There is a specific kind of panic that shows up in your 20s. You look around at your friends who seem to be chasing dream jobs or building five year plans and you think, why do I feel like I am still guessing. The truth is that most guys are. They just do not say it out loud.

Not knowing what you want is not a sign that you are behind. It is the starting point almost everyone begins from. And no one embodies that more clearly than restaurateur and author Michael Cecchi Azzolina, who joined me on the Guyset Podcast to talk about how he built a meaningful life without ever having a plan. His story is proof that you do not need certainty to move forward. You just need motion.

Start with the opportunity in front of you

A lot of guys wait for clarity. They wait for passion, direction, purpose, or some big realization that makes every decision obvious. But life rarely works like that. Life rewards movement, not overthinking.

Michael is a perfect example of this. He started by taking the opportunities available to him, even if they were not glamorous or ideal. He entered adulthood the same way most guys do, with nothing more than necessity guiding his choices. “I had no idea what I wanted to do,” he once admitted.

That honesty is what makes his story useful. You find your path by walking, not by waiting.

If taking first steps feels intimidating, read How to Introduce Yourself Without Feeling Awkward.

Follow the small sparks instead of chasing one big passion

People talk about passion like it arrives fully formed. In reality, it shows up quietly. Passion begins as curiosity. A small nudge. A moment where something feels different.

Acting was that for Michael. It didn’t start as a lifelong dream. It started as something interesting. Something fun. Something that opened him up in a way nothing else had. He followed that spark without demanding that it be the rest of his life.

Most guys never give themselves permission to do this. They worry something is not practical or perfect, so they ignore it. But curiosity is one of the clearest signals you will ever get about who you are becoming. Follow the small sparks. They are leading somewhere.

Your first job is a starting point, not a definition

You are not supposed to “figure out your career” by 22. You are supposed to learn, build skills, get humbled, grow, pivot, and experience enough of the world to understand what actually fits you.

Michael went from acting to restaurants because life demanded it. He needed stability. He needed a paycheck. He needed something that made sense in the moment. That choice eventually shaped the next chapter of his life, but it did not begin with clarity. It began with survival.

Your first job is not supposed to be the dream.
It is supposed to give you tools for the dream.

If your early career feels shaky, confusing, or emotionally heavy, read Why Do I Get Jealous of My Friends?

Get really good at whatever is in front of you right now

When you have no idea what your long term path is, the smartest move is to take pride in the work you are doing today. Competence builds confidence. Confidence builds direction.

Michael started at the bottom of the restaurant world, but he didn’t treat it like a temporary inconvenience. He treated it like it mattered. He developed discipline, awareness, empathy, and the ability to handle high stress moments. Those skills transferred everywhere.

Being great at the job you have creates momentum for the job you want.
People notice. Opportunities find you. Your identity grows.

Take your current role seriously, even if it is not forever.

Pay attention to what your stress is trying to tell you

In your 20s, it is easy to take on too much. To numb out. To cope in ways that pull you further from yourself. Michael lived that too. He hit moments of burnout and destructive habits that forced him to slow down and reassess. “It was destroying me,” he admitted during our conversation.

Sometimes feeling lost is not about a lack of direction. It is about emotional exhaustion. When your foundation is shaky, no career path will feel right.

When things feel heavy, get honest with yourself. Are you lost, or are you depleted. Those are two very different problems.

If you feel stuck in that cycle, read How to Build Confidence When You Feel Behind in Life.

Clarity comes from movement, not pressure

Michael never had a perfect plan. He built his life by trying things, following instincts, learning through experience, and allowing his path to evolve as he evolved.

That is how most people actually find direction. They stop demanding that everything makes sense and start doing the next right thing. They trust that clarity follows action.

If you have no idea what you want to do with your life, that does not mean you are lost.
It means you are at the beginning.

And beginnings are full of possibility.

FAQ: What Guys Ask When They Feel Lost

What if I choose the wrong path?
You can pivot. Your 20s are designed for trial and error.

What if nothing excites me right now?
Start with curiosity, not passion. Small sparks become direction.

How do I stop comparing myself to people who seem more ahead?
You are seeing their highlight reel, not their uncertainty.

How do I find motivation when I feel stuck?
Do the next small thing. Movement builds clarity.

How long does it take to figure out what I want?
There is no timeline. Some people know early. Most people don’t.