I Don’t Know What I Want To Do With My Career (And That's Normal)

Hi guys, welcome back to GuySet, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I had a moment the other night that I think some of you, if not most of you, will really relate to. Actually, I've had this moment many times within the past year or two years of my life. And it's a moment in which I don't feel like I'm doing the right thing with my career.

or I don't really know what I want to be doing with my career. I don't know if what I'm doing is right, what I'm doing is the right path, if this is the path I should be on, if this is my purpose, if this is what I'm supposed to be doing. And it's the moment when you leave the office and think, what am I doing? Like, why am I doing this? This doesn't feel like very good. This doesn't feel like it's supposed to be what I'm doing. I've had such a bad day at work.

I don't love the people I'm working with, I don't love what I'm working on, I don't feel driven by it, like, what am I doing? It's also the moment when you feel burnt out and you feel like you have nothing left to give and you feel out of sorts and kinda out of whack. It's the moment you start looking at Indeed for new jobs. It's the moment you look on LinkedIn and see your friend's promotion post.

All of those moments are these kind of moments that lead to uncertainty where you're unsure of what you're doing or unsure of if what you're doing is right for you. And I personally put an immense amount of pressure on myself to find and discover my purpose for what I'm doing in my life and what I'm supposed to be doing. Whether that be in my work or in my life.

And this has been a conversation that I've had with myself over the past six months to a year, where whenever I felt really unmotivated at my job, I'm kind of like, is this right for me? Is this what I should be doing? And I'll think to myself, you know, I'm pretty good at what I'm doing, and that's humbly. Like, I do feel like I'm really good at my job. So why isn't that enough? And should that be enough? Why do I not feel fulfilled by this?

Am I even supposed to be fulfilled by my job? Is this just something I'm supposed to be doing to make money, to make a living? Do I need to feel a purpose? Do I need to feel fulfilled? And if I don't, does that mean I'm doing the wrong thing? How do I know when it's time to move on from the job? How do I know when I should be looking for something new? And what should I even look for? How do I even start looking?

What should I do next? Am I just not giving this enough or am I not giving this my all? And if I was, would I then feel more fulfilled or would I then feel like I'm enough or I then feel some sort of purpose? Is it me or is it the job? And I think these questions become even bigger and even louder when you look at LinkedIn and you see your friends or your peers from college or from high school.

update their profile with a promotion post and you click into their profile and you see that they've been at a job for four or five years now and you think am I doing something wrong? Like should I have done that? Should I be on a path like they are? Like it looks to me like they know what they're doing. It looks to me like they know what they want to be doing and they've figured out their purpose or their thing. Why don't I have that? And that feeling becomes amplified when

you see stuff like that or you see a person post that they got a new job and it's their dream job at their dream company and these kind of uncertain feelings or these unsure feelings about what you're doing or what you're supposed to be doing just kind of get bigger and bigger and I'm not saying that this is all comparison I don't look at LinkedIn all the time and compare myself to everybody but I think when you do

those voices in your head become louder and louder when you see somebody who's apparently successful already or you see somebody who's starting to find their success or find their path and it feels like you may not have that or it feels like you may not know what you want to do and I don't expect you to leave this episode with all of those questions answered. Frankly, I can't say if you will leave with any of them answered but what I will share with you

might make you feel a little more understood in that uncertainty. I'm gonna tell you two stories of conversations I've had with two people who are in very different stages of their lives to support this understanding of career uncertainty. These both made me feel less alone in all of this and I think they will make you feel that way too. Because what I've learned is that

Having a real and honest conversation about this, about career uncertainty, with somebody absolutely does make you feel better about not knowing what you want to do, or if what you're doing is right, or if what you're doing is your purpose. Knowing that somebody else feels that way too, or has an inkling of that feeling, just makes you feel more seen. Even if it's a one-sided conversation with me today, or whenever you get to listen to this.

And for the most part, what I've learned is that I think almost everybody feels this way too. What you don't see on LinkedIn is when people experience these moments. The behind the screen of when they actually got laid off, but they say they left. The mornings and nights spent searching job boards and reaching out to people to ask for connections or leads.

Asking if hey, do you know anybody who'd be interested in me doing this or hey, do you have a connection to this thing? Nobody shares those parts because they're ugly and they're tired and they're anxiety ridden Nobody likes to share those moments when they're unsure when they're unhappy when they feel like they don't have a path when they feel like they don't know what to do So that's why I'm here. No one likes to talk about what they had to do to get there

They just like to talk about when they eventually did get there. No one likes to share this middle part where it's not the beginning, but it can sometimes feel like the end. When it's not your first job and it's also maybe not your second, but you still don't know what you want to do. And this is also for if it's your first job or your second job. What I've learned is that career uncertainty really doesn't go away.

And I'm not saying that to scare you. I'm saying this to let you know that you might actually be a lot more okay than you think you are. There might be a lot more people in your office or in your network or in your connections or in your friends or in your peers that also have no idea what they want to do. And it may look like they do. And that's kind of the hard part about this is that it looks like everybody has it together when in reality,

I feel like nobody really does. I've had conversations with older coworkers and younger coworkers, and to me it kind of feels like nobody is really certain if this is what they're always going to be doing, or if this is what they always want to do. If this is where they'll be in a year or even six months. It kind of feels like everybody is flying by the seat of their pants. From what I've gotten in the past

few years of working in corporate jobs and working at startups and working at bigger companies. My understanding is that nobody knows really what they're doing. Everybody is just kind of acting like they do and faking it until they make it. And what does make it even mean here really? It just means looking like you have it a little bit more together. I had a conversation with one coworker from one of my previous jobs that

really made me realize this, that nobody is certain in what they're doing. This person has kids, they've had previous jobs, and for all intents and purposes, intents and purposes, not intents and purposes, intents and purposes, they have a pretty established career at this point. They're an established person, they're not young, they're not old, but they're in that middle ground where you're like, that's a person, that's a fully formed human. Their brain's fully developed, they have children, they have a house, they-

have a 401k and a mortgage and all the shit you're supposed to have by that time. But by the end of that conversation, I started to understand that this person was also kind of flying by the seat of their pants. That conversation made me feel so much better for being in the position I was in and not just because I'm younger and I have more time to figure it all out. Not really that at all.

But because it made me realize that maybe most people actually just don't have it all together or know what they're doing or what they want to be doing, they're just kind of doing it. And that doesn't mean that that person or they aren't successful or happy or content, but it might mean that you are in the same position as them. Which gives you a sense that you're not as lost as you think you are.

in your early 20s, your late 20s, in your early 30s, in your late 30s, maybe you're actually ahead if this is a conversation you're having or thinking about or listening to. Maybe you're actually ahead of the game right now.

I don't want this to be a doom and gloom conversation that you'll never figure it out or what the fuck is the point of all of this then. Just because I learned that that person doesn't have it nearly as together as it looks like does not mean that they aren't a content or happy or successful person. It just means that they're also unsure. They also have this same career uncertainty. They also

don't know if this is what they want to be doing or if they've found their thing or their purpose. And that doesn't necessarily mean that you can't be happy or content. Those two things aren't like one in the same. They are two separate things. There might be a day that you feel like this is exactly what you want to do and you're super content and that moment may last for a while, but that moment may also be fleeting.

It may come and go. You might have it one day and you might lose it the next. Maybe the point of this is to realize that that doesn't have to determine if you're happy or sad, if you're having a good day or a bad day. Maybe this gives you an opportunity to seek out new things that bring you joy or purpose. Knowing that

Every single day, you're not going to be certain, and some days you might be, and some days you absolutely won't be. Knowing that and bringing that mindset with you into everything you do might just be, like, the helping hand here. Knowing that you don't have to have it figured out right now or maybe ever gives me a sense of... I feel okay. Like, I feel like what I'm doing might be okay.

And if I follow my gut and if I follow my intuition into the next thing or if I know that this thing isn't right but I start to figure out what I want to do next, I decide the things that I like doing here and the things that I don't like doing here, I decide on the things that are bringing me a sense of joy or a sense of purpose here and the things that aren't and I follow that one and stop doing the other one,

Maybe that's the whole point of this and you don't have to be so certain. You don't have to have all of the answers. I had another conversation with this person who I went to college with who was a few years older than me who reached out because they wanted to talk to me. They randomly texted me because they were interested in what I was doing and wanted to pick my brain. And I was like me when they reached out.

And we proceeded to talk for like 30 minutes and shared career advice and our own career uncertainties back and forth. What we had done, what we are doing and what we're looking for based on what we think we know. And I started that conversation much like this one by saying, I'm not sure if I have any answers to your questions, but I'll share what I know and what I think I know and what I have learned. And I think that's enough.

The advice I shared with them that I want to share with you follows this. The person said to me, I want to leave my job after four years there and I just feel like I've done everything I can and it's ran its course and there's not a lot of room for me to grow or move forward or progress. I'm at the highest position I could be here and I just feel like I've done everything I can here.

They said, I'm not sure what I wanna do next, so I'm talking to people who I think are doing interesting things. Again, I said I was incredibly flattered that they reached out to me, and I hoped that they would leave this conversation with something, but I can't guarantee it. And I started by saying, what you're doing now is I think the best thing you can do. Not only because it's the best way to get advice, like one-on-one talking to people and having conversations, but also because now you know that like,

that person might have looked to me thinking I was doing well or feeling successful or had some things figured out and from that conversation they probably also realized that I'm also figuring it out. I'm also growing as I go and I don't have all the answers I don't have it all figured out and that probably gave them a sense of understanding and a sense of feeling seen in that much like my conversation with that older coworker.

I also said to them, it's not only just like the best way to get advice, one on one, but it's also a way to get it out there and get it known that you're looking for something. So now I know or somebody else knows that you are looking for this thing. So if I hear that there's this opening or I hear somebody talking about this thing, I have now spent 30 minutes talking to this person and we've developed a deeper connection than we had before.

I would then point them in that direction or I'd point the person in their direction. And I followed that by saying, talk to as many people as you can doing things you're interested in. Reach out to all of them because the worst that happens is they don't respond. And the best that happens is you have a conversation and then a connection. So I want to share that advice with you.

If you're in this career uncertainty phase or in a place where you aren't sure or you don't know, talk to as many people as you can who you're interested in what they're doing. Leverage your connections.

Leverage the people you've met or the people they know. Reach out and say, hey, I'd love to chat with you about this thing you're doing, or I'd love to chat with you about what you're working on or what you've been doing or your career so far. I'm just looking for advice. People love to share advice. They love to share the things they've learned because it gives them a sort of purpose and a sense of legacy that they're helping somebody else. They're helping somebody out. So reach out.

and the literally the worst that happens is they don't respond like people love to share advice. They love to share the things they've learned in their career or over time because it gives them a sort of purpose. It gives them a sense of legacy knowing that they're helping somebody out or they're sharing their wisdom or what they've learned. Secondly, I asked the person what they liked most from their job. Kind of similar what I said to you earlier and what they were best.

I said, what I did and what I would do if I was in this position is to make a list of the most valuable or most important things I do at my current job and also decide what I like best. These are the best indicators of what you should do next or what you should step into next. It may not be the answer to your purpose in your career or the answer to the career uncertainty you're feeling, but it definitely is a good step forward in that direction.

And I think it's the best thing we can do at this time in our lives. Just keep laying the groundwork and the bricks beneath us. Keep... The road might take a few diversions and a few crooked turns, but we'll have the brick laid beneath us and behind us to find that direction again. This person then told me the things that they thought that they liked and the things that they were best at and the things that added the most value to the company.

And I said, well, that's great because now you're you're you've narrowed down what you're looking for into a category. So, for example, if they liked marketing, I'd go deeper into that and ask them questions about what is it about marketing specifically? Is it ads? Is it working with partners and brands? Is it whatever the fuck? Then you can narrow down into the actual position you're looking for instead of just looking for marketing broadly. Like if you're looking for marketing, you're going to have a really hard time because there's

thousands of jobs within market not thousands. There's just too much. It's too big of a too broad. So you have to narrow down into the actual thing you want to do and then decide what title to look for based on your level of experience or based on the time you've spent working between like analyst and head. You're not going to apply for an analyst role if you've been working for four years and you're not going to apply for a head role if you've been working for one year. That is super confusing in the beginning when you're first applying for stuff like

It sounds self-explanatory, but when you're looking through a lot of jobs, I think it's kind of like, I don't know which one to apply for. And nobody tells you, like nobody is there to be like, hey, don't apply for that one, apply for that one. So like just as like a base level thing, analyst and specialist and all of those types of titles are for your first second job. And then as you get more experienced to become like head director, all these different companies have different names for them and different like.

stupid titles, titles make no sense. They mean nothing at the end of the day, except for like within the company within your ranking. But like they changed based on company, they changed based on where you work. So but it is important for where to start. Then I shared advice that I was given when I was looking for a new job. And it was to make a list of to 20 companies that you're interested in working in, then find

companies that are similar to them. It's kind of like when Instagram, if you, you follow an account on Instagram and it suggests like, hey, you may also like these accounts. Find a bunch of different companies within the realm of the companies that you're interested in working in. Determine the position that you can do and that you're qualified for, and then reach out to the people within those companies doing those jobs or the hiring managers at those companies.

I think you're going to have better luck reaching out to people directly and sending them LinkedIn messages or sending them emails than just cold applying because you're cold applying against tons of the people who don't have any connection. So if you can create a small little connection for yourself, that's a little great way, not little, but a great way to get a leg up over other people. The most important question here and the thing you have power behind or that you are in control of is figuring out what you're good at.

and narrowing down what that title or position or positions actually are. What you think you want to do and what you think you're really good at. Those are the two things that converge that I think you can start to determine what you should do or where you should go in your career in your next job based on the answer to those two questions. What you think you want to do and what you're actually good at. It's kind of where your skill and your purpose meet in the middle.

You don't need to think so big, but feel free to if you want to. If you want to start by thinking about what you want to build or what your purpose is, you can absolutely start there. But I think a lot of the time that comes later. I think you discover it with time and through lots of different experiences, through taking yourself out of your comfort zone and putting yourself in places or positions you didn't expect that you would end up in or you didn't ever see for yourself.

Personally, I know this sounds dramatic because I'm 25 years old, but sometimes I feel like I don't have enough time to do everything I want to do. So instead of living in that uncertainty or that fear or that feeling that I don't have enough time for everything, I just go in the direction I'm pulled towards. If there's something in my gut telling me that what I'm doing is right, then I'll trust it. And same for when it's not, and for when it's time to try something new.

And that feeling when it comes up, it's so much easier to just push down and be like, actually, I don't really want to deal with you right now. Like I, I know you're there, but like, let's talk in a month or two, because I'm not in a place to change up my entire life right now. Hey, I know you're there. I see you, but I don't want to talk to you right now. I don't want to deal with you right now. Come back in a month or so when I'm ready for that, because that's the easy way, right? Like it's so much easier to be like, no, go back down. Like stop it. Stop.

I know that I probably should leave. know I should probably start looking for something new. I know in my gut or I feel like I'm ready for something new. want a new challenge. I want a new understanding of what my purpose might be. I want to develop something new. I want to gain a new skill. I want to try something new. But it's so hard. It's so hard to acknowledge that and then put yourself on that path because like it's not easy and your

actively jumping into unknown or you're jumping into something that you don't know the answer to or what is going to happen from there or if it's going to work or if you're going to find something or if you're gonna get hired if you're gonna get that next job or if you're gonna just be stuck in this application zone for a while and you're gonna be stuck in that really messy middle part where you're applying in the morning and in the night or you're reaching out to people and you're talking to people and you're making connections and you're trying to all this shit that like it can be super miserable

So it's so much easier to stay in the easy and to stay where you are and to stay put when that voice comes up when you feel that way. And it's okay for it to make sense in some seasons of your life and not in others. And you may not always feel that way too. Like, progress isn't linear. Purpose isn't linear. I think that maybe you aren't supposed to have all of the answers.

I think that maybe it's a good thing to be uncertain about your career or your purpose or what you're meant to do. I think that maybe it's normal that some days it doesn't feel right and some days it does. So if you're there right now, maybe that's a good thing. Maybe that's a good place to be. I think a lot of the answers to these questions

Exist within that uncertainty That is the episode thank you so much for listening to guys set a guy's guide to what should be talked about I'm Josh I'm 25 years old and I'm here every single week every single Tuesday to talk about what should be talked about for guys if You like this episode. I really hope you did. Please like subscribe give this podcast five stars. Let me read That's one two three four five stars not four not three not two not one. It's five stars. Thank you so much for that I really really really appreciate that

If you have anything you to talk about that should be talked about for guys, head over to my website, guyset.com, G-U-Y-S-E-T.com. There's an Ask Me Anything right there. I will answer anything you ask. I'll make a full episode of it. I'll make a blog post of it. I post blog posts every single day on guyset.com answering all the questions that guys are asking.

So if you are wondering about something, need an extra piece of advice, want someone else's opinion on it, if you don't know where to find an answer to something, that is what guyset is for. That is what I'm here to do. And I hope you find an answer or a piece of advice or a perspective. And I hope you, this either gave you another question or some sort of answer, or at least a feeling that you're not alone in all of this and that.

The people who you think have it all figured out might just be in the exact same place you're in, just at a different level or a different time in their life. And that also doesn't mean that they're not content or successful or happy, but it also means that you're doing okay. You might actually be doing a lot more okay than you think you are. You can watch this full episode on YouTube at guyset. You can follow me on Instagram and TikTok at the guyset and at guyset podcast. Thank you.

So much for listening to guyset, a guys guide to what should be talked about and I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys.