Hurry! Your Seasonal Depression is Lifting!

In the past few months, have you felt a little off? Like, from the stretch from November to now, have you felt a little lost or a little sad and have had no real reason to explain it?

You feel off, but there's no why behind it. Like, you can't really explain why you feel this way or why this is going on. You go to work in the dark and you leave the office and it's also dark out again. And there are like days when you do not even see the sunlight. Like, there are stretches of time where you haven't seen the sun and it's felt like it's been a really long time. And...

There are days where it just feels like this like cartoon rain cloud over you and there's no sign of it clearing up. Picture this, like picture a cartoon guy wearing a suit, like fixing his tie, kind of looking like slouchy and angry, like leaving the office. And it's sunny as he's about to leave the office, like he looks out the door and it's really nice out. And the moment he steps outside,

It starts to rain like it starts to pour. It's thundering and lightning and he is instantly drenched. He goes to open his umbrella that he has because he thought it was going to rain today, but it still hasn't. And the entire time he was in the office, it was sunny outside. But right, of course, when he steps outside, it starts to rain. So he opens the umbrella. He's already soaking wet. And right as the umbrella opens above him, the rain stops. So he starts to take a couple steps and he like, okay, he's like, I'll put the umbrella down. Like it's not raining anymore.

And the second he puts the umbrella down, the rain comes right again and it starts pouring on top of him. And this happens again and again until he gets to his car and he's like, you know what? Fuck it. Like at this point I'm over it. I'm going to put the umbrella down. I'm just already wet at this point. And the second he gets in the car, the rain stops again and it's sunny out. That is how I kind of explain what seasonal depression can feel like sometimes. Like that is what

Josh Felgoise (02:31.632)

I think is like the best visualization of what this feeling of the winter time can really feel like sometimes. Like, there's no sign of this gloomy energy or this gloomy energy clearing up. Like, you just kind of have to deal with it or be soaked by it in order to get through it. And there's no real explanation as to why it's raining or why it's gloomy out or why you feel this way. But then again, you start to understand that

it's gonna clear up at some point soon. Like you're going to get into that car and it's gonna get sunny out again. And this is how the winter time can feel. Like that is how this stretch of the long months from December to March can feel. Depending on where you are, I'm in New York City. So that is what the weather has been like. It's just been really cold and gloomy and it really does have an impact on your mood. And there is

science behind that there's psychology behind that and it's called seasonal depression and it's a real thing and I'm gonna get the definition of it because I want to give you the real kind of psychology or science behind it and not just like speak out of my ass by just saying it's a real thing again and again but like it really is and it's definitely become popularized as people have discovered it and everybody has discovered it for long time but like as people have talked about it more openly and

found it as a perfect way to describe feeling sad and depressed in the wintertime without reason. So let me get the definition of it for you. One second, hold on. Seasonal depression. The jingle, hold on. Seasonal depression, SAD, seasonal affective disorder is what they call it, SAD, is a type of depression occurring most commonly in late fall and winter characterized by low energy, hypersomnia, weight gain, and feelings of hopelessness.

Caused by reduced sunlight, altering biological clocks, and reducing vitamin D, serotonin, it is often treated with light therapy and medication. Blah, blah. Not blah, blah, blah, but like, you know what I mean. And the symptoms of it are like the winter and feeling low energy and sleeping too much, kind of craving carbs, irritability, or feeling angry, weight gain, and of course, there's a spectrum to this, right? Like,

Josh Felgoise (04:50.775)

What I'm talking about in this episode is not the type of depression that you need that you should, you know, talk to somebody for. If you're feeling, you know, to the point where it's helpless or to the point where you don't really know how to handle this on your own anymore. And it's really like overtaking you. That is the time where you should speak to somebody like that is the time where it is really important that you that you speak to somebody that you seek out a therapist or someone to talk to that has real knowledge behind this and can really, really help.

your specific case and scenario. I'm speaking more about the overwhelming feeling that I think a lot of people have during this time. But if it gets to a point where it feels uncontrollable, this is not that episode for that. And I don't have the degree for that. I wish I did because it would make this a lot easier if I could have like psychologist behind this podcast. But that's not what this is. This is just me talking about that. I've experienced this feeling for a lot of the winter time. And I

I experienced a change in it last week and I want to talk about that because it was a moment where it was there was like a two day stretch last week that the sun came out and it was like 70 degrees outside and I walked outside in a t-shirt and shorts and everything kind of lifted like I just got this immediate feeling of like happiness and hope and joy.

that I hadn't really felt in a minute and not that I'm like I've been helpless or that I've been joyless like that's not what I'm saying but there's there was a moment when it was sunny out that I was walking down the street that I was like holy shit I missed this feeling and I kind of like forgot about this feeling and it's such an amazing thing to experience when that comes back and it felt like this seasonal depression or this kind of like overwhelm or this kind of like

darkness or this sadness kind of just lifted and it has since come back the weather has gone back down not to say that I'm like hopeless and sad again but it has the weather has gone back to gross again but there was that moment in the middle of this where it all lifted and I think that was a really cool moment to discuss and to dissect

Josh Felgoise (07:04.336)

And that's what I want to talk about this episode. I want to talk about that moment and how we can harness that moment and the energy we might have experienced in that moment and bring that with us into the rest of this time where it may not be as joyous and hopeful that it may feel like you don't have a reason behind the way you're feeling and you're kind of just sad and like tired and you know, I choked on it, sorry. You know, like all of these things that come up that you're like, I don't know why I'm feeling this way, but I am.

And that little moment, those one or two days that I was like, whoa, this is so nice out, how to bring that energy with you forward and how to kind of harness it. And first of all, I think being able to define shit is like half of the battle. Like being able to define the way you're feeling and say, like, I don't know why I'm feeling this way, but it is okay because there is a perfectly explainable reason as to why I'm feeling this way does make you feel a little bit better.

in it and a little bit less alone in it. Like being able to say to yourself, you know, I'm feeling kind of sad today, but it might be just because of the weather. Like there doesn't really need to be a reason behind this. And it might just be because it's really dark out and I haven't seen the sun in a while and I haven't gotten to see my friends and like all these different things that start to come up that like you kind of spiral into it. It's nice to be able to be like, a lot of people are probably feeling this way right now. Like this is probably an experience that a lot of people are experiencing.

A lot of people are probably a little bit sad or a little bit lost right now. And it might just be because it's dark out and it might just be because I haven't seen the sun in little while. And it might just be because I my energy is down and the energy around me is down and there's not a lot of people outside and it's dark and it's cold and I don't even want to go outside. Like that is a good and explainable reason as to why you are feeling this way and being able to define it and kind of give it a like here is a potential reason.

Is really nice and it does make you feel less alone and at least it made me feel less alone and it made me feel a little bit better for feeling that way even though it didn't uplift it. It didn't just go away because I was like, here's the definition. Here's a reason but it did kind of ease it. It did make it a little bit easier to sit in and to kind of exist in and and I want to say one more time like if you're feeling like it's at a point where it's debilitating or you've kind of lost control of this like

Josh Felgoise (09:26.456)

That is a great time to talk to somebody and it is the time to talk to somebody and there's a stigma still behind therapy for guys. It's definitely less now and I think like there are a lot more guys seeing therapists. I just had Robert Dugonion who's an incredibly successful author, New York Times bestseller who talked about seeing a therapist for a really long time and talked about being on medication and I think conversations like that and a conversation I had with my friend Gabe a little while ago, I'll find the episode name, I believe it was just called therapy with Gabe Fennell.

conversations like that are kind of opening the gates a little bit more to therapy and to these types of kind of conversations or stigmatized things that guys don't talk about. But the, those types of things are giving it a little bit more of a way and a little bit more of a here's how to talk about this or here is somebody that you may not even think would experience this or deal with this. And here's him talking about this. Robert Tagone. I'm going to talk about right now is a.

60 something year old guy 60 something year old man who is open about his struggle with mental health. That's amazing I just watched Noah Khan who's I'm sure you know who Noah Khan is Talk about that in his documentary. He's gonna talk about his struggles with mental health and body dysmorphia And it's the most vulnerable he's ever been but the reason he's putting out even though he's scared to put it out is that he knows it will help somebody or he hopes that it will help somebody you know like deal with that conversation a little bit easier or

not struggle as much to be honest about it with themselves. And like that is so fucking cool. Like it is so cool that we have male role models and older guys that are trying to destigmatize this or just sharing their experience in hopes that it will help somebody else. Like that to me is such an improvement. It's not everything. It's not it's not just like now guys are comfortable to talk about therapy or go to therapy or just it's like open to the floodgates for it. But it's definitely a step in the right direction. So

I just wanted to like one more time say that if that is something, if this is a feeling that you've had for a long time and you just kind of can't get out of it and it feels like you're really stuck in a deep pit or a deep well and you can't climb to the top or you don't see a top, like there is a help. There is, there is resources. There are people out there that, that can help you and get you out of that. And, talking to a professional that can really help you work through whatever that is will hope you hopefully help you solve that.

Josh Felgoise (11:50.751)

So again, that is not what this is. That's like the last preface or the last kind of like, this is not that cautionary, know, whatever the fuck. Sorry, my leg cracked. Okay, and as I was saying, it felt like this instant lift in my mood when the weather changed. Like when the sun came out and I was able to walk around in shorts and a t-shirt, which is the most freeing feeling in the world, and my God, I missed that for so long. I feel like I was immediately more confident and my shoulders were back more and my head was held higher and I was just already in this

better mood than I had been for the past four months and I really do think that the weather has a real effect on your mood like when and the sunlight and like the amount you're getting outside and seeing it and this term seasonal depression that has been popular I don't know why I gave the bunny ears that's when I said it's a term it's not a it's not a quotation mark has been popularized in recent years as a way to explain sadness or mood change when it gets colder out or when the sun goes down

And it really does make sense, right? Like if you're going to work and it's dark out and you leave work and it's dark out, that's depressing. That's sad. Like that's in simple terms. That is just like, ugh, like that fucking sucks. And there have been days and there are days where you don't see the sun. And now that, what's it called? my God, the sun changing, the sun dials. my God, what's it called? The thing that happens when the daylight savings time, Jesus.

When daylight savings time happens, it immediately impacts your mood, being able to see the sun until sometimes like 8 p.m. Like when the weather, when the sun will go down at like 4 45 p.m. We were just like, what the fuck? What is that? Why? Why are we doing that? And now it's up until like 7 45 and it's instantly like shifted the way that my days have gone and

the amount of people I've texted and like the way I wanna make more plans now and the way I wanna do more things and the way I wanna get out of my house and out of my apartment and go like take a long walk after work or after my responsibilities are done and like that is a different kind of mindset that the weather and the sunlight can give you. And I think I only really felt the effects of the winter time and the darkness like.

Josh Felgoise (14:09.615)

when it got light out again, like when the sun stayed past 4 5 p.m. and I could experience it directly, like it just impacted my mood. And I feel like this instant mood lift or this like energy lift kind of gives you a restart or a revamp and gives you a motivation that you may not have felt in the past few months. It gives you a moment that like you're kind of like

Whoa, I feel better. I feel this spark of energy, this kind of new found hope and excitement for what is in store for the rest of the year. So I want to give you my four to five tips or the four to five things that I think this time when the sun is back out and the like time, the, my God, why I keep writing the word for it? What the, the, my God.

the like big brain fart today, which is a bad time because I'm recording a podcast. The daylight savings time. Jesus, come again. I'll never get that. The that the daylight savings time gives us. This is like a new opportunity or like a fresh start. And especially coming on the heels of this time where it's been like, or you feel like you've been like trudging through time. It's this new spark.

It's this new start and even if you're not in the same time as me or the same time zone like I'm on the East Coast or the Eastern Seaboard maybe I don't know but if you're not in this time I still think this is a great opportunity to use these tips and use this moment or whenever you are experiencing this moment because you can really do this any day like what I'm about to say can be applied

any day of the week and any morning and you can start any day with this. I still think this advice applies to you and I think you can really bring in whatever I'm saying into your day and take this with you to start any day. So I'm going to give you four or five kind of tips or things that I realized in that two day period and then back to when it was kind of not nice out again.

Josh Felgoise (16:32.693)

that I realize that I'm gonna bring with me into the rest of the year. So first I think that this is a really great time to remind yourself of all of the goals you may have had at the start of the year. Like when you started out, what were the things that you decided you wanted to do, that you wanted to accomplish, that you wanted to get done? And when you get that spark of energy that you may have felt or will feel when it gets nicer out,

that I was talking about when I was wearing shorts walking outside, use it. And remember how that felt because that fades really quickly. Like that spark dies down much faster than it starts. So next time that moment arises where you get that feeling of like, I'm a lot happier right now.

Remind yourself of all of the things you wanted to do because that is a great moment It's kind of like a motivational moment for you and those don't come they're like kind of few and far between when you get that like spark of motivation Take that moment to be like what did I want to get done? Like what do I want to do? What dropped off in the winter time that I want to pick back up on like what were the things that I Didn't do the things that I lost the things that I forgot about the things that I put down the things that I just

stopped doing because I lost motivation or I was more tired or I was more sad like what did I want to get done? It's kind of a great moment to reset or restart on the things you wanted to do or revisit those goals. Like maybe you wanted to work out more or consistently practice that thing or play guitar or whatever your personal goal was that you started out the year with. Now is a great time to get back to that and remember

what that goal was or what those goals even were in the first place that you forgot about like go back to that list you made or whatever that notes app thing was or set new ones start from scratch and be like now that I feel this boost of motivation or this boost of energy what else do I want to do this year what do I want to get done it's like this kind of restart or this refresh moment that the the sun and the like extra time of sunlight gives you that this like

Josh Felgoise (18:45.907)

Seasonal depression or this feeling of like overwhelming sadness lifting invites you to invites you in with like it's like here is an invitation to Start over or start again on that thing you wanted to do now. What is it? What do you want to do? My next tip is start getting into your routine now

Knowing that there will be days ahead where you're going to be really busy or you're going to have weekend plans or leaving on a weekend trip or spontaneously getting drinks with friends or going outside more after work or going on more dates or going to spend more time with your coworkers at a happy hour after work. Like knowing that all of that is on the horizon and that's going to be soon in summertime and there's just more plans and more things and more like just spontaneous things that come up over time.

knowing that that's about to happen in a few months, will completely throw you off of your track. So start now. Decide what you want to do and start getting into the routine or the practice or the habit of doing that every single day or doing those few things every single day. Start figuring out what are the things you need to do every day to set yourself up for success ahead of the time. I feel like this is probably the best thing that we can do at this moment is to be like

That is all coming soon. Now, what can I do today that I will start doing every single day that when that all comes up and I feel completely thrown off track and I don't even I just feel like I'm like, how did I lose four days and I for seven days just went by and I did none of things I wanted to do and I didn't accomplish anything. Being able to go back to that routine or that habit that you have set now.

will kind of like implement all that for you. Like it will already be set in stone and you won't have to like be like, fuck, I didn't do anything for the past seven days. Those things will already be set for you and you'll be able to go back to them without having to like, like really struggle to start over or start again. Like those will already be things that you do every single day. So when that time comes, when it's like super hectic and you don't know what to do,

Josh Felgoise (20:52.795)

you can fall back on and rely on the habits that you started now and the routine that you started getting into. And next I want to talk about working out because this is a realization I had myself that I think you might relate to or a lot of people will feel and it's this realization where I

thought to myself, I really wish I worked out a little harder or I wish I took it a little bit more seriously. And I know I'm a little bit hard on myself about that because I have taken it really seriously. But there are things I wish I did differently. I wish I took my diet a little bit more seriously. And I wish I took protein a little bit more seriously and worked really hard to implement having more protein every single day and making sure I had a protein shake every single day because

There were days where I was like, I didn't have a protein shake for four days. And that was something that was a goal of mine that I started out the year with. And I had a moment where I was like looking at myself in the mirror and I was like, I'm really happy with the way I look right now. But with summer coming up, there are things I wish I did more and there are still things I would like to be doing more. And I had goals that I didn't completely reach or maybe goals that I didn't even come close to and

I didn't really need to have those peanut &Ms the other night at the movies. Like I didn't really need to eat that entire bag and maybe this is a good moment to start taking those goals a little bit more seriously again. Like now is the perfect time to reset with the goal in mind that you once had or with a reminder that's going to be nicer out soon. knowing now that it's March and in three months it will be June.

That's a three month period. Like that is a lot of time where you can really reset and restart your goals. Like that is really a very good amount of time that if you take that seriously, you can do a lot. You can get a lot done. You can accomplish a lot. And it's not this moment to look at yourself and be like, fuck, I completely failed. Like, God, I really wish I did things differently and like I'm a total failure and I didn't get any of the things I wanted to get done. No, this is a moment to be like.

Josh Felgoise (22:56.123)

You know, maybe I wasn't my best self. Maybe I wasn't in the best mood and there is a reason to explain that it's I look at the weather for that. I look at outside. I look at how it's this the sun like I look at those reasons to explain maybe a low in productivity or a feeling like you didn't do as much as you wanted to or get done as much as you want to accomplish all of your goals. This isn't a moment to beat yourself down and get mad at yourself. It's a moment to reset to restart and I love those moments like I think any time

You're feeling that way where you're being really hard on yourself or you're mad at yourself or you're beating yourself up for not doing something you wish you did. There's such a cool flip you can do in your mind to be like, I didn't do that, but now I can. Like I have this new opportunity. Like it's still, this isn't ending. we're not like there's no end result really. Like we're kind of just always in the pursuit of figuring it out and getting better and learning what we can do to get better and to feel better. Like

There's no ending in sight. There's no one timeline to follow. There is only getting better and learning how to get better and feeling better. And that is what I believe. Like I really do think that instead of beating yourself up, you can flip your mindset to say, I'm going to change it now. Like I'm going to try a little harder now. I'm going to take that a little bit more seriously now. Starting today, I'm going to try again.

Instead of being angry at what I wish I did, I'm going to do that now. Instead of being mad at myself for the past that I can no longer control, I'm going to take what I have, the present day, in my hands and grab it with both hands and really try to make the best of this time because looking back at what you wish you did differently isn't really a great use of your time, but looking at what you can do now

to change it or to move forward is all we can really do. So with this spark, with this new mindset, with this new mood change and this shift, it's the right time to shift into everything you wish you did and not beat yourself up for it, but say, I'm gonna try again. And the next one, which is kind of the perfect transition from what I've been talking about.

Josh Felgoise (25:20.537)

is giving yourself a little bit of credit of what you have been through and what you've made it through and those kind of trying and lonely times of winter. And I don't think, like in all seriousness, like it really can be a very lonely time and we can get very down on ourselves and get very sad or tired or stressful and dark when it's dark. Like it can get dark. And give yourself some credit knowing that you did that yourself.

that you made it through, that you're on the other side of it, and you figured out how to get yourself through it and work through the days that sucked and the days that you didn't see the sun mentally and physically. The days where it felt like you didn't really know why you were sad or lonely or feeling that way, but regardless, you pushed through and there was another day and

The sun still rose tomorrow. Like even if you didn't see it, it was going to rise. And we don't really stop and give ourselves enough credit for figuring it out and making it through and learning how to do it on our own. And like, and looking back at some of those times where you were like, this is not good. Like this is not good. Looking back at a few of those times and realizing that you did it and you got through and now you're here and you're feeling a lot better.

means that you can do that again. And like, I really like the saying, you have made it through 100 % of your bad days. You've made it through 100 % of your bad days. And now you're here on the other side of it. You can do it again, and you will do it again. Like, this isn't to say that all of summer and any time that it's sunny out is gonna be the happiest of times and you're walking through life like la la la la la. No, like, that's not, I'm not really trying to say that, but.

This time when it gets sunnier out, it gets lighter out really does uplift your mood. It does give you that spark of energy and of motivation. And I hope you're feeling that way. I think a lot of people are probably feeling that way now. At least I am. I think this is what that time grants us and this kind of change in scenery. And if that feeling comes back again and you experience that same type of thing, whether it's in the summertime or it's in next wintertime,

Josh Felgoise (27:41.585)

Come back to this moment, come back to this episode to remind yourself that you can make it through. You have made it through and you will do it again. And take advantage of any moment where you get that spark because they really are so few and far between. Like I'll probably do an episode in the coming weeks about motivation because you can't really rely on motivation. You can't rely on that spark because...

It's not that frequent. It's not always going to come. Like that's why when you like you use like Flint and Steel or you if I'm watching Survivor right now, so I'm watching them do that a lot on TV. You don't get the spark automatically. It doesn't immediately come. It takes some time of you kind of like hitting at the Flint for the spark to come. And even after that, it takes some time for the spark to become a flame, so it won't always come. You won't always see the spark.

Motivation won't always be there for you. You can't rely on motivation. You have to rely on the practices you set, the habits you start, the routines you set for yourself. That's why this time is such a perfect time to do that, to set the habits for yourself. Start reminding yourself of the things you wanted to do and the goals you set and the things you wanted to accomplish and start setting the ways in which you can do that today. So when the hectic times come,

When the storms come, when the weather changes, you'll be able to weather the storm. You'll be able to learn how to ride the wave. The seasons don't have to control you, but you do have to learn how to weather the storm. Does that make sense? That was pretty deep. I feel like that was great. I'm going end it there. Take advantage of this time. As I said, I'm going to end the episode. I'm going to keep going. Take advantage of this time and take advantage of what

it affords you and the energy it gives you because it's not always going to happen it's not always going to be there so next time you feel that way next time you feel that spark or that energy grab it with both hands that is the episode thank you so much listen to guys said a guy's guide to what should be talked about I'm Josh I'm 25 years old and I'm here every single week every single Tuesday to talk about what should be talked about for guys

Josh Felgoise (29:52.463)

If you like this episode, really hope you did. Please like subscribing this podcast five stars. Let read that's one, two, three, four, five stars, not four, not three, not two, not one, not one, definitely not one. It's five stars. Thank you so much for doing that. I really, really appreciate it. If you have anything to talk about that should be talked about for guys, head over to guyset.com, G U Y S E T.com. There is an ask me anything right there. You could ask me anything. I'm gonna talk about anything that you think should be talked about for guys and I will be sure to talk about it. You can also find daily blog posts on guyset.com. post three blog posts a day.

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