Analysis Paralysis

I am currently in a moment where I have to decide what to do. Make a decision between doing something and not doing something, making a decision between kind of taking a leap or staying on the course that I am currently on. And kind of having to make what feels to me like a very big decision.

And what the decision is doesn't really matter because I feel like I'm kind of in these moments a lot of the time. And I feel like I'm always finding myself in some sort of predicament, or a lot of times finding myself in a predicament where I'm like, should I do this or should I not? Should I do this thing that I think would be good and could be cool and could be an amazing opportunity? Or should I stay with what I'm doing right now because I kind of maybe.

Fear what might happen if I do that thing, or fear what could happen if I take the time away from this thing and put it toward that thing. And I feel like this is an honestly like a very universal experience. I feel like a lot of the times, a lot of time we have to decide between two things. We have to pick one of the two things, and that means sacrificing something because

You really can't have everything all at once. I think you can have everything, but when at like separate times in your life, I don't think there is a moment where you can have everything all at once. I think there are times in which you can have one thing over another, and next day you can do something else, and that means that you can have everything, but not at the same time. And I feel really all over the place, which I'm kind of excited to share with you because

You're probably or you have been or you might be soon in a similar situation to what I'm in right now. A similar predicament where you're like, fuck, I have to make a decision between two things and I don't know what to do, and I don't know if I don't know what's right. I don't know what is the right thing to do. I don't know what will be the best thing for me. I kind of fear what might happen if I do this thing. I also fear what might happen if I don't do this thing.

Josh Felgoise (02:35.342)

And I think this is a pretty universal truth, a universal experience that that you have either experienced already, or maybe you're currently in right now, or you will sometime soon. And I think it's kind of cool or funny or I don't know, interesting to share my mindset around this with you right now, because I don't have the answers to this. I don't have what to do to.

kind of give you the exact answer to your situation. What I do have is honesty and being able and the ability to kind of like share what I'm experiencing right now. This is an episode where I don't have a completed outline. I don't have everything I'm gonna say to you. I mean, I barely have everything I'm gonna say to you, any of the episodes, but this is an episode specifically where I really wanted to get on here and just give you kind of the inside of my mind, kind of give you like the inner workings or what I'm kind of

experiencing what I'm thinking about, where my mind is going in a i specific situation where I don't know what to do. And I don't have the answer of what I'm going to do because it feels like every third second I'm kind of flip-flopping between the two things. One minute I'm kind of like, this is what I should be doing. And then the next I'm like, wait, but what about this? And then the next I'm like, well, but if I do this, then this. And

And what I'm experiencing right now, and what I experience a lot of the times, is this like psychological phenomenon called analysis paralysis. And what is analysis paralysis? Let me give you the definition before I tell you anything else. Analysis paralysis is the state of overthinking where excessive information or too many choices stop you from making any decision at all. And a good example of this is you want.

To start reading the news. But you go on to a you Google news and you see that there are tons of different sources that you can choose from. And there are 10 different media outlets and there are 17 different websites and there are a thousand articles you can choose from. And instead of picking one,

Josh Felgoise (04:45.472)

You kind of decide that you you you like get too overwhelmed with it. So you take a step back and you shut your computer and you're like, I don't want to do that at all. I actually don't want to read the news anyway. Like I never wanted to read the news in the first place. You get so overwhelmed by how many options you have that you decide not to do anything at all. That is kind of how I'm feeling in this current moment right now. Like I have a lot of things I could do, a lot of different choices to make, and I'm like, maybe it would be easier to just like stay where I am and not do anything at all. And

When you're in this decision phase, or when you're deciding when to do something or not, this is a very common feeling of like my brain is going in so many different directions. You have so many different thoughts that kind of like flood your head of if I don't take this opportunity, like what will happen? And if I do take this opportunity, what will happen? If

I don't will I always be thinking I should have taken that or should I have taken that or what could have been if I taken that and and done that? And if you do, you're kind of like, well, fuck, like maybe I shouldn't have, and maybe it would be better if I didn't, and now I I don't feel like I'm right for this, or I don't feel like this is the right thing. And I think you can apply this to so many different things. Like I think you can apply this to your career and work and what you do next. I think you can apply this to

conversations you have. I think you can apply this to people. I think you can apply this to relationships, dating, friendships, family. I think you can apply this to moving, life decisions, life choices. I think this really can be as small as reading the news and can be as big as your next career move or what you do in your relationship. I think it can be everything and anything all at once. You know, like it it's it kind of applies to everything, which is why I'm not giving you my exact predicament because I feel like it

Is more it's it's more beneficial if I don't, because you can apply this to really anything. And I am currently in that decision phase of whether I do this thing or not. And

Josh Felgoise (06:46.986)

I'm going back and forth between kind of what I'm saying of like, will I regret this if I don't take this? What if the opportunity doesn't work out and I tried and I messed things up and I messed up relationships or I messed up this stuff along the way and I'm worse off for it? Or what if I try and everything get gets better because of it? What if I try and it opens up tons of different doors that were shut before? Or doors I didn't even know existed before?

Or what if I try and it elevates everything in my life because I'm now in a better place, because I'm doing all these things I never thought I'd be able to do before. And there are so many more of these, by the way. Like there are so many more rabbit holes and situations and explanations I could go down of what could happen if I do this and what could happen if I don't do this and how I'm feeling this minute and that minute. I'm just giving you the first few that come to my head. Like this is kind of where I'm at with this decision and and

How much I'm overanalyzing and analyzing this situation. And there are points at which in and there are points in this whole thing where I'm so overwhelmed by everything that I'm like, let me just not. And that is the analysis paralysis when you are paralyzed from the analysis, when you are paralyzed from making a decision. When I Googled analysis paralysis, it said the common causes are, and these are just a few, this is including, but not limited to.

Information overload, trying to process too much data until you feel completely overwhelmed. Fear of failure. Worrying that making the wrong choice will lead you to a bad outcome or bad outcomes or deep regret. That's that is mine. Perfectionism: believing that a flawless, perfect solution must exist if you just search long enough. I'm also feeling very much so in that camp. Too many options.

Having so many paths to choose from that comparing them becomes exhausting. Wow. Okay, so I have hit like four of four fucking home run out of the fucking park. That is how I'm feeling right now. Every single one of those is what's going on with me right now. It also said the signs and symptoms, also including, but not limited to endless researching without feeling more certain. This is like exact I haven't even read these back. I'm like, this is me.

Josh Felgoise (09:13.122)

Constantly second guessing small or large choices, procrastinating on important tasks by doing unimportant ones, mental gridlock, stress, and loss of sleep. Wow. My God, I'm like, this is like reading me like a fucking book. The other night, like maybe two nights ago, I I could not fall asleep. I was tossing and turning with the decision, with what with what I should do, what I should be doing, where I should be taking this, what I should like that is this is like.

Pretty much exact. This is fucking I am transparent. I am translucent. So if you heard me say any of those common causes or signs and symptoms, and you were like, that that is me. god. well, that is me as well. this episode is for you, and you have found this at the right time and at the right place. And I hope hearing me also not be completely sure or sure at all about what to do.

Will be helpful for you because I I feel like this type of honesty and transparency around the messy middle of like not knowing what I'm gonna do or or not having a clear path or a clear decision is helpful. Like I feel like the best thing for me right now in this scenario would be somebody telling this to me too, would would be somebody sharing their experience with this situation as well.

So I hope I can be that for you because honestly I think that would solve a lot of this for me, just to know that somebody else was there that's that or has been there before and is also like, yeah, I don't I didn't know what to do. But look, here's what I did and this is where it led me. And I took this decision and I was better off for it.

And I'm kind of like being that own voice for myself in a lot of this because I'm like having that conversation back and forth as crazy as that makes me sound. I'm having that like conversation with my future self, which I think is really helpful and I would recommend as kind of like something you could do in this situation. I'm looking forward at Josh a year from now, and he's looking back at me and saying, Yeah, I did this thing and

Josh Felgoise (11:26.838)

Here is what I've learned from it. And I am in a better place because of it. And you know what? I'm glad I at least tried because now I know what would have happened. And you currently, current Josh, me right this second. This kind of sounds crazy, but I feel like it makes sense. Me currently, you don't know what is going to happen. And if you do not take this thing, if you do not take this leap, if you do not take this opportunity, in a year from now, you might.

Be left feeling and thinking the same things you are feeling and thinking right now. What my life could have been if I did that thing? What opportunities, what doors could have opened, what could have increased? What changes I could have made if I did that thing? And would you rather be in the place you are now or in the place where you have had that experience? In the place where you took the opportunity, you took the leap.

Maybe you fell along the way. Maybe you got some scrapes and some scars and some bruises, but you still got the experience. You still now have the knowledge that you never would have had otherwise. And when I tell myself that, when I kind of like have that conversation that might really seem convoluted, but I feel like makes a lot of sense. When I have that conversation with myself, it's pretty clear that I should do it and I should try.

And regardless of if I fail, which is one of the big things on here, is like the the fear of failure. And that is one of my biggest worries about this is if I do this thing and I fail and it doesn't work out the way I wanted it to, and I end up either it ends up not working out one way or the other, what will that say about me or where will that put me then? And I'm kind of like, yeah, but so what? Like if I try and I fail, then then at least I have that experience of trying.

If I, you know, don't even give myself the chance to try, then I'll never even give myself the chance to fail. And I feel like that is kind of where the answer lies, or the answer kind of lies somewhere in the middle of that, somewhere along the way in there, because I personally have been and have always been somebody who thinks it's more worth trying than living in the land of what if I tried.

Josh Felgoise (13:48.14)

I think that applies for so many and literally every situation. So when I tell myself that, I I it feels like the answer is really obvious. And it feels like, yeah, obviously, like you're I'm listening to you right now. or like if somebody's listening to me right now, they're probably like, Yeah, you're you're doing the thing. Like you're obviously gonna take that opportunity because of the way you're talking about it. And then in five minutes, I may, and you might hear it in this episode, I may also then be like, Yeah, but why, you know.

Like completely derail what's going on right now for something completely different? Like, why change up everything when things might actually be going okay right now or going well right now, honestly? Like, why throw something else in that to kind of disrupt the order you've already created? And I think those are kind of the two schools of thought that I'm I'm pretty much lying in between that's creating a lot of this analysis paralysis I'm talking about.

And I just want to say, I don't think I'm gonna leave this episode with an answer or with a decision. Like, I I don't think by the end of this, maybe I will, honestly, but I don't think by the end of this I will come to a conclusion of what I'm going to do next. And in thinking about doing this episode, I was like, maybe I should wait until I do have a little bit of a clearer kind of path or lane to kind of give you my whole thought process around this. And then I was like, no, why would I rob myself or you with

this kind of like kind of mind gym that I'm kind of like wrestling through. This like it it feels like one of those like jungle gyms where I'm like back and forth and up and down and around and the bend and like all of that. And like why why would I not share that with you? I think that I think that this this is kind of what this podcast is for. I'm I mean I've never been here as somebody with the answers. I've never been the expert in any of this, but the whole point is to share what I am

Going through and experiencing alongside you. And I feel like this is one of those moments where I'm like, this could be really helpful to someone. And I think honestly, it will be really helpful to someone. And I I if that is you, I I hope this is good. And I hope this isn't adding more stress or more like fuck to your plate. I hope hearing me kind of go through these situations might be helpful to you. And maybe hearing my conversation with my future self might.

Josh Felgoise (16:11.33)

Give you a strategy to do that same thing. and then this is what online says about how to overcome it. and this is from like the quickest Google search of all time. So this is just a few things that I'm gonna give my thoughts on them as well. Set a time limit. Give yourself a strict deadline or a short timer to make a final choice. I really like that one. I think that is what I need to do. And I I

Most of the time you have a limit on what to do. Most of the time there is another party involved, whether it's with work, an employer, a hiring manager, whether it's a relationship, whether it's somebody else, you have some sort of limit set to kind of come to a conclusion or a decision with whatever it is. And I think this is a good one because it's it the the feeling like it's not an infinite or never ending decision or

position that you're gonna have to be in of what the fuck do I do. Knowing that this is going to come to an end very soon and you are gonna have to make a decision is really helpful. So maybe even give that to yourself. Say I'm gonna do this for another day max or two more days. And like that is all I'm gonna give myself because I can't live in this land of insanity where I'm gonna drive myself crazy and then end up doing nothing. I think that you have to and you should, this is a really good one, give yourself a time limit of I have to make a decision by this time.

And along the way, I mean, one of the things I would say, they don't say this in here, but this is one of my pieces of advice. Talk to people. Like talk to your close friends, your siblings, your parents, your girlfriend, whoever you have in your life that you kind of confide in, talk to them about what's going on. And you know, you don't have to have or leave any of those conversations. Like, I'm not gonna leave this conversation with you with a conclusion. You don't have to leave any of those conversations by being like, you're not, you're right. I am gonna do that.

You can just say, like, this is what I'm thinking about. This is the situation. I don't know what the fuck to do. And hear what they say and just ask for their opinion and listen. this is something that I've done. And I I think this has been one of the best things I've done in this kind of period of my life, or in this kind of messy middle situation where I'm like, I don't know what to do. have conversations. Just say it out loud. Like let it exist. You know, like put it out in in into the world. Like, don't, don't just let it.

Josh Felgoise (18:32.692)

sit and seep in your head and deal with this thing alone. Confiding in people sharing, just like telling somebody about this is really a a helpful thing because then you're like, okay, like now they know and they might also share their opinion or they won't. And then you're kind of like, all right, I'll let you know what I'm deciding. But like along the way you might get opinions, you might get other people's thoughts, you might that those might influence you positively or negatively. And then it's entirely up to you what you do in the end. But

Having a lot of people's thoughts and and maybe not too many, but like having some people's thoughts might help you reach a decision. maybe adding too many will add to the analysis paralysis, and maybe don't add like so many that you're like, well, this person thought this and this person thought this and this person thought this. So, like, I know what to do because I thought this. And make sure you don't like overwhelm yourself with that. But I think talking to people and and and kind of cueing other people into your situation is really helpful in in everything. That goes for everything in your life, by the way. I like, especially for guys like

Divulging what you're going through, sharing what you're thinking about and feeling and overwhelmed by and stressed by and analysis paralyzed by. Like talking to your friends about it is just it's always good. Or talk to the people that you want to talk to about whatever it is. Just it it is always there's never a bad thing in doing that, you know? the next one they say is accept good enough. Realize that an imperfect decision acted on today is better than a perfect decision that never happens.

Hmm, I like that. I didn't like accept good enough. I was kind of like, I'm gonna shit on this one because I don't think I like it. But I think that's right. I think that the purpose behind this is to say that there is no perfect decision. There is no right answer to this. There's no right answer in anything. There's really no right answer of what you do with your life or what you decide or what decision you make. There really only ever is what you do with that decision.

Like what you do with what you've done. There's that funny like Noah Centennial quote, and he's like, it's not what you've done, but what you do with what you've done. And I I do think that actually kind of makes sense. it was like this like viral random clip. Let me find it. I think it'll add context. Noah Centennial clip. It's gonna come up first. Yep. See. His message about helping other people. Okay, let me find it.

Josh Felgoise (20:56.014)

And before I go, I just wanna say it matters not what you've done, but what you do with what you've done for others. Thank you. That was dumber than I remembered. that was a little a little word salad, but I think I get the point of what he's trying to say. Like

And when he added in for others, I think he was just like for good in the world, for charity, for philanthropy. Sorry, I'm getting off track. What I'm trying to say is I think once you make a decision, what matters is what you then do with that decision and how you navigate it. Because you can always go back, you can always decide to change something, you can always, you know, like work from there, but you do have to make.

A decision and then start from there. You have to have a starting point and a and a place to go from. And what this is saying is there is no perfect decision. There is no right decision. But you do have to decide something and then go from there. The next thing they say is to limit your choices. Cut your options down to two or three before you start comparing. Yeah, this makes sense as well. I think it's like, okay, pick.

One or two things and go from there. Like pick you either do this or you don't do this. Or you pick from this news source or this news source, not 17 news sources. I think that makes sense. And I think that would help any decision, narrowing it down to one or two or three, not fifteen or forty-five. so narrow down your decision so that you feel less overwhelmed by how many things you have to decide between.

And then the next one is take a small step. Move forward with a tiny action instead of trying to plan the whole path at once. This is kind of what I was saying about the imperfect decision, the fact that there is no perfect decision. There's no right way to do anything. There's no right, you know, step to make. The only thing you can do is to step in a direction and then go from there. That is exactly what this is saying. And I I feel like that is really good advice because it

Josh Felgoise (23:09.646)

Is overwhelming when you're in a position like I'm in right now, of like what the fuck do I do? And how do I know what to do? And how do I know what's right? And how do I know if I do this thing that it's gonna be right for me? And if I do end up doing this thing, then what will happen if it goes wrong? And then I'm back in and I'm in a different place than I was now, or then and you know, I'm kind of doing it again, and I'm gonna stop myself before I go back into that spiral cycle. I think it's not a great place to be.

I don't think it's helpful. I think it's rather unhelpful. so I'm kind of cutting it off there. I mean, I was kind of doing it for like the hyperbole and like the just to show you. But at the same time, I do think it's important to cut that and be like, okay, stop where you are right now, because a lot of those things aren't real. And what is real is that you have a decision to make between two things.

And in these moments, in the times when you have to make a decision like this, like it feels like the world is on your shoulder shoulders. It feels like the biggest thing in the world where like if I do this, then like this is gonna happen. Or if I do this, then this will collapse like nothing's gonna collapse. Nothing's gonna there there was a saying that one of my coworkers had to be my first job. She said this is PR, not the ER. And that is like a funny anecdote that is like popularly used in PR.

because a lot of the things they do can feel like you're always putting out a fire and like having to like do heart palpitations on somebody because it feels like everything is intense and everything's on fire and you have to be the one with like the water hose being like a lot of the times it feels like that. And I think that is a very helpful sentiment in these situations. Like whatever you do is most likely not going to change the world. Whatever you do is most likely not going to

destroy your life or change everything from the way it was forever. And there is always a way back to where you are now. And there is always a a different place than where you are and a better place. And I think that kind of recentering yourself away from the fact that this is the biggest decision in the world and remembering that this is just one decision out of the thousands of decisions you will make today, tomorrow, and the next day

Josh Felgoise (25:23.162)

And what you do right now will not affect you forever, and it will not ruin or make your life. Like, this isn't gonna be a make or break decision. It might feel like it, but for the most part, it is not. And I think it's important to kind of like bring yourself back to that and be like, all right, this is big and it feels really big because it is, but it is not everything. This is not the end all be all. This is not the everything in my life.

And let me refocus onto that. Let me kind of like reprioritize. I think this is a good time to kind of like remember everything you have going on right now and everything you want and your goals and what you want to make of yourself, what you want to do with your life and when when you're in a situation like this, and kind of like refocus. because it can feel massive and it can feel overwhelming and it can feel like you're holding a rock on your shoulders. But for the most part.

You're not. And you can just set that rock down for a second. You can just take a break. You can just be like, you know what? And put the rock. I that was me putting the rock down. You can just be like, all right, I'm gonna set this aside for a second. And I'm gonna look at the situation as a whole and decide what I think is right for me right now.

Decide if I want to take a risk or if I want to put myself out of my comfort zone, if I want to take this opportunity, if I want to try something new, if I wanna do this. And that is where you need to make your decision from. Not from a place where you feel incredibly overwhelmed and you feel like you have to make this massive decision that's going to change the trajectory of your life forever. You need to make it from a place of what do I feel right now? What is my gut telling me?

What will that one year from now version of myself be saying? What would that guy say right now? And start there, you know, like recenter into that. Take the weight of it off for a second, put it down and go from there. That is what I'm going to do with the rest of this day. And I'm going to take a lot of the advice that I just gave you and give myself kind of a time limit to this and not let myself.

Josh Felgoise (27:35.106)

be drained by this or overcome by this and take a big fat fucking gulp of everything I just told you because I think that is what I need right now. And maybe y'all listen back to this and kind of like hear what I'm saying. And I think that could be helpful for me too. So I hope this episode was helpful for you if you're in a situation like I'm in right now where you're having to make a big decision or it feels like there's a massive decision you have to make.

And come back to this episode whenever you are in this situation or if you're ever feeling this way again. I think it will be comforting to hear me talk like this and to share everything I'm experiencing right now with you. And and I hope that what I said will be helpful to you. That is the episode. Thank you so much for listening to Guy Set, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh, I'm 26 years old, and I'm here every single week, every single Tuesday, to talk about what should talked about for guys.

If you like this episode, I really hope you did. Please like, subscribe to this podcast. Five stars. Five stars. Thank you so much for that. I really appreciate that. Please give me five stars. Thank you. If you have any questions about the show we talked about for guys, head over to the website, guyset.com, g-u-i-s-e-t.com. And you can ask me anything right there. I'll be sure to talk about it and answer it in the next Dear Guy Set episode. You can also find daily blog posts on guyset.com across dating, career, mindset, lifestyle, style.

Really anything you could have a question on, any, you know, situation you're experiencing right now, there is probably a blog post that matches up to that experience and shares the advice I have for that specific moment on guyset.com. So really ask any questions you have or, you know, any situation you're going through, and I'm sure you can find something that matches up to it. That's on guyset.com.

You can watch this full episode on YouTube at Guy Set. You can follow me on Instagram at Guy SetPodcast. Thank you so much for listening to Guy Set, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. And I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys.