How To Introduce Yourself

I had another blunder recently that I'm gonna tell you about because it was one of those moments that in the moment, was really, it was tough. It was really one of those like, my God, you fucking idiot, stop talking and like maybe prepare yourself a little bit more before you go up to this person and say hi.

but also one of those moments where I'm like, that will be something that I want to come on here and tell you about later. Like a couple hours later, I was like, you know what, maybe that would make a good episode because I didn't embarrass myself for nothing, right? Like I'm least embarrassed myself for some sort of episode and some lesson I can hopefully pull from this absolute bullshittery that I caused. And it was just like, I left this interaction being like,

fuck, like that was so awkward and it did not have to be like it could have been this thing that went well that I created an introduction from that I got a connection from and I just kept making it worse and that is one of my greatest qualities in life where if something is going badly, I will not stop there. Like I will not let you go. I will make sure.

that it becomes more awkward and more of a situation instead of just like dropping it and being like, okay, bye. Like I did eventually leave the conversation. Nobody was uncomfortable. mean, actually I can't speak for the other person in this interaction, but I mean, I was uncomfortable. So I'll speak for myself that I was awkward. I definitely absolutely blundered, but it was one of those moments where like I thought I could recover and I just kept fumbling like.

I just kept picking up the ball and dropping it and picking up the ball and dropping it and like again and again and again and there was like Yeah, like if you were watching that from the outside you would have been like ooh like One of those conversations and I Mean the other person is probably not thinking about this interaction Whatsoever, but I haven't stopped thinking about it since and I probably will not stop thinking about it. So

I was at an event about a week ago and there was somebody in the room that I am a fan of. This person that I admire their career. I think what they've been able to do has been really amazing. Let's call him Mr. Producer for the sake of not to make this sound like weird like Harvey. Not like it. all right. Let me.

I'm gonna call a so I'm gonna call a mister producer for the sake of the story because he's a he's a movie producer and I think that like I think that's like a really cool industry. I feel like I have a lot to learn from somebody like that. I would like to have that connection and when I found out that person was there I was like I feel like I have to go say hi like I feel like this is an opportunity that I can't give up like

This is a moment that doesn't come across my desk every other day. One of those times you're in a room with somebody where like you're that somebody really cool that you usually do not have access to that I no longer have access to. Like I could send them a cold email. I could reach out to them on Instagram or wherever their website, but they probably won't respond because like that's just it's really like a luck of a draw when you do something like that and you send out a random email like you kind of just here's to hoping when you send something like that.

when you're in the room with somebody, like, you're right there, like you're face to face, you have an opportunity. So you either take it or you don't, or you blunder it, like I did. So I'm not gonna say his name because this is like, I mean, I don't know, maybe I can and I probably will end up saying it at some point in the episode. But yeah, like for the sake of the story, this is a movie producer and somebody that I think is just cool and I would like to not even just like work for, but like.

work with in some capacity meet at least be connected to. And I think like it just would be helpful to know, you know, I don't think I would be helpful for him to know me maybe one day you never know. But like at this moment in time, I think he's more helpful for me to know than I am for him. Yeah, I mean, that's pretty obvious. So I just feel like those types of opportunities don't always come. So when I found out that that person was there, I was like.

I feel like I should go say hi. And in the back of my head, I was like, I'm gonna go say hi, I'm not gonna go say hi, like, do I do it, do I not? And I was asking everybody I was with, I was like, should I go up and say hi, like, should I not? And like, was that type of thing that like would not leave my head. Like, I saw somebody that I hadn't seen in a while and I was like, hey, like, this person's here, like, should I say hi? Like, one of those things I just like couldn't let go of because I felt like it was such a good opportunity to not just pass up.

and all night I was thinking about going up and introducing myself and as the event was winding down, I started to kind of realize like I either go up now and say hi or I never can. Like I either go and take this opportunity or the opportunity is going to pass me. And I was already at the point in the night where like

I was everybody was kind of leaving the event was slowly ending there was an after party but like I didn't know if he was gonna go he's like not an old man but he's like not young and spry so I don't know if he was gonna like stay and like go have a drink and dance all night or just like take his wife and head to the car you know like one of those one of those types of people and not that that's a bad thing I feel like that's what you do when you're old you just like

you leave the event you don't go to the after party where like all the young people are like drinking and like fucking you know so anyway I was thinking like he may not still be here so let me go pee and then I will go walk back to where the main event is and see if he's still there and if he is I'm gonna go say hi if I can like gather up and muster the courage after I go pee to go say hi I'm gonna go do it and like

So I go up to the urinal, I'm doing my thing, I'm shaking my thing and like I'm kind of having to decide like, all right, do I do this? Do I not? Do I this? Do not? I'm like really going back and forth on this. And I finished peeing, zip up, wash my hands, do all the business. And I'm like, all right, let me go back to the room and see if he's there. So I go back into the room and he is. And like, I feel like that was a good thing and a bad thing. Cause I was like, well, now I have to, like I've been thinking about this all night. It's been the back of my head for like,

two plus hours now, I have to go say hi. And I just told myself if I went pee and he was still here, I would go, I would do it. So I go up to him. kind of like, I had been thinking all night what I'm going to say. Like I'm like, all right, I'm gonna say hi, I'm Josh, nice to meet you. I have this podcast, I really love what you do. And like kind of introduce myself in a way that brings some sort of value to him or that like he can hopefully see that I have some value or that like,

kind of creates a more interesting introduction than just like, I'm a fan of what you do. Nice to meet you, bye. Like something that is a little bit more memorable that he can remember me by that when I do follow up or if I ever do follow up, I can be like, hey, I said this thing. I'm interested in this thing and like kind of create more of like a next step to the interaction than just like a hi, nice to meet you, handshake goodbye, you know? And I was, kind of had like something prepared.

And when I decided to dart up and walk to him, all of that fell out. Like, I forgot everything I was going to say. Like, nothing was there. And I was he was on his phone. He was texting and I was just like, I kind of tapped him on the shoulder.

And I was like, hello.

I'm embarrassed. Give me I'm telling you this. I kind of had to no shoulder and he kind of got startled and was like, oh. And I was like, hi. He was like, I was like, hello. Hi. I just I just absolutely I don't know. And he like turned off his phone and he was like, hi. I was like, it's nice to meet you. He was like, you as well as like I'm Josh. Nice to meet you. And I just like said it was nice to meet you again. He was like, yes.

And I was like, I'm a big fan of X, Y and Z. Like, I really like what you do. I'm looking forward to this next project. And he was like, that's great. And then he continued the conversation. So he obviously felt that like I had something. So he was like, and what do you do? And I just like forgot. And I kind of like said what I did, but I also didn't. And I was just like, yeah. And he was like, okay. And then I kind of took that as a moment to be like, all right, I feel like the conversation's losing steam.

And I'm not going to let this go because I've been thinking about this all night. I'm not going to let this go yet because I haven't really said anything. I haven't created any sort of like memorable moment. Like there's no follow up or follow through here. Like I got this. I got to keep this going. I got to keep this ball rolling. I muster up the courage. Like I better say something. So I'm like, have you seen the movie that you have coming out? And it's like a movie coming out soon. And he was like, my movie. I was like, yeah. He was like,

Yeah, I've been working on it for two years. I've seen it. And he wasn't rude. It was just like a dumb question. Like, obviously, he's seen the movie that he made that is coming out soon. Like, no shit. He's seen this thing. And I was like, yeah, great. Like, how is it? How is it? Like, what's he going to say? Not good? Like, there's no, there's no. And he was like, it's great. I was like, that's great.

And he was like, yeah. And I was like, all right, bye. And I just kind of turned, I was like, nice to meet you. And he was like, yep. And I just kind of turned away and left. And I was like, fuck me. Like, jeez. I had been thinking of what I wanted to say all night. I had prepared something. I wanted to at least say, like, I'd love to stay in touch or I'd like to get your contact or I'd like to get your assistance, whatever. I'd like to work with somebody on your team or I think that maybe blah, blah, blah. Like, and I just was just like, yeah.

Cool, excited, I'm happy for you, like, god damn it. I'm still thinking about it I'm like, what a blunder. Like truly, like, what a awkward interaction. And I really doubt he thought much of it besides for like, damn, that kid was awkward or like, oof, like, yikes, he was definitely nervous. Like I hope he sensed that there was a nervousness there and I wasn't just like.

Hey, like I hope he understood that I was really nervous and if I was in his shoes, I think I would understand that if I was in his position and like, I don't know. That's hard to do. Like I have to give myself a little bit of credit at the end of the day or like now because I think that is a really hard thing to do. And it's it's a skill that I am consistently working on and something that I think I will always be working on and learning going up to somebody in the art of introducing yourself because I think it is really hard and I think

It is something that we so easily decide not to do and can scare ourselves out of because of how hard it is or because of the fact that when you do go up to the person, like there's a chance that you black out and forget everything you wanted to say and your name and what you do and everything because like the nerves take over or the anxiety of the situation takes over and like you just black out. Like that's a potential and a possibility of introducing yourself or of walking up to somebody new. Like this same

thing applies to walking up to like a girl at a bar as it does to walking up to a high-powered person that you're interested in working with or working for or introducing yourself to anybody, walking up to somebody in an event, walking up to somebody that you don't know. Like, having to do that isn't an easy thing. So I'm giving myself a little bit of, more than a little bit, like I'm giving myself credit for the fact that I at least did it. And I mustered up the bravery and the courage to go do it because it is hard and like

If you were in that position or if you've been in that position before, I'm sure you have if you're listening now, like, and you decided not to go talk to that person, you were probably left wondering of like, what could have been if I had done that or what would have happened if I had said hi? my life could be if I had done that thing or?

how my life would change or what could be different or what my situation could look like if I did that thing. It's like the if then scenario that we play out in our heads all the time. And that's not a fault to you because I've also done that. I've done that so many times where I've been like, I really should have walked up to that person. And I think if I hadn't walked up to him, maybe in this situation would have better if I hadn't because it was really fucking awkward. But no, still no. Like still it's never, I think it's always better to try and to know and to

again, maybe not in this situation, but no, it is. It's always better, I think, to try and to know that you gave it an effort and know that you decided to go do it and took a chance or took a chance on yourself to go say hi to this person, because that is hard. It's really hard to do that. And I think if you've been in the situation where you're like, I really wish I did that, like,

Well, you can come listen to this episode anytime you want because this is a perfect example of how it went wrong. and that's just like a funny thing, but like it is true. Like this is a good example of it not going the way you wanted it to, but I'm, I'm on the other side of it and I'm happy I did it. Like I really want one of the things that you get out of this episode or that I get out of this episode is that like, I really am happy I did that because

I now learned that I have a lot to improve on in terms of introducing myself or in terms of creating a little bit of like an elevator pitch for myself or just the art of introducing myself. Like I'm not good at it yet. There are moments where I am like there are are times where I am really great at walking up to somebody and saying, Hi, I'm Josh. It's really nice to meet you and like

creating a conversation and creating an opportunity for myself from that conversation or making a connection or making an introduction that does become something else and there is a next step or like a follow up or a follow through to that connection. Maybe we become friends, maybe we become colleagues, maybe we become like, I don't know, I was gonna say email correspondence, but like maybe it becomes some sort of like interaction for business, for work, for life, like whatever it may be. Maybe that person becomes a mentor or like somebody that I end up talking to more and.

like learning from. And there have been moments where I crush that and I'm so happy that I can do that too. But there are also these moments like there are moments where I absolutely fuck it up and completely drop the ball and just lose what I wanted to say and like just like whoops. But I'm still like learning and I'm still happy that I went up and did it and tried.

And I now know so much more because of that interaction. Like, not to say that I know so much. It's true. I really feel like I learned a lot from that moment talking to that person because one, I learned that I had the courage to go up and say hi. And I think that is something that every single person can work on because for the amount of times that I did go up and say hi to that person and mustered up the courage after I decided to go pee and I was like, all right, if I go do this, I'll do this.

There are also the moments where I'm like, nah, like, you know what, he's probably gone and like he probably left his wife to the car. Like what I told you earlier about what was in my head of like, I'm not even gonna go check the room because he's probably not there anymore. And then I leave without even checking the room or knowing if he was there or not and leave not knowing what could have been if I had said that thing to that person, if that makes sense. I think for the amount of times there's been the moment where I have gone up, there have also been the moments where I've wished I had.

and thought about what could have been if I did. And I feel like these awkward encounters or these awkward moments are kind of just par for the course when you're putting yourself out there. And that relates to every interaction of putting yourself out there that I talked about earlier. Like, I think one of the best parts of this was it didn't make me want to stop introducing myself or stop putting myself out there.

It more so just made me realize that like maybe I should prepare a line or something to say that like keeps the conversation going or adds some sort of value. Like maybe that would have helped me. And again, I did forget everything I wanted to say because I was anxious and I got nervous and that's gonna happen too. But like if I had a little bit more of like a fallback or something really prepared, which I honestly didn't, I just kind of was gonna say like.

Hi, I'm Josh, I do this and I think what you do is really cool, nice to meet you. Like didn't have the, I would love to stay in touch. I didn't even think about that or I didn't think about like I would love to get an email or your assistant's email or somebody that I could follow up with to like, I don't know, just like that next thing. I didn't have that moment or that thing to say. And I think that's a good lesson for me. Like have something else to say that when,

the conversation starts dying down or when it gets awkward to have that kind of like last final thing to continue that relationship. I think the same goes for walking up to somebody, anybody that you don't know. Like when it gets awkward, either you are awkward or kind of feels like it's ending or there's a weird moment. Like you can totally just say like, it was really nice to meet you. Can I get your number? It was really nice to meet you. I'd love to stay in touch or I'd love to continue this. I'd love to.

get a drink, I'd love to get lunch, I'd love to get a coffee. Like that can apply to every single situation. I didn't really even mean to make this applicable like universally, because that wasn't like the goal of what I came on here to say. I really just wanted to tell you about this really awkward interaction and what I've learned from it. But I think it is really universally applicable. And I think like one of the hardest things that every single guy aged 17 to 40, like whatever, I think one of the hardest things that we have to

learn how to handle learn how to learn how to deal with learn how to understand learn how to get better at is introducing ourselves is the art of the introduction is going up to somebody and saying hi nice to meet you like i've talked about it on here before and i don't think it's something that i will stop talking about because that awkward moment or that like nervous anxious interaction like i'm still learning like i'm still going through i'm still

having more things to say about it and still kind of like figuring out alongside you and at the same time and I don't have it figured out. I don't think anybody really does and I think it is really interaction dependent. Like you can have a great one one day like I was saying and then the next day totally flop and face palm like I did and be like, I should have shut the fuck up and put my foot in my mouth. Like that was really bad.

And I think like, that's the point. Like it's, it's not a one size fits all. There's not an answer to this question really. Like it's situational. It's there's, there's no universal advice that you can apply to each interaction you have or each different meeting or each different person you're going to walk up to, but you can learn how to get better or learn what you say that you're comfortable saying or

how to say that thing a little better or deliver it a little bit differently. And again, it also doesn't have to take all this thought. You also don't have to put all this thought into it, but I think there should be some thought because I had no thought and I think that led to a really awkward interaction that could have been really great. Like it could have been something that was really good and it became something good because I get to talk to you about it, but.

It could have been better had I prepared a little bit more like I'm not saying you have to overthink and overanalyze I'm just saying you have to have something to say, you know, you have to have something to continue that conversation and It's kind of also like if you're sending somebody a message to like have a conversation You you're like cold outreaching to somebody on LinkedIn or an email and you just say like I'm really interested in what you do Without saying why or anything about you in that message?

which we aren't taught, right? Like when we're taught that like you should be reaching out to people for like a new job, you should be reaching out to like cold outreach instead of just like applying. You should meet people at the company and blah, blah, blah. Like the best way to make yourself kind of memorable or recognizable is by standing out is not by saying I'm saying to stand out is by saying like why you're interested in what they do and kind of like what you can bring to the table or what value you can bring.

And that is the piece I completely missed. I was just like, I'm interested in what you do. Cool, bye. Like I didn't say that I'm interested in what you do because I do this and this. And I think I have some sort of value because of this and this, if that makes sense. Like I was taught that sending an I'm interested in your job is the worst type of message you can send without adding the why or what you can add. And I think that's really solid advice. Like I think that is, that was a really great thing I learned early on.

And instead of just saying I'm interested in what you do as vice president of coding or whatever the fuck like it's so much more memorable to say I'm interested in what you do as the vice president of coding because coding is my passion and I feel like I could really add value to your coding system through this and this. I don't know why I picked coding as the example. I just wanted to pick something unique I guess. But like adding the thing that you can bring

Or because like I'm building a website and think our interests really align and I think we'd have a really great conversation. I actually learned that really early on in guys said one of the people I had on one of the first guests I had on gave me that piece of advice and about like reaching out to people cold or just sending a message to somebody. And I've taken that advice with me every time I reach out to somebody and I think it applies to every outreach for like every job.

And I think that also relates to an in-person interaction. Not every interaction has to be contractual, what's the word? Like the word for when you and that person contractual? I don't know, yeah, sure, let's go with it. Not every interaction has to be like a contractual, it's not the right word, but you know what I'm saying? Not every interaction has to be that thing where you each give something to the other person or you each gain something from the other person, but in this,

I think it should have been and it should be most of the time and I Created like a really unmemorable or forgettable kind of conversation and I Have been mulling over this conversation for mulling over well for like a week now because it would as I said to you be a really valuable connection and But an awkward blip on this person's radar became a lesson to me

And if I hadn't walked up to him and completely made a fool of myself and Bob's interaction, I would have ended up going home wondering what would have been or could have been if I had walked up to him. And I never really think it's better to stay wondering. Like I would always rather at least try and then build from there and give myself the opportunity to build from there. And maybe I'd have said something like

I would love to talk to you about this or I'd love to talk to a team member of yours about this and kind of give a brief ask because I left it at this like nothing ending and no one teaches you how to really present yourself or pitch yourself or ask for something.

and each interaction requires something different or a tweak to what you say based on who that person is or what you're trying to get at. And I feel like this is just such a good skill that nobody talks about that everybody can get better at. Like, I don't think you ever stop learning at that or getting better at that. And this was so good for me because I am really outgoing a lot of the time. I'm sure you can tell that from this podcast, but

I do get really nervous and when I have those split second decisions between like should I do this should I not okay I'm gonna go do this like the nerves do build up or I forget what I want to do and like I get not to say like I would think that maybe from this podcast you think that I wouldn't get nervous or wouldn't get anxious or wouldn't have those like blackout moments maybe you do maybe you're like you do

You you do not yes, we do actually think you do have those moments because you can't talk Yeah, we do actually think you do so maybe you do but like I don't know I just think it's really helpful to hear someone say that like hey I'm I also have those really awkward times too like I am right there with you in those moments where one had like one of those moments where I

wished I had gone up and ended up thinking about what could have been for the next two weeks if I had done it or two did go up and then created an absolute buffoon of myself, you know, there's and I've also had those the three like the the third one the good bucket where I did go up and I had a good interaction and something became of it or the four where like I did go up and I Thought it was better than it was and it ended up becoming nothing and the person didn't reach out or I just I reached out and they didn't respond like

There's a lot of options for what can happen from something like that. And sometimes it can get your hopes up and sometimes it can get your hopes down like this one. you know, who knows what to say if it had, who knows what would have happened if it had been a good interaction. But like, it wasn't and that's good. Like, cause I now get so much out of that. I now learned so much about how I wanna kind of carry myself moving forward, how I wanna introduce myself going forward, how I wanna prepare for those interactions going forward.

And I really think that's one of the best things that we can all learn in our 20s is just how to talk about ourselves, how to introduce ourselves, how to say hi to people, how to walk up to people, how to be confident enough to walk up to people. And I think that is a lesson that I will be continuing to learn and I will bring you along for because it just, it helps me when I hear people talk about this type of stuff or what they learned from these interactions and what could have been and what was and what happened.

I hope it helps you too because for one, think this is a really funny one and maybe not. Maybe you're also like, ooh, just like cringing at how bad this one was. This one was tough. This one was tough. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I'm not going to lie. This one was tough. I'm going to post this. I'm going to listen back to this and be like, ooh, awkward. Like you, you did it. You really, you did have a bad moment and sometimes you do and that's okay. And we move forward and we move on.

And I hope this helps you and I hope I hope the next time you think about if I should go up to that person and say hi, you do you go try and you don't think about my interaction. Well, like use mine as like the floor. Like this is as bad as it can get. Like not that I like anybody like pooped themselves or like I farted and I was like oops and then threw up on him. Like it could have been worse. There are always worse. This wasn't great because I just asked some bad questions and I think he was like, this is dumb.

Like, all right, can I go talk to my wife now? Can I respond to this text again? So it wasn't the floor. wasn't the, wasn't the, the Hades town, but it was, it was that middle ground. Ooh, that's cringe. Well, I hope you, I hope you do try. Like, I hope you go up to the person and say hi and introduce yourself. And if you do, write into me and let me know how it goes, because it is most likely better than this one.

That is the episode. you so much. Listen to guys said a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh. I'm 25 years old and I'm here every single week every single Tuesday to talk about what should be talked about for guys in their 20s. If you like this episode, I really hope you did. Please like subscribe to this podcast five stars. Maybe that's one two three four five stars not four on three channel. It's five stars. Thanks so much. I really really really appreciate that.

If you think about this, we talked to guys in the twenties, go to my website, guyset.com, G U I S E T dot com. There is an ask me anything button right there. It will go right to my email. I, you can be anonymous. You can set everyone. I will talk about it. I'm going to do an ask me anything. Dear guys said episode in the upcoming weeks where I answer all the questions that you guys have sent in. There are some really good ones. There are some really great questions that I'm going to be answering for that next episode. So I'm really excited about that. So send in a couple more. I probably have room for like three or four more, but I'll, I always just like stack them onto the next one.

I'm also launching a newsletter. It's called guys set toolkit. It's going to be coming out Wednesday. So if you are interested in that, sign up in the same, ask me anything thing, just put your email in and I will send you that newsletter every single Wednesday. It'll be like, it'll be like a bunch of different sections. Like, and I think it will really add more value and, I'm really excited about it. It will just like kind of add onto what I talk about that week. And then also talk.

about like a lot of the other things that should be talked about for guys in their 20s. I think it's been great and I think every week is gonna be different and I'm really excited about that. You can also go over to guyset.com for blog posts every single day on everything dating, lifestyle, relationships, wellness, fitness, style, like everything that you're wondering about, all the topics are right there and you can find daily blog posts. You can also...

Check out this full video on YouTube at guyset, G-U-I-S-E-T. You can follow me on Instagram, on TikTok at guysetpodcast, at the guyset for a lot more content and I will see you guys. no, thank you so much for listening to guyset, a guy's guide to what should be talked about and I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys.