Why the Gym Feels So Intimidating (And How I Got Over It)
How I turned gym intimidation into confidence, one rep at a time
By
Josh Felgoise
Oct 1, 2025
How to Overcome Gym Anxiety: One Step at a Time
Walking into the gym can feel like walking onto another planet. Everyone looks like they know exactly what they’re doing, adjusting machines, lifting heavy weights, moving with confidence, while you’re standing there thinking, what the hell do I do?
I’ve been there. For a long time actually. In this episode of Guyset, I shared my journey of going from hiding in the corner of the gym to building the confidence to take on workouts I once thought were impossible. If you’ve ever felt lost, intimidated, or stuck in your own head when you walk into the gym, this one’s for you.
My First Days at the Gym: Finding a Safe Spot
When I first started, I didn’t know what to do. So I found myself a little corner by the StairMasters. It wasn’t a workout area. It was barely big enough for a mat and a couple of free weights. But it became my safe place.
“It was not a spot to workout. It was really barely big enough to fit one mat and a couple of the free weights I brought over. But it was a start for me.”
That corner gave me something I desperately needed: a place to show up to. And showing up was the win.
Lesson #1: Find a place in the gym where you feel comfortable starting. It doesn’t matter if it’s not the cool area. What matters is that you show up.
The Truth: Nobody’s Watching You
For a long time, I thought every guy in the gym was looking at me, thinking, he doesn’t know how to bench press, or he’s stuck in the corner. But the truth was completely different.
“Nobody is thinking about you. Nobody cares. Nobody gives a f**.”*
Once I realized that, everything shifted. I could experiment without worrying about who was watching. I could ask questions. I could make mistakes. And I stopped living in the story in my head that everyone was judging me.
Lesson #2: Most people are too focused on themselves to notice what you’re doing. Free yourself from that pressure.
Common Mistakes Guys Make When Starting at the Gym
Looking back, there were a few mistakes I made (and I see a lot of guys making) when starting out:
Overthinking everything. You psych yourself out before you even pick up a weight.
Trying to look like you know it all. It’s okay to ask for help or admit you don’t know how to use a machine.
Doing too much, too fast. I told myself, “This is too big, this is too much, I can’t handle it,” instead of breaking it down.
Not asking for guidance. Once I finally asked a trainer for help, everything changed.
Confusing consistency with growth. Consistency is important, but if you never level up, you stay stagnant.
Avoiding these mistakes doesn’t just make the gym easier. It makes it more enjoyable.
Leveling Up: From Routine to Growth
Eventually, I got consistent. I worked with a trainer. I built a routine. But then he gave me a new 10-day plan—and I froze.
“I looked at it and it scared the living s** out of me. I was like, I can’t do any of this.”*
So I ignored it. For weeks. I went back to my old plan, convincing myself I wasn’t ready.
But here’s what happened: one day, I tested it. I didn’t do the full three sets. I just did one or two. And I realized I could do it. Not perfectly, not easily, but I could.
Lesson #3: Growth requires discomfort. You don’t have to conquer it all at once, but you do have to take the step forward.
Mindset Shifts That Changed Everything
The gym taught me way more than how to lift weights. It reshaped how I think about challenges in general.
From fear to curiosity. Instead of thinking I can’t do that, I started asking what if I tried?
From perfection to progress. I stopped needing to nail everything and started celebrating small wins.
From big picture panic to small steps. I stopped looking at the full workout and started focusing on just the next move.
“When you’re looking at something from the big picture, it can be so scary and overwhelming. But if you take it one movement at a time, it becomes manageable.”
These mindset shifts apply to everything: work, relationships, even just waking up on time.
One Step at a Time (In the Gym and in Life)
Here’s the biggest takeaway:
Don’t look at the whole workout. Focus on the next movement
Don’t stress about the whole week. Focus on today
Don’t obsess over the big life goal. Focus on the next step
“One thing at a time. One movement at a time. One step at a time.”
This isn’t just a gym lesson. It’s a life lesson.
FAQ: Overcoming Gym Intimidation
How do I stop feeling judged at the gym?
Realize they aren’t judging you. Most people are locked in on their own workout. As I said in the episode, “Nobody is thinking about you. Nobody cares. Nobody gives a fuck.
What if I don’t know how to use the machines?
Ask a trainer, watch a quick video, or start with free weights in a safe space. Everyone has a learning curve.
How do I know when it’s time to level up?
If your workouts feel repetitive and easy, it’s time to challenge yourself. Comfort is good, but growth comes from pushing past it.
What if I try and fail?
Then you try again. Failure is part of the process. It’s proof that you’re pushing yourself.
Key Takeaways
If you’re struggling with gym intimidation or feeling overwhelmed in life, remember:
Find your corner. Start where you feel comfortable
Stop overthinking. Nobody’s watching you as closely as you think
Ask for help. Trainers, friends, even YouTube, use what’s available
Level up when it’s time. Don’t let comfort become stagnation
Take it one step at a time. Break it down into pieces you can handle
Final Thoughts
I spent months convincing myself I couldn’t handle that new workout routine. But once I tried, I realized I was capable the whole time.
“Just because you thought you couldn’t before doesn’t mean you never were able to.”
That’s true for the gym and it’s true for life. You’re stronger than you think. You just need to start, and then keep taking it one step at a time.
