Why Does Everyone Else Seem to Have Their Career Figured Out?

Why comparison lies to you and clarity usually comes later than you think

By
Josh Felgoise

Jan 29, 2026

The Social Network

The short answer is this: everyone else does not actually have their career figured out. It just looks that way from the outside.

“It looks to me like they know what they’re doing. It looks to me like they know what they want to be doing and they’ve figured out their purpose or their thing.”

That belief sneaks in quietly.

You scroll LinkedIn. You see a promotion post. You click into someone’s profile and notice they’ve been at the same company for four or five years. It looks stable. It looks intentional. It looks like a plan.

And then you look at your own situation and feel behind.

What you’re reacting to isn’t their certainty.
It’s the absence of their doubt.

I’ve written about this same moment in How Do I Choose a Career Path When I Have No Idea What I Want, because comparison usually shows up right when you’re already questioning yourself.

The Version of the Story You Never See

Most people only share their career once it makes sense.

They post when they get the job, not when they apply.
They share the promotion, not the years of uncertainty before it.
They talk about leaving, not the nights they spent wondering if they should.

“What you don’t see on LinkedIn is when people experience these moments. The mornings and nights spent searching job boards and reaching out to people to ask for connections or leads.”

You don’t see the anxiety.
You don’t see the private conversations.
You don’t see the version of them that felt stuck, burnt out, or unsure.

“Nobody likes to share those moments when they’re unsure, when they’re unhappy, when they feel like they don’t have a path.”

Research from Harvard Business Review shows that nonlinear career paths are now the norm, even among people who appear “settled” from the outside. The confusion just doesn’t make it into the post.

So it starts to feel like you’re the only one struggling with questions everyone else already answered.

You’re not.

The Illusion Gets Stronger When You’re Already Unsure

Comparison hits hardest when you’re already questioning your direction.

You’re not scrolling casually. You’re searching for reassurance without realizing it. And instead, you find evidence that everyone else is ahead.

“I think when you do, those voices in your head become louder and louder.”

Every update feels like confirmation that you missed something. That there was a moment you were supposed to know what you wanted. That other people saw it clearly and you didn’t.

But clarity is rarely as clean as it looks in hindsight.

That’s why this feeling shows up alongside stagnation. I explored that connection more deeply in What To Do When You Feel Stuck, because doubt usually arrives after growth slows, not before it starts.

What Honest Conversations Reveal

The illusion usually breaks the moment you actually talk to people honestly.

“I had a conversation with one coworker from one of my previous jobs that really made me realize this, that nobody is certain in what they’re doing.”

This was someone who looked established. Someone with a family, a house, a mortgage, a career that made sense on paper.

“And for all intents and purposes, they have a pretty established career at this point.”

But by the end of the conversation, it was obvious they were still figuring it out too.

“That conversation made me realize that this person was also kind of flying by the seat of their pants.”

That realization wasn’t discouraging. It was grounding.

According to Pew Research Center, most professionals expect to change roles or career directions multiple times, even if their resumes look clean and linear. Certainty is rarely permanent. It’s usually just temporary confidence.

Certainty Is Not a Requirement for Success

One of the biggest myths about careers is that certainty comes first.

That you decide what you want, follow the plan, and then feel confident once it works.

But most people build their career while questioning it.

“I think almost everybody feels this way too.”

They move forward while unsure.
They make decisions without guarantees.
They adjust as they go.

“Everybody is just kind of acting like they do and faking it until they make it.”

That doesn’t mean people are dishonest. It means they’re human.

What looks like certainty is often just momentum.

This is something I came to terms with in Growing Up, Getting Confident, and Living for Yourself: Dear Guyset, because the awareness usually comes before the move, not after it.

You Might Be Comparing Your Inside to Someone Else’s Outside

When you compare yourself to others, you’re comparing your private thoughts to their public version.

You’re aware of your doubts, your hesitation, your lack of clarity. You’re not aware of theirs.

“That doesn’t necessarily mean that they aren’t content or happy or successful. It just means that they’re also unsure.”

Two things can be true at the same time.

Someone can look confident and still feel uncertain.
Someone can be successful and still question their path.
And you can be unsure without being behind.

“Maybe you’re actually ahead if this is a conversation you’re having or thinking about or listening to.”

The Quiet Truth

If everyone else seems like they have their career figured out, it’s probably because you’re only seeing the part they feel comfortable showing.

Certainty makes a good post. Doubt doesn’t.

But doubt is where most real decisions actually start.

You’re not failing because you feel unsure.
You’re not late because you’re questioning things.
You’re not broken because your path doesn’t feel obvious yet.

“You might actually be doing a lot more okay than you think you are.”

Most people are figuring it out as they go.

They just do it quietly.

And that might be the most honest version of a career there is.

FAQ: Comparing Your Career to Others

Why does everyone else seem more confident about their career?
“It looks to me like they know what they’re doing.”

Are people hiding their uncertainty?
Yes. “Nobody likes to share those moments when they’re unsure.”

Does that mean I’m behind?
No. “Maybe you’re actually ahead if this is a conversation you’re having.”

Do successful people still feel uncertain?
Yes. “That person was also kind of flying by the seat of their pants.”

How do I stop comparing myself to others?
Start with honesty. “Knowing that somebody else feels that way too just makes you feel more seen.”