Rejection, Feeling Boring, and Smelling Bad: Dear Guyset

Josh Felgoise (00:00.206)

Welcome to Guy's Set, the guy's guide to what you should be talking about. I'm Josh, I'm 23 years old, and I'm here to find all the tips, advice, and recommendations for guys in their 20s. Let's get into it.

Josh Felgoise (00:18.03)

Hi guys, welcome back to Guy's Guide to what should be talked about. Today is another episode of Advice Guy where I answer the questions that you guys write in to my DMs, to my email, to my website, to the questions I have found on the internet that I've scoured Reddit for and just like other places I've found good questions that I think should be answered but may not be.

full episode topics probably could be at some point, but I can also answer in short form on here, like short form, meaning in like one or two minutes. Um, and, my God, I don't have a fast question. I always do a fast question section. I don't think I have one today. Maybe I'll think of one on the spot. Um, but there's some good ones today. I first want to start off by saying, if you haven't listened to last week's episode, I think it was called your money questions answered with this guy, Brian Matthews, who's a certified financial planner. And he gives

some phenomenal advice about every like money question that I've ever had as a guy in my 20s. And it was some of the best feedback I think I've ever gotten on an episode up to date. Like I think it was episode 44, but it was like I got texts and I've got DMs people saying like this is actually exactly what I was looking for and what I needed. I'm going to read you one of the texts because it was like a really great review. And I was so happy that this was the reception to the episode.

I felt that way listening. I never know when I put out an episode if it's going to have really amazing reception or really shitty reception. Once in a while, both will happen. But last week I got a really good reception, which was really exciting. But I want to read you one of the reviews or something that someone sent in to me about last week's episode. Hold on here, let me find it.

He said, yo, I love the finance episode doing a lot of things Brian said already, but his breakdown of why Roth might be better than traditional in 10 seconds was better than my days of research because none of what I read was tailored to guys in their twenties. And that is exactly what I'm going for with this podcast, trying to find people who can bring really great advice and ideas to you guys in your twenties and me in my twenties. And in that episode, when I was listening to him, I was like, this is exactly what I wanted for all the questions I had about money.

Josh Felgoise (02:32.178)

specifically, like a couple of things I really wanted to know was like, how much should be sitting in my in my bank account? How should I handle a Roth IRA versus my 401k? How do I invest? Where should I even turn to invest? What are the different things I should be investing in? And just like all these questions that I hadn't found somebody to answer yet. And he was perfect. So I really recommend going back and listening to that. It was like 45 minutes, I think, of just really strong advice on what to do with your money and saving and budgeting and dating and

All things I talk about all the time, but from somebody with a lot more wisdom than me in that topic and probably in general. Okay, so let's get into this week's episode, which is Advice Guy. I don't know which number it is, but I am answering some questions. So let's start with the first one. I hope you all had a really great solar eclipse yesterday as well. I thought that was great. The next, the first one is, how do I stop being boring? I think the best way to feel like you're not boring is to have something that you're

excited about or passionate about and that can come in so many forms of whatever like it doesn't have to be starting a podcast like it could be about your job. It's probably not about your job, but it could be it could be about something in your field of work or a new hobby you've picked up. don't know. It could be like any hobby that you find. It could be starting to try and cook or pick up a new skill.

or a TV show you watch or a new artist you're listening to or a new podcast you like, maybe it's this, or like just some new thing you try and pick up. And I think once in a while when you find stuff like that, keeps life really exciting. keeps like the day to day that can get mundane and boring. keeps that exciting and fresh and new. A new TV show, a new movie you watched, a new activity, a new something you tried.

Yeah, I think it can come in so many different forms, but finding something that you're excited about and passionate about maybe even if it's just like quick lasting, it doesn't have to be like something you do all the time forever, but just something you try and can now talk about and reference and bring up and yeah. Okay. So I think the way to get around being bored or feeling like you're boring is to find something that you like, whether it's quickly or for a long time. Okay. The next, you know, when you have like a

Josh Felgoise (04:53.282)

frog in your throwing this was happening right now. So if I sound like weird, that's what's happening. Okay, the next question is how did you deal with the first time you got rejected? I have no idea what the first time I got rejected was. And I'm going to take rejection. I'm assuming this person's asking about dating, but I think they're like, I don't know. Yeah, actually I can't assume that because you know what they say about assuming. So I'm not going to assume that rejection comes in so many different forms. I think two of the biggest forms are one with girls and dating or whoever you're dating and two

is with jobs and internships and all that stuff. I don't even remember the first time I got rejected in... Yes I do, that's not true. The first time I got rejected...

Josh Felgoise (05:37.414)

my God, I feel like every time I come on this podcast, I share way too much. guess that's what a podcast is. So here we go. First time I got rejected was at a, I'm Jewish and it was at a Christian dance. I like a Christian dance was like at a Catholic school. I can't believe I'm saying this. I actually met somebody this past weekend. I'll go back to what I was saying before, because like I can't just like lead you on like that and not tell you rest of the story. But I met somebody this weekend at a.

like a business conference. I don't go to those often. That was it was like a one time thing. I'm not I'm not like a conference guy. It's like really once a year thing. But I met somebody who told me he listens to this podcast and he told me the reason he likes it so much is because I'm so vulnerable on it and like I share a lot of shit and he was like envious that you can do that but like also not at the same time. But also that's why he listens because I he knows that I'm going to be super honest and

share the shit that people are thinking but not saying and I was like, yeah, that is exactly what I'm doing and sometimes I forget that I'm doing that and that I say this all the time but that anybody can listen to this. But here we go again. Here we go again, another week, another embarrassing story. So it was at a Catholic church, maybe like seventh or eighth grade. No, there was definitely a time before this. This is the one that resonates with me most.

And it was like a slow dance song, probably like an Ed Sheeran song. And I leaned in to kiss this girl.

Josh Felgoise (07:10.924)

and she was taller than me. So I was like tippy-toes, dreeched up, and she was like, what, what are you doing? And I was like, I don't know.

Josh Felgoise (07:23.694)

And I just like darted, I just like darted the opposite direction. And then I ran to the bathroom and think I got my friend and left. Mom, can you pick me up? Like literally. So that was the first time I rejected. Thank you for asking so much. I'm so happy I told that. Maybe I'll edit that out. But on rejection.

I've got rejected so many times, whether it's with internships, jobs, girls, whatever it is, that I think you get not hardened to it, but you get, I don't know, it's not the right word. Every rejection stings in some sort of form, but I really do believe, I live by and believe the statement, if you don't try, you'll never know. If you don't give it, if you don't go for it, you're not gonna know what the outcome could potentially be.

Sometimes it's going to be the exact opposite of what you want it to be. And sometimes it will be what you want it to be. And if you didn't go for it, those two options are not even on the table and you're just where you were in. And you're just in the original spot that you were in. So I will always go for things and I will always try and shoot my shot and end up rejected sometimes and feeling terrible about it. And I think people really like grieve rejection in many different ways. If it's a job you really wanted like

or if it's a girl you went for that you really wanted and you've put you in rejection so tough because you put yourself out there and you like give your all and you're like you you you give into it and you're like all right I'm gonna give into the chance that I am going to feel like an absolute loser big fat loser like I'm giving into the idea that there is a potential I will end up feeling like a big fat loser and go home tonight feeling like a big fat loser and sometimes you will feel like a big fat loser and that's okay because the sometimes the opposite will be true and yeah

you if you don't try it you won't So anyway thank you for getting that one out of me. The next one is what's top of mind for you. So there's two things that I'm thinking about right now that are like weighing me down and I'm using top of mind as things that are like weighing down on me. One is how messy my room is right now. I was just on a trip and I got back and like had plans this weekend and just didn't unpack my bag and left my room an absolute earthquake. I miss the earthquake by the way speaking of earthquakes.

Josh Felgoise (09:47.31)

In New York, Philly, like this area, there was an earthquake last week and I missed it. I was on a flight and I've, you know when people say they feel FOMO for like hanging out? I feel FOMO for having missed the earthquake because everybody's trauma bonding over this like joke of an earthquake. Well, no, I hope nobody was actually affected. But from what I saw of like the memes of it, it was like kind of a joke. I think for the most part it was. I think I'm safe from cancellation on this one.

But I was so jealous that I missed it because everybody seemed to be having this like big meme fest over it. And that is my dream. Like, you know that I love that shit. If you listen to this or you've seen my like TikToks of shit like that, I made TikToks, I made videos about me missing it and that. So I made it about me in one way or another. But anyway, back to the story was, back to what I was saying. Cleaning my room, that weighs down on me. When I don't, I work better when I, like I,

function better and I work better and I'm more productive when I'm in a clean environment. And when my room is an absolute disaster, it takes my brain off of what I should be prioritizing and focusing on and makes me feel like I need to go do that and clean that. But then I push it off and procrastinate it. And now I probably won't do it until tomorrow anyway, because I'm going to edit this podcast tonight and still find ways to procrastinate, my room and just end up with a pile of shit clothes and whatever else is in my room on the floor and stepping over it.

to get to work tomorrow and yeah, and then I'm gonna go out and do something again and just forget about it and push it off again and again. So when I can find time to clean my room is weighing down on me. And then the other thing is my job right now, but I will give an update on that in the next question. think it's one of the, I'll just make it the next question, but it's somebody asked like how my new job was going. Cause I did a couple episodes about one on leaving my first job and then one starting a new job. And somebody asked for an update, which is thank you for asking about that. So I will give an update on it.

Maybe I'll go to that right now. Okay. The next question is how is your job going? And thank you for asking. That's really nice. It's good. It's a lot more work than my last job. I don't know if it's actually a lot more work, but it's a lot. Yeah, no, it is. It's also like a lot more responsibility than my last job. My first job was an entry level role as everybody's job is after college. And this one is a step up or two steps up as you would expect or hope.

Josh Felgoise (12:08.974)

for like a trajectory of a job or a career. So it's been going well. I found that like the hours I work are like, it's not like a typical nine to five, whereas my last job was a nine to five. And the team that I was on worked from 9am to 5pm. And it was kind of like you log on around then you get all your shit done and then you log off, you hop off and like that's your day and then you go about your life. And like if you get a Slack or an email, whatever like.

You can respond, sure, but it's not expected of you to respond late night or during life hours. And the work-life balance was really, really nice. Whereas at the new job, I work at a startup and it's less like that. You're kind of expected to, this is kind of like the one thing I would have liked to know, slash I did know, that I would like to share with anybody that's gonna work at a startup or thinking about working at a startup.

There's not really set like nine to five hours. Like, yes, you're working nine to five like everybody else is. But then again, like if there's something at five 30 or six or like you're you get a email or a slack or something from your boss or somebody on the team that you're kind of expected to respond to that, especially working with a lot of people who are like throughout the world. The hours are told totally different.

So I'd say like that's the biggest difference, whereas like a response is more so expected than like you can just kind of wait till the next day. That's not saying that there's sometimes where I'll wait to respond till later because I have something going on. Like I'm not fully like I have to drop everything I'm doing right now to respond, but like there are times that I will do that as well. And I would say I learned that from like, I learned that the past year that most of my friends don't have like a nine to five, like some of them work like nine to like seven or like nine to six 30 or.

also be expected to respond the same way that I'm expected to respond and also be working Saturdays and Sundays and like work hours into the night and like it really, really depends on your field and your job of when you work. I've heard of investment banking people or banking or all those other jobs that finance world jobs that work till like 11 p.m. or like 1 a.m. or like these crazy, crazy hours. Also some companies like give you

Josh Felgoise (14:24.398)

dinner, give you a dinner stipend if you stay past like seven or eight or they'll give you an Uber credit to get home because it's late at night like eight or nine or whatever it is. So it truly depends on where you work of like the hours you work. But I think that's the biggest difference is that there isn't like a nine to five for this job. It's really like getting done everything I can get done and responding and just being on and being ready to I don't know. Does that make sense? I hope that makes sense.

I think the biggest thing that I was looking for in my last job into this job was that I talked I like that full episode I was like if you're letting me I'm growing you need to leave your job like I do agree I do fully stale still stand by that and the episode where I had the CEO of Barstool on Erica Ayers Badon she had that same similar I think it was these actually the exact same advice where she was like if you're not learning and growing at your position you need to look for something else and I felt that way my last job and I don't feel that way here at all like I feel like I'm

consistently and constantly learning and growing and changing what I'm doing and trying something new here and learning on the fly and then trying here and like throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks and then fully faking it till I make it in some places and it's a lot of learning and that's so annoying to say but I feel like I'm consistently changing.

The day to day is really not monotonous and it's a lot of new things all the time and a lot of different things that come my way and I get to try a lot of new things and learn a lot of new things and be a part of a lot of really cool calls and meet a lot of cool people and gain a lot of new and fresh experiences and it's been really great so far. So I hope I can continue working there and don't get fired.

The next question is... No, am moving on to the next question, but I really do. I am happy in the role and that is all that to say, by the way, like there are days where I'm like, I feel like I'm drowning in the work and I made a whole episode, I talked about it a little bit ago, but like, what if I'm not good enough at the job I'm trying to do? And sometimes I feel like that and there's days where I feel like I'm absolutely failing and there's days where I'm not.

Josh Felgoise (16:47.84)

meeting the standards that I'm supposed to be meeting. So there's days where I feel shitty and there's days where I feel great. And I would say overall, I just feel like it's a really, really, really amazing learning experience and like feel like I'm growing in my career and we'll have a lot more opportunities and a lot more growth because of where I'm at. And until I don't feel that way, I will stay where I what I'm doing and try and get promoted and try and keep.

working really hard and pushing myself to like figure out new ways to do things better and all that blah blah blah. And yeah, so I like I want to stay here for a good amount of time. Like I feel like it's a good spot for me right now. And I hope you feel that same way in your job. And if you don't, I urge you to go back and listen to that episode with the CEO of Barstool much more than I mean, you can listen to my two episodes as well. I gave an episode on why I left my first job. Let me find the title and the episode number.

Uh, hold on. Hold on. It is searching my and finding my own show in the podcast app is always really funny. The first one is episode 28 called I quit my job. What a banger of a title. Uh, and I talk about why I left my first job and yeah, I think it's a good episode. And then the next one starting my new job was episode 31 called starting a new job.

So I gave you my kind of full journey there, which I was really cool that I was able to do on this show. feel like it was a cool, experience to share with all of you guys or whoever is listening, whoever wants to listen to at some point and kind of just like have that in this, like Rolodex of things you can listen to. So if you're ever in that position, go back and listen to those, but also more importantly, think, listen to episode 35, which was with the CEO of Barstool Sports.

Erica Ayers-Badan and she gives, seriously, I've said this a couple times, but she gives seriously some of the best career advice I think I've ever heard. I've actually gone back and listened to it before. Well, I edited it so I had to listen back to it. But I went back and listened to it and I also time stamped it, which go me for that, that takes so long. But she talks about her career and why she's leaving as CEO and her experience leaving a job, as well as her advice for you in your 20s. She also has a book coming out in June.

Josh Felgoise (19:13.358)

which I'll probably make the monthly, I'll probably make that the book club episode for the month. Also, by the way, the book club is still going on, so if you wanna read, wow, what a fucking tangent. But if you wanna read the book club for the month, it's The Psychology of Money, I'll be doing a recap of it either later this week or early next week. I'm still not done, it was March's book, but I have not done that book yet. And I'll announce the next book.

Maybe in this, no, in that episode where I recap that book, I'll announce the next monthly, I'll announce April's book as well. But her book about your career comes out in June, which we talked about. So that'll be June's, a full spoiler, that'll be June's book. But yeah, go listen to that episode. But I hope you feel that way in your job right now. And if you don't, I have three really amazing resources for you. And yeah, okay.

The next question is, when did you stop growing? Sooner than I wanted to. Thank you for asking. I'm my hit my favorite hinge prompt. Oh wait, I have to do an episode on hinge. keep forgetting to do that. My hinge prompt is I am like my height says 5'10 and then it says what if I actually told you I'm 5'9 and three quarters? I don't know. Quicker than I wanted to. I wish I was like six feet. That'd be cool. The next question is

Okay, this one's funny, this one's really funny and super awkward and I'm sorry if you're listening to this and you're in this situation, I am so sorry. How do I tell somebody that they smell bad? Eek, okay. You have to tell them, like it's for their own good. It's gonna be super awkward for you to have to tell them that, but they'll owe you a lifetime of everything if you tell them.

It's like when someone tells you like you got something in your teeth, like you want to know that you don't want to be left with spinach in your teeth all day or like a black fucking poppy seed in your tooth from the bagel you had two days ago like you know, no, no, but from the morning like you don't want you don't want that. And that person who tells you becomes your hero for the day. So be somebody's hero and tell them if they smell bad. And the way I would tell them they smell bad is be like, here's what I would do. I'd be like, what is that mean? Like I'd be like,

Josh Felgoise (21:36.206)

And I like, smell my armpit, be is that me? no, like, what is that? Like, I think I actually put deodorant on, like, what is that? And then I'd be like, I'd be like, oh my God, did you forget to put deodorant on? Or like, something like that, just be like, oh my God, is that you? And they'd be like, no, it's not me. And you'd be like, oh, well, it's not me. Like, it's definitely something. And then they'll smell themselves, be like, just maybe like, you know, like, just like, is that you? And then they'll be like, oh my God, it's me. If they're a sane human being, they'll be like, oh my God, that's me. Like, I need to fucking put deodorant on.

I'm assuming that you're asking this because the person like continuously doesn't smell great and I'm sure it's not like a one time thing. So I would do it that way and just like be like, me? And it's obviously not you because you're a clean human being. Not that this person is not a clean human being, but like maybe they need like a shower or like a new, maybe they're trying a fucking what's it called deodorant, like a friendly earth tone deodorant that isn't working for them. And maybe they need to go back to the,

climate protested deodorant that we all use. Like maybe that's not working. Maybe the fresh earth like shit isn't doing it for them and they need to be told. So be that person's hero and tell them that they smell bad because you will make their day and you'll help them in life. That helps somebody in life. Nobody wants to be the person that smells bad. Like that's not a good reputation to have. If you're the person that smells bad, then people are going to avoid you and not want to hang out with you. So let them know and be a hero.

And the last question is the fast question section. Welcome to the fast question section where I answer questions quickly and I explain because I don't know what I'm talking about but I just answer from the heart and from the mind. Whatever comes to mind right now I'll answer it. Okay, this question section is what drink do you order when? So the three options, or the three questions are what drink do you order on a date? What drinks do order at a happy hour? And what drink do you order out at a bar? So the drinks I order on a date

really vary based on where I'm going. Most likely I'll be ordering like wine if I'm at a wine bar or if I'm at a cocktail bar I'll get like maybe like an old, I'm kind of, I'm recently into old fashions like that or like a Negroni or like something with vodka or gin or

Josh Felgoise (23:58.188)

whiskey or I'm just naming all the alcohols now. So I'll order something that I can find on the menu and like not make it too expensive or weird or crazy. At a happy hour, I will drink, I haven't had a happy hour in a long time. My new company doesn't really have happy hours anymore. It's like a very small startup. At the last happy hour, I would get like a...

If it depends where it is. This is a bad question, but it depends where it is. No, it's not a bad question. If you asked this, thank you so much for asking, and I hope you continue to ask questions. Like a cocktail, if it's at a cocktail bar, like a gin and tonic, if it's like a vodka, soda. Probably same without at a bar, or just like beer, or whatever. And if you don't like drinking, you should not drink. I'm actually doing an episode on drinking really soon, so.

because I think that's another topic that needs to be talked about for guys in their 20s. So if you have questions, that's actually a really great segue. If you have questions about drinking or drinking habits or dates and drinking and like all the drinking stuff in your 20s, and a lot of social life is centered around drinking. Like if you're with friends, like, let's grab drinks tonight. Or if you're going on a date, you're like, hey, where do you want to grab drinks? Or if you're at a happy hour with work people, you're grabbing a drink. And it's like all of your 20s or early 20s is around grabbing drinks.

So I'm going to talk about drinking and drinking culture and drinking habits really soon because it's a topic I wanted to hit on for a long time, but I want different perspectives on it, not just mine. So finding the best way to do that, but that will be really soon. So write in to either advice at guyset.com or to my DMs or on the website. There's an anonymous way to ask questions. mean, the email is also anonymous because you don't have to put, no, on the website, it's all anonymous on guyset.com.

you can ask anything there. but yeah, ask any questions you have about drinking, drinking habits, drinking culture to all those things. And I will include them in the episode. I, most of the questions I asked on the last episode I just did with Brian Matthews on the, like your money questions answers were literally questions that you guys wrote in on Instagram. asked an Instagram poll like a day before I did the episode and it was probably one of my

Josh Felgoise (26:15.426)

biggest like most flooded Instagram questions. A lot of people wrote in and a lot of people had questions. It was obviously a topic that a of people wanted to hear about and I'm happy I got to do that. But drinking is another one that I'm looking forward to doing and hitting well. And I'll probably continuously make episodes about that because it's like a topic that we need to talk about and should be talked about for guys in their 20s. So that'll be coming soon. ask me questions about that and like look forward to that coming soon.

if you want to join the book club, it's not too late because like it's March his book club. It's not too late because I still haven't finished the book and I've, I'm trying to, but I just haven't made enough time to read. and then I'll bring up April's book club soon. okay. That's the episode. If you liked this episode, really hope you did please like subscribe, leave a review, give this episode five stars, give the podcast, starves, give the podcast five stars on Spotify, Apple podcasts, wherever you're listening to this episode. really appreciate it.

Ask any questions, you me to talk about, that should be talked about for guys in their 20s to my email, advice at guyset.com or to my DMs at the guyset, T-H-E-G-U-I-S-E-T on Instagram or TikTok or on the website guyset.com. no, wait, no, I changed it. You can also put, not that I changed it, but there's a third way. Down below in the episode notes, in the show notes, you can anonymously submit a question. It's a Google form. It's super easy to do.

easier than having to go to my, I can't believe I forgot about that. It's easier than going to the email or to all this other shit. It's completely anonymous. It's through Google Forms and just write in a question and submit it and I will include it in the episode or any future episodes or an episode like this. Okay, thank you so much for listening and I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys.