What a Difference a Year Can Make

Josh Felgoise (00:00.204)

Welcome to Guy's Set, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh, I'm 24 years old, and I'm here to find all the tips, advice, and recommendations for everything you're wondering about. Let's get into it.

Josh Felgoise (00:17.902)

Hi guys, welcome back to Guy's Guide to what should be talked about. Whenever I am home for, I don't know, a holiday break or this past weekend was Thanksgiving break, I ride our Peloton bike a lot that I have at home and it's one of my favorite things about being home because it's my favorite workout and I've done it for like, I don't know, probably the past 10 years, is really, maybe nine or 10 years, which is really crazy to think about. And it's been the quickest way that I have been able to find confidence in myself and in my physical abilities.

I'll talk about that more another day, like there's a reason I'm talking about this right now. I've just grown so much stronger and stronger physically and even I would say more so mentally because of those rides and because of those workouts that I do whenever I'm home and that I did throughout high school and whenever I was home from college and those workouts just were like a really consistent way for me to come back to my mindset and

get back to the place I wanted to get to and just find confidence in myself. And one of the things that, my favorite instructor, Robin Arzone said in a ride I just took was what a difference a year can make. Like think about the radiator is hissing. I don't know if you can hear it in the background, but there's like, I just discovered that my radiator is leaking and like there's apparently a flood in my apartment, but, that's what we're dealing with today. So let me just try and fix that sound one second.

I don't even know what I just did, but I turned a knob and then some water, some more water came out. I'm not a plumber. And there's a reason for that. And I hope I didn't just fuck it up worse, but I think the sound is gone. So that's what matters. The floor is like flooded with water and I'm just like, but the sound is good for my podcast. My room is like, what the fuck? Anyway. OK, so one of my favorite things, my favorite instructor said a few days ago was what a difference a year can make.

And I thought about that a lot. thought about that sentiment a lot. And I was like, that is such a such a good point. Like what a difference one year can make when you're consistent in something or when you actually put your mind to something and believe in yourself and spend every day or some time every single week putting your mind to something and trying to make it happen. What a difference a year can make. And it just made me think back to my last November and where I was then and where I am now and how much further I've come.

Josh Felgoise (02:38.914)

because I believed in myself and because I found confidence in myself in a couple different places and stuck to the things that I wanted to do and just was really consistent with the things that I wanted to try. A couple things, not everything. A lot of things I was not, but a couple things I consistently kept on doing and just believed in myself that I could do. And setting a goal and sticking to it and finding ways to stick to it.

is incredibly hard. It's not easy at all, especially when we have so much other shit going on and we have day jobs and other things to keep up with and social lives and keeping up with your family and staying consistent and like relationships and like there's a lot of other things that we have going on that make it really hard to make our goals come true or make our goals possible or at least one thing and consistently make it happen every day. And that's what I want to talk about today and taking some time to reflect on

the last year and what we've all done in the last year. And this usually comes up at the new year, like December 30th, 31st, January 1st, 2nd, with like New Year's resolutions, New Year's goals. And I kinda like the idea of starting it early and starting at the beginning of December and looking back at the year while we're still in it, like while there's still time within the year. Like the year's not over just because you didn't get to do something you wanted to do.

doesn't mean you still can't do it. Like we still have this whole month and just because you didn't do it, doesn't mean you can't start today. Like we hold ourselves these really high standards when it comes time for new year resolutions. We're like, I'm to do this, this, this, this, and this. And then we up doing none of it. So what I want to talk about today what I want to do today is look back at this year and also think about one thing or one or two things that you can do and that I can do within the rest of this month, within December.

and kind of take it as like a practice run for the new year and take one thing at a time. So first I want to start with reflecting on the last year. What are the things that you really wanted to do this year that you actually did? Maybe take a second or two to think about like one thing or two things. I'll give you a few seconds. I don't want to leave too much dead air, but I'll give you a few seconds. I hope you can't hear the radiator hissing in the background.

Josh Felgoise (04:50.872)

And then what are some things that you didn't get to? And take a second and think of the one or two things that you didn't get to that you wanted to do.

Okay, I like to phrase it as didn't get to instead of forgot missed messed up because it's not a it's not like a mark on your report card It's not something that like fuck like I didn't do this So like I'm doomed forever like I didn't do this So like I'll never be able to do it and I like to look at it as it's not that you didn't do it It's now an opportunity to try again and start again with it And I have a couple of those I'll tell you about those too But if you're somewhere right now if you're walking or sitting or just like wherever you're listening to this

And you have the ability to like take out your phone notes app right now if you're like on the go or if you want to take out a pen and paper and find some scrap paper rip something off of like I don't know whatever's around you and write down like one or two things you wanted to do this year and you actually did and then one or two things that you wanted to do but you never you didn't get to not that you never got to you didn't get to and if you're I don't know driving or showering or whatever you're doing

You can do this later, you can do this after the episode or after you get out of the shower or when you get out of the car or wherever you are. But I think it's important to actually write these down so you can actually look at your goals and look at the things that you did or wanted to do and then you actually are gonna try again to do this month. So if you can right now, write those down or type it out, there's no better time than now to do it. And if you're in a place that you can't, just do it after, that's fine too. And I think you'll feel one or two ways by doing this. You'll either feel successful or productive.

successful because you'll look back and see what you've actually accomplished or productive because you're now setting yourself up for future success or success soon and trying to do this and even if you don't actually do it it's still successful in trying to do something and believing in yourself enough to actually try it and give yourself a chance or take a chance on yourself. So a few examples and this could be like a one-time thing or something that you do consistently but like one two or three things.

Josh Felgoise (06:49.954)

So a good example of this could be, really wanted to put myself out there more, so I went on more dates. Or another example could be, I left the job I hated and I finally started looking for a new one seriously, instead of just kind of scrolling and saying I'll do that later. Taking the chance on yourself and leaving it for something better. It could be something like, I wanted to learn how to type with all of my fingers, which is one of my goals and something I didn't actually get to this year and I'm gonna try again to do.

It could be something like I finally started to budget better. I finally took the time and actually got my finances in order and figured out what I was spending on drinking out or eating out and finally took the time to do that and gave myself the time and the space to really focus on that. We all have very different goals and different things that we want to set out to do. And I believe that goal setting and actually writing those goals out or typing them down and looking at them, being able to look at them is the easiest way to actually get started on.

Everybody starts from somewhere and you need a place to start from you need somewhere to actually look at and be like, okay Here is my starting place. You need a starting place to go from and grow from So what is your starting place and where do you want to go? Sorry feels like I'm screaming I feel like I've just been like shouting at you for the past ten minutes But I feel like I'm trying to talk over the radiator and then I got really into this So I'm sorry if I am screaming. I'll try and talk a little quieter and more normally But what was I saying? I was saying that

The difference a year can make is really unbelievable when you actually set a goal and put your mind to it. So now that you've looked back on the past year, or you either will shortly, looked back at the past year and thought about one or two things that you wanted to do and you maybe did, or one or two things that you wanted to do but you didn't actually get to yet, it's time to look forward and plan for something new.

What is something that you want to do this month that you can actually look back on at the end of December and be like, hell yeah, I actually did that. It doesn't have to be big and it doesn't have to be small. Like it can really be whatever you want it to be. gave four pretty broad examples of what this could be. It could even be like, I want to how to dress better. I want to start drinking more water. I want to get more sleep. I want to go to bed earlier. That's another one of mine. I want to network more and try and make more connections at work. And I want to have set up more coffee chats at work and

Josh Felgoise (09:09.758)

I to get a raise. want to get a promotion. I want to launch a business. I want to buy a new jacket. I want save up to buy a new jacket. I want to start learning how to play golf or tennis or pickleball. Like whatever it is. I want to eat healthier. I want to start meal prepping. I want to call my mom more. I want to cook more at home. I want to stop eating out as much. Like these are all very good goals. just giving examples.

doesn't have to be that at all. doesn't have to any of those. It could just be, I'm just trying to give a bunch of different examples and random things that you could be thinking about or wanting to do. The easier part is thinking of what you want to do and then saying you'll do it or writing it down. The hard part is actually executing on it. So pick one and start with that now. This month, before the new year that you will actually try to execute on within this month, whether it's every day or once a week, take five minutes every single day or take

I don't know, an hour once a week to do it, whatever works best for you, whatever floats your boat to actually get it done. But pick something that you think will be beneficial to your life or helpful for your everyday and start this month before the new year comes. I'll share a few of mine with you to give you some more examples. And I actually started with two of them today, but I want to just say before I go into these, that these are goals, not an assignment. So there is no failing. There is only improving.

You can't go down once you start. You can only slow down or go up. Like those are really the only two options for what can happen once you start. Once you've started, you're already way ahead of where you were before in terms of that goal or in terms of that thing you wanted to do. So there's no going back. There's no going down. can stop and slow down for a second, but you can't go back down. You can only go up.

So a few of my goals, here's six I'll share with you and I'll tell you which two I started with today, because I wanna make it feasible and actually like realistic to make them happen and six goals, six things I wanna do is a lot. Like I'm gonna probably take one or two each month and if they feel like they're actually working or I feel like I've set the right systems in place to make them happen.

Josh Felgoise (11:22.574)

Then I'll add on another one or I don't and the next one and the next one but like until I get the with a one or two I probably won't add on another until I've until I feel secure and comfortable in that one So the first one is not checking my phone first thing when I wake up in the morning Because that has become a really terrible habit for me and I know I've talked about that in previous episodes, but I have absolutely relapsed into that and just like literally right when I wake up or what right when my Alexa alarm goes off I like

Roll over and before I actually even open my eyes like I like grab for my phone and I open my eyes at the same time as my phone and It's a really bad habit like I'm kind of embarrassed to admit it, but like it's true I've been doing that a lot and I'm immediately scrolling to like Instagram and tik-tok and snapchat and texts and email and slack and like everything like before I even put one single thought together and it's really becoming a big problem because I'm it's just I'm staying in bed for longer than I want to and I'm kind of just like prolonging my morning and my time in bed and I'm

pushing my morning back and I'm just taking more time in morning than I need to. And I also just feel like I haven't even put a thought together before I've like responded to all these people or like read my email or read a work thing. it's it's a, it's too much. And it's, I just feel like it's really bad for me because then I get really overwhelmed and anxious before I've even actually gotten out of bed. And that is a habit that I am desperately trying to break. And I started today.

And that's a I think this is a great example of like one that you can start with today and I'll tell you the systems I've put in place for that to I'll get back to that in a second. I want to you the rest of the goals number two is getting faster at typing and actually type with all my fingers. It's been something that I've been trying to do for a while and I did consistently take like typing lessons online, but then I fell out of it and I'm back to where like I'm kind of back square one actually type with like three or four fingers now, which is an improvement, but not where I want to be. So I'm going to go back to like

Implementing five minutes a day of taking a typing class. I think that was really helpful for me And I actually did get a lot better at it But it's something I need to do consistently to get to where I want to be with it So I'm gonna like literally calendar in my day five minutes in my work schedule and if obviously if it was like a slack or an email or something I need to respond to I'll I'll move back those five minutes, but I do think that's really important for me and like work in general so if I ever got shit for to work, I'd be like

Josh Felgoise (13:36.046)

Don't you me be more productive? I don't think anybody listens to this, but if they do, it's for my productivity. It's a flexible five minutes, but it's something I'm gonna start doing five minutes a day of to be consistent at it and get better at it. And that's example of something that you really do have to do every day to get better at. It's kind of like learning a language. You can't really miss two weeks and then just expect to be back to where you were before unless you're really good at it. I don't know, I'm not. So I'm back to like four fingers. That's another one.

Three is learning how to play guitar. I've also talked about that one before and I've totally fallen out of that. But that's more of like a passion or something that I just would like to do. It's not a necessary or a need, but something that I really want to get back to. Four is reading before bed. Similar to waking up and checking my phone, I also spend a lot of time at night looking at my phone in bed or right before bed. And I think that's also just not good before I go to sleep. So I'd like to read more before bed. Five is getting better at video editing and that's for my work and for...

personal life and like this podcast and everything. And then six is more of like an all encompassing goal, but focusing on one thing and one task at a time, instead of multitasking, I've gotten into a really bad habit of multitasking at work and in my personal life. And I feel like I'm worse at both things when I do that instead of just focusing on one. So that's something that I really want to work on as well. And I think the most important part about goal setting is actually setting up

ways to make them happen. Deciding what you want to do and then how you're going to do it. What are the ways you're actually going to make the goal happen? What are the ways that you're actually going to change the things you do in your day to make those goals come to life? So you'll notice how most of the goals I said, I ended up talking a little bit more than I wanted to about most, most of them, think actually, but whatever, are just simply goals and not actually ways to get there. And

I didn't tell you like how I will hold myself accountable for each of those goals or what I'll do or for how long I'll try it except for the typing one and maybe the other the phone. don't know shit. Sorry if I messed up the order, but I didn't really tell you about how I was going to try to make those most of those goals happen or make the time in my I guess a different typing when I totally watched that but how I'll make the time in my day to do it. But I think setting the goal is the first step. So if I could go back I would just read you those goals again, but I got carried away. So setting the goal is step one.

Josh Felgoise (15:59.554)

And then the next part in step two is deciding how you're actually gonna do it or what systems you'll put in place or how you'll actually implement that goal and make it happen. So for example, the phone at night or in the morning, instead of giving myself the ability to first thing look at my phone in the morning, and it also has been like a crutch, like it kinda helps me wake up in the morning, which is really bad, like it's the way I open my eyes. It's very, very bad. But I'm sure a lot of people do it. I'm not judging you. If you do it, I'm just thinking it's, I think it's bad for me. So if you like doing it,

Keep on keeping on but for me, it's a spin something that's created a lot of anxiety in the morning So I'm just gonna I'm gonna stop doing that but a way that I've the way I did today To actually help myself not do it is I've moved my phone away from my bedside table or my nightstand or whatever You want to call that bedside table sounds like an old old woman's table? My night table my nightstand I moved my phone It's usually plugged in right there and I like I put it down right there and then I get in bed and I go to bed

But I've actually moved my phone away from my bed. So I actually have to get up before I can even go on it. And I have an Alexa alarm clock that I use to wake me up. So don't I don't rely on my phone alarm regardless. But not being able to go on it or be on it until I'm actually up I think is a great way to make that goal happen. Like I'm not giving myself the temptation. And I know I should have more self. What's the word I should have more more self control but like

This is a way that I'm making it so I have to get up before I do that. And it felt great this morning. Like I couldn't... shit, the thing's leaking again, so I'm sorry if you can hear it. I mean honestly, like this morning it worked really great. So it was one day down and like a lot more to go, but it was the first time in a while that I didn't check my phone right first thing in the morning. I absolutely took a lot longer getting up this morning and I snoozed my alarm like 20 more times than I probably should have. Like I ended up getting up 30 minutes later than I wanted to.

Which is which is it's part of problem. I'm getting there one step at a time but Like I didn't check my phone until I actually left my apartment this morning, which I thought was really great for me So I like I got up brush my teeth at all my things in the bathroom peed, know You know the vibe and then I actually got dressed put my sneakers on like got ready to go I went to the gym this morning Yeah, I know and I actually like left the apartment before I took my phone and that was like the first time in a while I haven't like scrolled on my phone or check my email or check my slack or something for work or

Josh Felgoise (18:25.698)

personal life, like notifications, group chats, I was like, I know, before I left the apartment and it felt really great to like see the sun before I've seen, before I saw my phone. that, men used to go to war, men used to jump out of planes, now they wake up to group chat notifications, but.

But I started today. I started today and that was like something that I thought was really helpful. And that's my recommendation is pick one or two goals and set a way that you can actually make them happen, whether it's every single day this month, every other day this month, every couple of days, every week, figure out one thing that you want to do and find a way to actually get there. And I prefer to look at it like this. As I said, like

Instead of going into the new year, giving yourself 10 things you want to do, start now, start each month, start now with one goal. And then once you accomplish it, or once you feel like you've successfully added it into your routine or your everyday, add on another goal and another goal and another goal. And each month you can add on a new goal or every few weeks you can add on another one. So this month, what are you going to start with? And after you've got that, what's one way you'll actually make it happen?

And I also want add in that I think figuring out how to make the goal possible or how to make the goal actually happen or successful is actually my favorite part. feel like the process and the way to get there or the way I get there and how I figure it out is usually more important than the actual result, like the problem solving it takes to figure something new out or believe in yourself enough to make it happen.

Because just trying and believing in yourself enough to want to make a change or a positive change that you think will like just positively affect you The process to get there and figuring out the way to actually make it happen Like it's all about the journey like the the journey to get there and like how you actually figure out what you're gonna do To make it happen to me is the most important part So what's your one goal this month? And what's the one way you're going to make it happen?

Josh Felgoise (20:29.218)

Start with one goal and one way to keep it as simple and as manageable as possible and then go from there. And that is today's episode. Thank you so much. Listen to guys set a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh. I'm 24 years old and every Tuesday I come on here to talk about what should be talked about for guys in their twenties. If I was ever really did please like subscribe and give this podcast five stars leave review. That's one two three four five stars the top of the page and please leave a review. Something positive would be awesome if it's negative. I understand. I all.

Feedback all constructive feedback is appreciated send it any topics for me to talk about that should be talked about for guys in their 20s to my email It's josh at guyset.com j o s h at gu y s e t com or you can DM me Instagram tick tock all the social medias at the guyset th e g u y S e t if you want to follow the new style accounts I talked about in the last couple episodes in the what to wear episode and also in the gift guide episode. They are at

guyset style GU why set style style on tik-tok and Instagram You can also leave any comments below and there's like a Google form You can ask me anything you can check out this episode on YouTube follow on all social medias What else you can find this podcast anywhere podcasts can be found that is Spotify Apple podcast YouTube all of them Amazon I think Boom player I think I don't know. There's a bunch. There's a lot of them. You can also check me out on guyset.com

I'm revamping that website. So maybe don't check it out right now, but soon in a couple months I'm also me launching merch soon, which is really exciting. So look out for that and thank you so much for listening steps I really I really appreciate you and thank you for taking the time and I hope this is helpful and I hope you set a goal for yourself and Try to stick with it and find a way to actually make it happen Thank you so much listening I said a guy's guide to what should be talked about and I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys