How To Stand Out In Dating

I heard somebody ask the question, what are some things that I can do to stand out to women, stand out to girls. So I thought it would be a good, actually great episode to talk about some things that you can do to stand out in dating, stand out when dating, in early dating.

and some things you can do to set yourself up for success in dating. And I think that going into a date or after a date or throughout all these early stages of dating, like, there are actually some things you can do to stand out. Like, I don't think that this is a hidden mystery or like something that there aren't answers to. Like, there are some people that have it and some people don't. Like, no, I think that this is something

that is information that is out there in the world. And I'm gonna do my best to put it together in a tight little guide today, like in a 30-ish minute episode that you can listen to before you go on a date, that you can listen to when you're starting to date, when you're in the middle of dating, like when you meet somebody new. I think that this is the type of episode...

that I would click into if I was listening to this podcast. And I do listen to this podcast sometimes. I listen back to the episodes that I make. But like I really think that this is one of the episodes that I think is really important to have as a part of guys said, because there are things that we can all do to stand out in dating that these aren't like illusions or things that we have to seek out or figure out. I think that these are things that I can really help with. And that is one of the purposes of this podcast or one of the.

the reasons I think that it's a necessary podcast because this is the type of information that I would have wanted to hear when I started dating. This is the type of information that I couldn't find. And one of the reasons I started making guys set in the first place is to put together types of episodes like this that have advice that I have found or discovered or started making myself because I couldn't find it myself from

Josh Felgoise (02:33.504)

Looking at what's going on online or what people are talking about and kind of piecing together all of the feedback that girls are giving guys online or that I've heard or I've had in conversations and Making it into a guide for you when going into a date or when starting to date somebody new that can really help you to stand out These are genuinely the things that I wish somebody had told me when I started dating

And I think that this very specific guide to early dating will be really helpful. So here are some things that I think you can do to stand out in dating. The first one is texting and communication. And that's like the first category. I'm gonna make this into a bunch of different categories. Obviously we live in a very different time than our parents did. Even different from like 10 years ago when...

Tinder was like the standard to meet people online. Like now you know what Tinder is for and it is not for really meeting people. Like I'm sure some people do and I'm happy for those couples but like that's not really the gold standard anymore. It's now shifted to hinge and like a lot of different expectations are placed on guys because of our new way of dating or this new wave of dating.

The rules of the road are very different for dating now than they were 10 years ago or 20 years ago. And they will be different in the next five years or the next 10 years with shifting kind of apps and with online dating and with meeting in person. Like it's always kind of changing, but the rules of the road are much different now than they were 10 years ago or when our parents were around. So there isn't really like a succinct guide to any of this. And that's why I think like it

it's important to have a category for texting and communication because texting is one of the most important things when you're starting to date. Communicating, talking about when the date is, scheduling the date, confirming the date, stuff like that. So I'm gonna get into each of those. And I think one of the most important, or if not the most important one, is confirming the date. So I think this is an easy one to start with, and if you've never done it before, that's totally fine and it's okay.

Josh Felgoise (04:47.193)

It's something that you can start doing now with what you know now. Like if you have gone on dates before and have not confirmed them, it's fine. Like it's now it's something that you can do moving forward. Like you can now start today or with the next date. I think this is an easy, really great way to stand out to somebody that you're seeing because the anxiety levels that the other person on the other side of the phone has

when they don't know if the date is confirmed, if they're gonna show up to the date and nobody's gonna be there and they're gonna get completely ghosted, like, that is a real anxiety that people face. And I'm sure if you've gone on a date before, or have just started dating, or are in the midst of dating, or have been dating for a while, whatever, like, I think everybody kind of fits into this category and into this conversation. If you've been dating,

You know the anxiety that comes with like, what if it's not going to happen tonight? Like it's you. You wake up around like eight or nine or seven thirty or whatever and you're like, is the date on? Like, I don't know if I'm going on this date tonight. And then like throughout the day at work, like you're checking your phone to see if they're going to text you and see if they confirm. like I've had situations before where I have not heard from the girl that I'm going on a date with. And during the date, like when it's to be happening, she texts and she's like, sorry, like something came up, came up. I'm like, well, what do you mean something came up like you've had all day and

That other side, like the side of the person that's waiting for the confirmation or waiting for somebody to respond and say like, yes, we're on. Like in my circumstance myself, like when that had happened, this was probably like three or four years ago now, I texted it being like, hey, like just making sure we're on for tonight. Like excited to see you. And she never really, she never responded. Not she never really responded. She never responded. So I all day was like, is this on? Like, should I be getting ready? Like, should I be like going to the place? Should I go to the place? Like, should I show?

Is this on like that anxiety of is this thing on? Do I have to leave work and go get ready? Should I do this? Should I do that? Do I have to do this? Should I show up like all of that can be solved with a confirmation text. And that is, think a very easy, great way to stand out. If you give somebody that confirmation text as being like, Hey, I'm then you can use this as an example, like

Josh Felgoise (06:57.828)

I'm so excited to like, looking forward to our date tonight. Just making sure we're still on or like, hey, like looking forward to seeing you at 730 tonight or hey, I'm excited for our date tonight. See you at 730 question mark and say the place or whatever. Like any variation of that is fine. You can take any of those and kind of make them your own. Anything like that is so helpful to the other person on the other side who's kind of sitting, willing, waiting like, is this happening? Is it on? I'm anxious. I don't know what's happening.

type, you can just solve all of that with a text. So send that confirmation text the day of in the morning, like around that nine, 10, I would say before 11 time. And I think even better than that is the next step further is just sending them a text night before being like, Hey, I'm really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. Like, Hey, they're really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow night, or I'm looking forward to our date and spending time with you and getting to know you, whatever, whatever you want to say again, that variation.

I like to give a bit of a structure or like a format that you can use because that's something that I've always looked for and I think is really helpful and I know that it's helpful to friends and it's just a question that like guys always have is like what text do I send? So you can take any variation of those and make it your own or literally just take it word for word and it's something along the lines of like, I'm really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow night or hey, like so excited for our date tomorrow night.

Something like that the night before and then a confirmation text the day of, just like looking forward to seeing you tonight, excited for the date tonight, like can't wait to get a drink with you tonight, whatever it is, those two texts, that kind of communication, and it can be one, it can be two, whatever you're comfortable with, but it should be something before the date. Like in the morning of the day of the date, you should confirm and you should ease their nervousness and anxiety about if it's even on.

That is a great way to stand out in dating. That is like the number one most important rule of the road here. And that's something that I would say like isn't really movable. Like this is something that you should do. Like this is one of the things where I'm like this isn't just a piece of advice. This isn't just like you should, you could, you must. And it sounds like a very easy thing to do, but you would be surprised that not everybody goes the extra mile.

Josh Felgoise (09:15.737)

or the extra inch literally because like it's such an easy thing to do like it's a it's a given to an extent but not everybody does it and not everybody knows to do it and it's it's not something that we're like born knowing or innately know that we're supposed to confirm the date until somebody recommends it or gives you advice to do it or tells you that you should be doing it and that's why I think this type of thing is so important that's why I think this podcast is so important is because like there is nobody telling you that that is something that you should do that is something that like would be

a great way to stand out to this girl or make you look really good to her and make her feel already really comfortable and excited about you and the potential and the prospect of dating you is by doing this small little thing. Nobody tells you to do that and nobody tells you that you should be doing that. So I think that it's really important that there is somebody saying it or there's somebody giving this piece of advice because it's it's just a great way to look really good to somebody new and I

You can almost guarantee they're gonna already start liking you because of that. It's something that not every guy does and now every guy that listens to this will know to do that and it will make your dating life better. It will make you a better candidate or just a better dater in general. And I think it's really important to girls too. I just think it's something that they're looking for. I've heard from, I made a video on TikTok kind of talking about when to confirm the date.

And I said like sometime before like 12 and all the comments were like no like the comments were met with I've been met with rage from a couple of these videos, but it's really out of the goodness of my I'm not like trying to be like This is like I'm not I'm not trying to rage bait any of the women online but I'm just trying to give advice to guys and They find it and it's actually really helpful because then I use what they say and it's like an overwhelming amount of girls It's not just like one person who says this is like an overwhelming amount of people who recommend or

tell me that I should be giving this advice better. I get texts from girls that I know that are like, hey, by the way, that's not that you should do this and you should say this, not this. I use all of that to inform my opinion. I only know what I know. So I think that by getting the feedback, I call it feedback, some people might call it hate comments, I take it as feedback and I use it to inform my opinion than what I bring on here to give you advice. So.

Josh Felgoise (11:35.063)

I would have earlier said like something before 12 like they strongly recommend and say that it should be a confirmation text in the morning like 9 30 10 like that's that's their recommendation I push it and stretch it to a little bit like 11 to give you a little bit of time for yourself or do whatever but that's their recommendation so I use their their feedback as as a way to give you better advice too so the next one is asking

questions. This is also a really, really important one and a very great way to stand out early. And this is also one of the biggest gripes that I see that girls have with guys in terms of dating that I've seen from the same comment section and that have been met with rage. They are that guys don't ask enough questions or really any questions on dates. And I came out swinging on a TikTok and was like, that's such an overgeneralization to say that like, all guys don't ask questions. And they were like, Oh, really? Like, have you have you

Well, Piece of advice as well. Just like don't even don't go there but I did and they let me know that guys don't ask enough questions on dates and I assumed that we did and I assumed that everybody was doing that but I think this is another really great piece of advice and a None of this is by the way to like shame you if you've not done this in the past or you haven't

been doing these things on dates. This is just advice moving forward. Like this is like a, okay, now I know or now you know, like, no, you don't know this until you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, don't know what to do until somebody recommends it or gives you advice or tells you that this is the way to do it or a better way to do it. So don't take any of this as like a fuck. I should have been doing this before. Like I really wish I had done this before. Like, no, that's okay. You've lived, live and you learn and you

live with you live by doing what you currently know and then when you learn something new you apply that to your new situation and that's a great way to live like it's a it's it's a really tough way to look back with such like anger at your previous actions or the way you've interacted and like say that's the reason that thing didn't work or like because I didn't do that then that probably didn't work like there's no real reason to always be looking back at those scenarios those situations that like you can't fix or you can't control or you can't change

Josh Felgoise (14:00.214)

The best way is to just move forward knowing what you know now. So asking questions is one of the best ways to stand out in dating. It's a really easy way to stand out in dating. I started an entire second podcast called If You're Going on a Date This Week to provide questions to ask on dates because I think it's one of the hardest things when going into dating from my own personal experience is just like, I don't know what to say. What if I freeze? What if I...

there's a big awkward silence and neither of us are talking for a while and then it just like doesn't go well at all. Like I put so much pressure on the whole thing or I built this thing up in my mind and like I don't know what question to ask or what I should be asking or what I should say. And I have talked about this extensively and I will continue to because I think it's important. Is that like one of the biggest anxiety inducing things in terms of dating is asking questions. And that's why I like to provide questions. It's because it doesn't have to be this like

Same as I said in the beginning, doesn't have to be this thing that's behind a shield of what to say on a date. There are, and I've done episodes on this before, so you can go back into the dating episodes. I've also done blog posts on my website, guyset.com, saying what questions to ask. I'll do another one too of a refresher. But I think it's really a great idea to go into a date with one, two, or three questions in your back pocket of a thing that you wanna ask them or a thing that...

you think would incite an interesting conversation. It can be literally as like plain and simple as what TV shows do you like or what's your favorite TV show or what do you watch? What movies do you watch? What artists do you like? What concerts are you going to this year? Like who is your favorite artist? What's your favorite concert you've ever been to? taking what favorite restaurant around here favorite food favorite restaurant you've been to so far what you love about the place you what you love about where you live right now who you live with what you do like

what you like to do, what you want to do, what you do on the weekends, what you read, what you watch, what you listen to. Like these are all really small, simple questions that I think can lead to a much greater conversation. Like literally asking one of those questions can lead to the entire date being filled with conversation by saying like, who is your favorite artist or who's your what kind of music do you listen to that can go into a conversation about

Josh Felgoise (16:24.594)

a concert they've been to or what they want to go to this year or favorite concert they've ever been to or something with their friend or something that they like. You just never know where that can go from there. And then ask follow up questions. think one of the best things to do is listen to what they say and then be like, that's really interesting. Like, what about this? Or like, like that made me think that and like.

Going it's and it doesn't have to be like a podcast interview But it can be like you you are for all intents and purposes trying to get to know this person and like interviewing in a sense so you're just trying to make a conversation and You don't have to leave the date knowing everything about this person. You don't have to leave the date knowing where she Likes to go. I don't know that you don't know everything about whatever This person has been through her all of their experiences the whole point of the first date

is to see if you like their vibe, see if you wanna hang out with them again, see if you like their energy, see if you feel comfortable around them, see if you feel like yourself around them, and see if you see this going any further. And like, literally, it's an hour and a half, like you can't get everything about everything, about everyone, everything ever all at once from this person, from an hour and a half to two hour date, like.

You just start to see if you like them and like yourself around them. And if you can see this moving forward, that's the entire part of that's the entire purpose of a first date or of the early stages of dating or the early first dates or so. having one or two questions like what's your favorite restaurant around here can spiral and like parlay into so many different conversations and different things you want to ask them about. Asking questions is such an important thing to do on dates.

having a couple things you wanna say or a couple things you wanna ask them about is a great way to stand out in dating. And if you wanna go listen to my other podcast, it's called, If You're Going On A Date This Week. And I started doing it because I've been doing that segment on Instagram and TikTok for like a year now. And I just pull apart like five to seven topics or trending topics in pop culture, in movies, in TV shows, in music, in sports, entertainment, in...

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anything that's going on in the world that I think would be fun to talk about on a date or could lead to fun conversations on a date. And I started doing it maybe two weeks ago now. Today's or this week will be like episodes five and six. I do it every Monday and Thursday. And I think that it's really fun because I love doing it myself. I love talking about that type of stuff. And I think that it's a great way to like stay in the know of like what's going on, what's trending and what you could talk about.

And even just being like, like I heard that this album is coming out. Like, are you a fan of this person? Or, like I saw that this movie is coming out this weekend. Like I'd love to see it together. Or I saw this movie coming out. Like, are you a fan of that person? Or what's your favorite movie? Or like, it's just a very easy way to transition into other topics and to talk about a lot of different things and have a starting place and a first kind of conversation topic. So you can check that out anywhere you find podcasts. It's also on YouTube in the same channel.

at guys set. So it's under the same channel in YouTube, but it's two separate podcast feeds. I thought it would be too confusing to put it in the same guy set feed. Because at some point I'd love to do more than one episode a week for guys set. So yeah, it's just a separate podcast on Spotify and Apple, but it's just one on YouTube and people seem to really like it so far. And it just is really fun to do and very easy for me. So you can check that out if you're looking for what to talk about on a date. asking questions is.

Imperative like it's just it makes you seem interested and excited by this person and that you want to get to know them more and want to get to know them better and you're interested in them like Asking people questions shows that you are interesting and interested and I think that is a really amazing thing to do It's just a great way to stand out on a date So ask questions like seriously ask questions on your date. I again like thought this was something that like everybody knew and everybody

did and like is a very simple thing when you lay it out like that, be like ask questions when you're on a date, like of course that's simple, but not everybody knows to do it and like not everybody, I'm not shaming anybody for not knowing to do that and if you haven't before it's fine, so but just move forward now with doing that, like now any other date you have and of course you don't have to be like question, question, question, question, question and that's not the way to do it either, just like that's why I say have one or two of these things and then let the conversation flow and go in whatever direction it goes in from there.

Josh Felgoise (20:51.446)

The next one is a category I am calling confidence and manners. As best as you can, be confident on the date and be yourself. Don't try to put up a front or put on a face or pretend to be somebody that you're not because that is not the best way to get to know somebody and that's not the best way to let them get to know you. The whole purpose of a date or the early first stages of dating

Is to see if you like the person and see if you like yourself around the person see if you can be yourself around the person it's as much it's as important as the question do I like the question of do they like me is as important as do I like them and and being yourself is the best way to kind of formulate your own opinion of those two questions and kind of answer those questions and

Like trying your best to be confident or have an air of confidence. And maybe that means like faking it to till you make it a little bit or like standing up a little bit taller and trying to be a little cooler in a way or acting like somebody that is more confident. That is not pretending to be somebody that you're not. That's not putting on a face or putting on a front. That's just trying to be a little bit more confident. And that's okay too. Like it's so much better to

try to act confident, then be anxious and be nervous and be put make yourself smaller and like tilt yourself down and have your shoulders hunched down like trying to act a little bit confident or have that fake it till you make it mentality and confidence, I think is a good way to stand out. Of course, not being cocky or arrogant or pompous is also important. Like there's a fine line between

Adopting a little bit of confidence and then it becoming arrogance like there is a very fine line between confidence and cockiness and Don't cross over into the cockiness line, but try to be confident try and be excited about yourself and who you are and what you're doing and and kind of where you're going and Presenting it yourself in a way of like not making yourself seem smaller or trying to make your diminish yourself

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to this person, but presenting yourself in a way that like I'm happy with where I am and I'm excited about what I'm doing and I am excited about this restaurant that I'm going to or I'd love to take you to it. like having that sense of excitement for what you're doing and yourself is also a really great way to stand out. if you, let me explain this a little bit further. Like if you're showing up on a date and you're kind of like, yeah, like I don't love what I do, but like I have no idea what I want to do and like I haven't found it in a while and like I'm not sure where I like living yet and I'm just.

I don't really have any favorite restaurants right now and like I'm not I don't know what I really do on the weekend and like I'm definitely in between a few shows but like I don't have like a favorite I'm like That doesn't do like that just doesn't give off a vibe of like somebody that wants to be dating or somebody that like if you were on other side of the if you were on other side of that table in that conversation you'd be like, oh Like let get me the fuck out of here. I check waiter

Like, please get me out of here. I felt it even when I was saying it, like versus somebody that's like, yeah, like I'm not, I don't love what I'm doing, but like I love my coworkers or like I have a sense of what I want to do next or I have a sense of where I want to go. And I tried this restaurant last week that I really loved and I love this about my area. And I'm watching this TV show that I love right now. And I hadn't found a show in a while, but like I finally found this one and I'm so excited to see this movie. And like, I just saw this thing or I just read this thing or like I'm

I want to start this book. haven't read in a while, but like I really want to start this book. I saw that people are reading or people are talking about like there's such a difference between somebody that is excited and is confident versus like anxious and nervous and unsure of themselves and really doubtful. And you can be that like, I'm not telling you don't feel those things. I'm not telling you not to feel the way you feel, but when you're on a date or when you're trying to present yourself to somebody else or at least like get to know somebody else.

Trying to be excited or trying to be confident is a great way to start sanding out and it's a great way to feel better about yourself and your situation. Like I think you got the difference of what I'm trying to say of like the, yeah, like I don't know, versus like, yeah, like I'm figuring it out. Like things are looking good. Like I'm starting to like get, I'm starting to get it. I'm starting to put it together. Like there's a very big difference of those two people. And obviously you want to be one and not the other in dating and in early dating.

Josh Felgoise (25:30.787)

Asking questions listening intently asking follow-up questions getting the door for her pulling out her chair if you can without it being like awkward and that you're trying to do it too much like I've definitely had experiences where I'm trying to hold the door and like open the door and it's like you know those restaurants that have like the two doors you open the first one and then like she's opening the second ones and you're

Like now I'm the one walking into the restaurant like the maitre d's gonna see me as like the one who got held the door for Like that sucks and that's not what I wanted So you try and open the first door and then she's in there and you're like hold on and you like kind of push her over and like throw her to the side to open the second door and you're like Please lady first like after you m'lady like that like super awkward second door situation where you're like trying to run and you like accidentally trip her and then you trip yourself and like you fall into the door face first like you know like it's it can be awkward so like

You're not trying to like push the politeness in the manners, but like you're being aware of it and you're trying your best to do all of the right things. Not to the extent of looking crazy and like falling face first into the glass door, but like trying your best to do all of that and have the etiquette. Another one is if you're asking her on the date, a good rule of thumb is if you asked on the date, you should pay for the date, especially the first date, the second date.

the third date probably like if you're asking on the date you should pay for the date. I think that's a very good hard and fast rule and that should be like a kind of blanket statement. I don't think there's a lot of like and ifs or buts about it like you can debate on it but like I think it's attractive to pay on the first date it might be stereotypical it might be like

I don't know, like it might be all the different things that you're thinking of that I'm trying to say if you're a guy paying on a first date. I still think it's the right thing to do. And I think it's a thing that guys should do on a first date. Be kind to the waiter. Like this is also a very obvious one, but like saying thank you and please and like just like having those sort of manners toward the other people at the restaurant and like the staff.

Josh Felgoise (27:37.533)

I think is also a really good look. Of course, you might be like, Josh, duh. Of course, I'm to be kind to the waiter. I'm not going to be like, yeah, fuck off. Like you just took my meal. Like you just took my drink order. Like a shoe. Like get away. Get out of here. Like you're going to obviously you know to be kind. It's just something is like to point out that I thought should be pointed out. And of course, like I don't think everybody always does it. Like I don't think that's always something that people do. And it might come off.

from nervousness or anxiety that you just like forget to do it, but I think it's something to be aware of or try to do. Not going on your phone throughout the date is I think really important and makes you stand out. If you're paying attention and attentive and like just really present in the date, you're obviously makes it much easier to ask follow-up questions and be engaged if you're not like ever checking your phone.

an hour and half, most likely. Like you do not need to check your phone for the entirety of the date. That unfortunately includes like doing the tip on your calculator, which for somebody like me, like I love to do the tip on my calculator. Just move the decimal point to over and like you are going to be golden. Just skip the phone throughout the date and put it away before she gets there. If you can.

and keep it away throughout the entirety of the day. And I think it makes you look good. It makes you look confident. It makes you look like you want to be there. It makes you like you want to be present and you're excited about her. You're intrigued and you want to be there with her when you're not checking the phone. I think that is a really good way to look good. The next section I am calling communication part two and initiation. I wanted to rhyme communication and initiation, but I already did a communication part one. So this is part two.

Communication after the date is really important. like I talked about the before the date, confirming the date, texting to say like, Hey, I'm looking forward to seeing you tonight or I'm looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. Like, Hey, just making sure we're still on for 7 30 tonight at X restaurant or X bar, whatever it is. That's the first part of communication I think is really important. The second part is after the date and also like rule of the road that like is the it's probably

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second biggest one is Text her and make sure that she got home safely after the date be like hey I just want to make sure you got home safely or when she's leaving be like hey like text me when you get home like want to make sure you get home safely That is a good guy thing to do That's something I think every guy should do and makes you stand out as a good guy as a good person in general

making sure they got home safely is something that everybody should do. Even if the day didn't go that well and you don't want to see them again. It's just, gives you a good air. It gives you a good sense. leaves a good taste in her mouth that you are a good person. And even though it didn't work out, you're a good guy and she's not gonna look back at you and hate you. And then if it went well, keeping that communication. So.

texting them that night of if you want to and if it went really well and you want to say like, had such a great time with you, like I'd love to see you again. Or the next morning, like here's something you could say and like again, one of those reference points that for next time you're looking for what to say, hey, I had a really great time with you and I would love to take you out again. Or hey, I had a really great time with you tonight and I'd love to see you again soon. Like then you could follow up after she texts and be like, how is Thursday this week? Or like is, does Wednesday or Thursday work for you? And

I think that is like the best way to show that you're interested because you know the feeling like if a date or maybe you don't yet but like you will at some point soon know the feeling of when a date went really well you are just waiting and hoping that they're gonna text you back and they also feel the same way about you and about the date and that is that's like the texting etiquette now like that's what's changed so much from dating five to ten years ago to now is that

That text is a confirmation that you're both excited. You're both interested. You both want this to move forward. It's like a very bubbly, like butterflies in your stomach feeling when that text does come through, when you see their name on your phone, when you see like Riley Hinge pop up, you're like, like, yes, like, like, I'm so excited about that. Like that is, it's a feeling that is really hard to replicate when you're so excited about somebody and you're, you're just

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really wanting them to feel the same way about you. So by sending them that text, you give them that feeling. That's a great way to stand out. Give them that feeling that you also want back. And just by being like, hey, I had such a great time with you tonight, or hey, I really loved our time tonight. Whichever way you want to type it out, write it out, and then say, like, I'd love to take you out again, or I'd love to get drinks again soon. I'd love to take you on another date. I'd love to see you again. One of those is great.

The initiation section of this category is that you should be initiating the plans or planning the date is another great way to say that. You should be the one that is making the next plan. The first plan, the second plan, the third plan, I think is another good like rule of thumb is that like you should probably plan the first three dates. After that is the time in which you can start like talking about what you want to do together or what you want to do next. At least the first two you should be planning.

So when you follow up and you say like, hey, I had a really great time. Like I'd love to take you out again. And she's like, I had a great time as well. Like so excited to see you again soon. And you should come up with what you want to do next. So you should say like, I saw this taco spot on Tik Tok. Like I'd love to go to her. I've been really, really wanting to try this restaurant. Like would you want to go there? Or I know a really great drink spot. Like would love to take you to this. Or like I have a favorite bar I'd love to take you to. I have a restaurant I'd love to take you to.

I saw this drink spotter. saw this cocktail bar online that I'd love to go to. I think it'd be really fun. You should be making the second plan and the next date. Another really easy way to stand out is by doing that. Asking on the next date. You should be the one also to pay for that date. Like I think the same way I said it before, if you're making the plan, if you're asking on the date, you should pay for the date. When you get into more dates or when you get into her making the plan, you guys making the plans together, that's when

She can pay for a drink and you can pay for a drink or you guys can split the bill or she can pay for something you pay another like that's when the payments start to kind of you know you everybody figures it out on their own and each couple obviously lives in a very different way or navigates that differently so I can't speak like in a blanket statement toward that but you should pay if you're asking on the second date and you should be asking on the second date so you're most likely going to be paying. So pick a place and make a plan simple as that and.

Josh Felgoise (34:15.453)

It's so much easier than going back and forth to be like, what should we do next? Or like, what do you want to do next? And then like, just kind of going back and forth and not having a solid or set plan. You have so much time to do that later in your relationship for like not knowing what to do or what to do for a date or who's going to what you want to eat. Like I promise there is time later in your relationship to do that. So don't worry about doing that now and just pick a place and set the date. And that is your responsibility. And again, that might be stereotypical and that might be

Whatever I still think that is the right thing for the guy to do and a good way to stand out the last section is kind of like the extra section the miscellaneous like the stuff that I think I Some more things that you can do to stand out or look good to the girl You're seeing or whoever you're seeing on a date. So I didn't have a category for this So I'm just calling it the I didn't have a way to like

put these together, so I'm just calling it the extra section. So here are some more things that you can do to stand out. I made an episode called How to Become More Interesting. It's from January 13th. And I think I outlined really great ways to start finding new interests and hobbies and passions that make you more interesting. And it makes you more interesting not just for dating, but it

you can bring that energy into your day. Like when you have something that you're passionate about or you love or you want to talk about or you want to share with somebody, it can be as small as a restaurant you want to go to and as big as the marathon you're running or the company you're starting or the book you're reading or the movie you want to watch or like whatever it is for you.

Having something that you're passionate about and excited about and interested in and a hobby or whatever one of those is one of the best ways to stand out in dating and makes you seem like somebody that has interests and has hobbies and has passions and has things they want to do and has some sort of direction or kind of something that they want in life. So listen to that episode. If you if you hear that title or you hear me say like how to be more interesting and you're like what?

Josh Felgoise (36:33.529)

Listen to that episode. think it was really good and I'm really proud of that one. And I think that is in that same, this same category of like things I wish I heard before or things I wish someone told me. So that's the first thing is just like another self promo, but in all, like in all seriousness, I really do think that is a really good way to stand out. Going to the gym and staying fit is another good way to stand out. Like if, if it's obvious that you take care of yourself and you

Clip your nails. And like this is a whole other category of like shaving your face, clipping your nails, nose hair, like making sure your nose hair is trimmed. You can like pluck between your eyebrows. There are like things that you can do before brushing your teeth, like having good breath. Like there are things like that, that like are appearance things that you can do, like that we all should do. Clipping your nails is something I think a lot of guys forget that like we should just always do before a date. Shaving, unless you have like a beard that you like or whatever.

Nose hair, think is a really big one. Making sure there's nothing in your teeth. Yeah, stuff like that is just another, I wanted to say it without, like, I didn't know where to put that, but I wanted to say it. Smelling good, so like deodorant, having a cologne, and not like over-spraying it. You don't have to like a thousand times, just like one on your wrist you can rub together and then like put on your neck. I don't even know that's the proper way to put cologne on, but that's how I do it. And then like spraying one that you walk through or you jump through, I think that's fun, I always do that. So having a cologne.

Like doing all the things that you think you should do or the things that you might not know to do but like that's that's that list I think is a good list. Shower, shit, shave, the three S's, the three big, the three horsemen and all the hairs like trimming and like keeping your, you know, trim everywhere you think you should trim.

Finding a good outfit or a few that you feel good in and you look good in. If you have a sister or you know a girl in your life that you can run an outfit by or ask for advice, like they know much better than we do. So ask for what you should be wearing or ask for outfit advice or just send them a picture and be like, Hey, like, does this look good? Or like, do you, do you like this or should I change this or like, what do you recommend asking a girl in your life, a sister, a mom, like whoever, if they think you look good or they like your outfit or they like,

Josh Felgoise (38:53.381)

Even if you want to help going shopping or buying a couple new outfits or knowing what to wear, what shoes to wear, asking a girl in your life is a great thing to do and they know much better than we do. They just do, sorry, like they do. So those are the things that I think will help you to stand out in dating. Help you to stand out to a girl or someone you're seeing. I think are things that every guy should be doing.

can be doing to make themselves stand out in dating. And I think you can come back to this anytime you're starting dating, seeing someone new after a break from dating, you can send this to a friend that's single and starting dating or looking to start dating. Send this to a friend who kind of like maybe doesn't know where to start or wants to start.

If you're new here, I'm Josh. I'm 25 years old and I do this every single week every single Tuesday I think that having a place to talk about the things that should be talked about for guys is so incredibly important and I don't see it anywhere else So I wanted to create it and I have done it for almost three years now This is almost the 150th episode of the podcast. So if you're looking for other categories or other

topics there are so many episodes ranging from the categories of dating like this to mindset to style to what to wear to confidence to career to work to really like any of the categories or any of the things that you're You have questions about you're wondering about that you're unsure about but you think nobody else is unsure about

That is kind of the goal of this podcast and like each week I try and do a different category and try and like find something that I'm either going through or have gone gone through myself, something that I've had a question about that I've wanted advice on. and I give it and I try and create an episode around something like that specifically each week, every single Tuesday. And I'm so proud of what I've done here so far. I'm

Josh Felgoise (41:11.365)

So excited that I get to do this, that I can do this, that this is something that is out in the world for people to hear, for younger guys to hear, for older guys to hear, for anybody that wants this and is looking for this. It's something that I was always looking for in the world. So just to like be able to do this and to create this is feels like kind of my purpose. So there's so many episodes. There's so many things that you can find. so there's so many guests I've had on to in the past few months. I've done a lot of solo episodes because I think that

I've had so many topics that I just have gotten a lot better at this by the way over time I feel like so if you go back in the earlier episodes, you'll you'll hear that there are a lot more edited there's a lot more like breaks in what I'm saying and I was just a lot more unsure and doubtful of what I was doing and if this was good and if this was right and if this was good enough and I now feel so much more sure of it and so much more excited about everything I'm saying and much more confident in everything I'm saying

So you'll notice that throughout the, if you go back and listen to the earlier episodes to the now episodes, there's it's growth and that is kind of the same thing in anything. Like you just have to start something and believe in yourself and believe that you're going to get better at it. And I'm just going into like a referendum on this podcast, I guess. So I'll stop shortly, but, while I'm at it, like, you just have to believe that you're going to get better at something with time. And if you keep believing in yourself and you keep putting an effort behind it, that

It will work and you will, you know, find your groove and find what works and find what's right and reach the people that you're trying to reach and do the thing that you've set out to do. And I really feel like I've started to do that in the past few months. So there's been a lot more solo episodes, a lot more of me talking about the topics I think should be talked about and answering the questions that guys are asking.

That is the episode. Thank you so much for listening to guys set a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh. I'm 25 years old and I'm here every single week, every single Tuesday to talk about what should be talked about for guys. If you liked this episode, I really hope you did. Please like subscribing this podcast five stars and read that 24 five stars, not four, not three, not two, not one. It's five stars. Thanks so much for that. I really appreciate that.

Josh Felgoise (43:24.097)

If you have anything that should be talked about for guys, head over to guyset.com. That is my website. It's a blog that I write three blog posts on every single day or just a website. I write three things on every single day. The topics range from, as I said, dating, confidence, mental health, mindset, career advice, like really anything that I think should be talked about. And I answer the questions that guys are asking. I post three or four now every single day on there.

And I'm so excited about what I'm building over there. It's kind of an extension of what I do on here over there. Just more answers, more advice, more recommendations, more kind of doing what I do here on there and another way to find advice or recommendations in a different format. So there's an ask me anything at the top. You can ask me anything I want to talk about anything you think should be talked about for guys. And I will bring that into the dear guys that episode I do every third week of the month where I answer

questions that you guys write in. answer like seven to 10 of them per episode. And I can also do a whole episode on them if it's something that I think should really like be thought through and thought out more carefully and thoroughly. I have gotten so much inspiration or so many episodes from questions that I've seen or questions that have been written in from guys that have found this podcast and found me and

been asked to me just like, like, do think of this? And I'll basically probably do a full episode on whatever your question is. and that is one of the best ways this podcast kind of, or I know what to talk about or what people want me to talk about. you can watch this full episode on YouTube at guys set G U Y S E T. You can find blog posts every single day on guyset.com. Thank you so much. Listening to guys set the guys guide to what should be talked about. And I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys.