Don’t Get Stuck on What Could’ve Been

Josh Felgoise (00:00.206)

Welcome to Guy's Set, the guy's guide to what you should be talking about. I'm Josh, I'm 23 years old, and I'm here to find all the tips, advice, and recommendations for guys in their 20s. Let's get into it.

Josh Felgoise (00:17.934)

Hi guys, welcome back to guys that the guys guide to what should be talked about this episode I meant to do last week So I'm doing it this week instead and it is the fives of April or April fives or my April recap working on it, whatever I'm still workshopping the title of the of this little Segment that I'm doing but it's five things from April and it is something I tried

something I'm working on, something I learned, something I watched and something I will do in the next month, which happens to be already, but it's it'll all be doing it this month. So I'm going to start with the something I tried and that is hit workouts, which is if you don't know what hit is, it's high intensity interval training. And I've now, I've now done it for like four weeks. I've tried it like once a week consistently. I missed one week. I was hung over.

So I missed one and I missed another one today because I slept through it. So my consistency I could work on, but I'm trying it. I tried and trying still. That's something I will do as well. So that's a spoiler alert for the last one, something I will continue to do. There's another one too, but that's a spoiler alert, whatever. So HIIT workouts are one thing that I tried in the past month that I have found to be really like great for me. I used to do them when I moved to New York in the first couple of months. And then I

fell out from them when I started just lifting and then forgetting about HIIT. But I think there's room for both things. I think a lot of different types of workouts and different types of training are really good and beneficial to have in your week and in your like workout slash fitness routine. So I'm mixing those back in, which I just forgot about and haven't done in a really long time. And they are so incredibly hard, like

When I tell you, the first one I did was probably the beginning of April. And when I tell you after that class, I felt like I was going to faint throw up and die. It's not an exaggeration though. All those things were true. And the rest of the day, I just like, didn't feel that good, but I decided to give it one more try and be like, all right, I know that with time, everything gets easier. So I gave it another shot. And the second one, I still felt like I was going to throw up and die and fall on the floor, but I felt

Josh Felgoise (02:36.696)

good about it. Like that one actually boosted my energy and I didn't feel like it was a energy drainer. It felt like it actually like made my day better. And I felt like I got something so good in the start of the day to like conquer the rest of the day. So I kept doing that for two more weeks. And I think this month I'm going to try and do hit workouts twice a week instead of just once a week and like ramp it up a little bit. But it

In the first couple, like it was so, so hard. And I say that about like everything. When you try something once or twice and you're like, that's, I think it's too soon to be like, that's not for me or that's not going to work for me. I I'm not good enough at it or I it's too soon to decide that. So I think giving something two or three times is the right amount.

and I just found it to be a really great energy boost and made me feel like I was on top of the world at end of the class. Like I don't really know how to explain it. Like it's a, it's a mix of both. You feel so like dead after the workout, but you also feel like you can conquer anything else in your day. And I look at it as if I can get through that. can get through literally anything else, that annoying work email, that annoying coworker, that annoying.

Slack message that annoying like something online or something somebody said or any of that stuff like I just did that this morning then I can deal with anything so that to me was super beneficial and has been and continues to be I did one this morning as well or Yesterday I slept in one as I said and it was great and I highly recommend trying that if you're wanting to mix up your workout routine or try something new or

If you've been doing the same thing again and again and you feel like you're not going to the next level or you feel like it's becoming stagnant and kind of like complacent in your journey with the gym or any of that stuff, I recommend trying that or trying something that you haven't tried yet and giving it like two or three times to decide if it's right for you or not. So that's something I tried. Something I am working on is

Josh Felgoise (04:41.89)

I realized in the past month that I get super overwhelmed with the idea of what could have been. And a lot of the time I'll have wanted to do something like last month and then I'll finally get around to it and be like, if I had done that last month, the progress I could have made and how far I could have come if I had done that till now is like it just, get so mad and annoyed at myself for that.

And it's really something I'm working on. So if you take investing, for example, like it's something I pushed off for the longest time. And when I finally did it, I was like, if I had done that a month ago or a year ago, the amount of progress I could have made or the like how much I could have learned in that time. And I just didn't do it. And that, and that like really bogs me down and I get really off about it. And I'm really working on not, I'm really working on like not getting in that bad head space where I'm like, well,

it would have been so good if I had just done that or if I had just taken the action a month ago, like how far I could have progressed if I had just did that. And that's something I'm working on because I'm still really bad about that. Another great one is going to the gym, what I was just talking about. It's like if I had just gone to the gym every day or at least once a week, the amount of progress I could have made or it's like you can easily bog yourself down with thinking of what could have been.

And I saw this quote I really liked recently. I put it on my Instagram story. The quote was, it sounds cheesy and corny, but I really do like it. There's a reason your windshield is bigger than your rear view mirror. Where you're headed is more important than what you left behind. I really do believe that. And the way I get out of that head space of like, oh, like, fuck, I really wish I did that. I should have done that. Why did I not do that? And I didn't do it is what action can I take today so that I won't feel that way tomorrow?

or I won't feel that way in a week, or I won't feel that way in a month. Like what action can I take right now so I don't feel like I never made the step from A to B next week? How can I do that right now this second today? And there are so many ways to do that and it's just taking the action and just making that step and doing it. The only way is really through and that's what I'm working on this month and last month.

Josh Felgoise (07:00.46)

The next one is, and there's like, there's no real good conclusion to that. It's just something I'm continuously working on and I'll keep you updated on that journey of, of that thing. Something I learned was that I easily let process get in the way of progress. What that means is I easily get overwhelmed with how many things I have to do in order to get something done.

and then I don't actually get the thing done. So this actually feeds back into that last thing. And I think it's one of the reasons that I end up in that head space of like, I guess I should have ordered that differently, but I didn't. It's the reason I get into that head space of like, damn, I wish I had done that a month ago, but I didn't because of all the things I thought I had to do to get there. I'm sure a lot of you can relate to this, but it's overwhelming when you want to try something or do something like.

And a really good example for this is applying for jobs. You don't take the action to apply for the job because you have to update your resume. You have to find the companies you want to apply for. If you're a cover letter, you have to write the cover letter. If you want to network, you have to reach out to people. Like there's a lot of steps that have to go into finding that next job. And then you have to, and then you think about, if I get that job, then I have to tell my boss I'm leaving and I have to figure out.

how to transition from this job to the next job. And if I want to do all that smoothly, how do I get it done? And it's like all that process and all the thoughts get in the way of actually making the progress. And then you never end up actually looking for the next job because you get bogged down by all of the things you have to do in order to get there. And that is, I think, a really good example of this specific thing. I know a lot of people who are I've talked about jobs a lot in the past couple of weeks, but like if somebody is thinking about getting a new job or looking for a new job, there's a lot that goes into

is just starting it and taking those next steps can take you a long time to get there. So my piece of advice is like, what can you do today in order to get from A to B right now, today, so you don't feel tomorrow or next week that you wish you did it and you should have and you're mad at yourself that you didn't. So I guess these two kind of go really well together. To combat this, I am going to actually do the things I'm saying and

Josh Felgoise (09:20.106)

really try and hold myself accountable for it. So I'm going to make specific days of the week, my like accountability days to get the things I wanted to get done. So if I say I want to do something every single day, I think that's so much harder than being like, all right, I'll get this done Monday, Wednesday and Friday. And those will be the three days that I will really try and hold myself accountable for the things I want to get done. Instead of being like, I'm going to spend an hour to two hours every single day getting this done, because that's not realistic. And that's not

really like feasible at the end of the day. Cause work comes up, you have friends, you have family, like stuff comes up throughout the day that takes you out of getting, like takes you out of the progress. So I'm making three days a week, my Monday, my Wednesday and my Friday, like my progress markers. And the thing I'm working on is most likely different than the thing you're working on. But I think that tip should be helpful for anything. And it can be whatever days you want it to be.

You can pick one day a week. You can pick two. You can pick three before like it I recommend not trying to hold yourself accountable to it every single day because then you'll get to that place where you're like fuck I wish I had done that I should have I didn't and then you get annoyed at yourself and you end up where I was with the getting overwhelmed with what could have been and letting the Process get in the way of the progress so Starting this week. This is like an announcement in tandem with this work like the thing I'm working on right now

is that I am going to post a blog post on guyset.com every single Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. that is the accountability I'm holding myself to. Will I get three posts every single week on those days? Probably not, but I'm going to try my best because it is something that I've wanted to do and have said I was going to do again.

since December and I realized the last blog post I posted was like December 3rd of which was December, January, February, March, April, like almost it's like five or six months ago. And I just haven't done it because I've allowed the process to in the way of the progress. And I haven't set those like benchmarks or those like accountability days in order to get it actually done. And what that'll look like, what those blog posts will look like is kind of the essence of what this whole thing was or what the mission was in the beginning.

Josh Felgoise (11:40.332)

was to provide like guys guides to what should be talked about. So it'll be like what to buy your mom for Mother's Day last minute. What to, where to work, what to wear going out. What are guys asking about on Reddit? Like what to do when you're sick from work at home. Those are like a couple things that I thought of in the past week or so that have come up for me. That I'm like I don't know where to find the answers to these things. So I wanna provide a place for those answers. And having the consistency with it will really help.

hold myself accountable because I've wanted to this for so long and I'm like, I just haven't done it. And now I looked back and I'm like, well, six months have gone by and I never did any of it. So what can I do today to get that done is write one blog post. And I don't know if anyone will read that. I don't know if that's the right way to do it, but I know that that's something I'm looking for. And I know that's something that a couple other people are looking for. And if I can make it and create it, why not put it out? So that's what I'm going to do.

but yeah, like back to where I started back to my roots of what this whole thing was. So if you want to read those blogs, they'll be on guyset.com three times a week starting today. That may be a crazy goal I set for myself and I may come back on next month and be like, it is now one a week, but I'm going to try it. I really am. And it's going to be something I want to stick to and hold myself accountable to. So that will be there for you to find every single week. The thing I watched is the roast of Tom Brady.

I watched it last night and it was fucking hysterical. My standout people were Tom Hinchcliffe, who I had never heard of before. If you're listening to this and you're a big fan of him, I'm so sorry. But I'd never heard of him before. And he took his four minutes and ran with it. I was so incredibly impressed with his pace, his timing, his like he's a absolute comedic genius. And I'm now a fan for life. Like I literally followed him right after that. And I was like, I need to

start listening to this guy's podcast. But I'm always so impressed when somebody has like a moment and they take full advantage of it and really do not leave anything off the table and leave no stone unturned. And it was really, really funny. If you haven't watched it, just Google Tom Hinchcliffe roast of Tom Brady. is absolutely hysterical. It's like the craziest comedy you've heard in a long time. He is ruthless and so funny. And my other standouts were Nikki Glaser, who was also

Josh Felgoise (14:03.278)

Absolutely hysterical, but she's been in the scene for a while and I've seen her in the roast before, but she also just like took her five minutes and sprinted with it. And I also love Andrew Schultz. I don't think it was his best set ever. I saw him at Comedy Cellar recently where he did like a drop in Comedy Cellar in New York City. He did like a drop in set and it was so funny. I thought he was even funnier than, than on a roast. Like I don't think his comedy is roasting people. Um, but those other two absolutely is or absolutely are.

So if you haven't watched that, you need to watch it. was incredibly funny. And I also love when people can cannot take themselves so seriously and laugh at themselves and really take the joke. Like a lot of the a lot of the shit that was said was so personal. Like during it, I was a little uncomfortable. Sometimes I was like, damn, like, I don't know how Tom Brady is sitting there taking half the shit. But you have to like you just have to laugh at it like life's too short to take everything so seriously. And I'm I was impressed by the amount of shit they all took. And

how funny it was. I feel like I haven't seen something that like ruthless and funny. I was cracking up laughing out loud. So if you haven't watched that, you should definitely watch that. The other thing I watched was baby reindeer on Netflix. If you haven't seen that, I highly recommend it, but fair warning, it is incredibly disturbing and like traumatic. It is the story of this

Guy Ronald Gladden, I think that's his real name in real life. I'm forgetting what his name is in the show. It's a true story. And he wrote it, created the show, and plays himself in the show. And reenacting that and having to do those takes over and over again and that be your real experience is unbelievable. And I really don't know how that man did it, but the show is so good. The acting is amazing. The story is really like, I can't believe that happened.

And I'm sure you've seen it's pretty viral on online, but if you haven't watched it like I highly recommend But just fair warning it is incredibly disturbing and like maybe don't watch tonight, but the story like really stuck with me Especially when I learned that it was his story and he's the actual guy that it's based on just absolutely wild so those two things are what I watched and what I will do is

Josh Felgoise (16:21.602)

Kind of what I've talked about the whole time is some more hit classes, because I really like those. I really want to keep consistent with that and really work on holding myself accountable to the consistency of blog posts and making content that I really want to see. The reason I started this in the first place was because I couldn't find stuff like this for guys in their 20s. And there's a lot of, there's a lot more like resource guides and guides I just want to put out and create.

So that's what I'll be doing. And I'm just going to make that consistency and like hold myself to it. So those are my April fives, my April realizations, the things I learned in April, wow, whatever you want to call it. Um, and I highly recommend doing it at the end of the month. think it's a really nice like reflection for the month and brings out a lot of realizations and like stuff I want to work on. And it's just like, uh, it's a nice exercise. So I highly recommend doing it.

Okay, that is the episode. Next week is the 50th episode of Guy Set, which is so wild to say. I have been doing this now for 50 weeks, which is so crazy and exhilarating and I can't believe I... I can because I really wanted to do it, but I I... I'm proud of myself for sticking with this for so many weeks. There was a lot of times...

I'll go into this more in the 50th episode, but I'm just really happy that I stuck with this and am continuing to do it, and I really do believe in it. And if you're still listening right now, and if you've been here since the beginning or you found this on the way, I'm so happy you're here, and I can't wait to make so many more episodes and provide so much more value. And I hope this episode was valuable for you.

If you like this episode, really hope you did. Please like, subscribe, leave a review, give this episode five stars, send this to a friend you think it would be helpful for, send this to your brother, your sister, your mom, your dad, your coworker, whoever you want to send it to. If you have anything you want me to talk about, anything that should be talked about, send it to my email, josh at guyset.com, j-o-s-h at guyset.com. Go to guyset.com where there will be three articles every single day and leave your email.

Josh Felgoise (18:41.056)

on website as well because I'm creating a newsletter, spoiler alert, coming up. I said that I was gonna do that like four months ago again, but I also didn't do it. But leave your email and there will be a newsletter coming soon. Thank you so much for listening and I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys.