Ruin The Friendship

If this is your first time here or if this is one of your first times listening to the podcast, first of all, thank you so much for being here. I'm honored that you gave me 30 minutes of your time to hear what I have to talk about. I hope I don't waste it and I hope you enjoy it and you come back next time. I'm Josh, I'm 25 years old and I'm here every single week, every single Tuesday.

to talk about what should be talked about for guys in their 20s. The whole purpose of this podcast is, as I said, to talk about the things that should be talked about. Because I realized about a year, two years ago, that there are so many podcasts for girls like this that are targeted to girls in their 20s, targeted to talking about the things that should be talked about, like relationships, and like dating, and confidence, and what to wear, and what to say, and...

what to do at the gym and just anything in terms of like health, wellness, relationships, style, just really anything that living on your own for the first time, like anything that encompasses your 20s, anything that you go through in your 20s, all the new experiences, all the shifts, all the things that we have to kind of go through alone and have to learn how to navigate on our own. And there's really nobody to

guide you through that or nobody to like kind of talk you through that or share perspectives or advice about it, unless you go out seeking it, especially for guys like unless you go out and talk to a friend about it, or you actively try and find something. And I was the type of person that was actively trying to find something like I was looking for answers to the questions I had about what to wear going out or what to say when you walked up to a girl at a bar, which is the topic of this episode. So we're about to get into that one in one second, but

just a little bit more of a preface. I was looking for those answers or different advice or perspectives on those topics and I just couldn't find it because there was nobody doing it and there was nobody doing it that felt like it was targeted to somebody like me. So I started it and here we are, 123 episodes in and I think it's going pretty well and I'm really happy with what I've built so far and with what I've

Josh Felgoise (02:39.362)

been doing every single week. haven't missed a week of this and I won't ever miss a week of this. I love doing it and I love the kind of, I don't know, the people that have found this so far and the people that have reached out asking questions or saying like, hey, thank you for doing this or thank you for sharing your perspective on it. Like I don't claim to have all the answers at all and you'll hear me talk about that in a second because I did an episode really early on.

talking about this same topic I'm about to talk about walking up to girls at a bar and what to say, what to do, how to make it not awkward, how to not feel awkward, how to be more confident in that and in just in general. And I did that episode like, I don't know, maybe 10 episodes in, I was like, this is a topic that needs to be talked about because I want to hear it. I wish somebody was talking about it. And I don't think I gave the best advice on it. Like I don't think my perspective was

that informed at the time because I hadn't had a lot of experience with it. Like I was really new to the dating scene in New York and gaining my own confidence and walking up to a girl and saying, hi, I'm Josh, like nice to meet you. And I was still kind of experiencing that. I was still feeling awkward in it. So I just kind of think I shared more of like, hey, this feels awkward. Like I'm awkward with this too. This is uncomfortable. This is scary. Like this is something that...

is weird. think everybody feels weird in it and I'm just here to say that I feel weird in it too. And I don't think I gave a lot of really great advice in that episode, but that was a different time. It was a different perspective. I had different things to say then than I do now. And I think I now have a more informed perspective on that topic than I did then. And maybe in three years from now or in two years from now, I'll have an even different perspective or a more informed quote unquote perspective than I do now. And I think that's cool. And that's like

The coolest part about this thing is that my perspective can change and it can grow and it can evolve and that doesn't make that first first or so episode irrelevant or not important or less than it was just a different time and I had a different perspective and I now feel like I have something new to say on the topic and I feel like that's the coolest thing about all of us is we our perspectives change they develop they

Josh Felgoise (05:01.727)

evolve and they're completely allowed to and like that's cool and it's it's kind of awesome to have that old episode to look back on. think it's like episode 10 to look back on. I think I called it like how to talk to girls at a bar and I gave like an 11 minute episode that gave no advice. And I think somebody I was like it was one of the episodes that people had talked about because it was really early on when I was doing this and everyone was like what the fuck is he doing? And that's the totally separate topic of like having to

deal with like navigating all of that while trying to do something that you only believe in and other people are kind of like, what the fuck? Like he doesn't know what he's talking about because I just saw him up to girl to bar and he left and turned away because he got nervous or anxious. And then I saw him get rejected. Like I don't really know what the fuck he thinks he's talking about. And that's like a totally separate topic. But yeah, like that was my perspective at the time. And I was recently having a conversation with a friend.

About this same thing like he kind of said like what do you say when you walk up to somebody at a bar? Like what do you say when you walk up to a girl? Like how do I do that? How do I not feel so awkward? Because I feel like i'm going to I don't know like I feel like i'm going to either Ruin the night that i'm about to have because i'm gonna get rejected or i'm gonna get turned away or i'm gonna have to deal with like that rejection for the night or i'm gonna like make her night more awkward and then that's gonna be weird and

I just feel like it's easier to not in the for the most part like I feel like it's easier to not walk up to her and say something because then My night is the night that I thought I was gonna have and her nights the night that she thought she was gonna have and we both go our separate ways and we never Speak to each other. We never even know each other exists except I know she exists because I'm looking at her and I'm interested in her and I she's hot but like I'm not gonna go up to her because I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna say so I talk myself out of it and how do you do that? Like how do you?

walk up to somebody at a bar and or anybody anywhere. It doesn't have to be a bar. I'm just saying that's an example. How do you walk up to a girl and say hi without it feeling awkward? Like how do I gain the confidence to do that? How how do I do that? I don't want to bother them. I don't want to make it weird. I feel like it's gonna be weird like all the things that run through your head when you kind of have that thought that I want to go up to this person. I want to say hi. I want to say I think you're cute. I think you're attractive.

Josh Felgoise (07:26.167)

but it's just that like it's just easier to stay over here and not do that and hang out with my friends and get another drink and then get drunk and then go home and think about her and like what could have been if I said hi and that is the point of this episode. That's what I want to talk to you about today. That was a conversation I had with one with one of my friends recently and I think it's so cool that we had that conversation like we even talked about later how cool it was that we had that conversation and we were like

That was such a cool thing that we could just do and sit here and shoot the shit about what that was because that is the whole point of what I'm trying to do here is just create more conversation around the moments, the things that make you feel awkward or uncomfortable or weird, but you just don't talk about because they make you feel even weirder for having to say out loud. And I think it's awesome that we were able to do that. And like, I hope guys in general get to do that because even him getting to say that and me getting to respond being like

dude I feel the exact same way or I felt the exact same way before and here's what I think I do or what I did to get around that and what I recommend that you try and just have that like dialogue. So I wanna share what I think is a good kind of framework for how to talk to girls or how to walk, not talk to in general, but how to walk up to a girl that you don't know. Like how to put yourself out there, how to just say hi.

without the awkward, without the weird, without the uncomfortable. And by the way, as like a preface, it's always going to be a little weird, a little awkward, a little uncomfortable. Like you're never going to completely get rid of all of that. It's just, it's always going to be there. Walking up to somebody new, whether you're at a work event, whether you're at a, you're at, like an event that you don't know people at, walking up to somebody is kind of inherently like a weird thing to have to do, but.

You want to do because you want to get to know people you want to meet new people you want to say hi and you have that feeling in your head that you want to do this but you hold yourself back from it. So I'm going to talk about all of that the framework I think you can use for walking up to a girl and saying hi and I this has worked for me this has worked for some friends I pulled a couple friends talking about this and I everybody kind of had similar opinions or similar experiences.

Josh Felgoise (09:49.204)

with what has worked. Again, that's not to say this is all this will always work like I hope you don't use this and you're like fuck like fuck that Josh guy like that didn't work at all. Terrible advice. This is just some something you could try if you're in that headspace of like I want to talk to her but like I'm just not I'm not going to because I know it's not going to work out well like I want to talk to her but like I know I'm going to get rejected. So if you're there I think you should try this.

I always think it's good to start with a compliment. Walking up to somebody and saying like, hey, I think you're really pretty or hey, I really like this or hey, like that. I think a compliment, just one, like not going off and like, I like this and I like this and I think that's too much. Like just reel it back a little bit. I think one compliment is nice. Like, hey, like I like your laugh or hey, I thought you were really cute. I wanted to say hi. Like cute is a good one. Like that's a blanket compliment. Hey, I think you're really cute. I'll put that in the compliment category of walking up to somebody, giving them a compliment.

I also think you can just walk up to somebody and introduce yourself. I think like the art of saying hi I'm Josh nice to meet you is not dead. Like I think that is not a lost art and you can totally do that and say hi I'm Josh it's really nice to meet you I think you're really cute. I think that is something that you can always do or you can always fall back on because the first walk up the first initial like fuck what the fuck do I say to her my god my god that first walk up is the hardest part that's like the part that makes everybody feel uncomfortable like you're like

I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna say to her. I don't know her. She doesn't know me. I don't want her to be like that. That first walk up is the hurdle. That's like the hump you have to get over. So get out of your head. Like just get out of your own way with this stuff because for the most part she probably wants to say hi to you too. Like you're a catch.

Of course, let's make sure she's in the right scenario. So she's in a group of like 10 friends. I don't think that's the right scenario. I don't think that's the time to walk up to a girl and say, Hi, I'm Josh. Nice to meet you. I think you're really cute. I think if she's with like a friend or two, something like that, and you kind of catch her at a moment where like she's, I don't know, turned away or turned getting a drink, like one of those moments where you can walk up to her, find the moment where it's like

Josh Felgoise (11:58.54)

more natural, but I also just started watching how I met your mother last night, which is so, so funny. I'm on episode four of the first season. I've never seen it before. And in the first episode, the main character, Ted, is talking about like, I have to find the right moment. Like have to like get in here. I have to do this at the right time. And his other friend, Barney, just goes like, okay, okay, like stop. And then he taps the girl on the shoulder. He's like, how do you my friend Ted? And like that's his introduction. Like that's his thing to introduce.

So I think you could say to a friend like, can you wing man me? Like, hey, would you mind walking up to her and like introducing me or just being like, I have you met my friend? Like, I think that works. I think as funny as it sounds, like, that's not so bad. Like it is much more simple than we all make it. So simplify it all. Like take all of that out of it. I know I just even said like, maybe find the right moment. I don't know. Simplify it. Like as long as she's not in like a huge girl group and you're like totally just like going in like

Make it easier on yourself by making the timing feel better for you, but don't overthink the timing either. Like, just walk up and say, hi, hi, I'm Josh, nice to meet you. Hi, I think you're really cute. Like, it's as simple as that, and I think that there's not much more to it than that. Then I think you have to follow up with the question, because we were also talking about how like the second part is hard. So there's the first hurdle of like, what do I say when I look up to her? Like, oh my God, I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna say.

There's the first hurdle there. The second part is how do you follow that up? Because she's gonna say like, okay, so we'll role play it. Like after the hi, I'm Josh, nice to meet you. And she'll be like, hi, it's so nice to meet you too. I think you're hot, like, you know what mean? After that part of the conversation, like you then have to say something else. You can't just stay still like a scarecrow or a statue. And then like, that's not gonna work. Like she's gonna be like, all right, so you're mute. I'm gonna go this way. It sounded like it would have been cool, but.

I want I wish he said something else. So you have to follow that up with something else. You have to say something next. So the next thing I would do is ask her a question like as simple as that. So we have compliment question like that's the framework so far. And by the way it doesn't get much more complicated than that. Like I'm I'm purposefully giving like a really simplified framework for what to do because again we can make this all so big in our heads and the more we think about it and the more we kind of like manipulate the thing of like a

Josh Felgoise (14:21.291)

Oh, if I say this, she's gonna say this. And if I do this, she's gonna this. if I get rejected, like it's gonna ruin my night. And if she rejects me, it's gonna ruin her night. She's think about it, I'm gonna think about it, I'm gonna go home and think about the fact that like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

The question should be something simple, like something as easy as like, do you live around here? like, it's I mean, the joke is like, do you come here often? Like, that's not a bad question. Like, I don't think that's a terrible thing to say. Like, do you come to this bar a lot? Or, who are you here with? And then she's like, I'm here with my high school friends. Like, do you guys all live in the city? And she's like, yeah, like, we just we live together down the street like, like I live down here. How long have you lived here for? Like, I've lived here for a year and a half.

And then it kind of just snowballs from there. Like after the first question, you're in the conversation. And I also think that like you don't need to buy somebody a drink yet. Like I don't think you need to be like, can I buy you a drink or like, do you want to drink? I don't think you need to lead with that. I think it's so much better to have the flow of the conversation and see if she's into it.

Get the vibe of how the conversations going and how it's flowing Before you offer to buy her a drink because you don't get yourself in the situation Which I've been in before my friends have been I feel like everybody has been in before Where you buy somebody a drink and you talk for like two minutes and they're like it was really nice to meet you Thanks for the drink and you're like, well I just wasted 15 fucking dollars and now I feel rejected and now I'm upset like cut all of that out by making sure you get the vibe or be able to read the vibe before you go into the drink like

If the conversation's going really well and you're talking for 10 minutes, like, you're probably thirsty. You probably want to drink by now. Then I think it's the right time to offer her a drink and like keep the conversation going because that's a way to keep it going. And like, I don't know, you're probably at, um, um, again, this is like for bar. I don't, I'm, I'll think of other scenarios too, but like, this is for when you're out or at a pregame, a pregame to like the supply store. Like, did you want to grab a drink over here? Like in the corner, you know what I mean? Like a party, wherever you are.

Josh Felgoise (16:44.35)

So don't lead with can I get you a drink because you don't know her, she doesn't know you, like don't waste your money yet. Like not that it's gonna be a waste, that's not gonna be a waste. But don't lead with that, lead with the question. So some good questions, some good options to start with, like do you live around here, do you come here often, or not do you come here often, but do you come to this bar a lot, or how do you know so and so? Like if you're at a pregame or a party, like how do you know the host? Like that's such a good question.

Everybody's asking if that's around because they have nothing else to say to each other or they have no other intro if they don't know somebody else. That's like the greatest icebreaker. Like, how do know this person? Or so you could also be like, who are you here with? Like, how do you know them? How long have you lived here for? What is, and then you can go from there and there to like, what is your favorite place to eat around here? Or like, what are some of your other favorite bars that you go to? Or what are...

I don't know, like what are the activities like to do? I just joined a league recently. Like, have you done any of those? Like, I don't know any of those types of questions, conversation starters that you can think of on the fly. Like, obviously you have to hit none of these topics. Like these are just a leading question. Like the first thing to ask. Don't be in your head thinking like, I have to ask her where she's from, who she's with.

You don't have to hit any of those. You just have to pick one, whichever one you are feeling most confident in asking, whichever one you feel like is kind of like the best for the moment or the vibe. Go with that. So like the easy three are like, do you live around here? How long have you lived in the city for? Who are you here with? It easily leads into the rest of it, which is kind of similar to my advice for like a first date or what to talk about on a first date. They're all kind of cut from the same cloth of like starter intro questions to ask.

and then let it snowball from there. Like if you're on a first date, you don't have to know after the first date if she has siblings, if she studied math in college, if she's good at math, you don't have to know any of like the things that you're gonna know soon because at some point soon when you get to know them more, you'll get to know more about them. Like there's nothing you have to hit. There's no topic or no check boxes you have to check. These are just things to kind of get the conversation going and flowing.

Josh Felgoise (18:58.557)

Because it can be hard, like it is awkward. is, you don't know this person, they don't know you, like it can be hard to start it. So put these in your back pocket as like easy conversation starters or easy things to start with and get it going. Once you kind of have that conversation and you're happy with the direction it's going, as I said, then you can offer to like get the drink or buy the drink and keep it going from there. But you'll really...

much you'll pretty much know really much you'll pretty much know if they're interested at this point because they're still engaging in the conversation you'll know by body language you'll know by like how interested or how kind of energized they are with the conversation how much they're responding like it's not hard to tell if somebody's interested or not in general like i think we all

There's this doesn't require spidey senses to be like she's interested in this conversation and she wants to continue this There's no big puzzle you have to put together to know this like you'll pretty much know within the first couple minutes of the conversation if she's interested and if you're interested also it matters just as much if you're interested like You have to also want to continue this conversation if you walk up to this girl and she's boring and the conversation sucks And she's not fine that much

You can also just be like, all right, it was really nice to meet you. Like you are not stuck here at all. You are not trapped in this conversation. You don't owe her a drink. You don't have to continue this. Like you guys don't owe each other anything. Like it's as simple as that. You don't have to stay there and neither does she. So I hope you also are analyzing if you're interested too, as much as you're like, is she interested? Like, does she want to stay in this conversation? Am I keeping her here? Like, no, you're not.

Are you also enjoying it? Are you having a good time? Are you enjoying this conversation? Do you feel like it's going well? So both of those things matter like so much and we only ever really consider the other side like fuck like does she like me? he? Do you like her? Are you interested? Is she as enjoyable to talk to as she is pretty or is she just pretty? That's okay too. Like all right, whatever it is, it is like it doesn't there's no there's no algorithm. There's no like thing you have to doesn't matter like you'll you'll know.

Josh Felgoise (21:11.826)

If you're interested, don't know if she's interested. And then I think you can continue from there. Like if you're interested, if she's interested, then I think you could also, you should ask for her number. Like I think we're a little too old for the Snapchat or the Instagram at this point. I think you should ask for a number and I'm 25. So I'm speaking for myself at 25. if you like going for, yeah, I think it's the numbers, the right thing to do. So yeah, because yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not even going to quantify qualify that like

ask for her number and then be like, hey, like I'd love to get your number. Would you want to go out sometime? Of course she'll say yes. Like you're a fucking catch. She wants to go out with you. Of course she does. So then you'll be like, hey, like, do you want to go out sometime? She'll be like, yeah, absolutely. Be like, all right, I'll text you. Like, it was really nice to meet you. Like, I'm excited to see you soon. Bang. Done. As simple as that. Like you did it. I want to go back to the mindset going into this conversation.

I talked about it a little bit in the beginning of like how you can talk to yourself going into this and how we can be so critical of ourselves and so like mean to ourselves that like closed off so negative that she is going to reject me like we're so negative about what the outcome is going to be before we even walked up to her before we've even given ourselves the chance to build up the confidence and walk up to her like

We are so negative and critical of ourselves before anything else. She's going to reject me. She's going to say no and laugh in my face. She's going to throw a drink in my face. Like none of those things are going to happen by the way. Like if you go in with that mindset, you make it so much bigger than it is. You make it this huge thing when it doesn't have to be like it's really as simple as the framework I created like the compliments us introduction into a question. If that all goes well.

Do you want to go out sometime? Can I get your number? Like it's one, two, three. That's like the whole framework of it. Cut out the first step that we always do to ourselves of like, she's going to reject me. Like this isn't going to work well. Like she's not going to be interested in me because why would you? Of course she's going to be interested in you. You're a fucking catch. As I just said, like, come on, have some confidence in yourself. Have a little bit of like.

Josh Felgoise (23:34.499)

I'm fun. Like I'm a great person. Like I am super enjoyable to be around and she would be so lucky to have me around. Like she would benefit from having me in her life. Like this, am, I'm fun. Like I'm cute. Like you have to have that kind of mindset. I'm laughing because I think it's funny to say out loud, but like you have to have that mindset of like who knows what's going to happen and regardless, it's going to be all right. Like if I get rejected, if she says no,

It's gonna be alright. Like, I'll go back to my friends where I was just at. She'll go back to her friends where she was just at. And that's it. It's just that. Like, she might be interested because I'm cool and she has very good reason to be interested. Like, you know what? She would be so lucky. have that mindset a little bit more. Like, we always shift to this channel of negativity and like, I'm gonna get rejected. She's not gonna be interested.

This isn't gonna work. If you walk up with that like shoulders down mindset that I'm doing right now of like, this isn't gonna work versus the mindset of like, she has such good reason to be interested in me. Like I'm great, like I'm fun, she'd be lucky. Your shoulders are instantly up more. You already have that charisma and that confidence. Like there's such a difference in the two mindsets of walking up to somebody, one with the hunched down shoulders of like, it's never gonna work.

Versus like the, hey, how are you? Nice to meet you. Like, it's such a big difference and the person can see it and you can see it. I'm not saying be cocky, I'm not saying be arrogant and like pompous. I'm saying like be confident and that's something that I can absolutely work on. That is something that every single person I think can work on. Because we give ourselves like this, like we say like we are not confident. Like we tell ourselves that over and over again.

And imagine if we told ourselves that we were confident over and over again, like how that would change us, how that would change the way we think about ourselves. And again, if she's not interested and she rejects or rejects you or turns you away and says like, it was nice to meet you, but like, I'm not that interested or it was nice to meet you, but I have a boyfriend or it was nice to meet you, but I'm talking to somebody else at this time. Like whatever she says, whatever the outcome is, it's going to be all right. That's not going to ruin your night. It's not going to ruin the night you're having. It's a moment in the night.

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It's a speck of dust that you can literally dust away. It is five minutes of your five hour night. That's it. Like it is not a night ruiner. It is not something you have to leave and be like, this night sucked because that girl rejected me or she wasn't interested. Like it can be as much as it was one thing that happened in a big night and it was a lot of fun the rest of the time. This was one thing we have a tendency to pick on the one thing and

You know like ruminate over that thing that bothered us that one moment in this huge night We just had and feel awkward about it or get the Sunday scaries about that one moment. Whereas it's not that deep It's just one thing you had you you had you got the confidence to walk up to this person and it didn't work out like alright like fuck Yeah, you walked up to this person and said hi like that's a win. That's that's awesome. Like that's confidence and if you go in with that positive mindset and that confidence like

It's going to have a better outcome than otherwise because you're also going to leave with that confident mindset. Like if it doesn't go well, you'll have that still confident shoulders up thing of like, okay, onto the next one. Like I'm going to try again. I'm going to keep shooting my shot. I'm going to try. I'm going to try with the next person. I think is attractive. Like I'm going to continue shooting my shot because why the fuck not? And I'm going to say hi because I think she's cute.

And I think she's going to think I'm cute because I'm cute. Like it's it's that mindset that I want you to kind of inhibit or have. And it's of course easier said than done. Like I know that I know it's easier to than done. But at the same time, it's also not like it also is that split second decision of like I'm going to go up and say hi. Like I'm going to go do this. I'm going to put myself out of my comfort zone and do this. It's the split second decision.

of confidence versus shyness and you either know or you never know like there's two kind of options for every split second decision that you have and when you end up turning away and being like, it'd be easier not to like I'm gonna go stay with my friends versus like I'm gonna go up and say hi because who knows what's gonna happen. You either know or you never know like I would always rather know I would always rather shoot my shot and

Josh Felgoise (28:16.614)

That's not to say that I've always had this mindset, and that's still not to say I always have this mindset every time I go to do something or meet someone or say hi and walk up. It's not easy, but it's simple. I have said that a lot in the past couple weeks because I really do believe that of like, I would rather know than never know. I would rather put myself out there and know what the outcome is than never know what it could have been.

And I think that applies to so many situations. I think it's it really applies to this one. And there's a Taylor Swift song that came out this past weekend called Ruin the Friendship from her new album. And she says, advice is always ruin the friendship better that than to regret it for all time. She goes on to say, my advice is always answer the question better that than to ask if all of your life. And I love that. Like

I would always rather know than not know. And like, I've been in some situations like what she's saying in the song. And I think this also applies to if you have a girl that's a friend and you catch feelings for her because like you probably did and you probably will and you probably have. I think the same kind of sentiment that I'm saying throughout this whole episode applies to that too. Like you would rather say something than know how they feel.

then never know. Like I would rather put myself out there and be like, I want to be more than friends than not. Because if it doesn't work out, then you know. Like I would rather ruin the friendship than never know and have this feeling of like, I fucking should have said something. Like now it's too late and I wish I said something. And even if it doesn't work out, like that's okay. Like I would still always rather know. And my perspective has gone back and forth on that.

Because I have ruined a friendship or two throughout college and after like all of this. I'm sure you've been in a similar boat too. and I kind of went back and forth like, should I have said something like, fuck, I fucked this up. Like, like, fuck this. I really ruined this and I ruined the friendship. Like, I would still looking back at that, I would so much rather have said something unknown than never know. Like I'm so happy that I said something.

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and then I put myself out there and I put my feelings on the table, then sitting where I am today being like, does she like me? Like, does she feel the same way I did? And I would rather have had that experience of like, like it didn't work out and I'm not, not the friend I used to be with that girl. Like I loved what I had with her, but like I wanted more than what it was and I felt more than what it was and

After a little while, she didn't and that's okay. And like, I was definitely sad. I was devastated. Like I was maybe heartbroken. But I would still rather have known how she felt than never know. I'm still so happy that I put my feelings on the table and said something than if I never did. And I was sitting here today being like, does she like me the way that I did? Like, is that how she felt? Or did I completely misread that?

sit here overthinking and ruminating on what that relationship was or what it wasn't and all of those things like my advice is always ruin the friendship like Walk up to the girl and say hi introduce yourself say how you feel like The worst that happens is they say no the worst that happens is they reject you easier said than done. Yes and no like

That's the worst that happens. And you leave there knowing you put your feelings on the table, knowing you said something, which I think is so much better than leaving there being like, fuck, I should have said something. Fuck, I wish I said something to that person. I will now never know what they think because I will never have the chance to say something again because I may never see her again versus I said something and it didn't work out. Okay, at least I said something, at least I put myself out there. Or I said something.

And it worked out and now I'm seeing her again next week. I said something and I've been seeing her for a month now or a year. Like if I hadn't said something, if I hadn't put myself out there, if I hadn't asked for her number, who knows what could have happened? I would always rather know. And I think you would too. So I think using this framework or these these three things of the introduction slash the compliment into the question.

Josh Felgoise (33:01.602)

into the if it went well, like I would love to see you again get asking for the number like using that framework. I think you would rather know too. And I think these three things make that experience that is inherently awkward and uncomfortable and weird and can feel so you can build so much of it up in your head and make this thing so big like using those three things. I think this makes this so much easier. I think this is something that I wish I had had.

before I think this is something that I would have helped me before and I really hope it helps you too and I hope that you can apply this the next time you're standing there being like I wish I said something or I want to say something but I don't know if I should apply these three things and get out of your own way I think you'll be happier for it and I think you'll be happy that you did

That is the episode. Thank you so much listening to guys set a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh. I'm 25 years old and I'm here every single week, every single Tuesday to talk about what should be talked about for guys in their twenties. If you liked this episode, I really hope you did. Please like subscribe to this podcast. Five stars on review. That's one, two, three, four, five stars, not four, not that you know, it's five stars. Thank you. I really, really, really appreciate that. If you have anything on me to talk about that should be talked about for guys in their twenties, head over to my website, guyset.com G U Y S E T dot com.

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