How To Feel Confident In Any Room

Here is my practical, honest guide to building confidence by borrowing someone else’s energy, presence, or mindset until it becomes your own. Learn how to walk into rooms with certainty, speak clearly, and show up like the guy you want to be.

The Idea Behind Borrowed Confidence

Every guy knows the feeling. You walk into a room and instantly feel smaller than you planned. You want to speak up but something in you hesitates. You replay what you’re about to say. You shrink. You overthink. You assume everyone else has something figured out that you somehow missed.

I’ve been there.
A lot.

That’s why this episode starts with a simple question.
“Have you ever wished you could borrow confidence?”

Because I have. Many times. And when I finally allowed myself to try it, everything shifted. Borrowed confidence is the idea that you don’t need to wait for your own confidence to magically appear. You can borrow the energy of someone who already has what you want. You can try on their presence like a hat or a hoodie. “It is something that you can put on and take off.” And if it fits you, it becomes your starting point.

This is the concept that changed my relationship with confidence, and it’s the one I break down in this episode. If you want more on building a real confidence foundation, you can read <u>How Do I Build Confidence If I’ve Never Had It?</u>, <u>How Do I Stop Overthinking Everything?</u>, or <u>What To Do When You Feel Stuck</u>.

Borrowing Confidence in Rooms That Intimidate You

I used to sit in meetings feeling like the least qualified person in the room. My boss had decades more experience than I did. “She has 30 to 40 years of experience on my four years.” She carried herself with this quiet, calm confidence that I didn’t understand at the time. She didn’t rush. She didn’t shrink. She didn’t jump in before she was ready. She knew when to pause. She knew when to speak. She knew how to hold the room.

So I studied her.

The way she let silence work in her favor. The way she sat. The way she listened. The way she responded without performing. It wasn’t loud confidence. It was earned confidence.

I tried it myself. And I felt the shift instantly.
“I instantly felt better and I felt more confident.”

Was it natural for me? No. Was I pretending? Also no. It was practice. And eventually, through repetition, it became mine. If you want more on speaking with presence, check out <u>How To Communicate Better At Work</u>.

Borrowing Confidence in Dating and Social Life

Confidence isn’t just a work skill. Sometimes it’s what you need in the moments that matter most socially.
“Walking up to a girl at a bar that you’re nervous about walking up to…”
That moment is universal. You see someone do it effortlessly and wonder why you can’t.

But you can.

Borrowing confidence in dating doesn’t mean copying someone else. It means borrowing the energy behind their action. The ease. The posture. The willingness to try. You don’t need his line. You need his momentum.

If you want more help with those moments, go deeper with <u>The Art of the First Text</u>, <u>How Do I Know If She Likes Me?</u>, or <u>How Long Should I Wait For Someone To Reschedule</u>.

Borrowing Confidence From People You Don’t Even Know

You don’t have to know someone personally to borrow something from them. Sometimes it’s a creator.
Sometimes it’s an athlete.
Sometimes it’s someone online you’ve never met.

One sentence from a creator changed how I think about consistency.
“I decided to post three times a day, every day.”
That framework wasn’t mine. But I borrowed it because it gave me structure. I didn’t wait for motivation. I just followed the blueprint. And eventually it became part of my rhythm.
“Now it is a part of my own thing.”

If you need momentum in your own routine, explore <u>How To Build Momentum When You Feel Lost</u> or anything inside <u>Lifestyle</u>.

Borrowed Confidence on the Red Carpet

The most unexpected moment where I needed this mindset was when I stepped onto a red carpet for the first time. I didn’t feel ready. I didn’t feel qualified. I felt young and out of my depth. But I also knew shrinking wasn’t going to help me.

So I borrowed someone else’s energy.

Before the event, I studied how Emma Chamberlain handled interviews. Her calm. Her curiosity. Her presence. So when I walked up to that first mic, I stepped into her energy before stepping into mine.

“I channeled what Emma Chamberlain did.”

And it worked. The nerves fell away. The confidence showed up faster than the fear. Borrowed confidence can get you through a moment you might otherwise talk yourself out of.

Why Borrowed Confidence Actually Works

Borrowing confidence works because confidence is not a feeling. It’s a set of behaviors you repeat until they become automatic.

You don’t wait to feel confident.
You behave confidently until the feeling catches up.
“You’re acting like the person you want to become until you actually become that person.”

Borrowed confidence is a bridge.
A tool.
A shortcut.
A way in.

If you want more mindset frameworks that build on this, explore <u>Mindset</u>, <u>Confidence</u>, or <u>How Do I Stop Caring What People Think?</u>.

Why This Episode Matters

Borrowed confidence matters because most guys think confidence should feel natural. But even the most confident people borrowed something early on. A posture. A presence. A tone. A behavior.

Borrowed confidence shows you:

• how to step into rooms differently

• how to stop shrinking around people who intimidate you

• how to act with confidence even when you feel insecure

• how to practice confidence until it becomes yours

And eventually, it does.
“I now feel like that is my own confidence.”

Notes From Josh

I wish someone explained confidence to me this way when I was younger. It would’ve saved me a lot of overthinking. Borrowed confidence gave me a blueprint for the days when I didn’t feel ready. I hope this episode does the same for you.

Want to hear the full story? Listen to the episode on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.