Commitment, Lifting, and Feeling Lost, Dear Guyset

Welcome back to another Dear Guy Set episode where I answer the questions that guys are asking, whether that's about a situation, a situation ship, a relationship, really anything you want advice on, and I answer them to the best of my abilities. I do these episodes every month, every third week of the month, and I

As always, I'm no expert. I am just sharing what I have learned so far from my own personal experiences and what I continue to learn alongside you and with you. Because I think there's a lot of value in that. I think there is a ton of value in like bringing to light or exposing the questions that guys want to ask or are wondering or are anxious about or thinking about or don't know where to find the answers to, and just like bringing them to the light and

Trying to answer them to the best of my abilities. I love doing these episodes for that reason in particular. And I think that it's one of the coolest ways that we as guys can know that we are not alone in all of this, that we know that there are so many other guys out there that have these questions, but maybe don't know where to find answers to them or have thoughts and concerns and anxieties and worries, but there really isn't a place to ask them. And

I think that this is a really cool way to do that. And I think I've provided a place for it. And these are questions that guys have asked that I've heard in my own life that I've had in conversation with friends or with guys and that I'm I've heard people talk about. And I just kind of combine all of that together and answer maybe like seven or ten of the best ones every month, or the may no not best, but like because there's no like best or worst question, but like the questions that I think will resonate most with people right now.

And I just love kind of opening the vault to all of the questions because before I started doing this, I didn't know where to find any real advice or or answers or really didn't know like who the answers were coming from. So I think there is a ton of value in this and I love doing these episodes. and I I like also caveating it by saying, like, I'm not an expert because I'm not ever gonna tell you this is the only way to do it, this is the one way to do it. It's just

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my advice. It's just one other guy's advice. And I hope you can use what I say or use a piece of it or a part of it to apply it to your own experience or like use it as like a another option or another perspective that you can kind of talk out talk out your thing with. And I think that's a cool use for this episode. I'm never going to say like this is the this is the way to do it. Like there's a million ways you can do it. And it's all it's always completely up to you.

I just think it's awesome to have another perspective or another opinion that you can like bounce yours off of. and chances are if you have a question, chances are if there's a question that you've had that you don't know where to find an answer to, like a million other guys also have that question. And I think that is the benefit of this, is that like I'm just talking about it all. So let's get into it. The first question is.

Is it weird that I want a relationship but also at the same time don't know if I'm ready to be in one?

I think this is probably a concern that so many guys have had or currently have right now. That they're talking to somebody, that they're maybe in some sort of like situationship or they're hooking up with somebody, but they don't know if they want to take it to the next step because they don't know if they're ready yet.

And what I've learned is that there's never going to be like a light up neon green sign that says like you're ready. Like now you can enter the relationship. Like now you're good. There's never gonna be that like blinking, flashing light that says you are good to go, like you may proceed. There's always going to be, I think it's maybe easier to refer to it as like a yellow, red, and green light. Like

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There's never going to be that green light that says, like, good, go. You you may now proceed. There's always going to feel like it's always gonna feel like you're in that like yellow phase, that you're in the middle ground. Like you're interested, you want something, but like you're not sure. You're not sure if it's gonna work, you're not sure if you're gonna be a good boyfriend or good in a relationship. You don't know if you're ready to be in a relationship. I have experienced this firsthand. I I did a whole episode on it, I believe I called it like commitment phobe, or like, how do I know if I'm ready to commit?

And I love that episode because it was just really fucking honest. I came on here and I was like, I have been seeing this girl for a while now and I'm really into her. I really, really like her. I just don't know if I'm ready for a relationship. And looking back at that episode, I'm so happy I have it as a part of this catalog. But like looking back at it, I'm like, there's never going to be a sign that says you're ready. That yellow light is never going to turn green.

There's always going to be a little bit of concern that holds you back, that makes you want to pause or stall or slow down. There's always gonna be like, how do I know if I'm ready? How could how do I know? How do I balance my friendships and this relationship? How do I balance work and this relationship? How do I know if this is the person I want to commit to? How do I know if I want to settle down? How do I know if this is like this is it? How do I know? How do I know? Is the overarching question. And I think.

It's completely understandable and very valid that you're feeling that way. Like I want to make sure you understand that that is a very normal feeling that I have personally had and I know so many of my friends have had as well. Like, how do I know if this is it? How do I know if she's the one? How do I know if I want to commit? And first of all, I would say to go back and listen to that episode, because I I think it's called How to Know If I'm Ready to Commit. And I really think listening to me in that moment, because that was like a very, very much so a moment in time for me where I was like,

And I I feel like I did have some solid advice in there to find a solution in there, but overarchingly I was just like, I'm in this. I don't know. And I think there's a lot of value in just being like, I don't know. I'm I'm I just I'm not sure. And knowing that there is somebody else that has been there with you and alongside you, and I'm telling you that now, but I I think going back and listening to me in that moment would would be really helpful. which I think is why it's so cool to have all these episodes and like have all these moments in time that you've been with me or that I've been with you through all of this. And

Josh Felgoise (06:44.835)

So many Tuesdays through the past three years where like there is just a it's a roller coaster of what I was going through or feeling or talking about. but what I would say to you right now, and from what I've learned, is that there's never gonna be something that says go and proceed. But if you like someone, if you're into someone, if you feel like there is that spark, if you feel like there's something right, you might as well try. You might as well give it a shot. There is no reason not to give it a shot, at least.

Try. Because if it doesn't work, if it fails, if you end up breaking up, at least you tried. At least you know that you've given it a shot. At least you leave that knowing you went into it with a full heart. You gave it your all. And I think that is probably the most important part too. Is that when you do decide to step into it, you step into it with both feet. You don't leave one foot out the door and one foot in. You you walk in the door with both feet. You say, I'm gonna give this a real shot. I'm gonna

Give it my all. I'm gonna put my whole heart into this and see what happens from here. You really have to fully commit. You have to dive in headfirst. You can't stick one foot in the water and be like, is it is it warm? Is it cold? You you just have to go. You just have to try. And I think if you're feeling that way right now, if you're even asking me this question that's saying you want to be in a relationship, but also not ready if you're sure you're not sure if you're ready to be in one, like.

I think you're ready. And I think if you're even having that question, if you're having those thoughts, if that's part of the way of thinking right now for you in this situation ship, in this hookup with whoever you're seeing right now, then you should go for it. Then you already know that you're kind of ready to go for it. And you just have to go head first. There's always gonna be a doubt. There's always gonna be a little bit of uncertainty or not sure if this is gonna be right, but there's only one way to find out. There is only one way to find out if this is right.

And you just have to try. You just have to lean in and you have to go for it.

Josh Felgoise (08:45.177)

And looking back at me before, like that's what I would have told myself. And that's what I would tell myself, and that's what I would tell you. The next question is my boss doesn't really notice my work. How do I change that without being annoying about it? That is a great question. And I feel like this is a question that so many people have, whether they're in an internship or their first job or their third job, like.

Every boss, every reporting structure is different. Every company you're in, the way it works is different. Like the flow of work in that structure is different. So you have to figure out the best way to work with that person or how they like to be presented or how you can present your work to them. But the important thing is that you are presenting your work. And

A lot of the time I think people sit back and wait for their boss to ask them and say, like, hey, they they wait for their boss to be like, what are you working on? Or what have you completed? And like that isn't gonna happen. Like there is no babysitting in the workplace, in the workforce, in your job. You have to be the one to present what you're working on, to share what you're working on. Like I think that is really important. I just did a whole episode

Called the intern survival guide. And it was geared towards somebody starting an internship or in any internship in general. But a lot of the advice in that episode applied to everybody who's in a job or in work or starting a new job. And one of the biggest things I said is that you have to, it's this honestly really great timing. You have to present your work and you have to get good at presenting your work. This is also advice that the

Previous CEO of Barstool Sports, Erica Ersbadan, gave me. She said that in order to get a promotion or a raise, like you have to walk in sharing the biggest things you've done and what impact they have had on the team or the company, and really prove and provide your value to the person you're asking. And I think again, a lot of the time, like we and I started off by doing this, we wait for somebody to ask us what we're doing or what we're working on.

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And it is completely in your power. It is not annoying to reference your question exactly. Like it is not annoying to be like, hey, this is what I'm working on this week, or this is what I'm gonna be working on. Like we we forget that like our bosses also have a job and their job is not just managing us or telling us what to do. Some bosses are. Some bosses absolutely are, but like a lot of the time our bosses also have shit to get do and get done as well. Like they have a full job to accomplish. They have somebody they're reporting to. They have to figure this all out for themselves as well. So

We have to step up and share what we're working on. And if you have a weekly meeting, like that is a great time to do it. You have to learn how to get good at sharing what you're doing and being like, and I think one of the best ways to do it is like maybe at the beginning or the end of the week, write out the three things you're working on or the three things you've worked on. You can send it to them, you can share it with them. A one-on-one is a great time to do that and be like, hey, I am working on this and this right now.

I'm gonna start working on this and this. Is there anything I can do to be helpful? Is there anything that I could do that would be more impactful? I think that what I'm doing right now is great, but I'm I just wanna make sure that there's nothing else that I could do that would provide value to you. That is a great way to frame all of it and make sure you're holding yourself accountable by being like, This is what I'm working on right now, this is what I wanna be working on, and this is what I will be working on. Like separating those three things maybe into like two or three categories is is a good way of framing all of this.

But it is it is on you to let them know what you're doing. And it's not annoying. Like you're not being annoying by telling somebody what you're doing. Actually, you're furthering yourself. You're proving your value and you're showing what you're doing. And it's only going to benefit you moving forward by doing that, by g getting good at it. Like really forget the fact that you feel annoying about it. Like this is work. This isn't a friend. This isn't somebody that you're trying to like flirt with. Like you this is somebody you're trying to impress.

And one of the best ways is to share what you're working on. Of course, you're not gonna do this every day. Like that that is the way it gets it gets annoying is by being like, Hey, I'm doing this and this. Like a weekly check-in, a midweek check-in. Like make sure that is the time you're doing it and really try and forget the fact that it feels annoying because it's important to do this.

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The next question is: I've been talking to this girl for three weeks now, and I have no idea where it's going. How do I bring it up without coming on too strong? This is also a good question. Great questions today. Thank you all for writing in for asking. Seriously, good dilemmas to be having. yeah, like they are. They are good. I was just like, can I say that? Yeah, they are good dilemmas to be having.

I think the best way to s do this is to just be like, hey, I really like you. Or I I really like the way this is going. I am I love spending time with you. I I've really loved getting to know you so far. No, that sounds like a breakup. Don't that one. I love getting to know you. I love spending time with you. And I'm really excited to continue doing that. Like I can't wait to see you again. I really like you. And and I just think like sitting down and having that type of conversation is never bad. Like there's nothing that's ever bad that comes from it. Like

If you've been seeing them for three weeks now, like it's almost a month, you're not coming on too strong. There's no really too strong here. Unless you're like, have my babies, like you're not gonna do that because you're not crazy. But I just think that having a a a more of like a sit-down conversation, whether it's over drinks, whether you're on a couch, whether you're at dinner, and just being like, Hey, I really like you and I'm really excited to spend more time with you, is a good way to gauge how they're also feeling. Cause their response to that is gonna tell you everything you need to know.

And if you're asking maybe if you like to maybe maybe I'm trying to read through the lines of this question, maybe you're trying to ask like if you want to be exclusive, I think then you can very much so say like I'm not seeing anybody else right now and I don't want to. Boom. Perfect. Also, their response is gonna give you everything you need to know from them. Like the line, I'm not seeing anybody else right now and I don't want to because I really like you and I love spending time with you. Perfect. Perfect.

All you need to say. I don't think it's coming on too strong. I just think it's admitting your feelings, it's being honest, it's being vulnerable. These are all things that guys can work on, these are all good things to do. it's a great way to actually share what you want and give her an inside look into your mind as well. Because odds are she's sitting on the other side of that table or at the end of the couch being like, Is he thinking the same thing I'm thinking? Does he like me back? Like.

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You're both sitting there being like, does this, is this like you're both thinking, is this right? Is this good? Am I coming under strong? Should I say this? Should I not? Like you're both kind of playing that like cat and mouse game at the beginning of any sort of relationship or start of seeing someone. So by sharing what you're feeling, you're also being like the first mover, like you're being helpful. And I I think that's a good thing because you're just like admitting how you're feeling, sharing what's inside and and

all of it and I I just think there's nothing bad that comes from it. and if her response isn't the same thing back, if she's not immediately like I feel the same way too or I also really love this and I want to keep doing this with just you. I'm not seeing anybody else. Like if it's not that immediately, that doesn't mean that it's not going to be in the next few weeks. Like I don't think you need just like I I can't like universally respond to any potential outcome or situation or response. But

If it's not her immediate response back, like that doesn't mean this is over and it was never good and there was never anything here. Like you just have to gauge it from there. You have to like move from there. Like move your chest piece, maybe your pawn goes back a spot, and then you move it forward again. But like you you it doesn't mean it's over, it doesn't mean it's ended. Just like be receptive to what she's saying. And if her response is, I'm not seeing anybody either, I love hanging out with you, then like you have your answer. That's amazing. but just like don't

panic, whatever the response is, and respond from there. Like you don't need to prepare anything. Just respond from the heart and and be honest and be real. but I think say something. If you're feeling that way and you're starting a relationship and you're you're really feeling strongly about it, say something. It it's you never know what's gonna come and it it could be really great and it probably will be really great. The next question is how did you start lifting? so you think I'm

Massive. I'm just kidding. I just did an episode on this. I'm assuming you're referring to maybe. it's called The Internal Monologue of Lifting. And I think that gives a good like look into my mindset around starting and around how I'm feeling about it now. Because even though I have been going to the gym for a while or I have been lifting for a little while now, like

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That doesn't mean that I'm completely great when I go there or I don't think about anything else or I think that nobody is looking or nobody that doesn't mean I'm completely like clear of all of that. And I think that the overwhelming feeling of like everybody's watching me or I have no idea what to do or like what the fuck do I do? Or where do I even start or how do I start? Like all of those things that you think about when you start going to the gym.

really can be overwhelming to the point of like being detrimental that you just don't even try or you don't even go over there or you avoid the section of the gym that you know is good for you but you have no idea what to do when you get over there so you just don't even try. And I think that one of the best ways to start and the way I started

was by asking somebody who worked at the gym just to be like, hey, I don't know what to do. And just like admitting that. First of all, admitting it to yourself, to be like, I don't know what to do. And that's not a bad thing because I don't think anybody knows what to do to start. And I know for a fact nobody's nobody knows what to do when they start. nobody's like born with an intuition of like this is maybe some people are, but I wasn't at least I can just talk to myself now. I wasn't born with that. So I th did what I thought would be the best thing to do. And I went up to the one of the per one of the people that worked at the gym and I was like, hey, I'm not sure what to do. Would you mind

Helping me out, like letting me know what I should start doing, or maybe writing up like a day or two of lifts or or moves or exercises that I should try that I can that I can follow. And ended up being a great conversation. He was like, Yeah, like what are your goals? What do you want to do? What do you want to see for yourself? Where do you want to be in six months? And it was kind of like like a work talk at that point, because it was, it was just like a goal setting thing. It was, it was

A cool way of like framing the my my purpose at the gym, like what I was trying to do. And I think you can do that with yourself too. You can ask yourself, like, what are my goals? What do I want to do? And if the goals are to get bigger or to be stronger or to feel stronger, or for your mindset, or for your body, or to get a six pack or whatever your goal is, like it it it's totally up to you and it's totally personal at the same time. Like

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Whatever your goal is, just be clear on that and admit it and be honest. What whatever the goal is. If the goal is to get bigger arms or to get abs, like great. Those are good goals. That's an amazing thing to set for yourself. Like, incredible. Those are goals I have for myself. I'm just like speaking from my goals. and it's great. Like it's it's great to want better and bigger things for yourself. but starting there is the best place, and then going to ask somebody and that works there or

Going on YouTube or going online, like or going on chat. Like we have the whole world at our fingertips. All of these resources and assets and things that we can find and like there there's no reason that we don't know what to do. But one of the biggest things I think people do, one of the biggest mistakes people pee people make is they start too heavy, or they start like because they just wanna look bigger or they wanna feel bigger, or they are worried about what everybody's gonna see, or they're worried about the perception everybody else has of them when they're at the gym.

So they lift too heavy, start small, like really start light. I think that's one of the best pieces of advice I have about but piece best be used pieces of advice I have about lifting is to start light and start small and then go from there. Because I promise you will build, I promise you will end up lifting heavier, you will get stronger, but you have to start somewhere and everybody has. The next piece of advice I have on this is to get yourself in the area. Put yourself in the place to do the work.

This kind of applies universally. Like you can't do anything if you don't actually put yourself in the place to do it. You can't end up accomplishing anything if you don't put yourself in the place to start. So you have to start somewhere. And that means you have to walk yourself over to that section of the gym that either scares you or you're not sure about or you don't know what to do when you get over there.

And just start i pulling up a YouTube video, Googling what to do, asking somebody around. You probably aren't gonna want to ask somebody around, but you totally could, something that anybody can do. And I think most people would be totally h fine to help you out or ask somebody that works there, be like, hey, what do I do? Like I think most people know how to do curls or chest press or all that stuff, but start light because you don't want to get injured early and and not know and then end up like hurting yourself. That's the biggest thing you want to avoid. So that's why it's important to start light or start without weights at all.

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And just focus on yourself. Another thing that like we're all thinking about so much is how everybody views us and how everybody perceives us. Nobody is worried more about themselves than you are. And that applies to you and everybody else, the gym. Nobody is more focused on themselves like than themselves. Does that mean nobody is more focused on themselves than them? Like they are only really worried about them. For the most part, everybody just wants to get into the gym. They want to do their workout, do their routine and get their lift in.

They're probably on their phone texting or on TikTok for most of the time anyway, between sets. Like nobody really cares about anybody else when they're there. They're just focusing on themselves. They're just worried about themselves. And if they are, like that's not your it that doesn't matter. And we have to remember that. It's an important thing to remember when you're going there, that nobody is more worried about themselves. But am I saying that wrong? I'm trying to, you know what I'm trying to say? Like nobody is more focused on themselves than themselves. What am I?

You know what I know I'm trying to say? Like, nobody is thinking about you more than them thinking they're thinking about themselves. That's it. Nobody is thinking about you more than they're thinking about themselves. They are only focused on themselves. And that is kind of like the end-all of it. Like they are everybody else just wants to think about them and their workout and how they look and what they're doing. And really try to remember that when you're there. Like

Don't worry about what everybody else is gonna see or what they're gonna say. Like who gives a fuck? And I know that's hard to wrap your head around it first. And it's it's a it's a hard mindset to put yourself in. I actually did one an earlier episode on like the ego of weightlifting, I called it. I think it was like episode 98 or something. and I I talk all about this because I really felt like like an imposter at the gym. I was I have no idea what I'm doing here, I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing here, and I don't think I belong here. And

I I similar to what I was saying about the commitment episode. It was another one of those where I just got on here and I was like, I don't know what to do. But I think there's value in just sharing that. And I think it'll make somebody else feel less alone in the fact that they also have no idea what they're doing. And it did. And I think that was one of an one of my early favorite episodes I did where I I was just completely honest about the situation and I was like, I don't know what to do. But the the thing is is that you have to start somewhere.

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You have to put yourself in the place to even get started in the first place. So you have to start somewhere, you have to start light, and there's no reason not to start today. Just put yourself in the place to start and go from there. Ask for advice, ask for help, Google, YouTube. There are so many resources you have every single day, every single moment at your fingertips about what to do. And start today. Like there's there's no reason not to. Take it from me, somebody who spent so long.

Avoiding that section of the gym and wishing I had done it earlier. Like if there was one thing I would have done differently about working out is that I would have just put myself in that place earlier and like smacked myself over the head and been like, nobody gives a fuck. Like nobody's looking at you. Nobody cares about you. So just try. And I wish I had just started sooner because my progress would have been a lot better than it is now. But I I'm really happy I finally did start. And that's to say, like, there it's never too late to start. It's never too late to put yourself there.

and you'll progress from there. Like it you you just have you have to try.

And I guarantee you're gonna feel better by the way. Like lifting, like what it has done for my mindset, for my body, for physical, mental, all of it, like has i i I can't even like put it into words. I I couldn't recommend it more. I think that if you're a guy considering starting lifting, wanting to, like dabbling in it, like you're that kind of like that one foot in, you're like, I don't know, like should I try because I I

Promise you're gonna feel so good about yourself. And I I I I want that for you because I've I've gotten that for myself and I I know what it's done for me, so I know what it can do for others. the next question is Is it normal to still have no idea what I'm doing? Abso fucking Lutley, it is normal to have no idea what you're doing. I think I would go as far to say that I don't think anybody knows what they're doing completely. I don't think there is one person.

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Who is 100% certain and sure of what they're doing at all times or what they're going to do or what they're doing, any of it. Honestly, I feel like this is like the defining feeling of this decade of our lives. Like the feeling of I don't know what I'm doing, or I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing, or I don't know what to do. And I think like this time in our lives is fraught with transition. Like every few years, it feels like you go through a really big

Transitional period in your life, whether it's a new job, or it's a new relationship, or it's a new city, or it's a new apartment, it's a new whatever. Like it just feels like this time is continuously filled with transitional moments after college, maybe even into your early 30s. And you're also met with the like your friends are doing different things, or some friends are finding a lot of success, or some are finding less success, or some are this or some are that, or like.

Some are over here, some are there, some are some people are in full-blown relationships or getting engaged. Some people are starting a new relationship, some people just got out of relationship. Like it just, it's a consistent, continuous, like what the fuck is everybody doing? Is like the best way I could say it. And it is completely, entirely 100% normal to not know what you're doing right now. I think that everybody is feeling that way. And I think that,

One of the helpful things about not knowing what you're doing or that feeling is that like what goes up must come down, which means that what's down must go up at some point. That if you're feeling this way right now, you're not always gonna be feeling this way. If you don't know what you're doing, at some point you're gonna figure it out and it's that's gonna go back up. And that may go back down again. And you might also be like, I lost it again. I had it and I lost it. I had it and I lost it.

And I think that that's okay too. But I think knowing that at some point you're gonna figure it out, knowing that you have the power, the capability, and the ability to figure it out is a way to kind of like ease the tension or the denseness of the feeling of I don't know what I'm doing. Knowing that at some point you're gonna figure it out. Sometime soon you're gonna figure it out.

Josh Felgoise (28:58.415)

Because everybody has before you and everybody else is seeming to. And a lot of the time we're comparing ourselves to everybody else who seems to have it more figured out. So if they did, that means you must be able to at as well at some point soon. I think that it's it's hard. And I remember so many moments in these past few years, even these past few weeks, where I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing at the same time. I also feel like this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.

And I feel like those two things can't exist without each other. Like there are so many moments, even in this, yeah, in the past week where I be I I think to myself, like, I feel so good in what I'm doing. This is exactly where I want to be. This is what I've always wanted to do. And other moments where I'm like, I have no fucking clue what to do. Like, I have no idea what I'm doing. And both of those feelings are lightened by the fact that I know one can't exist without the other. And that's the best advice I have about this, is that.

What goes up must come down, what goes down must go up. And you're gonna figure it out one way or another, and you're gonna grow stronger for it and get more confident because of it. Yeah, that was good. The next question is, is it no, they just did that one. I want to start a side project, but I come home exhausted literally every single day after work. How do people actually do both?

I feel like I am well equipped to answer this question because for a really long time I had a full-time job and was doing this at the same time. And it was really fucking hard. Like I'm gonna be fully honest with you. It it really is very hard. I remember a after graduating, I remember like one night it was like nine PM and I was on a walk after like a really overwhelming day.

And I was like, I actually have no idea how people do it all. Like, how do they go to work and deal with everything they they did at they dealt with at work, like the annoying boss or the thing you had to do or the thing you still have to do that's like completely top of mind and is never going away and it feels like this really big thing you have to get done. And make time to go to the gym.

Josh Felgoise (31:14.864)

And make dinner and eat healthy and go on dates and keep in touch with your friends and make plans with your friends and keep in touch with the friends that have moved away and call your mom and talk to your siblings and call your grandpa and call your grandma and d I choked, sorry, and do laundry and do like all of the things you wanna d and and keep up with your passions and your hobbies and work out and play sports and do everything you wanna do in life like and watch movies and TV shows and keep up with all of that shit. Like how do you do it all?

How it it feels impossible. And to make matters worse, before like COVID, they would be in person five days a week. How the fuck did they do it all? So if they can do it all, how we must be able to do it all, but it still feels like we can't. And I remember that feeling so vividly in the first few months after college of being like, I don't know what the fuck to do. I don't know how they did it. I don't know how I'm gonna do it. And yet I figured it out. Like, and yet I figured it out. And I think that in order to

Do a side project or have a side hustle or follow that passion and do it on top of having a full-time job. It's just that. You have to be really passionate about it. Like you hear CEOs and entrepreneurs and all these people talk about like you have to be passionate about it. And that is the truth of the matter. Like it has to be something you care about because if you care about it, you will make time for it. And if you say you don't have time for it, odds are you don't care about it that much.

Because if you care about it, you will make the time. Like replace I don't have time with I don't care and see what that changes. Because if you do care, odds are you will figure out how to make the time. You will come back from her from work regardless of how exhausted you are, regardless of how overwhelming the day was, and still make time, at least an hour or two to do the thing.

You will carve out the time to do it on Saturday or Sunday or in the morning or during your lunch or whenever you can, because you care so much about it, you're so passionate about it, and you have to do it. You're drawn to do it. It feels like your purpose. It feels like this thing you can't live without. And that is the only way to do a side project or a side hustle while balancing a full-time job. Because otherwise, the exhaustion, the

Josh Felgoise (33:33.794)

Tiredness, the I want to sit on the couch and put my hand in my pants and eat popcorn and watch TV and like eat chipotle, like that will take over because that is how it feels when you're like in a full-time thing. You're like, you come home and you're like, my God, like I don't know, I don't have anything, I have nothing else to give. And you still want to make plans and go to the gym and do all the other stuff and do laundry and eat and cook and like be healthy and and all the other shit. and call your mom. So it feels impossible, but

If you care, you will get it done. Best advice I have for you here is replace I don't have time with I don't care and see how that changes what you do or how you act.

That is the episode. Those are the questions for this week and for this dear guy set episode. Thank you so much to everybody who wrote in. Thank you so much for submitting your questions. I hope what I said or what I shared, the advice I gave is beneficial, can contribute to whatever you're thinking about or feeling, and is at least helpful in considering what to do or or how to act or

what to do next. I think it's always helpful to have somebody to like bounce your ideas off or at least hear how somebody else thinks about it and and use that to inform your perspective or what you do next. and I hope this was helpful. I love doing these episodes and you can always write in it's just at guyset.com, g-u-y-s-e-t dot com. There's an ask me anything right there. You can ask me anything and it will be included in the next Dear Guy Set episode, which will be a month from now, every third week of the month.

That is the episode. Thank you so much for listening to Guy Set, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh. I'm 26 years old, and I'm here every single week, every single Tuesday, to talk about what should be talked about for guys. If you like this episode, I really hope you did. Please like, subscribe, give this podcast. Five stars and leave your thumbs up to you five stars, not four, not three, not two, not one. It's five stars. Thanks so much, and I really really appreciate that. As I said, if you have any questions, anything you want to talk that should be talked about, head over to guyset.com, g-u-i-s-e-t.com.

Josh Felgoise (35:38.05)

There's an ask anything right You can ask me anything we want to think to be talked about, and I will be sure to include it in the next year guys episode. there is also at least four new blog posts a day on guyset.com across dating, confidence, comparison, style, mindset, what to do, what to say, every stage of dating. Like there is

So many blog posts that answer all of these questions. It's like an extension of what I do on here over there. It's like the guyset universe expanded. And it's just another form, another way to get advice and opinions and perspectives. And I'm really happy and excited about what I'm building over there. So check that out. if you have any questions, it there I'm sure there is something that can help you out or at least give you some advice.

You can also check out my other podcast. It's called If You're Going on a Date This Week, where I do every Monday and Thursday, I talk about what's going on in the world in terms of music, movies, TV shows, pop culture, entertainment, sports, really anything going on in the world that you talk about on your date. It's a great way to get conversation starters and kind of like what to talk about on your date or with your coworkers, with your friends, with whoever you want to talk about it with. That is the episode. Thank you so much for listening to Guy Set, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. And I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys.