Reframing the Unknown: Why Feeling Lost Might Be the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You

The Moment You Realize You’re Not Growing

There’s this quiet moment when you realize the job you worked so hard to get doesn’t excite you anymore. You’re good at it. You show up. You get things done. But you don’t feel challenged. You’re not learning.

That realization doesn’t come with a big announcement. It’s a slow build. The same meetings, the same Slack messages, the same conversations about “growth opportunities” that never lead anywhere.

“Maybe you start to think, huh, I’m kind of stagnant here and I’m no longer really growing. There’s nobody here that I can learn from and I don’t really see a position that I can grow into.”

That’s the moment you start questioning what’s next. And it’s terrifying.

If that feeling resonates, you might like Getting Ghosted Hurts, But It Might Be the Best Thing That Happened to You, which explores the same idea of turning rejection into redirection.

The Myth of the Two-Year Rule

I was told the same thing most of us were: never leave a job before two years. That’s the rule. Stay the course, build your résumé, climb the ladder.

But what if that ladder’s leaning against the wrong wall?

“This two-year mark that you’re supposed to hit, that you’re supposed to wait out because someone before us decided it’s the mark of success.”

That rule was built for a world that doesn’t exist anymore. Loyalty doesn’t guarantee security. Longevity doesn’t always equal growth. What matters more is whether you’re still learning, still challenged, and still proud of the person you’re becoming.

If you’ve already stopped growing, why wait another year just to make someone else comfortable with your decision?

If that line hit, check out High Expectations, Loosely Held, a Guyset piece about loosening control and trusting timing.

The Fear That Keeps You Stuck

We tell ourselves we’re staying because it’s practical. Because timing’s off. Because we don’t have the energy to start over. But underneath that logic is fear.

Fear of disappointing people. Fear of losing the identity we’ve built. Fear of the unknown.

“It is so much easier to stay where you are because of all of the things that I have just said that you have to do to find another job.”

Staying feels safe. Leaving feels like chaos. But what if that chaos is the only way to grow?

If you relate to that fear, read How To Handle First Dates Without Getting Ahead of Yourself It’s not about jobs, but the same lesson applies: overthinking kills momentum.

Finding What’s in Your Pocket

One of my favorite metaphors from this episode came when I compared leaving your job to finding something in your pocket you forgot about.

You know that feeling when you pull on old jeans and find a $20 bill? For a second, you light up. You remember what it felt like to have a little possibility.

“You find it in your pocket again. The next time you put those pants back on, you’re like, what is this in my pocket? There’s that thought I had about leaving my job and taking a chance on myself.”

That forgotten thought, that spark of curiosity, is your reminder that there’s more waiting for you. The question is whether you’ll put it back in your pocket or finally use it.

What Happens When You Go Off Path

Leaving the conventional path feels like failure at first. Everyone else’s life looks neat and organized. You start comparing your progress to people who seem to have it all figured out.

“Why does it feel like they’ve had a promotion and a raise and climbed the ladder to success while I completely don’t?”

But comparison is a trap. You’re not behind. You’re just off script.

And being off script is where everything new begins.

For more on that mindset, check out The Rule of Thirds for Emotional Balance, which breaks down how to stay grounded when your path looks different from everyone else’s.

Welcome to the Unconventional Part

That’s what I call it: the unconventional part. It’s the place between jobs, between versions of yourself, between who you thought you’d be and who you’re becoming.

It’s messy and uncomfortable, but it’s also where all the best stories start.

“You are at what I am calling the unconventional part. The part where you don’t know what you’re supposed to do or what you want to do or what’s out there for you.”

Once you realize everyone around you is just figuring it out too, the pressure fades. You stop trying to “catch up” and start focusing on what actually feels right for you.

Reframing Uncertainty

At the end of the episode, I shared a quote that completely shifted how I see the unknown. It’s from Night at the Museum:

“I have no idea what I’m going to do tomorrow,” Ben Stiller says.

“How exciting,” Robin Williams replies.

Those two words changed everything for me. How exciting.

“It completely changed my mindset around the unknown and the unconventional part. How exciting.”

Uncertainty isn’t a void. It’s a blank canvas.

If you liked this section, read How to Overcome Gym Anxiety for another take on reframing fear as freedom.

Why This Episode Matters

What listeners will learn:

• How to identify when it’s time to move on from a job

• Why comparison is keeping you stuck

• How to reframe fear as opportunity

• The mindset that turns “I don’t know” into “I can’t wait to find out”

Why it’s different:
Because I’m not giving advice from the top of the mountain. I’m right there with you, figuring it out, making mistakes, and trying to see the unknown as a beginning, not an ending.

Final Thought

You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to keep moving forward.

“Forward is a pace. Forward is emotion.”

Want to hear the full story? Listen to The Unconventional Part: Figuring Out Your Career When You Feel Lost on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.