How To Get Back Up Again

Today I want to talk to you about getting back up again. Picking yourself back up, changing what is going on, changing your energy, changing your mood, changing your mindset, getting back into your life, getting back on track, getting back to where you want to be and where you want to go.

Because a lot of the time when you're thrown off track, when you're thrown off your path, when you're not where you want to be, or where you thought you would be, or where you think you're supposed to be, it feels like it is out of your control to get back there. It feels like an impossible feat to get back there. It feels like it's something that is never gonna happen.

And the sooner you learn that it is always in your control, it always has been in your control, and it always will be in your control, the better off you will be. And I want to start there in that place. For whatever reason, you feel like you're off track or you're not where you wanna be, and you haven't been able to find your way back, or you don't even really like see a way back. Maybe

Something happened or somebody said something or something went the other way or went the wrong way or didn't go the way that you planned it or expected or wanted it to go. Maybe something happened with somebody in your life, whether that be a friend or your girlfriend or a coworker, your boss, your roommate, that like really made you feel blah, like just really shook you and made you feel shitty and made you feel like you don't want to feel, but you really can't find a way back.

To feeling better about it, and you just feel like you're in that like liminal space of I don't know how I got here, but I don't know how to get back. Maybe you got rejected by a girl or rejected by a job. Maybe you got ghosted. Maybe that thing you really wanted didn't happen, or you didn't get it, or you got let down, or you got pushed down or you got thrown off. All of those things can really set you off your course.

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And throw you off of your line, for lack of better word, like the line that you are on, the path that you have carved out, where you want to be, where you wanna go, what you wanna do. And somehow you find yourself off to the side of that line, wondering how you got there and wondering how you'll you can get back and if you'll ever get back.

So this is for any moment when you're feeling a little off or you just can't shake it or you just can't get out of it. This episode is really for anybody that's feeling down or out or lonely or lost or any of it. And I want to share a few of the things that I think could really help you when you're in a moment like that or a time like that where you just don't really see a way out or you can't figure out how to get out of it.

But you want to, and you know that you want to. And that's kind of the first thing is that, like, knowing that this won't last forever, this won't be a forever thing. You don't have to be here forever. It sucks that you're in this right now, but it's not going to last forever. And I think, especially with the weather starting to get a little bit colder and knowing that seasonal depression is not just a fun phrase to say, it's also a real thing. Like it's not just not a fun phrase.

It's not just a trend and like a thing that TikTok or Gen Z has kind of took over. Like it also is a real thing that happens. Like your mood does decrease when the weather gets colder out and when the sun goes down earlier and you just like feel a little sadder, but you don't know why. That is a real thing. And I think this is kind of the perfect time to talk about this. At the beginning of the season.

I think that this will be helpful for anybody that's in that moment right now or in a period of their life where they're experiencing a funk or feeling down or feeling out. And I hope that this episode can give you some tactics or practices that you can hopefully use to get out of whatever you're in. As always, of course, like I'm not a therapist, I'm not a psychologist.

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I'm just another guy who's 26 years old and has felt these ways before, as does as has every human being ever who has existed on planet Earth at some point or another. And I think that's kind of where I want to start. Like I was just gonna say, like, of course, like if you're feeling that way for a long time, like talk to a therapist, like talk to somebody trusted. There's a lot of real, real resources out there. This is just a podcast. and I'm not pretending to be anything more than just that, but like I I always think it's helpful to hear somebody say that, like.

You're not alone in all of this. Like I I do believe that is a really helpful and powerful thing to hear. That like when you're in a period like this, for someone to be like, I've also been there too. That automatically makes you feel like a little bit lighter about it. You're like, huh, okay. Because when you're in a moment like that, like you feel like you're the only person in the world that has ever experienced that. You feel like you're the only person in the world that is currently experiencing that. And to know that there are other people who have experienced that, are experiencing it, will experience it, like.

That should make you feel less alone in that, less isolated in it. And I think that is important to say. So that's why I think episodes like this or podcasts like this in general that like talk about the things that should be talked about or talk about things that like people don't ever really talk about are helpful because a lot of the time when you're seeing somebody's life or you're even seeing people in your life, the your your friends, like you're really only seeing the highlight reel and you're seeing what they want you to see, and they're only sharing what they want to share and

News flash, like guys experience pretty deep emotions too. They just don't really talk about them or share them or say them out loud or admit to them or I said talk about them, but like that is the truth of it. I saw this really funny video today, and it was like a cartoon of God-making guys, and it it was like him, and then it was like a a round table of other cartoon guys, and he was like, all in favor of giving guys also really deep emotions, and everyone's like

I and then he's like all in favor of never letting them ever say those emotions, and everyone's like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I that is exactly kind of what I'm talking about here. It's like we all have all this shit too. We just kind of bottle it up and push it down or shove it down, and when we like throw it up into our mouth, we just kind of swallow it for lack of a better word. That's gross, but like you know what I mean. and I think that that I hope it that this is one of the

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benefits of this podcast or one of the best parts of this podcast is that I bring these kind of things to light to be like, hey, if you're in a funk, that's normal and that is understandable. And there is probably a lot of other people alongside you in that too. You just don't know about it because nobody talks about it. So I wanna give you some tactices, tactices, cactuses, tactics and practices.

or strategies that I think have worked for me when I've been in a place like this where I'm feeling a little down or a little out. And things that have worked for me, if you're in a moment like that, or in a period like that, or if you ever find yourself in a moment like that, because that's inevitable. That is just part of life. That at some point everything is not going to be perfect, and things aren't gonna go your way, and things are gonna go wrong, and

It may feel like things are stacking up at you or on top of you and it feels like the odds are not in your favor and everything is against you and the world is out to get you and throws you off from the path that I'm talking about. And I think coming back to something like this and hearing what I'm talking about or hearing the practices and things that tactices that I'm about tact tactics that I'm about to share hopefully will be helpful to you and

get you kind of closer to that path or back on that line or on the course that you want to be on and out of that moment when you're feeling down and out and funky. Because it's such a weird place to be and it's a weird feeling and you just feel like you're the only person in it. And I hope that this helps. I hope that knowing that there are other people trudging through the mud not sure

when they'll get out of that mud and knowing when the next kind of step will be that feels like it's on dry land and out of this period of life where it's like hopefully that's helpful too. And I think something in here will hopefully get you back on course and on track. So for whatever you're in, if this is relating to you, if you feel like this is for you, strap in, because I think something will be good. The first one

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Is take a deep breath and drink water, get outside, go for a walk, go to the gym, lift weights, get your body moving, run, walk, whatever it is, lift heavy shit. This I'm kind of combining into one category of like the easy accessible things that you can do right this second, that you can do right now. Like if you're hearing me talk right now, you can do this stuff. One of them.

Two of them, three of them, whichever one, try and then try the next one and try the next one. I think that when you're in a mood or a funk or you're feeling off, getting outside is one of the best things you can do. And again, none of this is like actual real advice, but I think it is real advice. So I'm gonna say it is real advice. Get outside, get out of the place you're in, close your computer, put your fucking phone down, like for real.

get outside, get into the sunlight, get in get some fresh air, like take some deep breaths, bring a water bottle with you, sip on some water, go for a long walk. Like those three things combined, I think have a lot of healing power, to be honest. I think they have a lot of like power to get you back to the place you want to be at and out of what you're in. I think that when you're in these moods or these funks, or I'll say we, I'll say like I think that when we are in these moods or in these funks or in these moments.

We stay in the exact same place we're in. We stay sag stagnant in the chair we're in or on the couch or in the bed or in the apartment, in the home, in the place. Like we just stay. And we sit in it and we seep in it and we sulk in it and we don't get out of it. I think the first thing to get out of it is to physically get out of it. Physically take yourself out of the place you are in and go somewhere else. Get outside, even if it's for five minutes, even if it's even if it's for one minute, seriously. Like just get outside.

Take some sips of water, take a deep breath and just go, get out. I think this is one of the most beneficial things you can do when you're in a moment like this. Because again, like we just stay in it and we're like, nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna better, and we just stay where we are and we seep into it and we sulk in it. And that's the worst thing you can do. That's like the worst thing you can do when you're in a moment like this or in a time like this.

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Get outside. Not saying this is gonna solve all your problems, not gonna say this, not saying this is gonna solve any of your problems, but it will make you feel better. And I can guarantee that at least for a second or so, it will make you feel a little bit lighter and a little bit separated from the thing you're in. Get outside. I guess I can't say guarantee, but like I really do feel that way. Like I really do feel like this is gonna make you feel better. Just get out from where you are and go.

I really have found that like lifting weights has also been one of these things for me. Like if I if my day hasn't gone right or if nothing went right and this person said this and this boss said this and this coworker said this and this happened and this didn't happen and everything, it just feels like like a a day of constant like nothing and constant mess and mood and bad energy. Lifting heavy shit.

Feels amazing. Like it, it makes you feel like you have power. It makes you feel like you can do something. It makes you feel in control. I couldn't recommend lifting more when you're in a place like this. Go to the gym. Go literally just pick up a couple weights and do curls or do a bench press or do a curl like a press with curls or do like a

pull down or do I'm just now I'm just like trying to come up with like other workouts that I do. do like overhead do Arnold press just do something. Just go lift heavy shit. Of course lift like within your means and wherever you're actually at. Like I'm not saying go like pick up a 75 pound dumbbell and then break your arm because I couldn't do that. I couldn't do like a 60 I probably maybe I could. I'm not trying to say that to a flex. I'm just whatever. go lift heavy shit.

You will feel better and then go for a walk. Like, just get your body moving. That will automatically make you feel better. Like that one I urge you to do. I'm like commanding you to do. That one is first foremost before anything else. The next one is try not to make things bigger than they need to be. I think we have a tendency to use one thing as a reason to magnify everything else.

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And be another example as to why we suck or why we're not good enough or why we deserve to be in that place or why we'll never get out of that place or why we can't because we don't and we won't, we won't, and we like it's just like we kind of create this thing for ourselves and we like push ourselves further and further down when something happens. We use it as a reason, as like another example as to why.

Try not to make things bigger than they need to be. Like something is allowed to suck in isolation. That doesn't have to mean that like everything sucks. One thing can suck, and that doesn't have to mean like your whole day sucks, if that makes sense. Like

You can like a a girl could not respond to you or end things with you. And that doesn't mean that your job also sucks and you also suck at your job and you aren't a good friend and you aren't a good person and you aren't like you don't have to kind of tack on that one suck into everything else's suck.

They could all just suck in tandem at the same time, but for the most part, they don't. For the most part, you can find that like one or two things is good and the one thing that sucks can kind of separate and stay in isolation. I think that we like to use the one suck to be an example of the fact that everything else also sucks, or we suck in all of the examples when that's just not true.

And I think that that is something that like we our our brain can have a tendency to do, to be like, well, you sucked at this, so you probably suck at and this and this and this too. Or like this thing went wrong, so this thing also probably went wrong, and this thing also went. That's just not true. So make sure that when something goes wrong, you allow it to be wrong in isolation. And that does not have to mean that everything else is also wrong. Don't use something to magnify everything else. And don't use them as like,

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Proof points against yourself. Like there's no reason to like bury yourself underneath all of these things. I think that when we're in a moment or a mood or our energy's off or we're feeling down about ourselves or out about ourselves, we can use these things as proof points against us to like pile shit on top of ourselves. There's no need to do that. Honestly, like there just just.

Don't like you know, like you don't have to do that. You're you're allowed to not do that. You're allowed to actually stop your kind of thinking in its tracks and be like, actually, I don't want to do that. Actually, I don't want to think that way. And then you don't have to. That that isn't in that like when I say we are in complete control of our thoughts, we're not in control of how everybody else acts around us or what people do to us or against us or whatever that is or how that feels.

We are 100% in control of how we think about that though. We are 100% in control of how we think about what we want to say back to them or how we want to act or how we want to react. It may not always feel like that, but we are 100% in control of that at all times. Don't make things bigger than they need to be. Something is allowed to suck in isolation, and it doesn't have to mean that everything sucks together.

Like put it in its own shit box. Like it doesn't have to smear across the rest of the boxes too, if that makes sense. Something is allowed to sit in its own shit box. That doesn't mean that every other box also has shit in it or on it. Some of those boxes may just be like pristine and they may not have any shit on them. Maybe a little shit smear I'm this is like a gross example, but I think it I think it's a good visualization of what I'm trying to say. Sorry if this is disgusting. I'm like talking about puke and shit this whole thing I'm so sorry. but maybe I think it works. There

The shit box is allowed to stay its own shit box. It will not smear across the rest of them and it doesn't have to. When you're in a moment like this, I kind of alluded to this in the last shitbox kind of example. It can feel like everything is stacking up against you. And that all like take each kind of thing that is making you feel bad or making you feel off. It can feel like that.

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Each of those is a brick, and each brick is stacking up, one on top of the next, on top of the next, on top of the next. And you start to look at this pile of bricks, and it starts to get bigger and bigger and bigger. And you're like, How in the first place did it get so big? And then each thing that goes wrong stacks on top of that and stacks on top of that. And soon that pile of bricks is as tall as you.

And sooner than that, it's taller than you. And then it gets to a point where you can't even see the top of it. And you're like, how did this happen? And how how do I get out of this? And the shadow of the bricks is on top of you. And everything at all times feels like this is about to come down and crumble you and destroy you. You're allowed to place those bricks alongside each other. They don't have to stack up.

Something can go wrong or something can disappoint you or something can feel off or something can make you feel upset or mad or angry or f not go the way you wanted it to go or whatever. And those are all allowed to be things that exist, but they don't have to stack up. That doesn't they don't have to go up like that. They can all exist, but they can be in front of you and alongside each other.

So that you feel like you can step over them. You are allowed to step over them. Those are things that do not need to stack up. They are allowed to exist, and I'm sure they do exist.

But at some point you are allowed to step over them. At some point you're allowed to take one of those bricks and fucking chuck it as far as possible and get rid of it and never see it again. And say, you know what, I dealt with that thing and now it's dealt with. I don't need to keep thinking about it. I don't need to keep going back on that and ruminating on it and feeling bad about it and making myself feel bad for it. You're allowed to take that brick and chuck it against a wall or ch and you're also here's a better way to put it, you're also allowed to put that brick back into the wall.

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And build something and actually build a structure. I I like that even better. You're allowed the these things can suck, and and things do suck. I'm not saying that things don't suck, but I'm saying that they don't have to stack up against you. It doesn't have to feel like everything is stacked up against you. And they can still exist without stacking up against you. And at some point, when you've figured it out or you've overcome it, you can put that brick into the wall and it can create a structure and it can be a part of your home, but it doesn't have to be the home.

Lay the bricks alongside each other and don't stack them up. They are their own individual things, circumstances, frustrations, rejections, and they don't all have to be stacked up against you. Treat them all as their own. And on the other side of this, if you are stacking up your losses or the things that feel like losses or rejections or misfortunes or frustrations or any of those.

You have to also be stacking up your wins. You also have to be thinking about the things that are going well. You owe that to yourself, to be thinking about the things that are going well. And I guarantee you that you can find a few. If you're f spending all of your time thinking about all the things that are going wrong, you have to spend you owe it to yourself to at least spend a minute to think about the things that are going right, or the things you're grateful for, or the things that you're happy about, or the things that you want to do.

Or the things that you see that are good and you're happy about and you're excited about and that are moving you forward that you're looking forward to. You owe it to yourself to look at the wins and the good as well. Don't not give yourself that.

So th I talk about the shit boxes, I talked about the bricks, and I now want to talk about what I'm calling the blender. When we're in a moment like this, when we're feeling down, when we're feeling bad about ourselves, when we're looking for a way to get back up or get back on our path.

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We put ourselves in these spin cycles. Some people call them feedback loops. Some people call them rumination. Some people call whatever you want to call it. I'm gonna, for the sake of this blender example that I've created, call it a spin cycle. We put ourselves inside a blender and we give ourselves no way to get out. We push blend and then we do that like little like dun dun dun dun dun where it like blend, blend, blend, blend, blend.

And at times it's blending for the whole time and it doesn't feel like it's ever gonna stop. And then when it does stop, it feels like you know it's gonna start again at some point and you're wondering when it's gonna blend next, but you just know that it's going to again. Don't forget to pour it out. Don't forget to pour it out. If you're in that blender right now and you're in that spin cycle right now, and you've been in it for a while and

You feel like it's gonna blend soon, and you feel like you have not and have have not gotten out, and there's no way to get out. You can remind yourself, don't forget to pour it out. When you pour out the blender and you click blend again, there's nothing to blend. At some point, you might start filling that blender up again with things, with rejections, with things that have happened, with something somebody said or something somebody did that made you feel bad, that made you feel

weaker or less than or mad or upset or sad or depressed or whatever word you want to put into the blender, at some point it can start to fill up again. And it can you can feel like you're still in that blender again. But at some point you have to remember to pour it out. I'm not saying stuff won't fill back into it, but you are allowed to pour it out too. You do not have to stay in there forever.

It may fill back up, it may feel like it's stuck and the lid won't come off and there's some residue like when you make a smoothie in a blender and there's still some in the bottom and some at that little spout part. That's valid, but allow some of it to go, allow some of it to flow out. It doesn't have to build up forever.

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I call this next one the scissors. When you catch yourself thinking about the thing that is pissing you off or bothering you or you feel like you can't get out from or you're upset about and you've been upset about for a while, take your fingers like this, physically take your fingers like this. If you're watching on video on YouTube, hi, it's that guy say you can watch every video on YouTube every Tuesday. take your fingers like this, like scissors, and literally cut the thought. Like literally make the thing when you go and cut that thought from your mind.

You're allowed to stop a thought. You're allowed to say, I no longer really want to think about this. I'm actually good without this right now. Cut and then move on to the next thing and think about the next thing. Take your scissors and cut. See what happens. Like whenever you catch yourself going back to that place and thinking about that thing and the thing you're ruminating on and you just kind of can't get out of, cut. See if it works. Try that one. Along the same vein, the next one is called clouds.

I really like this one. I think I saw this one on TikTok. I love this one. When you can't get out from that place or that thought or that mood or that mindset or that energy, put it on a cloud and watch it in your head go by. Like when you look up at the sky and you watch clouds go by, which is such a peaceful thing to do, by the way. I haven't done it in so long. Watch that thought on a cloud in your mind and watch it go by. See what happens.

Just watch it go by. That thing that's pissing you off, that person, that whatever I I I don't wanna I'm purposefully trying to be vague in all of these, because I think these tactics and practices really can apply to so many different scenarios and things. So I'm purposefully being being vague in all of this. Put that thought on the cloud. I'm gonna say thought for lack of better word, and watch it go by. And then watch it kind of disappear from your mindset and your thoughts.

And then see what happens. I really like those two, the scissors and the cloud.

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And if none of these are working, and if none of these things are kind of getting you out of your funk or helping you get back up or get back to the place that you want to be, there are real things to do. Talk to somebody. Like talk to somebody that you trust and that you love and that you know loves you back, whether it's a sibling, your sister, your brother, whether it's a friend, whether it's your girlfriend, whether it's your boy, like whoever in your life, your mom, your dad, like just talk to somebody. It doesn't have to be like, hey, I've been feeling down for so long.

Just be like, hey, like this thing is bothering me or this thing is pissing me off. And just like talk to them about it and then just like see what they say and have a real conversation about it. As I mentioned earlier, of course, there's always therapy and there's always like real, real things that you can do to help you really get out of where you are or what you're in if you're feeling that way. And I really highly recommend that. I think that I or I hope that this podcast has been one of the things that has like destigmatized.

Therapy and mental health and all of the things that guys are kind of afraid of or fear or just push away or shove down that are so real. I I did an episode a while back with my friend called Gabe, or not my friend called Gabe. The the his name is Gabe, but the episode was called Therapy with Gabe Fennel. We talked about his experience going to therapy and I thought it was an amazing episode. I was like so proud of him and that episode. I thought that was really cool. And

Listen to that if you if you're kind of in this place as well. I thought that was an amazing kind of moment for this podcast where I was like, wow, like that is I set out to to talk about the things that should be talked about, and that was a moment where I was like, Yeah, I fucking did that. Or we did that, not me, because it was really much more gabe than me. I just kinda like created the conversation. and this one feels similar. Like I I I hope this feels similar with where it's like these are things that are so real. Like

Everybody has a moment that they kind of can't get out of, or a thing that's been bothering them, or bogging them down, or putting them down. And I hope that one of these tactics or things will help you get out of that. Don't silo yourself in these moments and kind of push people away and and not ever talk about them or try to do anything. Like

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There are things you can do, and you will not be in that place forever. I promise you that. There are things that you can do. There are actual and real ways to get back to where you want to be. And I think try any of these practices or tactics. I'm just gonna run through them one more time. So it's take a deep breath, drink water, get outside, go for a walk or a run, go to the gym, lift heavy shit, get your body moving, put your phone down, drink water.

Try not to make things bigger than they need to be. The bricks is what I talked about. Laying things alongside each other, not allowing them to stack up, and knowing that you can lay them alongside each other. And if you're gonna count your losses, you better count your wins too. The blender example or analogy, don't forget to pour it out every once in a while. The scissors, when you catch yourself kind of thinking about these things or the things that are pissing you off or bothering you, cut it.

And then also that cloud that you can watch your things fly by and breeze by and see what that does for you. Talk to somebody, of course. You're not alone in any of this. Don't stay alone in any of this and get out from where you are and share what's going on. Like share your feelings, share your thoughts, like just talk to people. you'll feel better for it. If you're in a place where you're looking for how to get back up, just know that you will.

Know that you will. I know that you will, and you have to know that you will too. And know that that is a thing you can do. Like at any given moment, you can change your own life. Truly. You can change your circumstance. You can change your mindset. You can change the way you feel. It is 100% completely within your control. It always has been and it always will be.

That is the episode. Thank you so much for listening to Guy Set, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh, I'm 26 years old, and I'm here every single week, every single Tuesday, to talk about what should be talked about for guys. If you liked this episode, I really hope you did. Please like, subscribe to this podcast. Five stars leave the twenty four five stars, not four, not three, two, no one. It's five stars. Thank you so for that. I really really appreciate that. If you want anything to talk about that should be talked about for guys, head to my website, guyset.com, g-u-i-s-e-t.com. There's an ask me anything box right there. You ask me anything, I'll be sure to talk about it. You can also find daily blog posts on dating, confidence, mindset.

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mental health, style, what to wear, what to do, career. Like you can find so many daily blog posts on there. I post about three to four a day across all these different topics. So you can literally search any question and there'll probably be a blog post that matches up to it. I'm answering the questions that guys are asking every day on there as I do on here. It's like an extension of the podcast in more and easier accessible separated questions.

Thank you so much for listening to Guyset a guy's guide to what should be talked about, and I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you get back up when life knocks you down?

Start with small, manageable actions that help you feel more in control. Get outside, go for a walk, exercise, or talk to someone you trust. You don't have to fix everything at once. Sometimes, getting back up starts with doing one thing that makes you feel a little better.

How do you get out of a funk when you feel stuck?

Change your environment and get your body moving. Spending time outside, exercising, and stepping away from your phone can help interrupt the cycle of negative thinking. Focus on what you can do right now instead of everything that feels wrong.

How do you stop overthinking things that went wrong?

Remind yourself that one bad experience doesn't mean everything in your life is going wrong. Try separating individual problems instead of letting them build on each other. When you catch yourself replaying something negative, practice letting that thought pass rather than continuing to dwell on it.

How do you stay positive when everything feels like it's going wrong?

Make an effort to recognize what's still going right. When you're focused on disappointments, rejections, or setbacks, it's easy to overlook your accomplishments and the good things in your life. If you're counting your losses, make sure you're counting your wins, too.

How do you find motivation again after a setback?

Don't wait until you feel completely motivated to start moving forward. Take one small action, whether that's going to the gym, reconnecting with a friend, or returning to something you enjoy. Progress doesn't have to happen all at once, and a setback doesn't mean you've lost your ability to move forward.