While it’s election day, Guyset HQ never misses a Tuesday. Tune in for an episode where I accidentally unravel an existential crisis I had recently, relive that for you in real time, and then talk about how to start living for yourself. This quickly became a much deeper episode than I intended it to be but the message is more important than I could have ever planned out so come along for the ride! And go vote if you haven’t yet!

Finding Your Purpose and Living for Yourself in Your 20s

Originally featured on the Guyset podcast - your guide to what should be talked about

When Time Moves Too Fast: An Existential Crisis at 24

Picture this: You're scrolling through old social media posts and stumble across something you posted two years ago. Suddenly, you're hit with the crushing realization that two entire years have passed in what feels like a blink.

This happened to me recently when I saw an old TikTok I'd made about Philadelphia sports teams getting good right when I moved to New York. The timestamp showed it was from two years ago, and I was sent into a complete existential spiral.

Where had that time gone? What had I accomplished? Why does life feel like it's moving so impossibly fast?

If you've ever had this feeling, you're not alone. These moments of time-related anxiety are incredibly common in your twenties, when you're simultaneously feeling behind in life and like everything is happening too quickly.

The Privilege of Getting Older

After journaling through that existential crisis (yes, I journal - we'll talk about that), I came to an important realization: Getting older is a privilege that we take for granted.

The fact that these two years flew by so quickly isn't something to panic about - it's proof that they were filled with growth, experiences, and meaningful moments. When time drags, it's usually because we're bored, stuck, or unhappy. When it flies, it often means we're engaged and growing.

This shift in perspective on aging has been huge for me. Instead of viewing each birthday as something to dread or a reminder of what I haven't accomplished yet, I now see every year as:

• An opportunity to grow even more

• A chance to find my purpose further

• Time to understand what I want to do and be

• Space to figure out what I'm supposed to do on earth

Yes, this sounds deep and maybe a little intense, but these are the questions that matter when you're navigating your twenties.

The One Change That Transformed My Confidence

When someone asked online "What is one simple change in your life that gave you incredibly great results?" my answer was immediate: lifting and strength training.

Here's why this matters beyond just physical fitness:

The Confidence Connection

I started taking the gym seriously in January, not because I wanted to look like a fitness influencer, but because I wanted to find more confidence in myself and my abilities.

The transformation wasn't just physical - it was mental:

• I feel confident in my physical abilities for the first time in my life

• I'm no longer the guy struggling to carry groceries five blocks home

• I've built a routine I can stick to and feel proud of

• I've learned to be okay with failure and gradual progress

Starting from Zero (And That's Okay)

Let me be completely honest: When I started, I was literally just doing the bar on bench press, maybe adding 5-10 pounds. I was not strong, and I was okay with admitting that.

For months, I'd look around the gym thinking everyone was judging me for being the weakest guy there. The reality? Nobody was looking at me. They were all focused on their own workouts, comparing themselves to others, and dealing with their own insecurities.

The lesson: You have to start somewhere, and everyone who's strong now was once exactly where you are.

Building a Practice Around What Works

Once I realized that lifting actively made me feel better, I created a consistent practice around it. Now I go to the gym 5-6 times a week, and it's become the foundation of my mental health routine.

Other practices that have similar effects for me:

• Journaling - getting thoughts out of my head and onto paper

• Drinking lots of water - simple but effective

• Getting good sleep - though I'm still working on this one

• Reading - I'm inconsistent but trying to improve

The key insight: When you find something that actively makes you feel better and more confident, lean into it and build your routine around it.

How to Stop Living for Other People

This might be the most important question of your twenties: How do you stop living for other people and start living for yourself?

The Fear of Failure Strategy

My answer: Start doing the things you've always wanted to do, even though you might fail at them.

The gym example applies here too. For years, I avoided the intimidating section where all the experienced lifters worked out. I was terrified of looking weak or out of place. But here's what I learned: you have to risk failure and head into it face-first.

When I first tried heavier weights, I knew I would fail. I knew I'd have to put the bar down before completing my reps. But that failure taught me more than staying safe ever could.

The Two-Year Test

Here's a powerful reframing technique: When you're deciding whether to try something new or take a risk, imagine yourself two years from now.

Ask yourself:

• How will I feel about myself if I try this and give it my best shot?

• How will I feel if I never attempt it at all?

• Which version of future me will I be more proud of?

When I think about starting this podcast two years ago, I was held back by fears about how people would perceive me sharing my emotions and experiences publicly. Now, looking back, I'm incredibly proud that I took the risk and committed to it.

The Commitment Factor

Taking the risk is only half the battle - you also have to stick with it. This means:

• Continuing when it's not working perfectly

• Persisting through the lows as well as celebrating the highs

• Giving yourself a fair shot by committing consistently

• Sticking to the fundamentals even when you want to quit

Creating Rituals Around What Makes You Happy

As we get deeper into the year, this is the perfect time for reflection. Look back at 2024 and identify the moments when you felt most excited, confident, and genuinely happy.

Then ask yourself:

• What was I doing during those peak moments?

• What circumstances created those feelings?

• How can I create more opportunities for these experiences?

• What rituals can I build around the things that genuinely make me feel good?

For me, those moments often happen when I'm:

• Consistently going to the gym and feeling strong

• Having meaningful conversations (like the ones I have on this podcast)

• Writing and reflecting on my experiences

• Connecting with people who inspire me

The Reality of Getting Out of a Funk

Everyone goes through periods where life doesn't feel like their own. You look around wondering why everyone else seems to be having such an amazing time while you're struggling.

The truth: Most people have been exactly where you are. Those highlight reels you see on social media don't show the full picture of anyone's life.

Practical Steps for Reclaiming Your Life

1. Identify what you've always wanted to try but have been too scared to attempt

2. Take the first small step without worrying about the outcome

3. Expect to fail initially and be okay with that

4. Create consistent practices around activities that make you feel good

5. Measure progress over perfection - small improvements compound over time

The Wisdom We All Need to Hear

Sometimes the best advice comes from unexpected places. There's a TikTok creator named Martino who shares wisdom from his 61 years of life experience, and one of his messages perfectly captures what we all need to remember:

You are liked and loved more than you know. Someone in your class or at work really enjoys it when you show up. That childhood friend you lost touch with thinks of you fondly. A stranger whose path you crossed was brightened by your smile.

The takeaway: Stop trying to portray a different version of yourself or building an ego to impress others. Your true nature - just being yourself - is enough.

Moving Forward: Your Action Plan

This Week:

• Reflect on the past year and identify your happiest moments

• Choose one thing you've wanted to try but have been afraid to start

• Take the smallest possible first step toward that thing

This Month:

• Build a consistent practice around one activity that makes you feel good

• Stop comparing your behind-the-scenes to others' highlight reels

• Embrace the privilege of getting older rather than fearing it

This Year:

• Create rituals around the activities and experiences that bring you joy

• Take meaningful risks that align with who you want to become

• Remember that you're enough exactly as you are right now

The Time Paradox of Your Twenties

Here's the paradox we all live with: Time feels like it's moving too fast, but we also feel like we're not progressing quickly enough.

The solution isn't to slow down time or speed up progress. It's to be more intentional about how we spend our days and to create meaningful experiences that we'll be proud of when we look back.

Two years from now, you'll either look back with pride at the risks you took and the growth you achieved, or you'll wish you had started today.

The Bottom Line

Your twenties are a time of incredible privilege - you have the energy to try new things, the freedom to take risks, and the opportunity to discover who you want to become.

The existential crises, the time anxiety, the feeling of being behind - they're all normal parts of this process. What matters is what you do with those feelings.

Instead of being paralyzed by the speed of time or the fear of failure, use them as motivation to start living more intentionally. Take the risks, build the practices, and create the experiences that will make you proud when you look back.

Remember: You are enough right now, exactly as you are. But you also have unlimited potential to grow, learn, and become even more of who you're meant to be.

The question isn't whether you're ready - it's whether you're willing to start.

Feeling overwhelmed by the speed of life or struggling to live for yourself? You're not alone. Listen to new episodes of Guyset every Tuesday on your favorite podcast platform for more real talk about navigating your twenties with intention and confidence. Sign up for the weekly newsletter at guyset.com, email josh@guyset.com with your questions, or connect with us @theguyset on social media.

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See you guys next Tuesday.