As guys, there's a notion that we're just supposed to know how everything works when it comes to the gym and lifting. Personally, I was so far from that until about a year ago when I decided to put my ego aside and try. A year later, here's what happened when I did.

The Gym Ego Problem: How I Went from Corner Cardio to Confident Weight Lifting

Walking into a gym for the first time can feel like entering a foreign country where everyone speaks a language you don't understand. Josh Felgoise, host of Guyset, knows this feeling intimately. At 23, he spent nearly two years hiding in the corner of his gym, doing floor workouts with 20-pound dumbbells, because he was too intimidated to venture into the weight section.

His story reveals the harsh truth about "gym culture" and the toxic belief that guys are supposed to just "know" how everything works. More importantly, it shows exactly how to overcome that intimidation and build real confidence.

The Shame of Not Knowing

"When I stepped into the gym a year ago, I had no fucking clue how anything worked, what any machine was, how any of the equipment worked," Josh admits. "I had no idea where to start or how to do any of it."

For six months, Josh confined himself to the ellipticals and mat area, doing Peloton app workouts with light dumbbells. He was intimidated by everything else he saw:

• Other guys who looked bigger and stronger

• People who seemed to have routines memorized

• Equipment he didn't recognize

• The unspoken rules of gym etiquette

Why Guys Think They Should "Just Know"

Josh identifies a toxic cultural expectation: "There's this idea that guys know how all of that works. Like you just slip into the gym and you magically know what every machine does, how to work everything, what muscle groups that machine works for."

This belief creates shame around not knowing—shame that keeps guys stuck in their comfort zones, missing out on the physical and mental benefits of strength training.

The Turning Point: Admitting You Don't Know

After a year and a half of staying in his corner, Josh finally swallowed his pride and asked a trainer for help. The response? Complete understanding and support.

"I just admitted that I did not know what the fuck I was doing. And they were so chill. They were just like, 'Yeah, of course. Here, let's have a seat.'"

What the Trainer Did Right

The trainer asked basic questions:

• What are your goals?

• Are you looking to bulk or cut?

• What does your current routine look like?

When Josh admitted he didn't even understand the terminology, the trainer didn't judge—he educated. He wrote out a 4-5 day split with 5-6 exercises per day and gave Josh a roadmap.

The YouTube Learning Method

Armed with his workout plan, Josh still didn't know what half the exercises actually were. His solution? YouTube University.

"I would go in and Google the move that he told me and watch a YouTube video of it to just see how that shit worked because I had no idea what I was doing."

His Process:

1. Save the workout plan as a photo on his phone

2. Look up each exercise on YouTube before attempting it

3. Start with modifications when needed (assisted pull-ups, knee push-ups)

4. Progress gradually as strength and confidence built

The Power of Starting Somewhere

Josh's motto became "You have to start somewhere to get anywhere." This mindset shift was crucial because:

• It allowed imperfection: You don't need to be good to begin

• It focused on process over outcome: Each workout was practice

• It removed the pressure: Everyone started as a beginner once

Real Progress: The Pull-Up Victory

One of Josh's biggest breakthroughs came with pull-ups. He started with heavy assistance on the pull-up machine and gradually reduced the weight:

• Started with 65 pounds of assistance

• Worked down to 45, then 35, then 25, 15, 10

• After six months, attempted unassisted pull-ups

• Successfully completed 10 in a row

"I'm telling you, one of the biggest accomplishments I've ever felt... it was because of the months of work I had put in to get there."

Overcoming the Three Mental Barriers

Josh identifies three main obstacles that held him back:

1. Embarrassment of Being Seen Trying

Fear of looking foolish while learning new movements in front of others.

2. Fear of Failure

Worry about not being able to complete exercises or lift as much as others.

3. Shame of Not Already Knowing

The toxic belief that he should have naturally understood gym equipment and routines.

What Actually Changed

The transformation wasn't just physical—it was mental and emotional:

Confidence: "The amount of confidence I feel in myself, not even just the progress I saw... the confidence I now feel in my abilities, in my mentality, in the way I think about myself has changed dramatically."

Happiness: "I feel so much happier because of all of this."

Self-Trust: Learning to trust the process and his own ability to improve through consistency.

Breaking the "Guy Code" of Silence

Josh emphasizes that men rarely discuss these struggles: "We as guys or boys are taught to believe that we're supposed to just know how it works... that it's embarrassing or shameful to not already know."

This silence perpetuates the problem. By sharing his story, Josh normalizes the learning process and encourages other men to seek help.

Practical Tips for Gym Beginners

Based on Josh's journey, here are actionable steps for overcoming gym intimidation:

Before You Start:

1. Ask for a gym tour from staff—it's literally their job

2. Get a basic workout plan from a trainer

3. Watch YouTube videos of exercises you don't recognize

4. Start with bodyweight or light weights to learn form

Your First Workouts:

1. Save your workout plan as a phone photo for easy reference

2. Focus on learning movements, not lifting heavy

3. Use assisted versions of difficult exercises

4. Don't compare yourself to experienced lifters

Building Confidence:

1. Track your progress week by week

2. Gradually increase weight as form improves

3. Celebrate small wins like Josh's first unassisted pull-up

4. Remember everyone started somewhere

The Bigger Picture: Why This Matters

Josh's gym story is really about something larger—the courage to be vulnerable and admit when you don't know something. This applies to:

• Career development: Asking questions at work

• Relationships: Seeking advice on dating or communication

• Life skills: Learning to cook, fix things, manage money

• Personal growth: Therapy, meditation, self-improvement

Breaking the Cycle

"If you don't know how to do any of this, so fucking what? Why does that matter?" Josh asks. "Why do we hold ourselves to this standard?"

The answer lies in breaking the cycle:

1. Admit when you don't know something

2. Ask for help without shame

3. Share your struggles so others don't feel alone

4. Normalize the learning process for the next guy

The One-Year Transformation

Looking back, Josh reflects: "The Josh one year ago at the gym would not recognize the Josh walking around the gym now."

This isn't about becoming the biggest guy at the gym—it's about becoming someone who:

• Tries new things despite fear

• Learns continuously without shame

• Supports others who are starting out

• Builds confidence through consistent action

Your Next Step

If you're currently the guy in the corner, Josh has a message for you: "It's okay to not know what the fuck you're doing. Like it just is and we're not told that enough."

The day you decide you've had enough of staying in the shadows, act on it. Your world can change from there.

Remember:

• Every expert was once a beginner

• Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness

• Consistency beats intensity every time

• You have to start somewhere to get anywhere

Final Thoughts

Josh's journey from corner cardio to confident lifting proves that the biggest barrier isn't physical—it's mental. The weights don't judge you. The machines don't care if you're a beginner. Other people are too focused on their own workouts to scrutinize yours.

The only thing holding you back is the voice in your head saying you should already know better. It's time to tell that voice to quiet down and start your own transformation journey.

After all, as Josh learned: "Consistency is no joke. That amount of work cannot be taken away from you. And that's a confidence that gets ingrained in you because it's your work and no one can take that hard work away from you."

Struggling with confidence in other areas of life? Subscribe to Guyset for more honest conversations about the challenges guys face in their 20s, from career anxiety to dating to personal growth.

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