There is a specific kind of question that only comes up when you actually care.

Not when you are casually dating.
Not when you are detached.
Not when you are just killing time.

It shows up when you like someone. When something feels real enough to mess with your head.

That moment is familiar to a lot of guys, and I’ve written about it more directly in Real Answers to the Dating Questions Guys Are Actually Searching For. Caring is usually the trigger, not insecurity.

That is where this starts.

Because these questions are not random. They come from uncertainty, vulnerability, and the quiet pressure to not mess something up that actually matters.

When Comfort Becomes The Real Question

The farting question sounds like a joke until you sit with it for a second.

Early in a relationship, everything feels fragile. You are protecting attraction, chemistry, and momentum. You are trying to stay desirable while still being human.

If covering things up makes you feel more comfortable early on, do that. Comfort matters. Attraction grows in safety, not pressure.

Relationship researchers consistently point out that emotional safety is what allows intimacy to deepen over time. Psychology Today has written about how comfort and trust build gradually, not on a fixed timeline Psychology Today on emotional safety in relationships.

There is no timeline for when you are “allowed” to relax.
There is only when it feels right.

If this question hits close to home, it connects closely to How to Handle First Dates Without Getting Ahead of Yourself.

The Instagram Like That Isn’t As Small As You Pretend

Guys ask this question because they already feel something. They just want to know if they are imagining it.

“She wants to talk to you. She’s probably interested in you.”

An Instagram story like is not a promise.
It is not a commitment.
It is an opening.

It is a way of saying the ball is in your court without having to say anything out loud.

Social behavior experts often describe these micro-signals as modern conversation starters. The Atlantic has written about how likes function as low-risk invitations in digital dating The Atlantic on social media signals and dating.

For a deeper breakdown of this exact situation, read What Does It Mean If She Liked My Instagram Story?.

When She Says She’s Not Ready And It Still Hurts

There are few things more frustrating than not getting a clear answer.

But the reason matters less than the outcome.

“I don’t think the reason matters as much as the fact that she is ending it.”

You can spend weeks replaying conversations, texts, and moments. None of it changes the reality.

Something ended.

And yes, it sucks.

“It fucking sucks.”

Psychologists consistently note that searching for perfect closure often keeps people stuck longer. Harvard Health has written about how acceptance, not explanation, is what actually helps people move forward after rejection or loss Harvard Health on letting go and the power of forgiveness.

The work is not figuring out why it happened.
The work is deciding how long you are going to let it define you.

How To Know If You’re Ready For A Relationship

If you are asking this question, it usually means you care enough to be scared.

“If you’re scared, it means you care.”

That fear does not mean you are unprepared. It means something real is in front of you.

Most people wait to feel ready before they act. That feeling rarely comes first.

“You have to try before you know you’re going to fail.”

You do not become ready by waiting.
You become ready by stepping into it and adjusting as you go.

If this question keeps looping for you, this pairs well with How Do I Know If I’m Ready For A Relationship?.

When Effort Starts To Feel One-Sided

Planning dates is not about control.
It is about feeling chosen.

If you are always the one initiating, deciding, and pushing things forward, resentment builds quietly.

“If you don’t tell somebody how you feel, they can’t read your mind.”

This is not about keeping score.
It is about making sure you are not carrying everything alone.

Relationship experts consistently emphasize that unspoken expectations create more tension than conflict itself. The Gottman Institute has written extensively about how shared effort and communication protect long-term connection Gottman Institute on effort and communication.

If this dynamic feels familiar, you may want to read Why Do I Always End Up Caring More? next.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know if a date is actually interested in me?
Interest shows up in effort. Engagement, responses, and openings to continue the conversation matter more than decoding every signal.

What does it mean if a girl likes my Instagram story?
It usually means she is open to talking and interested enough to make a small move. Think of it as an invitation, not a commitment.

Is farting in a relationship a big deal?
Only if you make it one. Early discretion is normal. Comfort takes time and unfolds naturally.

She said she’s not ready for a relationship. Is that a cop out?
Sometimes. Sometimes not. What matters more than the reason is the result. Overanalyzing the explanation usually keeps you stuck.

How do I know if I’m ready for a relationship?
If you are asking, you probably care. Nervousness does not mean unprepared. You figure it out by being in it.

Is it normal to feel anxious about committing to someone?
Yes. Commitment brings vulnerability and risk. Anxiety often means you are taking it seriously.

My girlfriend never plans dates. Is that a problem?
It can become one if you never talk about it. Planning is about shared effort, not logistics.

How do I ask my partner to plan more dates without starting a fight?
Frame it with curiosity instead of criticism. Ask what she enjoys or wants to try next.

Why do guys overthink dating so much?
Because dating combines attraction, vulnerability, and uncertainty. Overthinking is not a flaw. It is a sign something matters.

Listen To The Full Episode

Farting in Relationships, Commitment Anxiety, and Social Media Signals: Dear Guyset

Notes From Josh

You are not behind for wondering about this stuff. You are paying attention.

If you have a question you do not know where else to ask, send it in.

You are not the only one thinking it.