#55 - The Most Important Conversation You'll Have Today
Jun 18, 2024
It's men's mental health month so here is the most important conversation you'll have today.
The Most Important Conversation You'll Have Today: A Guy's Guide to Mental Health
Originally featured on the Guyset podcast - your guide to what should be talked about
Why Men's Mental Health Deserves More Than One Month
June is Men's Mental Health Month, but here's the truth: most guys don't even know that. Unlike other awareness campaigns that get widespread attention, men's mental health remains quietly tucked away—much like how we handle our own struggles.
This mirrors exactly how most men deal with their problems. We suppress, push down, and wait for issues to resurface, only to press them down again. Sound familiar? If you're reading this, you probably recognize this pattern in yourself or the men around you.
The Real Problem: How We're Raised vs. How We Need to Heal
For decades, society has taught men that dealing with emotions isn't masculine. We're raised to believe that processing feelings, talking to friends about struggles, or seeking therapy isn't "the way guys handle things." This outdated mindset has created a generation of men who barely discuss what's bothering them.
While the conversation around men's mental health has evolved over the past 5-10 years—with therapy becoming more normalized and mental health discussions more open—it's still not a comfortable topic for most men. And honestly? It may never be completely comfortable. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to normalize it.
The Most Important Conversation: The One Between Your Ears
Every day, you have countless conversations—with coworkers, friends, family, and partners. But the most crucial conversation happens entirely in your head: how you talk to yourself.
This internal dialogue affects everything: your relationships, work performance, creativity, passion, and energy. The way you speak to yourself directly impacts how you see the world and everyone in it.
How You Talk to Yourself Shapes Everything
Listen to your internal voice today. Don't judge it immediately, but pay attention to the tone and content. Ask yourself:
Why am I thinking this way?
What's driving these thoughts?
Is this something I can address?
Do I need to talk to someone about this?
The Two Paths: Negative vs. Growth Mindset
The Negative Path: "I'm dumb. I'm bad at my job. I'm unlovable. My friends don't think I'm funny. I'll never find a better job."
This internal criticism creates a downward spiral where you believe you're incapable, unworthy, and destined for unhappiness.
The Growth Path: "I'll get that interview—it may take time, but I have what it takes. I'll find someone who matches my energy; I'm on my own timeline. Sure, I had that awkward moment, but overall, the night was great."
Notice the difference? The same situations, viewed through a lens of self-compassion and growth, create entirely different outcomes.
Breaking Free from Others' Opinions
One of the biggest mental health challenges men face is being guided by fear—specifically, fear of what others think. When your internal conversation becomes "If I do this, they'll think that" or "I better not say this because they might judge me," you've stopped following your authentic path.
Here's the key insight: It doesn't get easier to stop caring what people think. You just get stronger at it.
You learn to recognize when fear is driving your decisions. You remember how it felt when you let others' potential opinions change your actions. You develop the strength to choose authenticity over approval.
Building Your Mental Health Toolkit
Every man needs a set of tools for when life gets tough—when you're feeling depressed, anxious, alone, or uncertain about the future. These tools look different for everyone:
Writing/Journaling: Getting thoughts out of your head and onto paper
Physical activity: Going for walks, hitting the gym, or playing sports
Talking to someone: Whether it's a partner, friend, family member, or therapist
Creative outlets: Music, art, building something with your hands
Mindfulness practices: Meditation, breathing exercises, or quiet reflection
The key is experimenting to find what works for you. You won't know until you try different approaches.
It's Okay to Not Be Okay
Here's what every man needs to hear: You're allowed to feel bad. You're allowed to be anxious, depressed, or struggling. Being a man in your teens, twenties, or thirties doesn't make these feelings weird or wrong.
What you're not allowed to do is stay stuck in that place. You have to figure out what works for you and how to move from a negative mindset to a positive one.
The Reality Check: You're Not Alone
Many men think they're the only ones dealing with mental health challenges because we don't talk about this stuff openly. The truth is, most guys struggle with anxiety, depression, self-doubt, and negative self-talk. We just suffer in silence.
That silence needs to end.
Taking Action: Your Next Steps
Check in with yourself today: How are you talking to yourself right now?
Identify your support person: Who can you turn to when you're not feeling like yourself?
Experiment with coping tools: Try journaling, exercise, creative activities, or conversation
Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness you'd show a good friend
Remember it's a process: Building positive mental health habits takes time and persistence
The Bottom Line
The conversation between your ears—how you talk to yourself—shapes how you think about yourself and feel about yourself. If that conversation is negative, everything else becomes negative too.
But here's the hope: It doesn't have to stay negative. With daily effort, persistence, and the right tools, you can change that internal dialogue. You can develop a growth mindset that serves you instead of sabotaging you.
Mental health isn't just a June conversation—it's an everyday necessity. And the sooner we normalize these discussions among men, the stronger we all become.
Ready to dive deeper into topics that matter? Listen to Guyset podcast for honest conversations about what should be talked about. Have questions or mental health resources to share? Reach out at josh@guyset.com or find us on social @theguyset.
Thank you for listening! Give this episode 5 stars, subscribe, leave a review and let me know what you think!
Follow Guyset here:
https://www.instagram.com/theguyset/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1FF1Et_x4dnGoa-eyv4sXg
https://www.reddit.com/r/guyset/
Email: josh@guyset.com
Website: Guyset.com
Ask Guyset: https://forms.gle/qLrRqQxrZKwcToYk6
MONTHLY NEWSLETTER: https://forms.gle/aaP1fJqRpVqGgBVX7
See you next Tuesday!
