Movin' Out (Josh's Song)

So I'm moving. This is the last week that I'm gonna be living in this apartment. This is the last time that I am recording this podcast here, which feels really crazy to say. And I'm feeling really nostalgic about it.

I before I sat down to do this, I like started to feel nervous, which is so silly. But and I never feel nervous before I start to record these except for like the first bunch I did and just sitting down like with this brick wall behind me, which is where I started at all. And it's just become such an iconic staple to the podcast to at least one or two people, including myself. So at least iconic to one person.

But this is where I started it all. Like this is the place I've experienced so many firsts. I feel like I've grown up so much in these past three years in this apartment. This is the only place I've ever lived in New York so far. And I've been talking about this move a little bit here and there in the past couple of weeks, in the past couple of episodes. But I wanted to sit down and really talk about the move and my feelings around it and my thoughts around it because I feel like

A lot of the time when you move, you just kind of like uproot your life one day and like one day you're living in one place and the next you're not. And we don't really sit down and like think about it or talk through how we're feeling about all of that, especially after a long time. And I, I feel really attached to this place for so many reasons. One of I probably the biggest, aside from my roommates and like getting to live with them. like, I'm so, I love them. I'm so happy. But starting this podcast, like

This is where I came up with the idea for this. This is the place I sat down and like stopped fearing all of the shit that I was fearing about starting this and decided to give myself a chance and go for it. And now a hundred and twelve episodes later. Let me get that number right because that'd really awkward. How do I not know the number of what podcast this is? Do do do do do do do my god. Yeah. one thirteen. OK. I was wrong.

Josh Felgoise (02:36.896)

Now 113 episodes later, like that's this is it for this place, please not for the podcast, but just for this place. And it's probably like the first of many moves in my life. mean, hopefully it's the first many movies in my life. But it's like the first adult move that I've done that's not to college or back home or out of college. And I'm feeling like a little nostalgic about all of it. If I'm being honest, like really nostalgic about all of it.

And I'm really gonna miss it. Like I'm really feeling it and it's just now starting to really hit me. But we're not gonna start there. We're not gonna start there. We're not gonna get into that. I'm not gonna get all mushy and kill the vibe. Although I could. Just know that I could. Okay? And I'm choosing not to right now. So thank me for that and I hope you can appreciate that. I'm not gonna start there. I might end there but I'm not gonna start there. I am feeling really weird about all this. I'm not gonna do it.

I'm feeling really weird about this whole move. I'm not gonna do that yet, but at some point I will. I'm gonna start with my first move to New York City, which was three years ago, as I said, and it was the first time that I felt like I was doing something adult for the first time. I wanted to be in charge of it all, I wanted to do it all on my own, and I was determined to make it all work.

And I wanted to find the cheapest, cost effective movers I could when I moved out of home after college and into New York. So I went online and I started like comparing these companies and I found this one company. was called, I'm not going to say that. I don't even know the name, honestly. Some like cross country, like I found this. was like, great. Like I'm going to move from Philly to...

New York, like I can't wait, I set the date, paid the deposit, like I did it all. I felt so good about all of it. So I drive down here with one of my roommates and both of our moms wanted to come with, which was really nice. And we get here and the move was scheduled. They told us that they would be here from like 12 to five, which is probably like a pretty normal window to move.

Josh Felgoise (05:00.078)

and in the morning i called them and i was as a day we're here we're at the apartment at the keys like they're not all out like hoping to hear back from you soon and they didn't answer so i was like okay that's kind of a red flag okay and then at about one p.m. i called back and i heard back for somebody they said we should be getting to you by five sounds like okay should should that's like a little you what do you mean like you should be here like already so

Three o'clock rolled around like we got food. We were still really excited like New York like so fucking excited. And I called them again and I'm like, hey, like are you gonna be here in the next two hours? And they're like, ooh, it's like, it's not looking great. Like maybe we'll be there by eight. And I was like, oh, like something's off. Like this doesn't seem right. And then when the six o'clock rolled around, I was like, okay, this is off. Like something's not right here.

And I felt I was responsible, like not felt responsible. I was fully responsible for this. I was the only person in charge of this move. My roommate gave me complete control over it. I was like, great, I got this. Don't worry. I'll handle it all. We both move our stuff into the truck in the morning at my house and the truck takes off. So I call back at six and I'm like, hey, are you going to be here or not? And they don't answer. And I was like, oh, OK, that's not good.

Is my shit gone forever? Like, did I just give my stuff to people and they just like stole it all? That would be really crazy. And I call back at 6.30 and at 6.40 and it's at 7. And I'm really starting to panic and everyone's like, we're all sitting on like the floor here because there was nothing, there's no furniture in this place. And everyone's like, uh, this isn't good. This is really bad. So around 7, they call me back and they're like, yes, we're not gonna be able to get to you tonight.

will maybe get to you in the next couple days. I was like, days? What are you talking about? At this time, at this point, like I'm freaking out because this is Saturday. I start my job on Monday. So I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do. So I'm like, days? What do you fucking mean days? Like I don't have days. Where's my stuff? I have the clothes I'm wearing currently. I have nothing else. Like I have my backpack with.

Josh Felgoise (07:21.174)

like probably like tic tacs in it. Like I just have like nothing with me because I thought everything was going to be there. So I'm like, days we talking about and he's like, yeah, so like you signed up for like this cross country situation. So it says that like it will be there within one to two weeks.

I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Weeks? I've been talking to you all day and you said it should be there by five, six, and now you're saying it's gonna be there in a couple days or weeks? Like, what do you mean? What am I supposed to do? Like, I don't have anything. And the guy was like, sorry man, like, that's, good luck. Like, hangs up. And I'm like, fuck, like, I'm freaking out. Everyone's like, all right, stay calm, like, we're gonna figure this out. Like, it's not gonna be a deal. Stay calm, like, it's coming in weeks. Like, what do you mean? I have nothing to wear.

to work I have no stuff we have no bed we have no place to stay like there's there's nothing like where we sleep on the wood floor here like what are we supposed to do so we called another mover to go get the stuff that was in storage and was going to be in storage for like another two weeks to come get the stuff from the mover to bring it to us and they could be here by Tuesday so that night

my roommate Reid and I who you've heard he's been on the podcast twice now stayed we got a hotel room we stayed in a hotel that night and I think yeah we stayed there for one night and then he went back home I think for a day but because he wasn't starting work for the next week or so and then I stayed at my sister's boyfriend's apartment because he was out of town but then I had to go buy work clothes because I was starting work the next day

So I had to go shopping and it was just like, maybe it was Sunday. I don't, forget, I forget like exactly, but it was this whole situation and it can't really get much worse than that. Like it just can't get worse than that. That is probably the worst moving experience that anybody could have unless you like die. Like that is probably the worst experience that anybody could, no, maybe there's, there's probably a lot of other worst ones, but that's a pretty bad moving experience. So with this one coming up,

Josh Felgoise (09:35.802)

I know that nothing can be worse than that. Again, like, of course there's a couple scenarios, but I know that nothing really can be much worse than that situation. And, I have learned a couple lessons from that one that I want to share with you before we get into the new move. One, read the fine print. Like that is something that I don't do. I didn't do. I feel like most of us don't cause we're just like, okay. Like accept terms and conditions like blah done, like sign, pay you whatever it costs.

And I didn't read the fine print. with this move coming up, I read all of the fine print. I'm like very litigious now about that. Like, no, that's I hope that's the right word. Yeah. And I picked a company that's like pretty popular in New York. I called like two of them. called this is not sponsored. You know that piece of cake moving. And then I called roadway to compare those the most the two most popular in New York. And I just compared the prices and piece of cake was so much cheaper. And

So yeah, so I picked that one. read the fine print, like they're gonna be here in two days from nine to 11. And then, yeah, so that's the first lesson. The second lesson is to make sure that they can do the whole move on that same day and that you didn't pick something that's cross country storage and moving and that you have the designated time. So like I currently have nine to 11 and then there's another, I think it's like,

Well, I'll tell you this, there's a whole nother scenario in a second because I'm not, I'm not moving on the same day now because the, place I'm moving has a co-op board or a board that has to approve me. And the board is really slow, which it makes no sense. I don't understand that whole process, but they can't approve me in time. So now the stuff is going to storage for the day for a couple of days, and then I'm going to move again on like Monday. So it's still a really shitty and annoying process.

But in my head I'm like, okay, nothing is worse than that first move. And I've also been super lucky that I haven't moved in three years and I've had a lot of friends that have moved either every year or twice by now. So I've been really fortunate that like my rent didn't go up much while in this apartment, like at all, which was so, so, so nice. And we all wanted to stay here for the three years and it just worked out really well. Because doing this every year would be so, so ass.

Josh Felgoise (11:58.082)

And I just feel like every move is kind of ass anyway. Like it's just a lot of stress for one or two days right before it. And then the couple after, and this one is like a prolonged one because it's going to storage, which I've heard is now a pretty common thing because it's really hard to find the dates and times that overlap and like no move is really ever perfect that like the day you move out is the day you can move in.

That's what this situation but the second learning I would say is make sure you have like those designated times that they're coming because when they told me like they should be here by I was like what it should like you should pretty much definitively know that they're gonna be here from a time window and Call a couple days before to confirm and then call the day before to confirm and you can also call in the morning Like there's a lot of things you can do to be proactive about all this that I didn't for my first move that I've learned and I'm now being super super proactive with this one like

I talked to the moving company already two times today about it just to like confirm. So I'm probably being overly confirmative now, but I just don't think you can be overly like I think with this type of thing, it's stressful. And if you're somebody that's not like born to be organized like me or like, yeah, me that this is a good thing to just be on top of and be really responsible with.

And I would recommend movers. Like, I can't do this all on my own. Like, I'm not gonna ask my parents to come up and do it. I'm sure you can find cheaper alternatives like asking friends or paying friends. I think that's always a good thing to do too. Offering them, like offering to buy them dinner to help you out or whatever and you can rent a U-Haul. I have some friends doing that. But for me personally, like this just works out a lot better. So if you are using movers, just like make sure that they can come on the same day. And...

That's those are the biggest my biggest learnings from that one I just should have been so much more proactive about it like I was just not Smart and I was trying to find the cheapest solution and what I've learned is that the cheapest solution for these types of things is Probably not always best And can make your life a lot harder. So yeah, talk about a stressful first day of work, huh? Three years ago. Like that was really crazy. It was just a whirlwind of emotion

Josh Felgoise (14:15.044)

and not going where is the go that night i stated my sister's boyfriend department again that night and then i could move out it was it was just an absolute mess so i don't think anything compares to that and i this one absolutely is much less stressful but i think every move comes with its stress and i don't think you can ever really avoid that and i also think it comes with its like nostalgia and leaving somewhere and and the feeling and like the weird emotions around moving with this one currently i'm

I was really getting sad about it like a couple weeks ago, the fact that I'm not gonna be doing the same thing every day. Like have a really nice routine. Like I like the gym I go to, I like the grocery stores I go to, I like my walk to work, like everything, I've just figured it all out. I like the bodega I go to, I like the restaurants I've frequented and become a regular at. Like I feel like when you move in, you kind of make that place your home.

At least I did and I love doing that wherever I am. I just think it makes everything easier and life better to have your places you like going and the things that you like for special occasions and the places you can recommend and the local place you go buy Diet Coke or whatever it is. With this apartment specifically, like it does feel like it's starting to fall apart after three years. Like the fridge, you've probably heard it in a couple episodes. It's like

It's starting to like actually fall off the wall not really but It sounds like it's about to and then we had a cockroach in the shower I wasn't showering but I was putting my contacts in a couple mornings ago by the way like it's not because we're gross like we're not like disgusting human beings that just happens in New York I don't even know where they come from but that's just a commonality in big cities So anyway, I was putting my contacts in and I saw this thing moving in room. I was like fuck ah

so i screamed other eight runs in and week trapped it in the shower we yeah we trapped in the shower and it's like the biggest bug you've ever seen that it looks like a drastic park-sized bug just like it goes so fast it's like scaling the walls it's like a super villain and our third made it came but came as a what the fuck's going on we're like there's a fucking cockroach he got a napkin and literally just like squashed it in

Josh Felgoise (16:36.792)

three seconds we're both like you are a fucking hero we were both so scared of it but yeah so it just feels like the apartments telling us that it's time to go and like it's just it's feeling more like I'm ready with time especially with that cockroach and on top of the move your job doesn't stop so like even if you're moving on a Wednesday like you still have work to do and you

I mean, you can take the whole day off. I'm taking a half day off to do the first part of the move and then probably another half day that on whenever I do it next, but work doesn't stop. So that's just like another added level of stress. And like in college, when you were moving, you had no other responsibility beside moving and then like going to go drink with your friends and like trying to get everything done as fast as you can. So you can go drink this one. It's like, you know, you still have like so many other responsibilities outside of the move to

And that's really just like an added level of stress that I never considered before or never really thought about before. And it's just felt like there's constantly more to do and shit just like keeps appearing right now. Like all around me is boxes and like my other roommate shit and he's moving out tonight and it's just like shit everywhere. Like shit, shit, like piles of shit, like brooms and mops and all this stuff. And it feels really overwhelming, like sitting in it.

So it is feeling like it's time to go with all of that too. I'm like literally sitting amongst boxes. Do you hear that? My stomach rumbling, whatever. It feels like I'm sitting like amongst like boxes in like chaos. So it's starting to feel really real. Like especially yesterday and today we took out like all the kitchen stuff. We did all of that and took tons of trash bags down. Like we're donating this couch and this rug and the table and the chairs and a bunch of stuff like to Habitat for Humanity. So they're coming to pick that up.

in that's a really good tip too I think that that's I want to say that I my roommate I'm crediting read with this found that you can pay Habitat for Humanity like it's not a lot of money to come pick up all of the stuff you don't want and it goes to family's homes instead of throwing it away or leave it on the street you pay like the couch is like 20 bucks for them to come pick it up and donate it so that's like a really really nice thing to do with all the unused furniture I'm really happy that he found that and that we're doing that so they're coming after

Josh Felgoise (18:59.47)

I move out which is which is great, but I'm like sitting amongst all of this stuff and it now feels really real and I'm definitely feeling a lot of mixed emotions about all of this now that it's really sinking in that in two days I'm no longer gonna be here and I'm no longer gonna walk back to the place that I've called home for three years, which sounds dramatic I'm sorry if this sounds dramatic, but I'm feeling this way about it. So

Stick with me for a little bit. like, when I come back from home on Sunday night and I am coming back, I'm not gonna be coming back here and I'm not gonna be walking back to this place or walking through the door or coming to the bedroom and, that room has just become, like, home for the past three years and next time I record this podcast, it's not gonna be on this couch in front of this wall and, like, it's...

become a really comforting thing for me here. And I've discovered so much about myself here. I've learned so much. I've been through so many ups and downs. I've been through two jobs. not through the second one. I'm in the second one right now. I hope that stays for a while. I've like just been through so many transitional periods in this time in my life. And I think I've talked about this so many times, but the early, your early twenties,

are the time where you learn so much about yourself and you go through so much shit and you so many highs and so many lows and that so far has been here and it's gonna be really weird not coming back here and it's gonna be weird that it's gonna be someone else's place too like I'm gonna walk past this apartment and go to the bar that's under here and there's gonna be new people that are living here

And I think that's one of the amazing things about renting. It's just like, really like renting so far. I like the fact that I get to go move and experience something new and try a new location in New York and find my new spots and the new places that I'll call home or that I'll call like my local haunts. I don't know. I'm really excited about that. So it's definitely like really bittersweet and

Josh Felgoise (21:19.456)

It's just weird, like that's kind of the... my best way to describe it, like... It's weird that I only have two more nights here and then I'll no longer be here. It's... I've spent so many days here celebrating so many things or having friends over and playing games and having game nights and cooking dinner and just like sitting here with my roommates doing nothing, scrolling our phones, watching TV, watching Love Island, like just hanging out, doing nothing.

Also doing so much and I think like it's it's just weird to to move out. I that's kind of the best way I can describe it, which is a really bad way to describe it, especially when you have a podcast and your whole episode is talking about moving. So just saying it's weird a couple of times like isn't isn't great. But that's that is really how I'm feeling about it. And I think there's something really special also about living with roommates after college or at some point in your life. And I would really recommend it to anybody that

is considering it or is weighing the options of living with people or not. And I'm just gonna be gonna really miss coming back and just like coming back from work. I'm moving on my own by the way. I don't know if I've said that or not, but I'm really excited about that by the way. Like this isn't to say that I'm not looking forward to that or I feel like I'm gonna be lonely and all. Like I really am excited for that. I've always wanted to live on my own at some point in life. But I am gonna miss coming back from work and having somebody just to be like, hey, how are you? Like, how's it going? How was your day? And just like.

shoot the shit, even if it's for two to five minutes, even if we're both exhausted and don't, or all of us are exhausted and don't really wanna talk, just having somebody else like walking around and being there is really nice. And I think especially if you're considering moving on your own versus with roommates after college, I highly recommend doing that transitional period with somebody else or with two people. I really loved living with two people. I think that it's been an amazing dynamic and...

There's just always somebody around which is really nice. So I would really recommend that. I've loved it so much. But I now feel like it's also time for something new and it's time for that change. And I've had that experience and it's time to have a new experience. And I think it's really important to embrace the change and get yourself excited about the newness and the new. But it's also good to stop for a second and reflect on

Josh Felgoise (23:44.706)

how good you have had it, assuming you have had it good. Reflect on how good it has been and how much fun you've had and how exciting and how many emotions you've experienced during this time. just sit with that for a second. And I think that's really good to do with anything in life because if you don't, life can kind of quickly turn into a series of nexts and just a series of events and moving from one thing to another to another.

and taking a second or taking 30 minutes to sit down and be like, you know, I've loved these past three years and like, I'm really sad that I'm not gonna be here anymore. Honestly, like I am really sad about that. That doesn't mean that I'm not excited or looking forward to the next thing. And you're allowed to feel both ways. It's like two things can be true at once and you can be sad and

kind of nostalgic about what was or what is about to be was, wait, what is about to have been, and also be excited about the future and what's going to be and what will be. And I wanted to kind of acknowledge that, that I feel like it's really normal to be upset about, not upset, I don't know the right word, but it's normal to be feeling sad and also excited and just be in the middle of that.

Like I am right now. I'm not like leaning either way more or less. Right now probably leaning more toward the sad one. Like if I had to put it on a pendulum I'm more in like the awe. Like I'm really gonna miss this shit. Like I loved this. I really loved this place. I loved living with these guys. And in a month that pendulum could be tilted the complete opposite way. Like I absolutely love this. And I also like think it's important to acknowledge that there might be a

period or like a couple week, month, maybe a couple months period where I'm kind of like, shit, like I am feeling a little lonely or I really do miss living with those people and getting to come back and talk to people and I miss living with roommates. And I think that's really normal too. And that's been what a lot of my friends have said about moving from roommates to solo is that there really is an adjustment period. And I'm starting to kind of prep myself for that and

Josh Felgoise (26:13.256)

know that that's coming, which I think is good to not be like, all right, if I feel that like starting to think about like, okay, if I feel that way, like that's normal. And that's a very normal thing. It's another transition period. It's another period of change that a lot of people have gone through that I'm joining now. And it's not a bad thing to feel that way. It's normal to feel that way. And it would probably be weird if I didn't feel that way for at least a little bit. But at some point that feeling will reside and I will

really like living on my own and I'm like excited about that too. I'm really excited about that change. And I'm excited to live on my own for the first time and see what that's like and I'm excited for the new chapter and to be able to share it with you and talk about it and bring you guys alongside me because I think it's important to talk about every new change that is

the whole point of what this podcast is and what it was in the beginning and to have all of these kind of like chapters or moments in my life that I can look back on or somebody else can find to know that it's not bad and it's normal to feel this similar way about this period of change or this transitional time and know that like you're not alone in feeling sad about

moving away from something and also in the middle of the feelings of sad and excited like it's a really weird feeling I'm anxious as well about all of it like I'm especially with the fact that I'm doing two moves like I think that anxiety is also really real and I think it's really cool to be able to have all of these moments in my life that I can look back on and be like I was feeling that way at that time and

I think and I hope that will resonate with somebody else because I know somebody else is going to go through this same thing at some point or they're going through it right now if it's you listening right now. It could be that you're going through this exact same thing right now and you're also about to move and or you did just move and you're in that weird kind of middle period or you're considering moving or living on your own.

Josh Felgoise (28:37.288)

And I'm happy that I feel comfortable enough to share this with you guys. And I hope it all makes sense the way I'm feeling right now, because it's the way I'm feeling. And I don't think I've described my emotion to the best of my ability, but like, it's this really kind of weird, I'm anxious about what's about to be. I'm a little nervous about what...

living on my own is gonna be like, I've never done it before, it's the first time for that, I think that's a very normal way to feel about it, but I'm also really fucking excited about it, and I think that it's okay to feel both ways, and you don't have to just put on a face and be like, I'm really excited about that, that's gonna be so awesome, you can also be like, you know, that's weird, living on my own is gonna, it's gonna be a change, it's gonna be a transition.

and I'm gonna miss what I've built at this place, but I'm also looking forward to what I'm going to build at my next place. And I'm excited for the new, and I think that you can have both things at once. And this feeling could change in a month, and I could get on here and be like, I fucking love living on my own, which I've heard so many of my friends that live on their own explain it that way. They're just like, I love it.

literally could not imagine it any other way. And I am excited to tell you how I feel when I do feel that way. And when I come back on and talk about this again, because you bet your ass that I will, because that's the whole point of this. And I want to take you through all of these different times and these changes so that either when you experience it, you can kind of be with me in that and be like, OK, I'm not alone in that. There's somebody else experiencing that, too. And hopefully you know me by now and you're like,

That's my buddy Josh and he's experiencing that same thing too. And I'm excited, I really am. It's gonna hit me tomorrow night when it's my last sleep here that it's the last time I'm gonna be here and it's the last time. I'm a nostalgic person, I've always been. In those last couple days, kinda feels like when I left camp, I was always really sad in the last couple days of camp. I was also always sad leaving home before the last couple days of camp.

Josh Felgoise (30:57.834)

I'm not really amazing with change. Once it happens, I really do embrace it and I'm really excited about it. like those couple like flux days before and after always feel weird to me. And that's how I'm feeling right now. And I'm coming on here to tell you that if you're feeling that way too, so am I. But I am really excited for this next chapter. And, and I just hope the rest of this move goes well in that.

the moving situation is actually as good as I hope it is and I don't come on here next week and be like, so the same thing happened again. And my stuff is in storage for a month and I have nowhere to be and I'm homeless. No, that's not gonna be the case and I'm thinking good thoughts. So I'm excited for the new. I'm excited to see what is going to be. That is the episode. Thank you so much for listening to Guy's Set, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I think this was really like one of the ones that should be talked about.

I'm Josh, I'm 25 years old and I'm here every single week, every single Tuesday to talk about what should be talked about for guys in their twenties. If you liked this episode, I really hope you did. Please like subscribe with this podcast. Five stars movie. That's one, two, three, four, five stars, not four, not three, two, one, it's five stars. Thank you so much. And I really, really, really appreciate that. If you have anything you to talk about that should be talked about for guys in their twenties, send it to my DMs at the guys at thgguiset on Instagram or to my email, josh at guyset.com, josh at guiset.com.

or head over to website guyset.com which I'm revamping. It's gonna be done really soon in the next couple weeks hopefully. Just guyset.com, G-U-Y-S-E-T.com and you can leave a submission right there. There's a submission box on the homepage and that goes right to my email as well. Anonymous of course, everything's always anonymous and I will be sure to talk about it. Thank you so much for listening to guyset, a guys guide to what should be talked about and I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys.