She Didn't Text Me Back, Dear Guyset

Welcome back to another Dear Guy's Set episode where I answer the questions that guys are asking. Whether that's a situation, a situationship, a relationship, really anything you want advice on and I answer them to the best of my abilities. I do these episodes once a month every third week of the month and

As always, I am no expert. I am just a 25 year old guy going through all of this alongside you and with you and sharing what I learn and what I have learned as I go through it and as I've been through it. I think there's a ton of value in kind of like opening up the vault of all of these questions that we all ask ourselves in our heads and are all like swirling around in our heads, but we think nobody else is asking themselves or is wondering or

doesn't really know what to do about or know the answer to. And I think every time I do these episodes and I look through the questions that I'm gonna answer, I think, I'm not the only one that has had this thought or is asking this or is wondering this or does not know what to do about this scenario. Like, chances are if there is one guy asking this question, there are thousands, if not millions of other guys who also do not know the answer to this or want another opinion or another perspective and want advice on it. And I think

There is a massive value in that and I love doing these episodes for so many reasons, but that is probably the biggest one is that every time I do them, I think I am not alone in these situations and neither are you. And if you have one of these questions or you hear one of these questions, you'll probably think to yourself, I have wondered that right now, or I have wondered that in the past, or I may encounter that sometime in the future and I can come back to this and listen to the advice that I gave or use the perspective that I give to inform your own situation. And I think

That is just a cool thing and I love being able to do this. I love doing these episodes. so if there's a scenario or a situation in your life where you're like, I don't really know what to do about that or like, feel so alone in that chances are you're not like there, there are probably so many other guys who are also sitting in that thought right now who are also dealing with that or don't know what to do about that. And I think that brings me a lot of comfort and I hope that also brings you a lot of comfort. And I think

Josh Felgoise (02:38.574)

That's kind of like one of the hidden values in these episodes is that like we all don't really know what the fuck we're doing. Nobody really knows what they're doing. They're just figuring it out as they go and using the advice of people that we have around us and that we hear and that we surround ourselves with is one of the best ways to figure it out as we go. And right now we have.

the most resources in time that anybody has ever had and we have all of these ways to get information and hear other perspectives. And I think that's the benefit of a podcast and one of the biggest benefits of Geissit. So let's get into it. The first question, I always start with the Dear Geissit episodes by answering a question that I leave as a cliffhanger on the last episode. So the first question is, how often should you shave?

Now I'm assuming this is not referring to your face and I'm assuming you know what you like to do with your facial hair. I'm assuming you're referring to your downstairs, your downstairs area, your pubes. And I'm laughing because it's funny, but like at the same time, there is really nowhere to find advice to these types of topics. Like it's hard to, I don't know where to find this type of answer. So I'm happy to provide a space where I can hopefully give it and share what I think about this question. So.

I think there is no hard and fast rule to shaving, to how often you should shave or like what you should do when you shave. I think like as a good baseline, if you prefer that the person you are seeing or the person you're going to see is shaved, then you should also shave. Like do one to others what you want. Do one to yourself what you want unto others. Like something like that. You know what I mean? Like like expression of, I don't know, like Shakespeare or something.

that expression that like if you want other people to do it, you should probably do it too. And if you plan on dating or going on dates, I think it's good to keep that like area camped. Camped? I think that's the word. I think it's a good thing to keep that area like clean shaven. I think if you're going on dates, if you wanna be dating, if you're out there, if you wanna be having sex and like, I don't know, hooking up.

Josh Felgoise (04:52.151)

It's not a bad idea to shave. It's not a bad idea to like take care of that. I think like for the most part when you're going on dates, when you're dating, we should be taking care of ourselves and that means like cutting your fingernails, cutting your toenails, like plucking between your eyebrows, like the things that we don't really think about as guys that girls care a lot about I think so.

That also includes like shaving that also could mean shaving your face. You could have also been asking about shaving your face and I'm just taking this into a crazy direction. But I really don't think you were asking that because I would probably not be asking that either. I'm assuming you have a routine you like for your face. I probably shave my face like once a week or so once or a couple times a week depending on what I have or if I have like a call or I'm have an in-person thing that I want to look better for. I'll shave but I'm sure you have that figured out.

And like, I also think shaving refers to like anywhere you want to, like, it's so personal. it's really whatever you want to do, whatever you're comfortable with. Like if you want to, I don't personally shave my chest, but if you wanted to shave your chest, you can. Like do whatever makes you most comfortable. If you want, if you're going to be seen by somebody in the flesh, if you want to, if you're going to be seen by somebody and you're going to go like hook up with somebody,

It's a good idea to be shaved. not, and you don't have to be like fully, I don't know. I'm just like now rambling, but as you can see, I'm trying my best to answer this question and I don't have like the full answer to it because I really do think it depends on whatever you prefer. But I think there is also a mindset thing that comes with shaving. And if you don't shave, your mindset might be, I'm not seeing anyone or I don't have plans to see anybody. I'm not going on any dates. So like whatever, it doesn't matter. I'll just like, let it go, let it grow.

You might have a different mindset if you do shave that like when you do you're now gonna put yourself out there a little more you're gonna start going on dates or it's like that mindset shift of I want to start going on dates so like this will help me feel better feel make me feel like a little bit more ready like a little more in that mindset and it may affect your attitude toward dating or toward meeting people like

Josh Felgoise (07:06.236)

I wonder if there is some sort of correlation there and I feel like there is a correlation between your pubes and your attitude toward dating or your excitement toward dating and I feel like that would be an interesting study. Like I'm gonna call up the CDC after this and be like, are you guys interested in taking this on? Because I think there's a correlation. Maybe I'll do it. I know. I'm not gonna do that. But I think for the most part, there's probably a correlation between if you're shaving often or keeping your

your shit clean or like wanting to shave and your mindset or your attitude toward dating. I feel like there probably is and I'm going to die on that hill. I think that there's probably a correlation if I did the math, if I went out and did the field research, which I probably won't do. I'll let the CDC handle that one. But I think that it would affect your attitude toward wanting to go on dates or meeting people or going to talk to somebody because you know that if it goes well that like you're prepared or you're ready or you feel good about yourself.

You know that when you're going to meet somebody or like going on a first date or a second date or a third date like you feel good about the way you look and you're not like nervous or anxious about like fuck I didn't shave like fuck. I actually think that is something like It does change your attitude. I'm now I'm just like definitively stating it I think it does affect your attitude and your mindset toward dating or toward prospects or toward putting yourself out there and the way you feel about yourself, so if you

want to be going on more dates, if you want to be putting yourself out there more and you don't really know how to maybe start there, maybe start with like start with you and cleaning like yourself up and like keeping things tight and like, I don't know. For the most part, I think it probably does affect your mindset. So if you're looking to go on more dates, if you're looking to put yourself out there more, go on more first dates, get back on the dating apps, get back on the dating scene, maybe start there.

Start with yourself. You may not have thought that was gonna be the answer to that question or my advice on that question But I feel like it's probably pretty good. I don't know. Okay, the next question is Do you recommend dating apps or trying to meet someone out? I think both I feel like there's no harm in Giving yourself all of the options like I feel like for the most part when you give yourself the most possibility of something happening like if you're

Josh Felgoise (09:27.684)

ready to start dating. If you want to meet somebody, why not use everything you have to your advantage? Like we have dating apps at our fingertips, but you also have the option and opportunity to go out and meet somebody. Why not do both? I don't think you have to set yourself to a standard of one or the other or just be if you're like on dating apps to just be doing dating apps or you're just trying to meet somebody out. Like I feel like we have this amazing thing where

We have like a thing that nobody has ever had before that we can meet people by swiping and by just talking and then going out like before people had to be either set up by somebody or go on a blind date or go out to meet somebody like now we have all of these options. So why not use them? I don't think either has like I don't know the science or the study now. I'm like all in science and studies. I don't know which one has a higher probability of

working. feel like they both work and there's no reason to not be doing both if you're trying to date. I have friends that have met out and I have friends that have like I know people who have met their girlfriends or significant others while going out and I know people who have met on dating apps that have been super successful like I have a friend who just got engaged who met on a dating app. I also have friends who are in really successful relationships from just

meeting in the wild or meeting at a bar or meeting while going out somewhere or at a pregame or at a party. So I think that I've seen both methods be really successful and there's no reason to set yourself just to one or the other. Do both. And if you feel like one isn't working, then try the other. And if you feel like that one's working, then you can go back. But use both things to your advantage because there's no reason not to.

The next question is, or I guess kind of like a statement. met, no it's a question. I met this girl out the other night and she seemed really into me. Texted her this morning and haven't heard back. Is it over? No, I don't think so. I I think that by the time I've answered this question, like you probably already know the answer to this, but this will probably help somebody else that is in this scenario or will be in this scenario at some point soon.

Josh Felgoise (11:44.306)

You probably will find out in the next few hours if it's over or if she's interested. Like people also have shit going on and I don't think that a quick text back like determines interest really early on. Like I think if she texts you later tonight and is like, hey sorry I didn't get to this. Look at her, hey sorry I missed your message. Or is just like, hey like it was great to meet you. She could just like ignore the fact that it's been 10 hours or been a day and just be like, it was so great to meet you too. Like would love to see you soon.

I don't think the timing is that important early on and I know that's really hard, like that's a hard pill to swallow because especially early on we're all just kind of like waiting and hoping and like looking at our phone, like kind of refreshing our texts, just like waiting. Anytime a text pop up, you're like, and then like, fuck, it's just this random thing or like this random update or a news story or a celebrity died. Like, I don't know. But every time we're in something new or excited about something, we're really hoping that it's that person.

And that's why it feels like timing matters so much or that's why it feels like if she hasn't responded that it's completely over. And I don't think it is. And I know it can feel that way because if she hasn't responded in two hours, you're like, well, fuck, like, did I say something wrong? Did I say something weird is, is what I said not right? Like you just kind of spiral in your head when the time starts ticking more and more and the clock goes from hour to hour. And you're like, it's definitely over. And she wasn't interested as interested.

as I thought she was, or this just got my hopes up completely just to destroy them again, and now I feel like shit about this whole thing. And it's really easy to spiral about that. So I would just say, try your best not to, like I know that's not like, thanks, but like, I would say, give it some time, like let her respond. And maybe if a day has passed, then you can say that it probably isn't going any further, and it is probably over.

But if you're still in that next day of waiting, then I don't think it's over. I don't think that she's not interested just because she hasn't responded in the past two hours or the past hour or the past four hours even. I think when it gets to a 24 hour period, you can probably close that book and be like, all right, that sucks. But, and I really thought I had something there and I was really hopeful about it, but like that just probably means I'm ready and I want to be out there and I want to be meeting and I want to be going and talking to people or meeting people or going on more dates. And I think that is a

Josh Felgoise (14:04.415)

a nice kind of perspective to develop or to take on and just be like, okay, this one that I was really hopeful about may not be the one because she wasn't as interested as I thought, but that is a sign or a signal to me that I want something or that I really want to be dating. And I know that doesn't really make the blow any easier or the fact that it's over any easier because you really might have been very hopeful about this thing, but

I think it is a good indicator that you're ready and you really are in a good place to be dating. I know also like if you meet somebody and you feel that spark or that connection that like it can be hard to move past that and be like there's not gonna be somebody else like that for me. But I really think there is. I really think that there is somebody else waiting. There is somebody else that is inviting that into their kind of orbit and you just haven't found them yet.

And I think every like, I don't know, I'm getting a little like poetic-y, a little philosophy-y here, but like, I do think that every kind of one direction closing is a, or, oh God, I totally botched it. I had it, I had it, but then I lost it. I think any door closing, Liz, another.

Josh Felgoise (15:18.031)

I think rejection is redirection is the way I say that I really do like anytime it feels like a door has completely shut in your face. You have to turn around and find another one like you are forced to then find something new and it may take you a longer time. It may take you more time than you wanted it to to kind of like heal from that or move on from that. But when you do realize and you when you do find the next thing you'll realize that that was a good thing for you and that happened for a reason.

Yeah, I just, think that like, it's not over yet if she hasn't texted you back this morning and you haven't heard back. I think give it some time, give her the night, give her like the rest of the day. And if it's a 24 hour period, and again, like it could be 26 hours that you're on, and she's like, I'm so, sorry, I was so hungover yesterday. And then I had plans with friends, and I had a birthday party, and I was just like, she could have this whole thing. And you don't know her yet. Like you met her and you talked to her for...

I don't know, probably like an hour or two hours at most at this time. So you don't really know her and she doesn't really owe you an explanation. You don't know her next blah, blah, blah, all that shit. But I know the feeling of the hope that like meeting somebody can bring. And I know the letdown that that really feels like. Like I know that feeling, but trust me, I know it. And I'm sure any other guy listening to this right now also knows it or anybody listening knows that feeling of like that really big kind of come down from that hope that you develop. But

I really think that there is something else for you there and it's a good thing to know that you are excited about meeting somebody and are in that good spot and are ready for that. The next question is, why do I feel so much pressure to be in a relationship? I feel like the pressure that a lot of people feel to be in relationship is because of the people that they are surrounded by or

the stages of life that their friends are in. When all of your friends or a lot of your friends are in relationships, it makes your situation or your singledom feel so much more exacerbated. Like, it feels so much bigger that you are single because the people around you aren't. And that feeling sucks. Like, I have been there before when...

Josh Felgoise (17:33.493)

I've had close friends that are in relationships and it feels like they're progressing so much faster than me or it feels like they're developing this thing that I don't have in my life and they're kind of gaining this new experience that I haven't had yet or I don't have at the moment. And I think that is where the pressure comes from. That's like the one side of it. And the other side of it is I really do think that there is a pressure that society puts on people to be in relationships by a certain age. So I don't know how old you are, the person asking this question.

But I'm assuming you're somewhere maybe in your mid-20s, late-20s, early-30s, late-30s, middle-of-30s, like somewhere from like maybe 25 to 35. I think that is where the pressure starts and the pressure develops and the pressure kind of cooks hotter and hotter in that time of our lives. Because we're told that during this time in our life we're supposed to be in a relationship and we're supposed to figure out the next step of our life or move in with your significant other and have babies and move to a suburb or like...

It's kind of like what all the literature says is that like that's the time in our life and that's like the phase that you're supposed to be developing into and the phase you're supposed to be starting and I think that that pressure is a bad thing because it can lead you to get into relationship quicker than you're ready for or lead you to get in a relationship that you're not actually into and I think that both of those things are bad things obviously like yeah no shit Sherlock those are bad things to do but like I think that a

pressure to do a certain thing or to fit into a certain mold or to squeeze yourself into a certain box because of the way the world has told you you're supposed to operate or the way everybody else in your life is operating is not a good thing. And that doesn't make it any lighter. That doesn't like make the pressure any colder or take it off completely. Like, of course not. Just because I'm saying it's a bad thing. Like it doesn't take it off. It doesn't make it easier. But if you can recognize that

It may just be because everybody else in my life is that is in that right now and it may just be because I'm feeling like I have to. But if you can understand where that pressure is coming from and how it is really making you feel specifically like if you're looking around at all of your friends and they're all in relationships and you're like I really want a relationship because I I'm ready for it versus I really want to be in a relationship because everybody else my life is in relationship that difference right there like I want it myself or I want it because everybody else has it.

Josh Felgoise (19:57.491)

Is a big difference. So if you're in the camp of, want a relationship. I really, I want it for myself and it's regardless of everybody else is in one. And it also may be because of that, like that's a good thing. Like that, then you should start going on more dates. You should start putting yourself out there more. You should start getting on the apps. You should start really making an effort and putting that effort in, your life. Like maybe that means going on one date a week. Maybe that means going on two dates a week. It means carving out the time.

to make that effort for yourself. It means really taking that seriously. And on the other side of it is that pressure that you're feeling because of everybody else, but you still don't feel ready. Don't force yourself to be ready. And I think either way you will figure out quickly which kind of camp you're in and it will lead you to understand your situation or where you are in life a little bit better. Regardless, I think both of the

pressures, both of the camps of pressure will probably lead to go on more dates or to put yourself out there more. And that's never a bad thing because either way you learn something about yourself and you learn where you are or if you're ready or what you're up to or who you like or how you like the way you talk or learn all this stuff about yourself or you get yourself into relationship. both of those things are great experiences. Both of those things are experiences that everybody should have and everybody wants to have at some point in life. So

The reason I think you're feeling so much pressure to be in relationship is probably because your friends are all in them or the people in your life are in them and because you think you're supposed to because we all think we're supposed to because that is where that is that's like how it is. Unfortunately it is how it is. But I think that pressure isn't necessarily a bad thing. And so I guess what I'm trying to say and now realizing I might have might have said the complete opposite less than three minutes ago is that

The pressure may not be a bad thing. It might, it's a bad thing if it leads you to get into relationship that you're not interested in just because you feel like you're supposed to be in a relationship or it leads you into a relationship and you're not ready and everything will burn in flames. But regardless, I don't think the pressure to want a date or to put yourself out there is a bad pressure. I don't think that's a bad thing.

Josh Felgoise (22:16.727)

I think you will learn a lot about yourself in this experience, in this pressure, and in this time in your life. But just try and do it for the right reasons. Like try and make sure that the person you're gonna get into relationship with is because you really like them and because you see something with them, not because you think you're supposed to be in relationship with them. Boom, ending it there. Not the episode, just that question, because I feel like if I keep talking, I'm just gonna flip flop back and forth. Okay, the next question is...

How do you balance, oh this is a good one, how do you balance hanging out with your friends and hanging out with the girl you're seeing? I think this is something that everybody has to figure out on their own. I don't think there is a one size fits all answer to this question. But I can tell you that I have personally struggled with this. Like I think that.

There are times in your life where you're hanging out more with your significant other, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, whoever it is. And there are times in your life where you are hanging out a lot more with your friends. There are also times where you're trying to figure out the balance and it doesn't feel balanced at all. And I think that is okay at the same time. Like, and I think that as you get older, you start to handle this balance better. I think that

in your early 20s, maybe even in your mid 20s, it's really hard to figure out this balance or find this balance. I think a lot of people can get completely lost in a relationship and just hang out with their significant other or just their girlfriend and kind of leave their friends behind. And if that relationship ends, they find themselves being like, fuck, I haven't seen my friends in like months. Like, how has that happened? Or like, I've totally distanced myself from them. And like, that is wow. Like, I can't believe I did that. Or I don't know how I found myself here.

So if you're in that place and you feel like you've spent way too much, not too much time, because I'm sure you're enjoying that time, but if you've found yourself in a moment where you're like, I haven't seen my friends in a while and I feel like I've done a really bad job keeping up with them, that's a good sign that you need to figure out how to stay in touch with them better.

Josh Felgoise (24:21.207)

you need to try and text them more often and say like, hey, how are things? Hey, how are you? Like, hey, what's up? Like, or send them something like a funny meme and be like, made me think of you. Or like, you don't have to say that, just send them a meme. Like, I think that it's always, like, if you're asking this question that your head is in the right place, like if you're trying to figure out a balance better, and if you're struggling with it, then congratulations, you're human. And congratulations, you're probably getting yourself into a relationship or trying to figure out how to do it.

And we all, think, have a moment where we have to figure out how to do it. We all have a moment where we've either completely deprioritized our relationship and we've just been hanging out with our friends and our girlfriend is like, hey, how's it going? Hey, I haven't heard from you today. Or hey, I haven't heard from you in I don't know how long. What's up? And we also have the thing where it's like we haven't felt like we've seen our friends in a while. So I think if you're asking this question, you're in a really.

good headspace and I know it may not feel that way because you may feel like kind of twisted or a little bit like I don't know what to do now. You're a good person like you're a good person who for trying to figure this out and it just means that you have to figure out a way to make time for both and it's not easy but you do have to make time for both and you do have to figure out how to prioritize both.

There will be times where you're prioritizing your girlfriend a lot more and that's completely fine because that is probably one of the most important, if not the most important relationship that you're gonna have. But it's also really, really important to keep your friends and make sure that they're still there and you're hanging out with them and you're asking them how they're doing because our friends are also all we have. So it's like both of these relationships are really important relationships and it's very important that you

try to start figuring out how to maintain both of them. I think a lot of the times guys are not very good at maintaining friendships with other guys. I think it's something that I've talked about a lot on here. But I think that has changed a lot over the past few years over COVID, over the times where we've just been on our phones and having to learn how to communicate with each other more often and like Zoom and FaceTime. I think guys can, or there's just like a

Josh Felgoise (26:33.501)

widespread rhetoric that guys are not good at keeping in touch with their friends. But I think that can change. And I don't think that has to be a set in stone thing that guys can't keep in touch with their friends. But I think that we don't prioritize a lot of the time. think that there's moments where I'm like, well, I haven't talked to that friend in a while. And that is just a indicator that you need to work on it more. And you need to find a time to text them and just be like, hey, how's it going? Like, hey.

thinking of you, like, hey, haven't talked in a while, what's up? Like, hey, let's get drinks. Hey, let's go to dinner. that is something that girls are definitely better at, but that doesn't mean the guys can't get better at it. That doesn't mean you can't improve at it. That if you're in that situation right now or you're listening to this and you're like, shit, that's me. That is me because we've been, I've been there before. Like everybody has been there before. So if you're hearing me right now saying that, this is a good reminder to text your friend that you haven't texted in a while or text your closest friend, text your best friend. Like it doesn't matter. You could have talked to them yesterday.

or talked to them last week or last month. That doesn't mean that you're any less close or that you can't get back to where you were before. Like, it just means that you have to learn how to do both and hold two things at once. Like, two things can be true at once. You can be really close with friends and be really close with your girlfriend and make time for both of them. It just means you have to do it. Like, you just have to make it a priority for yourself and you have to want to do it. So the fact that you're asking this question and that you're wondering this means that you want to do it.

So you have it and you need to do it. And I think everybody has it in them to do it. It just has to become a priority for you. It just has to be something that you make into your day and you put into your day. And you think to yourself, when I'm leaving work, I'm gonna text that friend. Or at lunch, I'm gonna text a different friend. Or I'm gonna try and call this person and ask them how they're doing. Like, it just has to be something that you work into your day and into your schedule and into your life. Because that's the only way that you're gonna actually do it and get better at it and make it a practice and make it a habit. The next question is,

Is it okay to go home with somebody after the bar? Yeah, why not? That's fun. Yes, of course, it's totally okay to go home with somebody after the bar. As long as you're, I'm gonna sound like a grandpa for a second, but I feel like it's important because I'm probably talking to a lot of people right now. As long as you're being safe, you're both consenting adults, as long as nobody's too intoxicated or nobody's too drunk and you're gonna completely regret this in the morning.

Josh Felgoise (28:57.131)

And that's gonna happen, by the way. You're gonna make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. Everybody has those days. But as long as everything, like you're using a condom, you're like being safe and like you're both into it, like yeah, of course. Like you can go home after the bar. You're not a big fat ho for, I don't even know who I'm talking to, but regardless, you're not a big fat ho if you go do this like once or twice or like, I don't know, a bunch of times. Just be...

like weary, be safe, be like comfortable, like make sure this is something you want to do and you're not going to like regret and be like, like, why did I do that? Like, my God, I like, of course we'll all have those moments, but it's totally okay to go home with somebody after the bar. If you have a great vibe, you have a great night or like the date went really well, like, yeah, like as long as everybody's into it, then why the hell not? I think it's totally okay. have fun.

Okay, the next question is, how do you think dating has changed because of dating apps? A lot of dating app questions today, but they're good. I think dating has completely changed because of dating apps. I kind of alluded to this earlier that we have resources at our fingertips that nobody else ever in time has ever had at our fingertips. The fact that we can...

spend time swiping through people and as like options being like like hot or like not like the fact that we can do that all the time is definitely kind of changing our brain chemistry in a way to the to develop probably really high standards and be like I think this person is hot I don't think this person is hot like ugly fat like I think like we probably have

Changed a lot because of our ability to do that and because we do that all the time or at least we have done that for some time I think it probably raises our standards a lot like we probably go out and think in the way of swiping or of like Not having to put in as much effort when we go out because we know we can just go home and swipe again like I think it's changed a lot of meeting people out and a lot of

Josh Felgoise (31:17.111)

I've talked about this before, but there was a statistic that 48 % of guys from 18 to 25 have never asked somebody out in person. So like, yeah, it's fucking changed. Like the way that we're dating, like it changed completely. It changes everything. The fact that 50 % of guys in that age range have never gone up to somebody to ask somebody out because they either don't know how to aren't comfortable with it, feel anxious about it, or feel like they don't need to because they don't

They don't like at the end of the day, they don't need to if they don't want to. And as I said, like I have friends who have met people who are in super successful relationships from dating apps. And I have friends who are in super successful relationships from meeting out in person. So it has changed. Like it has changed the way people get to meet people. And it has also changed the way we talk to people when we're out. Like we feel that we don't have to go up to people and talk to them because we don't sometimes. And I think that is a good thing and a bad thing. Like I think both things are true.

Because the fact that we have this resource and we can meet people and it kind of gives us an opportunity that we've never had before that we can go on a date by just talking to somebody on our phone is crazy and also really cool and a great thing like that we can meet anybody in your city by not even going out is really amazing. Like it's there's two perspectives to all of it. Like it's amazing and it's also probably made our social skills worse and

It's incredible that we have this, but it's also maybe made us less confident. It's awesome that we have this, but it's also made us more anxious about talking to people and about having to develop that kind of muscle. it's probably made us worse at rejection or it's probably made us more prone to like dopamine and success and also

worse at handling rejection? I don't know, there's so many things that I could go on to and talk about with this question. It's a great question. I could probably talk about it for another hour and I won't. Maybe I will do a full episode on it because I think it's really interesting. But the next question is also about hinge profiles, so I probably will talk about it really soon. It's an amazing thing and it's probably not that great at the same time. But the fact that we have this resource, the fact that you have hinge and you can go on your phone

Josh Felgoise (33:39.849)

and meet people and talk to people and put yourself out there in that way is really fucking cool. And it's a great way to start dating. It's a great way to put yourself out there. I'm a big, big, big proponent of a dating app. But at the same time, I think it's great to meet people out. And I think it's a great thing to go up to somebody and say hi and introduce yourself. I think that is a under, underdeveloped muscle for a lot of people. And I think it probably will only get worse and worse and less developed over time.

with more dating apps with more ability to meet people online. I don't know. This is getting like existential, but I think it's great. I think use dating apps because like there's no reason not to. But I think it has changed everything to answer your question. How do I think it's changed? I think how do I think it's changed dating? I think it's changed dating inexplicably, inexplicably universally. Other big word insert.

Okay, and the next question, which will be the first question I answer on the next episode of Dear Guy Set is, what makes a good hinge profile? That's a great question and I am going to spend the next three to four weeks doing the field of research to figure out what makes a good hinge profile file full. I'm going to ask a bunch of people their opinions. I'm going to spend the time doing the research so I can get back to you with a really good and fully informed answer because

I want to get a lot of people's perspectives for that one. And I think it's a very good question. And I think it'll be a fun question and probably become a full episode. So that is the episode. Thank you so much. Listen to guys set a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh. I'm 25 years old and I'm here every single week, every single Tuesday to talk about what should be talked about for guys. If you like this episode, I really hope you did. Please like subscribe to this podcast. Five stars. Maybe that's one, two, three, four, five stars. Not four, not three, not two, not one. Definitely not one. Like what the hell?

Five stars. Thank you so much. And I really, really, really appreciate that. If you have anything to talk about that should be talked about for guys, head over to guyset.com, G U Y S E T.com. There is an ask me anything right there. You can ask me anything we talk about and it should be talked about. And I will do a full episode on it or included in the next episode of dear guys set where I answer all of the questions that guys are asking. And it's just a great way that other people can know that you're not alone in whatever you're experiencing. And there are probably so many other guys who are also wondering that experience and that going through that at the same time as you are too.

Josh Felgoise (36:01.097)

You can find daily blog posts on guyset.com about everything guys are asking across dating, career, mindset, everything, style, like really anything that guys are asking, I'm answering over there. It's kind of like an extension of what I do on here over there, like the guyset universe expanded. I think what is happening are

And there are so many other blog posts, so many questions that I've answered over there. So I think it's just a really great resource guide. If you're looking for more, you can watch this full episode on YouTube. can follow me on Instagram and tick tock at guys set podcast. Thank you so much. Listen to guys set a guy's guide to what should be talked about. And I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys.