Texting Rules, Hookup Timing, and Tipping Etiquette: Dear Guyset

Josh Felgoise (00:00.206)

Welcome to Guy's Set, the guy's guide to what you should be talking about. I'm Josh, I'm 23 years old, and I'm here to find all the tips, advice, and recommendations for guys in their 20s. Let's get into it.

Josh Felgoise (00:18.062)

Hi guys, welcome back to guys set the guys guide to what should be talked about. Today's episode is one of my favorite episodes that I do once a month and it is called guys set toolkit. This is number three and basically guys set toolkit is my take on ask me anything where you guys send in questions that I answer and I call it toolkit because you can come here and pick up the tools to.

answer the questions to things you have in your life. And I think it's a fun title and that's why I call it that. So welcome to guys set toolkit number three. This is the third installation, as I said, and I think today we have like 12 to 15 questions that you guys sent in. So these are questions that I've compiled from things you've sent into my Instagram at the guy set to my tick tock to my email. I got some to my DMS. got some from Reddit.

which is a new thing I found. don't know why I'm so late to Reddit, but I discovered it recently and it's like a questioning. It's a question and answer forum. You guys probably know what Reddit is because everybody knows what it is, but I didn't think it was for that. I thought it was for something way different. I thought it was like way weirder than it is. And it's actually great. So I started a sub Reddit called guyset. You can find it r slash guyset. I'm promoting it now. but I've got some questions asked there and sent to me directly on there. And these are all those questions. So let's begin.

With the first question and I put these out of my phone and I don't really check on them again until now So I really don't prepare these answers. These are just kind of off the fly These are exactly off the cut off the Chi fly and really just answers from things that I think about right now And that's what you're gonna get. So First question is whoo first question drum roll, please First question is I got a girl's number but won't be in the city for a few weeks Is it weird to schedule a date so far out?

What should I do? Cause I'm not sure I want to text her for two weeks. Ooh, this is a really good question. Okay. Let's start, let's start off. This is starting off with the bang. Okay. So I, I think texting for two weeks is a really hard thing. Like I don't want to have to text someone, somebody before I've even met them for two weeks and have to continue that conversation before you even got on your first date. So I think it's okay to wait like,

Josh Felgoise (02:33.588)

A week or so and then schedule that date. think a week out is totally fine. I think it's actually like normal a week out. but I think like any, anything above two weeks, three weeks is really far out and it's very hard to keep a conversation for that long. As I said, especially when you haven't even met the person. So you don't even know what you're talking about. It's just like, Hey, how was work today? How's your job going? How's your apartment? Like what'd you have for dinner? What are you doing this weekend? And maybe you can then meet up. But I think if you haven't even met up, then you shouldn't text.

If it's If it's like for further than like a week, a week and a half out again, that's not like an arbitrary number. That's just my first thought here. But I've had a couple of experiences that I've texted a girl for like two weeks out and then it kind of just like dies out like that. That just happens because it's such a long time of texting. And what the fuck do you talk about for that long with somebody you don't know? So maybe a week, a week and a half is a good like middle ground there. And.

Otherwise I'd say, wait, okay. So yeah, so text her in a week or so asking for the date and then you can keep the text going for a week. think it's easy to keep a text going for a week. Ish, kinda texting with somebody you don't know can be really awkward. Anybody else, anybody else experienced that? Like when you're trying to make a conversation with somebody from hinge for a whole week, that's hard. I'm not a huge fan of it. And I

At least once you've met once, then you can keep the conversation going to the next date and then to the next date. But you're texting like a stranger every single day. that's unless it's going really well and you're in the text banter is great. So if the text banter is great, then keep it up. Great for you. Good job, lad. But otherwise, like a week, a week and a half of texting is hard. So good luck. So I guess I don't know if I answered your question or not, but not sure if I want to text her for two weeks. I would say don't. I would say I probably answered that. I don't know what's going on. I had too much coffee, but

I think you should, text her in a week for a week. Okay. Next question, because I've answered that now six times. That's, you know, the first one's always a little rough. Now we get into it. The next question is if you shower after dinner and you're going out, do you put on deodorant? Okay. Wow. This is a complete shift. And as I said, these questions, I just write them down as they come in and I don't look at them. So we're going in a random order there. These are not in any specific order. so to answer that question,

Josh Felgoise (04:55.884)

It depends. Am I seeing people in that span? Like if I'm just hanging out with my roommates and we all like, I mean, I hope I don't smell after a shower. I don't think I do. I wash my body and my hair. We talked about how often we wash our hair in, how often I wash my hair in a previous episode. And I got a lot of flack for it. I said I wash my hair every day and I still haven't changed my methods. I said I was going to, but I still haven't. So I don't think I smell after a shower.

But if I'm not hanging out with anybody or I'm just hanging out in my apartment, like I probably won't put on deodorant. Cause then I don't want to wear like deodorant to bed. I don't feel like I need to, but I'm going out always every time and, and I do a little cologne. I don't know if that's too much, but I do it. Okay. Next question. Hookup culture colon. What is the ideal amount of dates to wait? I've actually talked about this question before on previous episodes. I don't think there is a set number of dates to wait to hook up like

And I'm going to take hookup here as Foogly. Like I don't think this means, uh, make out or kiss. I've, we've talked, we've talked about both those topics already. So I'm not going to like go into this one too much more and you can find those answers in guys that toolkit one and guys that toolkit number two. Um, but I don't think there's a set amount of number of dates to wait. think if you feel comfortable with the person and they feel comfortable with you and it's consensual and like you're both down and go for it. Like no one's stopping you life short. Have a good time.

But otherwise, I think if you feel nervous and you feel like you're not sure if it's right yet or it's not the right move, then it's probably not. Like, don't rush yourself into it. Don't like feel like you need to rush into that because that was set as a standard in society or you feel like you're supposed to. Like, don't worry about any of that. Do what you think is right in the moment. Do what you think is right for that person and you and go from there. Like, there's no answer to this question. It's really just how you feel and

If they're down and you're down, go for it. Otherwise don't rush and because I mean rushing can make things awkward and can make, rushing into things can. Sorry, my mom just called me and I had to hang up on her and now I'm, lost my train of thought rushing into things can make things awkward and you don't want to do that. And that, and that can set a weird tone for the rest of the dates or the rest of the time you spend with that person. So don't rush into it. Just do what you think is right in the moment. Okay.

Josh Felgoise (07:20.522)

Is it weird to wear pajama pants in public? And can we normalize it? Sure, like no, I don't think it's weird. Is it a little collegey? Yeah. Did we all do it in college and wear pajama pants to class and like, yeah, for sure. Is it a little weird out of college? Yeah, like it depends. Are you going on a Saturday morning to get a bagel? Then no, fuck it, who cares? But are you going like to the supermarket? No, even then, I don't think it's weird.

My answer to this question is no, I'm changing it up as I speak. Do whatever, wherever the fuck you want, like who cares? If you're trying to impress somebody, maybe put on some real pants, but if you're not and you're just going out to run some errands, like wherever you want, fuck it. Okay, next question. I'm an impulse buyer and I like to treat myself in quotes a lot, how can I, wait, let me read that again. I'm an impulse buyer and I like to treat myself a lot. Sorry, what is going on today?

I'm an impulse buyer and I like to treat myself a lot. How can I discipline myself and save? I also struggle with this so much and I, like I'll like see something and I'll, I'll think I wanted it and then it'll be stuck in my head or like, I'll, I'll, I'm an impulse buyer. Hi, I'm Josh. And I'm an impulse buyer. Clap, clap, clap. Welcome back to AA. I, or IB impulse buyers and IBA impulse buyers anonymous. I struggle with this too. And I think.

This is something I want to work on in the new year, especially being in a city where like everywhere you walk, there is something that you're going to want. Like there's either like a coffee or a treat, like a cookie or a sandwich or something that you're going to want. And I could save so much money by going to the supermarket and making that same sandwich or save so much money by buying cold brew and making it, making a coffee at home instead of buying a $6 coffee every time. I do think there's like occasions and times that you should treat yourself like

I work from home on Mondays and Fridays and on Friday, like I'll go get an iced coffee. Like I feel like that's a good standard I've set for myself that I'm okay with because I haven't gotten it the rest of the days. like this week or last week I bought a cold brew from the supermarket and then poured myself like ice and coffee and that I saved myself like 25 bucks probably by not like having iced coffee in the supermarket thing and not buying it at a coffee shop every day.

Josh Felgoise (09:46.798)

So something I want to work on in the, new year is not always, I actually saw a tech talk about this recently and it was like what, what the girl said. She was saying that, wow. Hmm. What was she saying? She was saying that we as a generation, when we want something, we get it and there's no waiting or.

Making ourself wait for it. So it almost feels less valuable sometimes than having to wait and then like earning it or getting it in that way because we just self gratify. Is that the right term self? I don't know the right word. There's there is a word for this. like we, give it to ourselves so quickly without even thinking about it. And it becomes less rewarding because we're always giving ourselves that reward. And then when you have to wait for something like I do for a Friday coffee, it feels more rewarding and I'm more excited to go get that. And it becomes more of like a.

treat than getting it every single day. So I think there is something to having to wait to get something like it's like a birthday gift or a Christmas or a Hanukkah gift. You having to wait till that day to get something feels more exciting and better than just getting a ton of gifts throughout December. Yeah, does that make sense? I hope that makes sense. So I'm going to work on that in the new year. Maybe I'll do an episode on it. I want to work on budgeting. It's something that I'm really bad at and I'm going to work on it. So

how to discipline yourself, think you should set certain days or times that you can go get yourself that thing you wanna get. Otherwise, I think you should make yourself wait and you just have to discipline yourself. You just have to be like, nah, I should save money right now. Or no, I can wait a couple days to get that. So I think it's just like a, it's a mental thing. It's literally a discipline thing. What is the, I love this question!

What is the best movie to watch with your boys? You guys were not expecting that. I just love this question. I'm a big movie guy. I actually wrote down a list for this question. Let me find that list because this is the one question I saw and I was like this this needs I need to spend time on this. I don't want to have to just like run through. So here's what I wrote. Okay. So for your boys on a night and if you want to watch a movie super bad step brothers 21 or 22 jump Street Anchorman.

Josh Felgoise (12:06.289)

Borat, Big Lebowski, Wedding Crashers. Great list. Watch any of them if you haven't seen any of them. Oh, also 40 year old Virgin, another good one. Any like 2000, 2010 comedy movie, even like a rom-com movie. We just watched the Jennifer Lawrence one, that was great. The new one with the little kid in her. Little kid, he's literally our age. But that was great. And I just think any like comedy movie will always suit the vibe of hanging out with your boys. Okay.

Yay or nay to a shirtless hinge pick. Ooh. It's a fat nay from me. It's a fat, I mean, I'm answering this from a guy's perspective and I have a profile of, I have a guy's profile. I have profile of a guy. I have a guy's profile. So I'm saying that I think putting out, okay, well, first of all, I don't have a six pack. I don't know if you can tell from the video, if you're watching on YouTube, it's not me.

hasn't been me, maybe never will be me, hopefully will be me, maybe in 2024, maybe that's the goal. But I'm not gonna put up a shirtless picture of me, because I gotta leave something to the imagination, right? And I think you should too. I think it kind of gives too much away. And I think it gives a very douchey vibe right off the bat. It's kind of like a fish picture, like, and if you have a shirtless picture or a fish picture, like this is no shade to you. You know what, you do you do your thing. This is just my opinion of that. It just kind of gives like a douchey.

vibe right off the bat and I don't think it adds to a profile. I think a picture of you like looking dressed up or looking nice is way better than that and gives off more of a like gives off more of who you are than just a shirtless picture where you're like they can analyze that. But maybe that works for you and that's great. Doesn't work for me. I mean I'm not going to post that right now. That's not that's not where I'm at.

with my body, but that doesn't work for me. That may mean that that may work for you and epic and awesome if it does and sick. I'm jealous of you in that respect. Cool. Okay. Next question. Is it weird to go on family vacations at this age? Ooh, I like this question. This is pretty different than other ones we've had. A lot of them are like dating or other stuff and I like this. Okay. My answer to this question is no, I think it's awesome to go on a family vacation at this age.

Josh Felgoise (14:27.468)

I think if you're lucky enough to have parents that still want to take have parents don't like honestly taking on a vacation and have the money to go on a family vacation and like you're close enough with your family to do that then like that's awesome. And I think you should be very grateful for that and take full advantage of it and have a really nice time with your family. We I mean I feel like when I was younger I took my trips to my family for like took it for advantage took it.

Took advantage of it? No, what's the right term? I'm like, I can't speak today and I'm on a podcast. That's not good. What's granted? I took it for granted. These like family vacations that we went on. And looking back now, like I'm so much more grateful for that time we had together. And I think I would be so grateful now to go on a family vacation. And like, if you're lucky enough that every member of your family is like able to go do something like that and go explore and go take a trip together, like that's amazing.

and you should be grateful and have the best time. hope wherever you're going, if you are going on a trip, you have the best time together and be grateful for it. And don't take it for granted. It's something that not a lot of people have that they can get to do. And it's really, really nice. I hope you have a great time. Also, there's definitely a lot of families that don't want to go on a trip together. And the fact that you, I'm assuming that you're close enough to go on the trip if you're asking if it's odd.

The fact that you're close enough with your family or siblings or parents or whoever is in your family, like that's really awesome and don't take it for granted. Okay, that's that on that. It's time for the question section! baby! Okay.

Welcome to the fast question section where I answer questions for you quickly and not expertly because I don't really know the answer to them and I'm just going to say them right off the bat. Okay, here we go. That is a new record for the fast question section introduction. So that's the, that's the time to beat. I don't know. I haven't timed it, but that's the time to beat. Okay, here we go. Somebody asked me if I tip on beer and that inspired me for this question section that at some point will be brought to you by somebody, but it right now is not. So

Josh Felgoise (16:46.572)

The question section is about tipping. So it's called, you tip on? And I'm gonna go through a list of things and tell you if I tip on them. And I'm sure this is gonna be a contested video clip and maybe it won't be, maybe people will agree with me, but let's get into it. I do tip on most things. Let me get a preface with that. I feel like I'm a good tipper. Restaurants. and some, okay.

Let me start with tax. Do you tip on tax? I really want to know that question from you. So please, I'm going to put a story up tomorrow when I, when I put this out, answer that honestly, I really want to know, do you tip on tax? I do for the most part because one, I feel like I forget and two, I'm not that good with math. I don't want to have to pull up my calculator calculator and do the math at the restaurant or the bar. So I feel like for the most part, I do tip on tax.

And it's only it's solely because I don't want to have to do the math or pull my calculator and look like a loser. So that's why I feel like the answer to that question is yes, I do tip on tax restaurants. I will tip 18 to 20%. I feel like every time, waiters and waiters are working really hard and it's that's a tough job. And I respect that hustle. so yes, restaurants I'll tip on Uber's. don't know. I don't know. yeah, a dollar or two, but it's not like

15 to 20%. I don't know. Is that bad? I'm sorry if it's bad. No, I'm not. I don't know. I don't know if it's bad. Not sorry yet. Taxi. I always tip on because I had one really awkward and bad experience in a taxi where the guy I didn't tip and I just clicked no and I got out and he was like, what the fuck? and I was like, I met the tip. sorry. I closed the door and like ran out. It was really incredibly awkward. It like my first couple months in New York. But

tipping etiquette and taxis as always. So I'll always tip in a taxi. plus I feel like they're usually cheaper than an Uber. So I'm like that, that would have gone to the Uber anyway. Uber eats. Yeah. I feel like that driver is making his effort to, or his or her effort to come to you with that food and the weather could be bad or I don't know, like you don't know how far they're having to travel for that. So I always step on Uber eats. and now this is the, section where the question came from, which I wrote down cocktail draft beer and bottled beer.

Josh Felgoise (19:08.726)

So cocktail, yeah, I'll tip, I feel like 15 to 20 % or like a couple dollars and even it out. And then for beer and bottled beer, I feel like I'll tip a dollar or two. I hope I don't sound like a dick. I really don't. I've talked to a couple of friends this past weekend and it sounds like they do the same. Let me know if I'm a total dick. Like, let me know. Respond to the comments if I'm a dick. But.

I feel like for the most part, think tipping is a great thing. know in Europe they don't do it, but I don't think I have lot of European listeners right now. So most of my listeners are in the US. So tipping etiquette is a high and well, but I also write down coffee. Do I tip on coffee? Yes. I'll tip a dollar or two on coffee. Like no 50 cents to a dollar, especially at like the smaller coffee places. I

Know that tipping etiquette has gotten out of control and like it feels like every time you step in an elevator There should be like there's like a tip button like or every time everywhere you go there's like something that you're supposed to tip on every time you step out the door there's someone that wants a tip like I Yeah, tipping etiquette has gotten out of control, but when you're going for a service I think like a restaurant or a bar or something and somebody is giving you like if they're literally just handing you a beer and they just opened it like a dollar's fine, I think that's Respectable respectful. think they understand that too

But if they're going through the they're shaking a cocktail, they're pouring the drink, they're making the coffee. Like, yeah, I think you should tip on that. Am I a dick? I don't know. Let me know. Okay. That is the end of the fast question section where I answer your questions quickly and not expertly because I'm saying them really quickly. and this was probably not an expert answer to those questions, but this was the fast question section and I'm happy you were here for it. next question is what do I do if I'm balding? Total change in pace topic situation.

See, this is how works here on the guys set toolkit. Like it's just free flow and it's fun. You never know what's coming next. And what I do from balding. I think so many guys have an experience with balding and this is something we do not talk about. So I am gonna do a full episode devoted to balding. And I'm gonna find somebody like some hair expert or hair regrowth expert because this is a problem that so many guys face. Like I have faced

Josh Felgoise (21:32.706)

balding like right here. If you're watching on YouTube, you can see you can definitely be like, shit, right there and there. And I think it just became it's become my hairline now. And look at my dad's hairline and it's the same thing. And apparently you have your dad's hairline from the research I did when I was on Accutane. But I used Rogaine like every night and every morning. And I was so incessant about it to try and like regrow the hair right there. And hairy growth is so hard and so complicated. And it's like

There's so much research on it and I really want to dive deeper into it because this is a problem. A ton of guys face, but to answer your question, I don't know yet, but I will get back to you with a full episode on it. I'm also gonna do a full episode on Accutane and my experience with acne, a full episode on acne, not acne, not Accutane. That'll be a part of it. But, um, that's the treatment. If you don't know what that is, that's a treatment that I did for acne that helped me so much. It literally cured my acne, but it led to things like my lips were so chapped and I feel like they're now.

chapped more than ever because of that at one point in my life and it leads to hair loss and stuff like that. But that's like the price you pay for the pimple treatment and like nothing else worked. And that's like the most extreme treatment you go on. So that's why I faced some sort of a little bit of balding. I'm I know I'm in a lot a better place than a lot of guys are. I'm I'm going to do a full episode on.

So stay tuned for a bunch of things. As I said, like these episodes inspire a ton of a ton more of solo type things. So I'll do an episode on hair loss and balding and I'm to do an episode on acne because those are two more things that need to be talked about for guys in their twenties for sure. And I haven't heard anything talk about them. So that's stay tuned for those in the New Year for sure. OK. What do you do for a hangover? Oh, thank you for asking. I am

I've gotten a lot better about the things I do for hangover. One of the things that I love the most is I take a like a metallic silver bowl, like a kitchen bowl. I don't know why I didn't say mixing bowl, like a mixing bowl. And I put cold water in it and then I pour a ton of ice into it and I dunk my face into it. And I know there's some science into it. This also really works for anxiety. If you're feeling really anxious and something like.

Josh Felgoise (23:50.434)

It's like a nervous system thing or like the the Nervul. This is not a doctor podcast. It's like the something in your cortex, prefrontal cortex, your nervous system, vagus nervous something. I don't know. There's something in there that when it gets shocked by cold water, it calms you down. So if you're ever feeling anxious, try this trick. I'm telling you it works.

I'll make a video on this because I'm not explaining it well. I pour ice into a bowl and dunk my face into it with cold water and it helps my hangover so much. My face gets so puffy and bloated and like I get really red after drinking too. And it just helps with all that stuff. And I just already feel 10 times better when I do that. I also drink a ton of water and I think coconut water or like a sparkling water works really well for me too.

Lemon and sparkling water don't sleep on that combination. I use spin drift don't sleep on that And carbs like a bagel like that's the answer to your question and pretzels and time and sleep Yeah, I don't I think everybody has their own little like cures some people have said pickles I've heard I've heard all different things salt works really well but carbs carb load and It's really it's a really healthy combination of things we're doing to ourselves, isn't it?

blacking out and then carbo loading. Good for us. We should really keep that up. Next question is, do you feel like you do a good job of staying in touch with friends? So short answer to this question is yes, I feel like I really do. And it's one of the things I pride myself in. Like I really like to keep up with my friends and I feel like I do a good job of staying in touch.

But this is another thing, and this is annoying again, because this question inspired me as well to do another full episode, and I wrote down, like, I slotted it, and maybe it's next week to do a full episode on this, because it's something that I get very, and I don't know if a lot of other guys think this way, but I think a lot about maintaining my friendships and keeping the people that I really wanna keep very close, and I think staying in touch with so many people is really hard.

Josh Felgoise (26:05.902)

And especially because I just left my last job and I have a bunch of friends there that I want to keep in touch with and stay friends with. So now that piling on top of staying in touch with college friends, staying in touch with high school friends and staying in touch with like friends from other groups of things. It's like, it can get very overwhelming and trying to split your time between lots of different things. Again, I'm so, I feel so fucking lucky to have friends that I want to stay in touch with and a lot like different groups that I want to.

maintain relationships with, it can get really overwhelming to stay in touch with friends, especially when people move apart or move to different cities after college, friends split up and go many different ways and it can become stressful to stay in touch. So I'm gonna do full episode on this, I think in the next coming week, next couple of weeks. So look out for that one as well. But to answer your question, I do feel like I do a good job of it and I wanna think about why and how and write out a list of tips to do that.

So that's coming up soon. How do you keep up with content and have so many ideas? Wow, thank you for asking. That is so, I thought you never asked. I don't sleep. to answer that question, I have sacrificed a lot of sleep to make this happen and that's something, really something I'm gonna work on the new year in the last episode of the working on it in gift guides episode I just released. think it was 20, no, two ago, 27.

Um, I talked about how one of my big goals for 2024 is to prioritize getting in bed earlier because instead of saying like, want to prioritize this isn't an answer to that question. I'm just saying something else. Instead of saying like, want to prioritize sleep. I'm saying, I want to prioritize getting in bed earlier. Cause that's something I can actively do to change something that I've really fallen into a bad habit of because I go to work. I mean, right now I left my job. If you listen to the last episode, I just quit. It's a really fun episode. Not fun. Uh, it's a really.

I hope helpful episode to anybody that's in a position with their job that they're if they're feeling stuck or they're not happy in their position, go listen to that episode. It's episode 28 called I quit my job. But right now I don't have a job. So usually I go to work and then come home and either edit an episode or record an episode or edit the video for YouTube or edit some clips. And it's like it's really time consuming. And I heard someone say like when you're doing something like a startup or you have an idea and you want to make it work.

Josh Felgoise (28:32.654)

one eye should be a a magnifying glass and one eye should be a telescope and that's because I Mean and like right now if you think about it both of or I think about it like both of my eyes are magnifying glasses and I'm just focusing on What I'm putting out the next day or what I'm doing Right then in there to make this thing go forward

Instead of thinking about the future and like having ideas and giving myself time to think and brainstorm and come up with other other things I want to talk about. I'm literally thinking week to week, which is kind of crazy. And that's just how it's worked so far. so I'm so grateful to have this like week to work on this and come up with like, sit down and like brainstorm and just what I do is I sit down with like a blank piece of paper and I think about. This is the answer to your real question. I've gone in such a tangent, but the answer to your real question is I sit down with a blank piece of paper.

And I think about all the things that are bothering me, things I'm anxious about, problems I have in my daily life, questions I have, things I don't think are talked about, things I don't talk about with my friends or family or know where to find the answers to. And I make a big list and I'm currently going through that list of things and talking about each of them. Cause that's the whole premise of what I'm doing on guys set right now. and

Week by week, think new things come up. So example, last week I left my job and I was like that I need to talk about. So week by week I'll go and think about what's going on in my life and, someone will text me an idea. Like I had a friend text me to talk about making friends in a new city. And I was like, that's a great topic. Let me think of who I can get on here to talk about that since I don't have a really great experience with that myself, but I know a couple of people who have struggled with that or I have.

a better experience with that than other people do. And I want to have somebody on that has had a tougher time with it. So I thought like, all right, let me make that happen. But again, I was just thinking about like week to week. And now I feel like I have that chance to like have that that telescope. I keep thinking it's called magnifying glass or binocular telescope. Either one works. You can think of either one for the reference. And now I'm thinking a little bit farther down the road of what other episodes I want to make. And now that I've sat down and thought about this, like a while ago on my website, I did a book club.

Josh Felgoise (30:46.302)

And I'm gonna bring that back next week. I'm really excited about that. That's a sneak preview for you. And then every month, it's just gonna be like a supplementary episode. It's not gonna be the same weekly episode. It'll just be like a Thursday episode or something. And if you wanna follow along that book with me, I'll talk about why I picked that book to read and then I'll follow up at the end of the month with a conversation about it. And then I'll like have a book club every month. And that's something I've wanted to do. And I just totally forgot about because I haven't had time to sit with my ideas or thoughts.

So I think it's really important to, this goes back to, always talk about journaling and I always talk about like self-reflection. I also listened to this podcast with, Mel Robbins. The podcast is called diary of a CEO with this guy, Steven Bartlett, I think. And he had on this woman, Mel Robbins, who's like a, she called, she was like a motivational inspirational speaker. And now she has her own podcast. She's really great. And she has a lot of really awesome things to say. So I highly recommend checking her out, but what she said was.

If you're going to set goals for yourself and especially around this time, it's like the new year, if you're going to set goals for yourself, you have to figure out where you're at first in order to move forward. So you have to do a self assessment of where you're at to then figure out where you want to go. Does that make sense? Like you need to see where you're at to then move forward. I'm paraphrasing, paraphrasing, paraphrasing what she said into that, but

Basically what she said was to like take a blank sheet of paper. I'm a big fan of blank sheets of paper. So you can tell I like being able to have nothing on there and then just like flow and be able to write and have nothing blocking or prompting. That's just how I work. But she's like write down categories. So it's like happiness, relationships, health, career, money. Like those are the those are the five that I wrote down and

One to five put down where you feel like you're at in that category and why so maybe i'll find that paper I don't know where it is right now, but i'll find that paper because I think that's a really cool Thing to do before the new year. Um So take that extra maybe i'll do that right now should I do that right now? Yeah, fuck it. I'll do it right now one second. Hold on Okay, i'm back. So I got the piece of the paper and I wrote at the top of the page I wrote starting point friday, december 15th. I did this a couple days ago

Josh Felgoise (33:10.774)

and the time and what she said, I'm now, now I'm going to read what she said because I wrote it. It's an assessment or an audit of where you are before you jump into what's next and have to understand where you are in order to set goals for yourself. So I down relationships with friends, relationships with dating, money, health, happiness, career, and sleep. And those are the six that I did. You can see my paper right here. I'm showing it if you're watching on YouTube. and I ranked each one to five and I wrote down why next to it.

and like what I'm happy with and what I'm not happy with in that in respect to each of them and I highly recommend doing this. This was really helpful for me and it also gave me a ton of ideas to talk about for this podcast. So to answer your question, I just went on like a crazy tangent, but to answer your question, I need time. Personally, this is how I work. I just need time to like brainstorm and think about all the things that are bugging me or making me anxious and bothering me. And then I got a lot of ideas from you guys. So when

You send in ideas or you ask questions. They inspire stuff like this and lead to so many other things. And my brain works in crazy ways. You just followed it for like, I don't know how long that was, but you just followed it for a little while. And like, I'm sure you saw me go in so many different directions and we're like, Jesus, can he answer the question without like going on so many different tangents? And, no, the answer to your question for right there is no, cannot do that. but I love when you guys write in and it inspires me and helps me so much to make this happen.

And that's a crucial part of what I'm doing here because I really want to answer and talk about the things that guys or girls or anybody want to hear about from a guy's perspective or want to hear about from this podcast. This is the starting point and it's for anybody at any age group, younger or older, but the, the premise is to talk about things that should be talked about. And that is what I'm doing here. So, wow, sorry for that crazy, crazy tangent.

Actually, I'm not sorry. I liked that tangent. That was cool. I also wrote down this piece paper I wanted to share with you. I was debating saying it or not. I wrote down, who am I jealous of? No, I'll do that later. I'm gonna do this one later. That's gonna be a separate episode, because I really like these two questions. Stay tuned for that. Okay, that is the end of guyset toolkit number three. I really like these questions today, guys and girls and everybody else. Thank you for asking them. These were really fun ones.

Josh Felgoise (35:38.046)

I answered how many? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, like a lot. There was a lot of questions. I know I keep saying I'll make these episodes shorter, but then I have a lot to talk about and I go on some rants and I don't know. Let me know if the length of episode is something that you like or if you'd like them, prefer them shorter. For these ones I'm answering a ton of different questions and it leads to a lot of different conversations. So I'm okay with this length, but I know this is not everybody's.

Preferred like podcast listen length, especially for a solo episode these I feel different about so I'm okay with the fact that this is longer but I Hope you enjoyed this. These are some my favorite episodes to do I feel like I have a different energy on these episodes where I'm just like I don't really know what I'm gonna say and whatever comes to mind just Splurts out and what you get is what you get and if I get canceled get canceled and that's that so

Thanks for listening. If you like this episode, really hope you did. Please like, subscribe, leave a review. If you're listening on Spotify, you can follow. you're listening on YouTube, subscribe. you're listening on Apple Music, follow. There's all the different words for the different things you can do, but it really helps the numbers and I really appreciate it and that's how I can keep doing what I'm doing. I don't know, I'm gonna keep doing it anyway. just like and subscribe, it helps. But if you like this episode, I really hope you did. Do all those things and.

Uh, send any questions, anything you want me to talk about anything that should be talked about to my email, josh at guyset.com j o s h at GUI S E T.com or DM me at the guy set T H E G U I S E T on Instagram or Tik TOK or on Reddit. Now are slash guyset. U I S E T. You can ask any questions there. Um, also go to my website guyset.com, GUI S E T.com, where you can ask any questions. a, there's a box. There's a, like a subscribe to a newsletter thing that's going to come out again soon. Um, and.

A lot of episodes coming up in with the rest of the year, a little sneak peek if you're still here, I'm starting a book club. So that episode's coming out. There's gonna be way more episodes in the next two weeks than I usually would do in a week because it takes a lot of time to make these episodes. like, I feel like I thought of lot of ideas that I wanna, as I was talking about the episode, I feel like I have a lot of ideas that I wanna make happen when I can before I start my next job.

Josh Felgoise (37:48.91)

So there'll be a best of 2023 episode where you can hear my favorite clips from all the episodes I've made so far, all the guests, best of the guests I'm gonna do, maybe a best of guys set toolkit episode. And I'm gonna do a 2023 favorites episode where I go through all of my favorite products, favorite, like the things I recommend, favorite TV shows, favorite podcasts, favorite movies, and give you all my recommendations there. So look out for all those episodes coming up.

very shortly. Thank you so much for listening. I love doing this and I hope you love this episode as well. And I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys.