How To Plan the Perfect Date Night

Josh Felgoise (00:00.204)

Welcome to Guy's Set, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh, I'm 24 years old, and I'm here to find all the tips, advice, and recommendations for everything you're wondering about. Let's get into

Josh Felgoise (00:17.88)

Hi guys, welcome back to guyset, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh, I'm 24 years old, and this week's topic is one of my favorite things to talk about on here, and that is dating, date nights, and going on dates in general. Because I think it's one of the biggest things that guys have in common throughout our 20s, throughout our 30s, and it's one of the things that really should be talked about more for guys in general, because it's one of the things that is most constant through all of our lives.

Whether you are exclusively seeing somebody in a relationship You have want to are or will be going on dates if you aren't or you are right now you I don't think I'm any sense actually what I mean by that is you either are going on dates right now or you want to be or you will be soon or you've been thinking about it and Hesitating and all of those things that we all have experienced whether you're currently on dates right now or Planning a date soon or wanting to plan a date like you're on an app. You're on hinge

You get the point, like we're all in the phase right now where everybody's going on dates. And even if you're exclusively seeing somebody and in a relationship, you're still going on dates and planning date nights. And that is why this topic and this episode is literally for everybody. It's for every guy to listen to. I think this, is one of the episodes that is for everybody. And, and some tips may resonate more with other people because they're more about like planning first dates and second dates and third dates and so on. But overall, like

If you're in relationship right now, like you still are planning date nights like currently I'm planning a date night for this either Thursday or Friday I should probably really get on that as it's Monday and That's like two days away. So I should probably be better about that communication. We'll talk about that later But like whether you're in that or not like you're still planning shit and having to think about what you want to do next It's easier for some than others depending on what stage of the relationship you're in or situationship you're in But we're all planning dates

And I've done previous episodes on the first date, specifically what to do, when to text, what to say, where to go, what to wear. This one is more all-encompassing. I'm talking about date night in general. I've now personally been in a relationship for a little bit over a month and a half now. I should probably know that exact date, but, and as I said, like the pressure of date night is still on. Of course it's a lot less pressure.

Josh Felgoise (02:41.678)

Because I don't have to deal with like the issue and text me back like is she gonna like me should I go for the kiss at end of the night like all those questions when do I send the follow-up text like all of those questions are I don't have to worry about as much right now or I don't have to worry about as much no stop saying as much I don't worry about anymore right now because I know the answers to all of those but I still have the pressure of date night and I'm gonna talk about planning dates in general being good about communication and communication in general

One of my friends recently said to me that he's excited to hear my new perspective about dating because this is the first time that you or any listener is hearing from me while I'm in a relationship on this podcast and It's like so far I've been single and going on dates and you've heard a lot of my dating experiences some much worse than others you've heard all of it and Maybe I shared more than I should have or maybe you wanted me to share more than I actually did

You know, you can't quite make everybody happy including the girls that I one of the dates with but as I said some ended better than others some ended up in situation ships and you can go back and listen to all of those experiences because I and I went back before doing this episode and actually listened back to a few of those and I'm so happy to have those episodes because they really are they do stand as like a moment in time in my life.

where I was like going through like a situationship or I was going through those first date jitters, which I know a lot of people and most people, I think probably everybody still experience when going on a first date. I'll talk more about first date anxiety in a little bit. I've gotten asked the question before, like, do you ever regret like putting out episodes like that? And no, like I think it's amazing to have those experiences to look back on and see how far I've grown and also like recognize where I once was, where I am now.

And if I'm ever in that place again, like knowing that I there's room to grow and there's room to learn and, and listen and gain new perspective and new experiences and, having those episodes is really great because they relate to people in those experiences. And now I want to share some more about the experiences I'm going through currently, because that is where I am at in life. And that is what that friend told me he is looking for more from me and, and sharing more about like my current life. which I've, as I said in the episode,

Josh Felgoise (05:03.22)

Episode 68, which I talked about being a commitment phobe, which is like a tough title to put on it. It was kind of just a catchy name, but being a little bit more afraid of committing and not or not ready to commit to the relationship.

And I talked about sharing more about that on here and that is what I'll be doing. I've done a deep dive into those experiences and not a whole lot yet into the relationship world, partly because I'm very new to it and don't have a lot of expertise on the topic. As I said, I've, I've over a month of expertise on the topic, which is literally nothing. but that is always been the point of this podcast and

The point was never to be an expert on any topics. I've never claimed to be an expert on anything and never ever will be. But the point is and always will be to share experiences alongside everybody else because that is what I was looking for when I started this. And the goal is and continues to be talking about the experiences that guys have that should be talked about because I couldn't find a place where those conversations were taking place or happening.

Which is why I created a place for it and that is what I continue to do. So here we go. So I want to start by telling you about the dates I've been on recently and these are all with the girl I've been dating and I personally cannot date two people at once. Obviously in this case I mean casually like not date two people in like relationships. That would be insane. I'm not a serial cheater. Like that's not what I'm saying here, but

Previously that was never something I could be able to do. Like I could just never be able to handle dating more than one person at a time. I am either in or I'm out and I just can't split my feelings up and I honestly always tend to develop feelings with the person I'm seeing and always somehow get attached and just can't not. But I don't judge anybody that does date more than one person at a time and I think that's...

Josh Felgoise (06:59.52)

Incredibly normal like did to date casually especially in your 20s early 20s early 30s, whatever fuck it. I don't care you do you I don't think I don't judge anybody that dates casually and just like it's seeing what's out there at the same time I know a lot of people do it I think that's probably the most common way that people are dating nowadays I think it's pretty normal, but it's just not something I could ever do and I have friends that do both like I have some friends that can see more than one girl at a time and I have some friends that are like me and like

are one guy girls, like one girl guys, like can't do more than one at a time. And sometimes I'm honestly pretty impressed by the people that can date multiple people casually for lots of reasons, for scheduling purposes, for mental health purposes, for mindset purposes, for feelings purposes, like emotional purposes, financial purposes, like it's an effort to see and invest your time and energy into let alone one person. I don't know how people can do it with two people. That's impressive, honestly.

so you do you more power to you if that's you like seriously no judgment on that But that was all to say that i'm telling you about the dates I went on recently with my current girlfriend. and that's not to say like current as if i'm going to Jesus, this episode is going to get me broken up with but if it doesn't i'll share more about my relationship experiences. So here we go. I Also think by the way all of these date ideas and date night ideas

Apply to all age groups basically like unless you're 16 and watching movies in your basement while your parents are upstairs cooking dinner like for the most part this order of date nights or these ideas for dates should be relevant to most people so for the first date and as I said, I did a whole episode on like before the first date or first date recap or what to do for a first date and I actually like that episode. I it was called like 27 minutes of first date advice where I literally ran through like what to do from

the outset of the date, like the texting to plan the date, what to text, like, or what I text at least, what to, what I wear, what to wear, like cologne, the text before, the text the day of, the text after, like what to do if you're nervous about the kiss after, like literally every single thing I outlined and went over. And I plan to always redo those types of episodes because I just think I learn more and gain more knowledge as I go. So I'll.

Josh Felgoise (09:21.068)

I just keep like kind of refreshing my perspective and opinion on that type of thing. But that was literally like a step by step what to do. So if you're looking for like a literal how to guide to first dates, that is your episode. But this one is more about like first date in general, like the planning of it, the actual date. And I believe that first dates, it's like if they drink, it's always easy to just get drinks. Like it's a very casual format and setting. And most of the time, it's not crazy expensive.

And it also gives you like a really nice time frame a two glass time frame I'll call it if it's going well You'll get the second glass three if you're feeling crazy And if it's not going well after the first glass you'll both be like all right Like it was really nice to meet you like I hope you have a really good night Or you walk them out or walk them to the cab or the uber or however getting home car. don't know Whatever, hopefully maybe they're not driving if they're drinking I don't condone driving and drinking but I'm for the most part think that wine or drinks cocktails

Whatever your preferred drink is, is the easiest date. Of course, not everybody drinks. So I don't have a lot of experience with non drinking first dates. Um, but you could, Oh, actually that's not true. I, one time I had strep throat. So I went and got gelato for a first date. like ice cream is a great first date. Um, second thought, I probably shouldn't have gone on that strep throat date. That was a little crazy. I had rescheduled it already the first time. So I decided that I probably shouldn't do it again or she'll think I hated her.

Which I probably I most likely stand by but maybe looking back maybe shouldn't have done that but ice cream coffee Or just go get food like at appetizers or something like tacos or something. Just very casual if you're not drinking that's always really easy to But for the most part I I go for drinks So what we did and I'm gonna lay it out like that like four first dates what I recommend and then what we actually did and then I'll give you like a note as well

What we did for the first date was I planned to go get margaritas and guacamole because like over our text conversations she had said that she really liked Mexican food. So I was like, okay, like that's a, that's a casual, easy date. It's not a full on dinner date. And I just think dinner is kind of hard for a first date because like you don't really know their preferences or like if they're cool with splitting an appetizer or like paying for the entrees and then you're drinking, like it's just a lot of, it's a lot of decision-making before you know the person's hometown.

Josh Felgoise (11:39.832)

So I think an easier first date is like appetizers and drinks or just appetizers or something like that. That's just very casual. Again, this is just a setting. Like it's just a backdrop for the conversation. So wherever you feel most comfortable having this conversation and getting to know the person, you will be best. Like wherever you will feel most comfortable is what you should do. That's kind of the end all be all to this answer or to this recommendation and piece of advice. It's like,

What you feel most comfortable doing is what you should do. So if you think that the setting of like sitting across the table from each other and having a glass of wine is where you'll thrive the best and, and, and feel the most comfortable, then that, then it should be there. If you think that like you'd be best having chips and guacamole or like getting some tacos and walking around.

That's what you should do. whatever you, whichever setting you'd feel most confident in is the setting that you should take it in the setting that you should plan the first date for. so I plan to do guac and marks and then we got to the place and it was closed. So we ended up going to this like Spanish tapas, tapas food hall, which was really not my ideal first date, like really like the opposite of what I wanted to do. And then we ended up getting croquettes and, and like sangria, which ended up being a really great time.

Again, it's literally just the setting for a conversation. and it's the backdrop and it's just something to do while you're talking into this person. So it ended up being really not my ideal first aid setting, but ended up making for a very funny story. And we reference it all the time because it's just a funny moment together, like a funny shared highlight that is, was awkward. And we were both like, what the fuck are we doing at this Spanish restaurant? didn't go as planned, but like man plans, God laughs. It ended up absolutely.

downpouring that night after the croquettes and sangria. So we like ran back to the Uber or train station wherever I ended up dropping her off. And it ended up just being like a very funny date. So those also make for the best when it just doesn't go as planned at all. And you can go with the flow. Like if if I had gotten really stressed and I kind of did it first, I was kind of like, fuck, like in my head, I was like, fuck, like, how did I not make sure that place was open? And like looking back, like how did I not make sure that place is open? But also like

Josh Felgoise (13:55.608)

How was that place not open at like 8 p.m. on a Wednesday? I think it must have actually just closed earlier for something but I could have planned better and looking back I didn't really plan that date until like two days before but I'm sure like most of you are in the same boat they're like you're not planning that far in advance and most of the dates you're planning are two to three days before so like on like Monday or Tuesday you're like hey like how's Thursday for this thing and you're planning it then most of that's

I'm making an assumption. I'm making an assumption based off of like how most guys I know plan for things. Maybe some of you are much better than others. So looking back, I should have been a little better about that. So that's for like the first date and also a note on first dates. Again, I keep saying that this is just for the date night and I up going on like a lot of different rants because I have a lot to say, but

On the first date, you're of course going to be nervous and anxious, because it's a first date. Like it's the first time you're meeting somebody new that you're probably hopeful about and you're excited about. And that's a really good feeling. It's a great feeling to have. And I have been nervous to some extent on every single first date I've ever been on. It's like lifting weight to the gym. Stick with me here.

When you start, it's all incredibly heavy and you look around and think how the fuck is everybody else lifting these weights so easily. Then you start going more and more often and you start lifting more weights and you're able to lift heavier weights. They're still heavy every single time you're lifting the weights, but it gets easier because you're getting stronger. It's similar to dating because you're still nervous, but with more dates and with more reps, you get a little bit more used to it and you know what to expect more.

And also how awesome is it? Like if you, if you flip, flip your mindset for a second, like how cool is it that we get to be nervous and excited about something like that? Like we're in a place in our lives where we get to be anxious about going on a date with somebody or hopefully going to get to like, and get to see more and get to spend a lot more time with somebody that you never knew before and somebody that could come into your life and become a big part of it. Like obviously not putting too much pressure on any.

Josh Felgoise (16:01.962)

Any one date or anything but like how awesome is it that we get to experience that like all the time in our 20s? I just think that's really cool and I wanted to mention that as well and then I think the biggest question that a lot of guys have going into a first date before during after the date is Should I go in for the kiss at the end of the date? Should I go for the hug? Like what the fuck do I do after the date and I've come to learn?

with the more dates I've gone on with the two years of dating in New York is that you have to leave it up to the vibe and you'll know, like genuinely you'll know. You have to trust yourself in these instances and if you're feeling it's right, it's probably right. And once you go for it, you will know soon enough if it was right. And if you're not feeling it and you have a lot of doubt and anxiety about it, then it's probably not right.

And it's okay to go for the hug and see what happens next time or see if she wants to go on another date with you It doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing If you guys don't end up making out in the night like that doesn't have to happen Not every date is gonna end up in like that fairy tale sidewalk kiss or the kiss before you send her off in the cab or the uber or the car back to where she's going or the kiss in front of the doorstep before she walks up into her home like not every date is going to be that magical fairy tale ending and I don't think that's always a bad thing like

I think it's okay to take it slow and take your time reading the vibe and understanding how you're feeling and how she's feeling. But honestly, like, I really think this is the situation where you need to trust your gut. And at the end of the day, you'll know. Like, my advice here is to just trust yourself and trust your gut. Like, there really is no finite answer to that question that I've had on a lot of dates. I know a lot of other guys have had on dates. It's been a question that's been written in to me.

One of the very few questions that's been written into me and I've also seen on Reddit a bunch is that question of like, what do I do after the date? And I think you just have to go with the vibe. Like if it's working out, it will work out. And if you have a feeling that it's not, then you should just give it more time and just let it progress as it is. Don't rush into it and don't scare yourself away or don't scare it all away. Don't scare the vibe away.

Josh Felgoise (18:19.746)

Don't rush into it. It will happen when it's supposed to happen and you'll know. On to the second date. I think the best way to decide what to do for the next date is to listen to what they have said in the conversation in the previous date or if you completely blanked out on what they said in the date and if you were like kind of in like a blackout, not because you're drunk and blacked out, but because like it's overwhelming and you're nervous and all of that.

if you just kind of missed what happened in the date or you missed the moment that you were looking for, to plan the next date, this is a conversation that can happen over text. Like, like what's your favorite drink or what's your favorite type of wine or what's your favorite type of cuisine? Do you like Mexican food? Do like Italian food? And you can go like kind of figure it out from there. But then after that, like overall be decisive and make a decision and pick something and stick with it. Because at the end of the day,

As I said before, really is just a setting for you to get to know the person more and continuously. And if it's a flop, like my croquet sangria date, sometimes that makes for an even funnier date and it makes it even more memorable. So just don't put an intense amount of pressure on yourself to plan the perfect date night for the first time or the second time. But you're most likely going to be texting in between...

The first date in the second date so it makes it a little bit more casual and takes out some of those nerves and anxieties that are still there of course but become a little bit less with more time talking to this person getting to know them a little bit more. So plan that second date based on something you've talked about on the first date or in that like first week of texting and conversation. What we did for the second date was we went to a wine bar. We discussed on the first date that she really liked white wines and I also like white wines. went to this place that.

Has this like happy hour wine that I I really like and again in the beginning I talked about like wine dates are the perfect date because it sets that like two glass time zone or time limit Where if it's going great you keep drinking and if it's not you have one or two and like you're on your merry way and if you want to split a bottle then you split a bottle and that's probably like what two and a half glasses and that's and it's not so insanely expensive for a date either that's what we did for the second date

Josh Felgoise (20:31.926)

The third date I kind of see as a turning point in the situationship relationship because after this one you're deciding kind of like whether or not you want to be in it. Now I'm not saying this all to like put the pressure on this one and of course if you want to keep feeling it out and are still unsure like of course you should do that.

It doesn't have to be this like methodical scientific like first date, second date, third date, like fuck we have to do this on this date. Like, my God, if I don't do this by this time, like it's not gonna work. Like no, it's always up to you. It's always different and situational and depends upon you and the person and where you're at in your life and everything. it's, it's every single relationship is situational. I'm just kind of giving like an overall first date, second date, third date guideline situation. But I think it's kind of a good rule of thumb and probably something that most people who

are dating agree with I hope that the third or maybe maybe the fourth we'll call it third and fourth are where it gets a little bit more serious or just like a little bit more like am I gonna keep doing this or do I want to keep seeing this person so pick something where you know you both like at this point because you probably know them a little bit more than the last time at least like I hope you do by this point you get to know them a little bit more a little bit more each time

But it can be the same format as the first and second date, like drinks, cocktails, wine, appetizers, whatever. It doesn't have to be dinner unless you want it to be. And this could be a good time for that if that's what you're feeling. But you're probably getting more comfortable with this person now, so maybe dinner is a good setting for this and you're kind of ready for that. Like sit down, like sharing appetizers or sharing food or pasta or whatever you're doing and you're like willing to pay a little bit more for this date because dinner is always more expensive. So.

Just really depends where you're at in this if you're feeling really comfortable and set and like you want to keep seeing this person then dinner is great for this and if not keep doing drinks and Whatever is is best for you what we did and not to say that I wasn't sure of what I Wanted to do at this point But also to say I wasn't sure what I to do at this point was we also got wine and like fries this time So we went to a place that I really like that has really good french fries and we split a bottle of wine there, too

Josh Felgoise (22:47.714)

And I thought it was a really good date. Like I thought this was the really like a really perfect setting to just continue to get to know each other. I'm really comfortable in this setting and where I feel most confident is this type of date. So that is why I continued to pick this vibe. She wanted to sit outside and there were no tables outside. ended up getting seated next to the bathroom, which also made for a funny experience. like keep going with the flow. Like the funnier the experience is, the better it makes it. And if I had been like a cranky bitch and been like, I need to sit like

Like I love a lot like before she got there would have gotten my pants all in a twist and been all pissed and like she wasn't there yet and just made myself really anxious but we got to the next I got to the next the bathroom and I was like, fuck it like this will make for a funny joke when she sits down instead of just like freaking out and like I demand we sit outside like obviously I'm not that type of person ever but she wanted to sit outside and You know, I completely fucked that so I also got there late, but just need to know that well now that you listen to this She'll know that but it doesn't matter because it worked out. Okay, so

That is what I did for the third date, um, and I just recommend you keep kind of following that type of course. And then for the fourth date, fourth and fifth, I'm going to combine also. think at this point you're getting pretty committed to this person and to this situationship and maybe it's becoming a little bit more of a relationship at this point. And still, just because it's the fourth or fifth date, like you don't need to put a label on it or pressure yourself into making a decision if you wanted to keep seeing this person or not or.

If you have to end it like you don't have to end it it's going well, like if you're feeling it and she's feeling it or you're both vibing and it's working like keep going keep keep it up and keep going on dates and hanging out with this person and I'm pointing back to that episode again episode 68 called commitment phobe because I think it's a really good one to listen back to in context of this episode about how I was kind of nervous to commit or just kind of unsure to unsure whether I wanted to commit to relationship or not

And I think at this point, if you're in that similar mindset or state, I think it's a good idea to have a conversation about how you're feeling and how both parties are feeling at this point in time. Like just have a conversation, like not even like the, are we conversation? Like, I don't think that needs to happen right now, or, but I do think the conversation need, I think it's helpful, not needs to, nothing needs to. I think at this point it's helpful to have a conversation that's like,

Josh Felgoise (25:08.322)

Hey, like I'm really enjoying spending a lot of time with you. Like I really love what we have going on here. how do you feel about it? And just kind of having that like mature conversation that is really hard to do. and I'm sure a lot of us haven't had that conversation yet, or maybe it's our first time or second time having that conversation. but it's awkward and it's tough and it's like a very, like, it's like a stepping stone conversation to have in a relationship. And I think it really helped.

me for my relationship because I wasn't sure and I was just like, I was really heady about it. I was really in my head. And I think that conversation and her knowing where I was and where my head was at was really helpful to her as well. And then hearing her side of things was also great. So I recommend like here at this stage having that type of conversation. And I think a great setting for that conversation is maybe that's like the fifth.

I'll call it the fifth. I think a great setting for that conversation is a couple of places. Dinner and drinks. Like I keep saying drinks, but like maybe at this point it's dinner. I think a movie like dinner and a movie is a really good time for this. Like where you're more comfortable sitting in silence with this person at this point. Whereas like a movie before I did like a second date to a movie maybe a year ago, we saw Wonka. I wouldn't recommend that for a second date because it wasn't enough talking and it was a lot of sitting next to this person being like.

Are they having fun? Am I having fun? She went to the bathroom doing a really great like really great scene and I was like, why did you go to the bathroom at that time? Like a movie early on I don't think is the best plus like you're not gonna like hold hands and like cuddle in the movie at this point. It's just it's a little early for a movie in my in my mind. You do you I'm just sharing my you know me or this date could also be a great time to cook dinner at home like either you cook for her. I'm not a great cook so I won't be cooking for her. I mean I could make like

pizza or something order pizza and say cooked it or like have her cook for you whoever wants to I'm not like chauvinistic. It's Whoever is best at cooking who you cook and like watch TV or a movie at your apartment I think this is now like a good time where you're more settled in you don't need to be like Going out every single time and spending a ton of money I think this is a great time in the relationship to just like casually be in your apartment and just hang out in like sweats and

Josh Felgoise (27:30.37)

Like show them you it's like a little bit It's like that one more layer back where she you're showing that person like the real you like you're just kind of in your apartment like in your like real environment they're seeing you in that I think that also brings out the best in people and like When you're getting into relationship, I think it's so incredibly important that you are entirely you and they are also entirely them and They like that about you and you like that about them and like you're you're both

as you as possible and no one's changing for the other person. So them seeing you in your natural habitat or your natural environment and seeing how you kind of operate in your like real in your real life. I think it's also really great for a relationship. Like if you have roommates like if they're they're around like I think that's fine too. Like I don't think it needs to be this like secret session where it's just like you guys kick you kick everybody else out like it's it's all good. Like if that's if that's where you're at in life.

Then bring them to see the real you. It's kind of like the next level unlocks like the at-home date It's like in the bachelor where they bring them to like the hometown dates Like it's your at-home hometown date when you're bringing them to your apartment and like cooking and watching TV or even ordering in you Don't even have to cook ordering in or having food ordering like Chinese and just watching TV and that brings me to what we did We ordered Chinese food in and watch TV because I wasn't gonna cook. I'm not ready to to cook for her yet I barely cook for myself

So I ordered in and I think that's a great and viable option as well. And at this next level, like five dates and on, I think other great ideas are like, go see a concert of an artist you both really like. Go see a show, movie, chill at home, order food. And you kind of know what's up from here. Like, you know, the vibe four or five on. So trust yourself and trust the conversations you're going to have and you continue to have. And maybe at this point you're just both more comfortable with each other. So.

you can talk about what you wanna do for the dates and you don't have to like be the only person planning on it and you can brainstorm the dates together and you can workshop them and agree to something with each other and be like, what do you wanna do tonight? Like I actually would love for you to plan something and I'd love to come with and at this point you know them on a deeper level so those conversations don't feel as awkward and scary and anxiety inducing and it's just more normal to be like, what do you wanna do tomorrow night? Or like what do you wanna do Thursday? Let's think about it, I'd love to do something fun and just.

Josh Felgoise (29:49.73)

kind of brainstorm together or like be like, what's a restaurant you wanted to try around you? Let's go to it. Or what's a movie you want to see? Or you just like plan it together. Whereas I think earlier on it's, it's good to be decisive and not have to deal with that back and forth. Because as we know, like when we hang out with friends, everybody's indecisive when you want to go to dinner, like everyone's like, I don't know. I'm good with anything. Like whatever we could just do whatever. So it's just easy to be like, yeah, let's do this at this time. Whereas like after the three dates or after the three or four dates, brainstorming together is something that

Also makes for great conversation makes for like a fun conversation throughout the workday too. And then to share some other dates we've gone on. We saw a movie. We saw the movie. live in time with Andrew Garfield and Florence Pugh, which was incredibly sad. If you're willing and able to tear up in front of your girlfriend or the person you're seeing a significant other situation chip. really wouldn't recommend it with like a hookup. It's a, it's a lot. It's a lot.

Woof. that's what we did for another date. also, went to a concert. saw Maggie Rogers at Madison Square Garden, which was really fun. I thought that was a really great day. That's one of my favorite dates we've ever been on. I think a concert is an amazing setting for a date, but I think it has its time and place. I don't think it's a third or fourth date setting because it. It's just better when you really know the person and it's also a lot of time together. So just like make sure you're really comfortable with the person before you do that. we also saw a comedy show.

I currently have to plan, not have to, I get to. I'm excited about it, like I don't sound like I am, but I am really excited about it. I get to plan a date for Thursday or Friday night, I'm not sure yet. I really should get on that as I said. I get to plan a date for Thursday or Friday this week and I think I'm probably gonna go to dinner with her, because I'll be hungry. I really don't know yet, but like dating is a never ending cycle and whether it's with the same person or not,

You always kind of have to be planning these dates and thinking about like new and fun ideas and new ways to keep the relationship or the situationship like fun, but at the end of the day it's just a setting and it's just a place for you guys to hang out and talk and

Josh Felgoise (31:59.138)

wherever you are most comfortable is the best place for that. And nerves and anxieties never really completely reside. But when you do it more and more, you know what to expect and you're more ready for all of the possible outcomes of the date. And that I think takes away a lot of the nerves and anxieties. And I want to share like a reframing about date night because when I just said it there, like I have to plan something. My first reaction was like, I have to plan something like I have to figure out what we're going to do.

It's something that like I have to do like it's kind of on my to-do list for like to figure out like what we want to do Sometime later this week and I think when you look at date night as something you're excited about or looking forward to and like you get to do like you get to Know somebody new or find out new things about somebody and you don't bring all the expectations to it like you're not so worried about what's gonna happen after or

if the other person is gonna like you or you don't put all of these incredibly high expectations on yourself or the other person that this is gonna be something perfect or you're gonna create a life-changing memory with this wine date for the two of you and you take all the pressure off of it and just look at it as something you get to do it becomes a lot more fun and it becomes a lot more of something you actually look forward to doing and doing again and again because this is something that like we're gonna be doing throughout our 20s and 30s and beyond infinity and beyond like it's something that like we're just gonna be doing probably forever

And it's something we get to do forever because it's something that like it is exciting and it is a it's a cool thing we get to do in our in our lives is get to go and meet new people and create new connections and try new things and have new experiences with different people and hopefully create deeper connections and and meet somebody you Really love spending time with and really like and fall in love with and all the amazing things that come with all of this

Of course this depends on what you're looking for for dating and I probably should have prefaced this episode by saying like this is more for relationships than hookups. And if you're looking for a hookup this probably this whole episode probably isn't relevant for you. Like you probably knew that after when I said like date three because you know like you're not going on date three or date four if you're just looking for a hookup. So if you are dating and like dating with the intention of dating which I mean relationship or something more than just a situationship.

Josh Felgoise (34:15.433)

Set the hopeful and excited intention for the dates. Like I'm going to hopefully meet somebody tonight that I'm gonna really vibe with or I'm going in with that intention of just vibing with this person and like testing it out, seeing if I vibe with them, they vibe with me. Someone I wanna spend more time with, even if it just happens to be for one or two more dates. Like you're looking for somebody you like to be around and somebody who you can be yourself around. Somebody who brings out the best in you because you're fully yourself with them and you can tell that they are too.

That's probably one of the biggest things I've learned in my relationship so far and I don't want to make this episode too long so that probably should be its own episode. So I will be back with that shortly of like some of the things I've learned in this relationship so far because I think that was a good topic. So see you soon with that one. But being yourself on dates and making sure you know that you're actually being yourself like you're not putting on a front or you're putting on like a different kind of personality.

or or dulling your personality because you think that's what the person wants to try and kind of fit into the vibe. That is never going to work. So for now, if you are going on a date soon or you've been thinking about going on a date soon, have fun and be yourself and pick a spot that you will be most comfortable and most confident in. I believe the best dates are the ones where you set the hopeful and excited intention going into it. You go with the flow completely and you're completely yourself.

That is the episode. Thank you so much for listening to guys set a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh. I'm 24 years old and every Tuesday I come on here to talk about the topics and conversations that should be talked about for guys in their twenties. If you like this episode, please like subscribe to this podcast. Five stars. That's one, two, three, four, five and leave review positive or negative. I would appreciate a positive one. That would be really awesome. And the five stars. Don't forget that.

If someone help I should be talked about send my email to Josh at guys at comm j o s h at gu is ct comm or my DMS at the guys at th g g u i s c t comm on tik tok Instagram all the social medias YouTube reddit r slash guys set that email I already told you my website guys at comm there's a down below There's a google thing you can leave questions for You can sign up for the newsletter down there. Check out the website. Check out everything Thank you so much for listening and I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys