it's gonna be fun and I think that's a perfect gift in general. So that's all of my gifts and gift guide ideas. So now that you've made your plan,

You have, you're either having, going to dinner, making a reservation, or making food at home. And like, remember that this whole time, this whole day, is about spending quality time with the person that you love or your Valentine. So if you're like, stressed out about reservations or going out somewhere, like, don't do that. Take all the pressure off of it. It really should just be about having a great time with the person that you're in a relationship with and that's it.

So don't put too much pressure on finding a place to go out and spending so much money if that's not where you're at right now. You don't need to be there. They aren't gonna give a shit. I hope they don't give a shit. If they do care so much, they're probably not the right one for you. I hope they don't care that much and I'm assuming they won't. But if you put together a little plan, if you buy flowers and chocolate and do all these little things, that's so great. And that means that you're a good boyfriend and she will appreciate that so much.

So outside of that, everything else is a plus. That is like what I think everyone should do and I think will get you like all the brownie points you need. And like it's all about quality time. So put together the best quality time that you think you guys are gonna have together. It's truly about what you think you're both gonna like best. So like I can't tell you what to do, but I can just give you ideas for it. I also think it's a really nice idea to make like a signature drink. So even for both of them, like if you're going out or you're at home, pick like an alcohol. You can also make it non-alcoholic, mocktail or cocktail.

Josh Felgoise (21:28.686)

that you think she'll like like a Cosmopolitan or a Mosmopolitan I just made that up right now some sort of drink that you think she would like probably something like kind of fruity and Like splash out a little bit on like a fun cocktail that you guys can or cocktail that you guys can have Before you make the pizza or you make the food at home or before you go out I think that's also a really nice thing to do and sit and have like a little quality time Before you go into the activity meaning dinner or making dinner

So I think making a nice cocktail or like a signature cocktail is a really nice thing and preparing all of that before I Said flowers chocolate stuffed animals and then there's something small and the quality time So I think like that is what you should do for Valentine's Day or that's my not what you should do That's my recommendation for what to do for Valentine's Day if you're completely lost like I was last week and Like I think most guys are because we don't know what to do because nobody tells us what to do

That's what I'm here for. That is the purpose of this episode and that's my purpose of guys set in general to try and create a little bit of like a guidebook or just like directory of what to do if you have no idea. So that is what to do for Valentine's Day or that's my recommendation what to do for Valentine's Day if you're in a relationship. And I went through the gift guide or like the small little gift guide pretty quickly.

So definitely check it out on guyset.com. It's all there for you to see. It's much easier to see it than for me to, it's much easier to show than to tell in this scenario. So it's all there. I'm really happy the website's up and running that I can just have those available. Yeah, I think that covers most of it. It's a short and sweet episode for you. It covers if you are in a relationship or if you're not at this moment and my recommendations for both of those people.

And I hope you have fun if you're going out or if you're staying in and I hope it's a fun night. It's a Hallmark holiday at end of the day. So don't stress about it like it was a made up holiday for some people. It really sucks for some people. It doesn't. And for the people that feel like it sucks, try to reframe it because like again, it's just a Friday and know that like your thing is coming for you. Know that that relationship is coming for you and that

Josh Felgoise (23:46.604)

by putting yourself out there and continuing to try is the best possible way that something good will come for you and that you will find what is meant for you and you'll find the relationship that you want and that you're looking for. So reframe this day as like it's not like, I don't have that. Everybody's like, yeah, like I feel like I've been that way before too. And I've kind of been like, OK, everyone's having like best time ever. It'd be funny. And it doesn't have to be that way.

You can be happy for your friends and also like a little bit like, uh, but you also can be, uh, and also like, I'm gonna put myself out there more because that's only way to do this. And I got to take risks and I got to try. So that's the episode. Thank you so much for listening guys. That guys got to be talked about. I'm Josh, 24 years old now. I'm going to talk about what should we talk about for guys in the twenties every single Tuesday. If you liked this episode, I really hope you did. Please like subscribing to this podcast. Five stars. Leave review. That's one, two, three, four, five stars. Leave a review.

Check out my website, guyset.com for the gift guides for all this Valentine's Day stuff, for so much more content on all things guyset and everything new that should be talked about for guys in their 20s. If you have anything to talk about that should be talked about for guys in their 20s, send it to my email, it's josh at guyset.com or to my DMs at the guyset, T-H-E-G-U-Y-S-E-T on Instagram. You can also leave your questions, topics, anything on my website. There's a ask me anything submission box that actually works now. I've been saying that for like weeks, months technically.

And the website hasn't worked. And I tried the other day and it said error when I tried to a question. So I don't even know if you submitted questions or not. So if you did set a question before, submit it now and I will actually get it. It be sent right to my email. You can be anonymous. You can submit a fake email. You can submit a fake name like don't worry. You don't only think you to put your email or name in. So submit anything you talk about. Should we talk to our guys in their 20s? And I promise I will talk about it. That's what this podcast is built on. That's what that's what I love to do. And I love to actually provide value and answer the questions or topics or

not answer the questions, but give you recommendations and share my opinion and my perspective. Give tools, tips and advice on all these topics. That's the whole point of this. And it's not possible without you guys sharing what you want me to share on or give my perspective on or get somebody else to give their perspective and their advice and get tips on. So please share everything or share anything you want.

Josh Felgoise (26:05.354)

And I will talk about it. Thank you so much for listening to guyset a guy's guide to what should be talked about and I will see you guys have a nice Valentine's Day Have fun with if you're hanging out with your with your boys with your boys have fun with your boys Happy Valentine's Day, and if you're with your girlfriend happy Valentine's Day, and I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys