Friends vs. Girlfriends, Going Back to Friends, and Modern Dating Rules: Dear Guyset

Welcome back to another dear guyset session where I answer the questions that guys are asking. Whether that's questions on situations, situationships, relationships, really anything you want advice on, and I give you my answer to the best of my abilities. I do these once a month, every third week of the month, and answer anything you want me to talk about that should be talked

As always, am no expert, I am just a 25 year old guy going through this alongside you and sharing what I've learned and what I continue to learn along the way with you. I think there is a really big value in that and it's a step in the right direction of guys talking about the things that they don't really ever talk about or don't know where to find an answer to or advice on. And I think it's comforting to know that somebody else has been there.

before or is there right now or will be there soon at some point and that's why I'm here and that's the whole purpose of this podcast in the first place and I think it's always good to have another opinion or an outsider's opinion and if anything this is here as like a here's how I've done it before or here's how I would do it if I was in that situation

And I hope you can use that advice to inform whatever it is you're dealing with, going through, about to deal with. And at least it's helpful just to hear another thought or hear it kind of talked out or thought through. And if I really do believe that like if one guy is asking these questions or one of these questions that there are hundreds, if not thousands upon millions of guys who also have this question, who are looking for advice on this same topic. And I think there's a big comfort in that.

So thank you to everybody who wrote in for this week's questions over the past month. These are some of my favorite episodes to do. And as I've seen, there's some of your favorite episodes and I've gotten an increased amount of submissions for questions along the time that I've done this. And I'm just so grateful for that. So if you have any questions, anything you me to talk about, you can head over to guyset.com. There is an ask me anything box.

Josh Felgoise (02:29.872)

On the homepage of the website, there's also an ask me anything at the top navigation bar. You can DM me as well at the guy said, or at guys said podcast on Tik TOK or on Instagram. You can email me, Josh at guy set. There's tons of different ways to reach me and ask your questions. Uh, and I will bring them to the show and answer them every month in a dear guy set session. So let's get into it.

I start every Dear Guy set episode by answering a question that I mentioned in the end of last episode as kind of like a little cliffhanger for you to get you excited about the next episode. So the first question that I'm going to answer in this episode is, my friends don't like my girlfriend and I don't see why. I feel like they should. What should I do?

Josh Felgoise (03:19.333)

This is a tough one. I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at, I'm not. I'm not laughing. I never laughed. That's not, take that out. I didn't laugh. Cut. Editors. There's no editors. It's just me. I think this is a really, really tough situation. So again, I'm sorry I laughed. I didn't mean to laugh. I think this is really, really tough and I don't envy you in this position. I'm sorry that you're dealing with this or going through this. I would first recommend like to think about why your friends do not like this person.

Do they think that like maybe she's not good for you? Has she not been good to you or not been good for you? Like are there real things that they're thinking about when coming to this opinion or drawing this conclusion about her or do they just not like her? Like are they just kind of anti her? Like they just like kind of think she's a bitch or like kind of think she's like not that nice or whatever. Like is there something that they genuinely have that like you should be paying attention to because

If this is a lot of friends who share this opinion and like all of your friends are kind of like, hey, like she's not that nice or like, hey, she's kind of mean or hey, she did this thing to you or like did this thing to somebody else. And I really think you should think about that. Like I think you should weigh those options. So there's two things here, right? Like one, maybe they just don't like her and like maybe they're just drawing a conclusion or they just like think she's kind of a bitch for no reason and they don't have like a real like concrete example or concrete reason for that.

Or two, like there's something there that you should pay attention to. Because if it's all of your friends and like you said, my friends, I'm just kind of like grouping it as like a lot of people have given you this opinion or brought this to your attention. Maybe that's something that you should pay attention to. And you probably have blinders on, right? Like you're probably really excited about this relationship or this girl and that's normal and I would be too. So I don't think you need to like.

dump her. I don't think you need to break up with her, but I really think you should like consider all of the options and maybe try to take the blinders off for a second. So what I would do in the situation is I would probably ask one of your closest friends be like, Hey, I kind of feel like nobody really likes my girlfriend. Let's call her. No, I'm not going give her. Let's give her name. What do we call her? Macy. That's a good name. And I don't personally know any Macy's. So this can't, can't really come back to haunt me. I kind of feel like

Josh Felgoise (05:39.555)

Nobody likes Macy and like I feel like everybody should like is there something I'm missing like I'm coming to you Honestly, cuz like I feel like nobody likes her and I really can't tell why That friend if they're a good friend and I'm assuming they are a good friend will tell you the truth and will be like everyone just kind of thinks she's like kind of a bitch and that's not something that's I mean they have to get over if they're gonna stay like you're good friends and if you're gonna take this relationship seriously into the next level like if you if they

want to stay in your life, they're going to work their way around that and and get to know her better or spend more time with her. And that's also that's like kind of the next step here. Like I think if you want to convince them or show them that like she's not really what they think, like I think you need to do double dates with them and their girlfriend or I think you need to like kind of intermix them because at the end of the day, like they're going to be a part of your life if this is a serious relationship for you, your friends and your girlfriend. And they need to

figure out how to coexist because they're both a really big part of your life. So I would first ask a close friend or two, like, is there something I need to be paying attention to? Like, is there something I'm missing here that like you guys don't really like her for some sort of reason? Or is this just like, you don't really like her and like, just let me know because and I think it's really hard to have that conversation in the first place and like

Because it's kind of an ego hit to be like, hey, is there something I'm missing? And like, did I read this wrong? Like, is she not as good as I like? That's hard because this is probably someone you have like feelings for and you've spent a lot of time with. So it's not easy to deal with this. But because it's a close friend and you're to be like, hey, like this is between you and me. Like I'm asking you, obviously, and only you. And they'll they'll consider that and not consider it. They'll they'll take that to heart. And they're not going to like.

run their mouth and be like, can you believe like Josh just asked me about Macy? Like, no, like this is your good friend and they're going to understand that like this is not easy for you either. And you're trying to get to the bottom of it. So I would do that first. Then I would do the second thing that I was talking about is like, once you realize that maybe it's their opinion, or maybe there is something like you either have to figure out the relationship with the friends and the girlfriend, or you have to go back to the girlfriend and be like, Hey, like

Josh Felgoise (07:57.34)

Is this true or like, Hey, like, did this happen or what? Like, can you explain this to me a little bit further? Like, I'm trying to understand what happened here that a lot like that brought everyone to believe this about you or like, and these are not easy conversations. Like this is not, this is why I'm taking back that laugh. did the beginning. Like, this is not an easy scenario to be in. If your friends don't like your girlfriend, like that sucks. And I'm sorry that you're dealing with that, but I really, really do think there is a way to figure it out one way or the other.

And this isn't something you just have to navigate on your own. this is also isn't something that has to be in your head or exist only in your feelings. You do or you should, I recommend that you get to the bottom of it because it's just gonna kinda eat at you and be this thing that every time you're with your friends, you're be like, do they hate her? every time you're gonna be like, before you go to hang out with them, you're gonna think, damn, they're not gonna wanna be around me because I'm bringing her, then I'm bringing around her. this is just something that you kind of have to nip in the butt.

Is that the right expression? Nip in the bud, bud in the nip? I don't know. Definitely not that one. Not bud in the nip. I just think this is a scenario that you do have to deal with. There are some things that like, we have to have hard conversations sometimes and do the thing that is hard in the moment to make everything else a little easier going forward. And I think this is one of those moments because these are two of your biggest relationships in life. Your relationship romantically and the one with your friends.

And if those two things aren't linking or there's a disconnect between the two, like I think you are the person who has to solve that because nobody's going to solve it for you. Nobody else is going to like figure that out or tell you. Maybe you'll have a friend that just tells you and that's amazing because you don't have to deal with this on your own. But at the end of the day, I think most people are going to have to handle this themselves. Good luck with this. I'm sorry that you're dealing with it. And right back in, let me know how it goes one way or the other. The next question is

How do I become friends again after we hooked up? Well, well, okay. Another, another tough one. okay. It's not gonna happen overnight. It's not gonna happen over the next month and it may not happen over a year. And to be honest with you, I don't think this is easy. Like you do not have an easy road ahead.

Josh Felgoise (10:19.466)

I'm gonna speak from personal experience here because I've been here before, unfortunately, and I think mostly every guy has been here before. If you are friends with a girl or you are friends with the person of the other sex, like, I don't know, one in every two times, like, it's gonna lead to something else. Somebody's going to catch feelings for the other person. Like, if you're dealing with, like, two people that are into the other peo- You know what I mean? Like,

Most of the time, it's really hard for guys to be friends with girls without catching feelings. Like it's the trope we see in every rom-com or every TV show. the guy and the girl that starred as friends, but like they always kind of wanted something more because the guy really liked her, but like she was kind of like, that's just like my dorky friend. Like he doesn't like me, blah, blah, blah. And then of course he likes her.

and like fast forward to the end of season one, they make out in the elevator and then fast forward to the end of season two, they break up and they be stopped talking and then fast forward to season four. Like they see each other on the street at like after a year has passed and they're like, Hey, Hey, like it's really hard to go back. How can we go back? Sorry. Sorry for that. You know, the song back to back to friend somber, like it's really hard to become friends again after you hook up.

It's really hard because you see that person in a very different light and odds are one of the two people caught feelings or still has feelings. And it's really hard to go back to normal when you have those feelings because those feelings don't just dissipate like they don't just go away or disappear. Those feelings probably remain. They might even get stronger or deeper or harder, harder, better, faster, stronger like

It's not easy. It's not an easy thing to go back to being friends after you hook up. And I'm going to assume here that maybe you caught feelings or maybe you didn't. And maybe like I'm not going to assume I'm going to run that back either way. Like even if you tried to be friends with benefits and now you're trying to go back to friends because it didn't work out for one reason or another. Like the reason it didn't work out is kind of always hard to overcome. Like

Josh Felgoise (12:33.163)

whether you caught feelings or she caught feelings, it's hard to reel that back in. Like you're not really gonna reel that fish back in. It's really, really hard. I think if you really care enough about the relationship and the person, there is definitely a way to make the relationship like happen again. I don't think it'll ever be what it once was. And I'm sorry to say that. Like I'm just speaking from personal experience. I don't think you can ever really make the relationship what it once was.

and make the friendship as strong as it once was. I think that at the end of the day, it's really hard for guys and girls to be friends. Like, I don't know if that's like a scientific thing. I don't know if that's a universal truth. Definitely not scientific. I don't think, I don't know if it's a universal truth or not, but I think a lot of the time, it's really hard for guys and girls to be friends because somebody is going to catch feelings. Like, if you know what I'm talking about, you know what I'm talking about. If you've had a friend of the other sex, if you had a friend that's a girl, or you're a girl listening to had a friend that's a guy, like,

it's really, it never ends up working out the way you thought it would. never, it's always like a new girl, and actually I don't watch a new girl. It's always kind of a difficult situation. So I think at the end of the day, if you really wanna go back to being friends and you're not just saying that because you want the relationship to be what it once was, like if you really think that this is a really important relationship in your life,

And like this means a lot to you to keep this. think like starting to text every once in a while or call every once in a while or catch up every once in a while. Like that's a good way to start the relationship again. But like I wouldn't rush back into trying to text every day or every week and making it what it once was. I would let it kind of gradually build over time to to get back there. But it's hard.

Like I'm just telling you the honest truth. I think it's really hard to go back to being friends after you hook up. You can if it really matters to you. And I think just like the gradual pace is the right way to do it. But it's really hard.

Josh Felgoise (14:42.782)

The next, and I hope, that's not really an answer to your question, and I'm sorry that I don't have a better, here's step one, two, and three to going back to being friends. I wish I had that for you, and I wish I had that for myself. I think everybody listening is like, yeah, that is kind of the unfortunate truth of the matter, is it's really hard to go back to being friends. And I wish I had a better answer for you, I do, but there just isn't really a better answer for it.

there really isn't an answer or like an antidote to becoming friends again after you hook up. Like I wish there was, there kinda isn't. And that's a hard pill to swallow and it's just something that like we all have to deal with because I feel like at one point in everyone's life like they're in that situation and yeah, like it sucks but like I also think that if you have feelings and she at one point had feelings like you could also explore that in the future. Like I don't think that

Like I guess I don't know but like like the reason I'm saying it's hard because if you're in the friend zone and you have feelings or if she's in the friend zone and she has feelings like it's just it's hard to build back from there but if this was a romantic relationship like that could also be a romantic relationship again like that's not to say it can't be either so I think there's a lot of things here that you have to assess I think it is really situational but going back to friends is hard okay the next question is

If she offers to split the bill on a date, can I accept? No, no, I don't think you should. I don't think you should. I think on the first date or the second date, I think you should pay. I'm pretty like staunch in that opinion of that. Like guys should pay on the first and second date. And I also think for that reason, like you shouldn't go or you don't need to go on like a dinner date or like splash out on a first date. I think drinks.

Or if you don't drink like coffee or a walk or like some sort of maybe not a walk, but like some something activity like coffee and coffee is great. I'm just going to use drinks and coffee. I'm going to stop trying to think of a third one. That's why I think those are really good first dates because they're not that expensive and they can be as expensive as you want them to be. Like drinks, dates aren't that expensive. Yes, drinks are expensive. It costs a lot to go out on a date, but like

Josh Felgoise (16:57.197)

It's way cheaper than doing a whole meal. Plus, like, it gives everybody kind of an out. Like, it's only like an hour ish if you want it to be. It can be even shorter. It can be much longer. You can get a second drink and you can really assess the vibe if it's drinks. And I think you should be paying on the first date. Like, I just think it's it's one of the stereotypical things that guys should do. Like, it's kind of a societal norm that guys pay. Yes, like she'll probably reach for her wallet and be like, I'm happy to split. And you'd be like, no, no, like.

Especially if you really like her, think you should because I think it's a good sign that like you're into her and you want to pay for her drinks like and like if she reaches for a while I don't think you should be like yeah, like that sounds good because then she'll be like oh like he didn't like me and for whatever reason there is like that is a thing that happens like if if you say yes to splitting the date I splitting the bill I think that she will not think you're into her

And you want her to think you're into her because you probably are if you're going on a date with her or a second date. I think on the third or fourth date, you can maybe start splitting or start kind of like you pay for one thing. She like you pay for the first round. She pays for the next. I think there's like a comfort, comfort ability that develops with dating like by the third and fourth date that like she's like, no, I'm to pay for the next one. And you're kind of like, OK, like that sounds nice. Like, thanks. But I think for the most part, like if she's

Offering to split the bill. That's just like a courteous thing that people do on dates They like pretend to reach for the wallet or like I can open my purse and like Here's my little poopy poo here you can have please accept my penance But it's like they're not really offering like they're just doing the gesture because they're supposed to do the gesture they Want you to pay for the first date for the most part? I think girls want the guy to pay for the first date and the second date like

It's the right thing to do, especially if you ask them out. Like if you ask somebody out on it, let's just go. Let's like get rid of all the other shit. Like if you ask them out, I think you should pay if you ask them out for the second one. You should pay if if you're maybe this is like a good rule of thumb that I just thought of in the moment. Like if you're getting to the point on dates where you're scheduling them together or she's offering a date or she's like, hey, let's do this thing. Maybe then then it's OK for her to pay her. It's OK to split for that date. But if you're offering or you're asking her on the date,

Josh Felgoise (19:15.932)

and you're proposing like, how's Thursday at eight for drinks and you're picking the place like you should pay. I think that's that's a pretty fair rule. Like if you're asking her on the date, if you're proposing the place to go, like that's because it's a place you wanted to go to, then you should pay. I actually like that rule. I think that should be like, I mean, that's a really good kind of guiding principle for dating. I wish I of this earlier, but I guess it's like better late than never, better now than ever.

If you're asking somebody on a date, you should pay. And if you're picking the place, you should pay. I think it's as simple as that. Like, I don't think you should over-complicate it much more than that. And if she's offering to pay or offering to split, I don't think you should accept on early on in dating. I think it's a good sign that to her that you're interested, that you wanna keep exploring dating with her and exploring dating with her, going on more dates with her. Like, I just think it's a sign that you're into her if you pay.

And I think girls like that. Okay. The next question is, it bad to date multiple girls at once? No, like I don't think so at all. Only in the beginning. Like specifically in the beginning you could date multiple girls. Like if you're in a full fledged relationship, do not date more than one girl. Like that's pretty obvious. Don't cheat, don't be a bad guy. But if you're early on in dating, I think it's pretty normal that people date multiple people.

And that's something I learned early on in dating, like, because I'm not good at seeing more than one girl at once. Like, I'm really actually terrible at it. That's not something I can do. Like, I just have never been able to. Like, the times that I did, I just got my wires crossed and I asked this one girl how this one thing was, and she's like, that's not me. And I was like, fuck.

I was like, maybe I thought you said that. Like, maybe you sure you didn't say that? And she's like, no. And I was like, okay, well, this one's not gonna go well. So I just, personally, I'm not good at it. I think there, I think most people do, honestly. Like, I think a lot of people take a lot of different dates early on to suss out the vibes, to assess the situation, to see if, like, who you vibe with. I also think it, like, unfortunately for some people, and fortunately for others, like, it's a good way to read how much you like somebody. Like,

Josh Felgoise (21:30.79)

If you've gone on a couple dates with one person and a couple dates with the other, like it's pretty obvious in your head who you like more and who you're more attracted to and who you vibe with more, whose energy you connect with more. Like I think unfortunately for the other person, like they're kind of not used as maybe a bad word, but like they're kind of helpful to assess how much you like somebody else. And I think this is a universal thing. Like I think people just date.

a lot of people in the beginning and when they're starting out. And I don't think that's a bad thing at all. Like I'm not saying that at all. I actually think it's probably a very good way to see who you like and who you want to keep going out with. Because a lot of the time when you see just one person at once, like you kind of put all your eggs in one basket, like it's applying. It's like applying only to one college. Like it's saying I'm just going to do this one thing and I hope this works out. And that's great for some. Like that's how I do it. That's how I've always done it.

But it's also kind of bad in other situations when it's like you fully invest all your feelings in this one person, when in reality that person could also be dating multiple people. And that sets you up for like rejection or all of that stuff that comes with the aftermath of it ending. And that's fine. Like it's something that we all have to deal with in early dating. It's something that everybody has to deal with at some point dating or another. But like truly it depends on

who you are and how much you can handle. Like if you can handle dating three girls at once or like, okay, okay, let me also say one more thing. I also think that if you're getting to date three or four with somebody, then you have to cut off the other ones or you should, I'm not gonna say have to, like this is just my rule for it. I think if you're getting to date three or four with somebody, that's pretty serious and...

You shouldn't be dating more people at that same time. Like if you're really developing feelings for somebody and you think they are too, then I think you have to cut off the rest of them. People say roster. I don't like that word. I think it's not a football team. Like this is dating. These are feelings like this is like real shit. And I think you should not be dating multiple people when it's getting more serious. And I'm considering more serious three or four dates. I think the first one or two is like, OK, like we're seeing how this is. We're getting each other's vibe. We're going on drinks dates like

Josh Felgoise (23:52.999)

It's not that serious. Maybe we've kissed, maybe we haven't. Like it's all good, it's all fun. When you're getting to three and four, it's like, huh, like I really like this person or they might really like me. And like, I could really see something here. Like I'm really liking this and I want this to go further. If you're there with somebody, then you should probably cut off the other ones because that is going to lead you to a messy situation. And I've had my fair share of messy situations in the beginning of early dating, like...

I think it's kind of a rite of passage to to do that and to try and talk to multiple people at once and fuck up and like it's just like a live and learn situation. think every guy has to deal with at one point or another or goes through one point or another. But like when you're getting to that three or four dates then get not get rid but cut off the rest of them and like say like hey I've had a really good time getting to know you. I just don't see this going any further. I don't feel a romantic connection like that. That's it. That's a good way to get to go to end any date or any.

kind of situationship dating situation. So no, to answer your question, I don't think it's bad to date multiple people at once or to date multiple girls at once. I just think you have to be considerate of everybody in the situation. Like make sure you're not only thinking about yourself because there are a lot of feelings in this web that you are kind of creating and like there are a lot of feelings in this web and a lot of that can get entangled and a lot of it can become a little messy pretty quickly.

so just be careful and be really considerate when dating multiple people and Make sure that like you can keep your head on straight that like your feelings Don't get mixed up between different people or you're making time for it. Just like make sure that you're prioritizing The people you're seeing and yourself. There's a lot to do There's a lot a lot going on when you're dating with dating multiple people

And then that's why you have to cut it off by like when you're seeing somebody at three because it gets real messy real quick. So, no, I don't think it's bad, but I think you just have to be really considerate and careful. and yeah, like make sure, make sure you're doing the right thing. Be a good guy. Just be a good guy at end of the day. Don't be a bad guy. That's like kind of the overarching thesis of this whole thing. the next question is what should I text when she cancels a date?

Josh Felgoise (26:12.574)

OK, a couple of things here. If she like outright canceled the date without rescheduling and said something along the lines of like, hey, like, I just don't really see this going anywhere. Like it was nice texting you or something. And the date really never made it out of the chat. Then I think it's a really good thing to just be like, I appreciate the honesty. And that's it. Like it's just it's kind of short and sweet. Like this isn't going anywhere further. If she canceled and like.

didn't reschedule and she's not interested in pursuing this and this any further. I don't think you owe her a long thing. I don't think you should get mad or angry. Like I think that's probably the last thing you should do in this situation. But I do think it's just a good thing to say. Like I really appreciate the honesty. Like thank you for handling this with a with maturity. Like thanks for being mature. Like that type of thing. Or you don't have to say that. Just I really appreciate the honesty. I think that goes a long way. Like. Then she'll be like, damn, like maybe I really missed out on this guy. Like maybe that was a

total botch on my part because that's a great response. Like she's probably expecting that you're just like, fuck you, I'm I'm a bitch, like. You're not going to do that. You're not going to do that because you're listening to this podcast. So you're not going to do that. And that's just not something anybody should do. Like if somebody cancels, they probably have their million different reasons. And it's not even for you to decipher the reasons because this person isn't going to be a big part of your life. And.

That's fine. Like one door closed another one opens like I always really do think that like rejection or something something ending is redirection and something new starting and if she canceled without rescheduling or just canceled then like okay like on to the next like peace like thanks for the ex thanks for a little bit of something I appreciate you not just ghosting me which is a kind of a big thing these days that people don't like send something saying like hey

I don't really see this going anywhere. Like, it was nice meeting you. Something like that. Like, not everybody does that. And that is something that we should appreciate because that is mature. It is big when people do that. Unfortunately, like, the bar is pretty much in hell. And I think that when people do give you some sort of acknowledgement of an ending or just like a little bit of closure or closing the book in a way, like, that's nice. And that is respectful. And I think it's a good

Josh Felgoise (28:30.816)

thing to do and I think if she canceled then like she did you a favor because now you're not left wondering well is she gonna respond is she into this is she not like that I do something wrong like no you don't have to think about any of that anymore like it's just kind of on to the next and that is a good way to end this here and like think about it as not the podcast just that thing and just be like okay like thanks for the honesty

But if you think she meant to reschedule and like the conversation is still going and she's just like, I actually can't do this day, but like in the response to an old text or whatever, like I think you can also then be like, is another day good for you or like, can you do this day? But it's pretty situational. I'm assuming in this situation that she did just cancel and didn't like give you a reschedule or said something like that. Then in that case, my first kind of answer works best here. Which is just like saying thanks, thanks for your honesty. Appreciate it.

and then moving on, closing out the number, maybe deleting our contact, like whatever, bye. The next question is, is it embarrassing to meet somebody on an app? No, no, not at all. I think in our day and age specifically, like, it's the way a lot of people meet now. Like, it's kind of this funny thing that like, people don't really meet in person anymore. I did an episode recently called, Why Am I So Nervous To Ask Someone Out In Person?

And I've discovered this statistic that like 49 to 50 percent, I think it's just I could say 50 at that point, 50 percent of guys have never asked somebody out in person aged 18 to 25. Like people aren't asking people out in person anymore. And that could be for a multitude of reasons, whether it's nervousness, anxiety, feeling.

doubt, not feeling confident, feeling like you're going to be rejected, afraid of rejection, all of these things. And I highly recommend listening to that episode. I think it was a really good one. And I dove into all of the reasons that guys don't ask people out in person and how to start if you're, if you want to. And, one of the things that it said at the end of that episode is that by asking somebody out,

Josh Felgoise (30:41.564)

you put yourself in that other 50 % by walking up to somebody and introducing yourself and giving them a compliment or saying like, I think you're really cute. Like I'd love to get a drink at the end of the conversation or just asking questions or putting yourself out there. You put yourself in the other 50 % of the guys at that bar right now. Like if you look around whenever you're out, chances are like half of the guys there have not asked somebody out in person. And that's crazy.

So by putting yourself out there, by asking somebody out, you immediately shift yourself into that other box and the other section. But I think because we're in this time that that statistic exists, that guys 18 to 25 just aren't asking people out in person as frequently because it's much easier to do it online. It's much easier to do it behind a screen. It's just easier to meet somebody when you can flip your finger and access like hundreds of different girls at your fingertips. It's way easier to do that than ask somebody out in person like

That's the truth. It's just easier and you don't have to deal with all of the anxiety and the doubt and fear of rejection that come with asking somebody out in person because you can just do it on your phone. And if they don't respond or they don't like you back, it's like, okay, well, here's the next one. Like, okay, swipe. Like, and if it doesn't end up being anything, like it was just on your phone. Like it kind of doesn't exist at the end of the day, which is really crazy. It's just like a crazy thing that's going on. But no, because of all of those things, like, and I'm not going to into all of the

that further, because I did it in that whole episode, but I really recommend going to listen back to that one. But to answer this question, is it embarrassing to meet somebody on an app? No, no, not at all. It's an easier way to meet people now. so many couples that I know that are successful couples, like really strong couples, have met on apps. It's a thing that works. And there are a lot of success stories from apps.

Don't be afraid to put yourself out there on an app. Like if you're not right now, there's no harm in building a profile and starting to swipe. Like, and if you're not somebody that's going out and introducing yourself or going out all the time to bars, like it's a great way to meet people and it's a really accessible way to meet people. So I think it's, it's great that it exists. It's a really easy way to meet a lot of different people and go on different dates or start dating or get yourself out there, kind of get your footing, start and put yourself in a position

Josh Felgoise (33:05.492)

where you can find a girlfriend or start a relationship or just start dating. So I think it's a good thing. Is it embarrassing? Not at all. I think that when you look around, when you are on the date or when you're in the world dating or looking at couples, I guarantee a lot of them met on apps and I guarantee a lot of the first dates you see started from an app. Most of them probably started from an app. I feel like it's just a very common thing now that people are on hinge.

I think that's the biggest one that all of my friends are on or the people that I know are on. Make a hinge profile, put yourself out there. I think it's a great way to put yourself out there. It's not embarrassing at all to want a relationship, to want to date. Like that's a great thing. It's not a bad thing at all. It's a very good thing. I think relationships make life so much better. think that like getting yourself out there, starting to date, there's no downside to it. So.

Yeah, like maybe I'll do a whole episode on making hinge profiles or like my recommendations for it. That'd a good episode. Maybe I'll do that at some point soon. Look out for that. Yeah, no, not embarrassing. Like definitely put yourself out there on the apps. It's a great way to meet people. And it's also like this thing that you can come to or come back to if you want. I think also one of the best ways to be on these apps is to be intentional about them like.

If you're just kind of passively swiping the way you do on social media, on TikTok, on Instagram, like then I don't think it's like amazing. I don't know. This is a whole referendum on dating apps, which I'll, that's a whole, maybe another episode with the hinge profile thing that I'm thinking of doing. Um, let me know if you want that. I'll do that. Okay. Um, and then the question that I will answer next episode is

When can I ask to sleep together? That's a good one. That's a great question. And it's a question that I think so many guys have probably literally every single day of life, every day ever. I'm sure that's a question that thousands, if not millions of guys have. So I will do the best, do my best to answer that next Dear GuySat session.

Josh Felgoise (35:18.778)

That is the episode. Thank you so much for listening to Guy's Set, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh, I'm 25 years old and I'm here every single week, every single Tuesday to talk about what should be talked about for guys. If you liked this episode, I really hope you did. Please like, subscribe to this podcast. Five stars movie, that's one, two, three, four, five stars, not four, not three, not two, not one, it's five stars. Thank you so much for doing that. I really, really appreciate that.

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So much for listening to guyset, a guys guide to what should be talked about and I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys.