The Emotional Side of Moving Nobody Talks About (And Why It's Totally Normal)

Why your first adult move hits different—and how to navigate the weird mix of excitement and sadness that comes with leaving home behind.

The Move Nobody Prepared You For

Moving as an adult isn't like moving for college. There's no orientation week, no built-in social structure, and no clear timeline for when you'll feel settled. You're not just changing locations—you're closing a chapter of your life and starting a completely new one.

Yet we rarely talk about the emotional complexity of adult moves. We focus on logistics: finding movers, packing boxes, changing addresses. But what about the nostalgia? The anxiety? The strange grief that comes with leaving a place that shaped you?

When Moving Goes Catastrophically Wrong

Before diving into the emotional side, it's worth acknowledging that sometimes the logistics themselves become traumatic. Consider this nightmare scenario: You hire what seems like a reputable moving company, only to have them disappear with all your belongings for two weeks while you start a new job with nothing but the clothes on your back.

This actually happens more than you'd think. Here's what you can learn from others' disasters:

Read the fine print religiously. That "affordable cross-country service" might actually be a storage situation where your stuff sits in a warehouse for weeks.

Confirm multiple times. Call a few days before, the day before, and the morning of your move.

Choose reputation over price. The cheapest option often becomes the most expensive when things go wrong.

Have a backup plan. Know what you'll do if movers don't show up or your new place isn't ready.

The silver lining? Once you've survived a truly catastrophic move, every future move feels manageable in comparison.

The Feelings Nobody Warns You About

The Bittersweet Recognition

You start noticing things you never paid attention to before—the way light hits your bedroom wall in the morning, the sounds from the street below, the exact spot on the couch where you recorded that important video call. These details become precious because you know they're temporary.

This isn't nostalgia for the past; it's pre-nostalgia for the present. You're grieving a loss that hasn't happened yet.

The Routine Disruption Anxiety

You've spent months or years perfecting your daily rhythm. The gym you love, the grocery store where you know every aisle, the bodega owner who knows your usual order. Moving means starting over with all these small but significant pieces of daily life.

The anxiety isn't just about finding new places—it's about losing the efficiency and comfort that comes with having everything figured out.

The Identity Shift

Places become part of who we are. The apartment where you started your podcast, had your first adult relationship, learned to cook for yourself—these locations hold pieces of your identity. Leaving them can feel like leaving parts of yourself behind.

The Roommate Factor

Moving away from roommates adds another emotional layer. You're not just leaving a place; you're ending a daily routine of human connection. No more "how was your day?" conversations in the kitchen, no more spontaneous hangouts, no more built-in social interaction after work.

The transition from shared living to solo living is particularly significant:

You lose casual companionship. That low-key presence of other people around becomes more valuable than you realized.

Decision-making becomes entirely your responsibility. No one else to bounce ideas off or share the mental load.

Silence hits different. Coming home to an empty space takes adjustment.

You discover new sides of yourself. Living alone reveals preferences and habits you never knew you had.

Why Two Things Can Be True at Once

The most important thing to understand about major life transitions is this: conflicting emotions can coexist without canceling each other out.

You can simultaneously:

• Feel sad about leaving while being excited about what's next

• Miss your old routine while looking forward to building a new one

• Appreciate what you had while wanting something different

• Feel grateful for the past while being ready for change

This emotional complexity isn't a sign of confusion—it's a sign of maturity. You're capable of holding multiple perspectives on the same situation.

The Adjustment Period Is Real

Moving doesn't end when the boxes are unpacked. There's an adjustment period that can last weeks or months, and it's completely normal to experience:

Loneliness, even if you're social and have friends Regret, wondering if you made the right choice Disorientation, feeling unmoored from your usual rhythms Second-guessing, questioning the decision to move

These feelings don't mean you made a mistake. They mean you're human, and humans need time to adapt to major changes.

Practical Ways to Process the Transition

Give Yourself Permission to Feel

Don't rush to "get over" the sadness or force yourself to be excited if that's not authentic. Acknowledge that this is a significant life change that deserves emotional processing.

Reflect Before Moving Forward

Take time to appreciate what this chapter of your life gave you. What did you learn? How did you grow? What memories will you carry forward?

This isn't dwelling on the past—it's integrating your experiences so you can move forward with intention rather than just jumping to the next thing.

Prepare for the Emotional Aftermath

Expect some difficult days in your new place. Have a plan for when loneliness hits: friends you can call, activities that bring you comfort, reminders of why you made this change.

Create New Rituals

Part of settling in means establishing new routines that feel good. Find your new coffee shop, establish a walking route, create a workspace that inspires you. These small rituals help turn a new space into home.

The Long View

Moving is practice for all of life's major transitions. Learning to navigate the emotional complexity of leaving one chapter and starting another is a skill you'll use repeatedly—in relationships, careers, and other major life changes.

The discomfort you feel during a move isn't a bug in the system; it's a feature. It means you're capable of forming deep attachments to places and people, and that capacity for connection will serve you well wherever you land next.

Beyond the Logistics

Most moving advice focuses on the practical: hiring movers, packing efficiently, changing your address. But the emotional work is just as important.

Moving isn't just about relocating your stuff—it's about carrying the best parts of one chapter into the next while remaining open to growth and change.

The weird feelings you're having? They're not weird at all. They're proof that you've built a life worth missing and evidence that you're brave enough to build another one.

Normalizing the Process

If you're in the middle of a move and feeling overwhelmed by the emotional complexity, remember:

• Feeling sad about leaving doesn't mean you're not ready for change

• Missing your old life doesn't mean your new life won't be better

• Taking time to grieve what you're leaving behind isn't dwelling—it's healthy processing

• The adjustment period is temporary, but the growth is permanent

Every move teaches you something new about yourself, your capacity for adaptation, and what really matters to you. Trust the process, even when it feels messy.

Listen to the Full Episode

This reflection comes from Guyset: A Guy's Guide to What Should Be Talked About, hosted by Josh Felgoise. For more honest conversations about life transitions and the experiences that shape us, find the full episode on:

• YouTube: Search for "Guyset" or visit the Guyset channel

• Instagram & TikTok: @theguyset

• Website: guyset.com

• Email: josh@guyset.com

New episodes drop every Tuesday, covering the transitions and challenges that define your twenties and beyond.

What transition are you avoiding because of the emotional complexity involved? Sometimes the discomfort is a sign that the change is worth making.