Getting Ghosted Hurts, But It Might Be the Best Thing That Happened to You

When I first launched Guyset, I promised myself that if I was going to do this, it had to be honest. The whole point of this podcast is to talk about the stuff most guys never do. The awkward, embarrassing, or emotional moments that actually shape us.

“My overall goal here is to just normalize some of this shit that we’re all going through and create a platform where this stuff is gonna be talked about.”

So, let’s talk about ghosting.

This one hit close to home. Because not long ago, it happened to me.

The Connection That Felt Different

I had gone on two great dates with this girl. The first one was easy and natural. The kind of night where conversation flows, jokes land, and the vibe just feels right.

“It was just like instant chemistry, back and forth conversation. Neither of us felt uncomfortable if there was a break in conversation, but there just wasn’t because we just had so much to talk about.”

The second date was even better. I remembered she said she liked tacos, so I made a plan that showed I listened.

“For the second date, she said she likes tacos and I listened. So we got tacos and margaritas at this place by my apartment.”

We laughed, we talked, it felt good. Like something that could actually go somewhere.

Then a few days later, she stopped responding.

The Silence That Messes With Your Head

You know that moment when you send a text and start overthinking every bubble that doesn’t appear? That’s where I was.

At first, I made excuses for her. She was busy. She was traveling. Then reality set in.

“So I just kind of put the ball in her court and said, let me know when you’re available. And then she never responded.”

I waited a day. Then another. Then another. And with each one, my brain started to spiral.

“I was overthinking every little thing I had said and done, the ways I could have done something different or said something different. Maybe I should have texted back faster. Maybe I should have texted her less.”

Ghosting doesn’t just sting because someone disappeared. It stings because it forces you to question yourself. You replay every moment, trying to find the mistake that made them stop caring.

That spiral is what I later talked about in Stop Sounding Like a Robot in Job Interviews. It’s that same overthinking loop. We think confidence means being perfect when it really means staying human.

Ghosting Isn’t About You

Here’s the truth: when someone ghosts you, it’s not about you being too much, too little, or not enough. It’s about their inability to handle confrontation.

“The person doing the ghosting didn’t value you or your time enough to give you a reason as to why they stopped responding.”

That line changed the way I thought about rejection. Because once you accept that ghosting is a reflection of them, not you, you take back your power.

If someone can’t send a basic text, that’s not chemistry gone wrong. That’s communication gone missing. And honestly, you don’t want to build something with someone who avoids discomfort by disappearing.

If you’re working on your mindset, there’s a related post worth reading: How to Overcome Gym Anxiety. It’s different, but the principle is the same. Confidence isn’t about control. It’s about comfort in uncertainty.

A Sign of Maturity

I’m not here pretending I’ve never ghosted anyone. I have. Most of us have. It feels easier in the moment.

“I am far from perfect and I have done this before and I wish I hadn’t but I have because in the moment it was easier to give no explanation and just stop replying.”

But being on the other side of it hits differently. It makes you realize how lazy ghosting really is. It’s not about protecting someone’s feelings. It’s about protecting your own discomfort.

“Ghosting is less so about the person that it’s being done to and more about the immaturity of the person that is doing the ghosting.”

If you actually respect someone, you can send a message like, “Hey, I had a really great time with you, but I don’t see this going further. I wish you all the best.” That one text can close the loop and leave both people feeling human.

That’s maturity. That’s empathy.

The Lesson You Don’t See Coming

Getting ghosted taught me something I didn’t expect: how to not take rejection personally.

“At the end of the day, you have to put yourself out there in order to get anything in return. And sometimes that means getting ghosted or having a bad dating experience or having a good dating experience that turns into a bad one.”

Dating is vulnerable by design. You’re sharing your personality, your humor, your story with someone who gets to decide if they want to keep learning more. That takes guts.

And the only way to build real confidence in dating is to accept that sometimes it won’t go your way, and that’s okay.

“Putting yourself out there to try to meet somebody is a really vulnerable and embarrassing thing to do inherently.”

That vulnerability is what makes you grow.

Why Ghosting Still Hurts (And Why It Should)

You can be confident, mature, and self-aware and still feel hurt when someone disappears. That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.

“When they stop responding, that hurts. That feels like shit when somebody decides they’re no longer into it.”

Every time it happens, you learn something new about yourself. You learn what kind of communication you expect, what kind of energy you want, and where your boundaries actually are.

That’s the part people don’t talk about enough. Ghosting can be a wake-up call for what you’re no longer willing to tolerate. It’s the quiet start of self-respect.

If that idea resonates, listen to Ruin The Friendship, another episode about taking risks instead of sitting in silence.

Why This Episode Matters

This episode isn’t just about being ghosted. It’s about owning your reaction, keeping your confidence, and realizing that rejection isn’t a reflection of your worth.

“Don’t take this upon your character or yourself that you’re an undateable person because somebody decided not to give you a reason as to why they stopped responding.”

If you’re dating, you’re going to have awkward silences, fizzled texts, and confusing goodbyes. But that doesn’t mean you stop trying.

“If you’re not dating and you want to start and this part of it scares you that is totally understandable. But know that there is somebody here that is also trying to make it work.”

That’s why I started Guyset. To create a space where guys can actually talk about this stuff without feeling weird, losery, or alone.

FAQ: Why This Episode Matters

What will listeners learn from this episode?
How to handle rejection with confidence, why ghosting says more about them than you, and how to move forward without overthinking it.

Why is ghosting such a big deal?
Because it exposes how people avoid confrontation. Learning to respond with empathy instead of silence is a sign of maturity.

How can you move on from being ghosted?
By remembering that your value isn’t up for debate just because someone stopped texting. Reflect, reset, and keep putting yourself out there.

Read More

• What Getting Ghosted Really Means

• 7 Lessons I Learned From Getting Ghosted

• What To Do When You Get Ghosted