#49 - April Fives (I realize it's may my bad)
May 7, 2024
Monthly Self-Improvement: The 5-Category Reflection Method That Actually Works
How tracking what you tried, learned, and watched can unlock better personal growth than any resolution
Most people hate New Year's resolutions because they're too vague, too ambitious, and too distant from daily reality. But what if there was a better way to track personal growth—one that's more honest, more actionable, and actually enjoyable?
Enter the "Monthly Fives" method: a simple framework for reflecting on your month through five specific categories. It's not about perfection or massive transformations. It's about awareness, progress, and building momentum in small, sustainable ways.
Here's how it works and why it might be the self-improvement approach you've been looking for.
The 5-Category Framework
The Monthly Fives covers:
Something I Tried - New experiences or activities you tested
Something I'm Working On - Ongoing personal challenges or growth areas
Something I Learned - Insights about yourself, life, or how you operate
Something I Watched - Content that impacted you or stuck with you
Something I Will Do - Commitments for the upcoming month
Why this works: It's specific enough to be actionable but broad enough to capture different aspects of personal growth.
Real Examples: April's Monthly Fives
Something I Tried: HIIT Workouts
The experiment: High-intensity interval training once a week for four weeks.
The reality: "The first one I did, I felt like I was going to faint, throw up, and die. But I decided to give it one more try because I know that with time, everything gets easier."
The insight: The second workout still felt brutal, but it "boosted my energy and made my day better" instead of draining it.
Why this matters: Most people quit new things after one bad experience. The "give it 2-3 tries" rule is crucial for actually discovering what works for you.
Something I'm Working On: The "What Could Have Been" Trap
The problem: Getting overwhelmed and angry about missed opportunities from the past.
The pattern: "If I had done that last month, the progress I could have made... I get so mad and annoyed at myself for that."
The reframe: "What action can I take today so that I won't feel that way tomorrow?"
The mindset shift: Focus on what you can control now rather than dwelling on missed chances.
Something I Learned: Process vs. Progress
The realization: "I easily let process get in the way of progress."
How this shows up: Getting overwhelmed by all the steps required to achieve something (updating resume, finding companies, writing cover letters) instead of just starting with one simple action.
The solution: Pick specific accountability days instead of trying to make progress every single day. "Monday, Wednesday, and Friday will be my progress markers."
Something I Watched: Content That Actually Impacted You
The picks: Tom Brady's roast (specifically Tom Hinchcliffe's set) and "Baby Reindeer" on Netflix.
Why track this: Most people consume content mindlessly. Noting what actually stuck with you helps you understand what resonates and why.
The insight: Great content often comes from people who "take full advantage" of their moment and "leave no stone unturned."
Something I Will Do: Concrete Next Steps
The commitment: Continue HIIT workouts twice a week and publish blog posts three times a week.
Why this works: It's specific, time-bound, and builds on what you've already learned about yourself.
Why Monthly Reflection Beats Daily Tracking
The Problems with Daily Habits:
Too granular - Easy to get discouraged by missing single days
Creates pressure - Makes every day feel like a test
Ignores natural rhythms - Some weeks are just harder than others
The Benefits of Monthly Check-ins:
Big enough timeline to see actual patterns
Small enough scope to remember specific details
Natural reflection points that don't feel forced
Room for real life interruptions and imperfection
How to Implement Your Own Monthly Fives
At the End of Each Month:
1. Something I Tried
Ask yourself:
What new activity, habit, or experience did I test?
What was my initial reaction vs. how I felt after giving it multiple attempts?
Would I recommend this to someone else in my situation?
2. Something I'm Working On
Ask yourself:
What personal challenge or growth area am I actively addressing?
What patterns am I noticing about myself?
How am I approaching this differently than before?
3. Something I Learned
Ask yourself:
What insight about myself surprised me this month?
What assumption about how I operate turned out to be wrong?
What mental trap do I keep falling into?
4. Something I Watched
Ask yourself:
What content actually stuck with me beyond the initial viewing?
What did I enjoy and why?
How did this change my perspective or mood?
5. Something I Will Do
Ask yourself:
Based on what I learned, what's one specific thing I want to try next month?
How can I build on what worked this month?
What's realistic given my current life situation?
The Psychology Behind Why This Works
Pattern Recognition Without Pressure
Monthly reflection helps you spot recurring themes in your behavior without the day-to-day pressure of habit tracking. You start noticing what consistently drains your energy vs. what consistently boosts it.
The "Good Enough" Principle
Perfect consistency isn't the goal—awareness is. Even if you only do something twice in a month, you're gathering valuable data about what works in your real life, not just in ideal conditions.
Natural Accountability
Having to write down what you tried forces you to actually try things. Knowing you'll reflect on it at month's end creates gentle accountability without daily pressure.
Progress Over Perfection
Small experiments compound over time. What starts as "trying HIIT once a week" becomes "doing HIIT twice a week" becomes a genuine part of your fitness routine.
Common Obstacles and How to Handle Them
"I Didn't Try Anything New This Month"
That's data too. Maybe you were in a consolidation phase, focusing on existing commitments. Note that and consider if you want more novelty next month.
"I Can't Think of What I Learned"
Start smaller: Did you learn anything about your sleep patterns? Your work productivity? What type of social activities drain vs. energize you?
"I Watched Too Much Mindless Stuff"
Include it anyway. What you choose to watch when you're stressed or tired tells you something about what you need in those moments.
"I Set Goals and Didn't Follow Through"
Perfect. That's exactly what you're trying to learn about yourself. What got in the way? What would make it more realistic next month?
The Accountability Day Strategy
Instead of Daily Goals, Try Weekly Anchors:
Pick 2-3 specific days per week as your "progress days" for whatever you're working on.
Why this works:
Realistic expectations - Life happens on other days
Built-in flexibility - Can shift days if needed
Sustainable pressure - Not every day feels like a test
Clear success metrics - Did you hit your progress days?
Example Applications:
Fitness: Monday, Wednesday, Friday gym sessions
Creative projects: Tuesday and Thursday writing sessions
Learning: Weekend study/practice time
Networking: One professional coffee per week
Making It Sustainable
Keep It Simple
Don't overthink the categories. If something doesn't fit perfectly, put it wherever it makes sense. The goal is reflection, not perfect categorization.
Write It Down
Physical or digital doesn't matter, but document it somehow. The act of writing forces you to be specific and creates a record you can reference later.
Share Selectively
Consider sharing with one trusted friend or family member. Having someone who knows your monthly focuses creates natural accountability without pressure.
Review Previous Months
Every few months, look back at your previous Monthly Fives. You'll be surprised by how much you've actually experimented with and learned.
The Bigger Picture: Building Self-Awareness
What You're Really Tracking:
Your actual preferences vs. what you think you should like
What energizes you vs. what drains you
Your natural rhythms and realistic capacity
The gap between intentions and actions
Why This Matters:
Most self-improvement fails because it's based on who you think you should be rather than who you actually are. Monthly reflection helps you build strategies that work with your personality, schedule, and life situation.
Sample Questions for Deeper Reflection
For "Something I Tried":
Was my resistance before trying it accurate?
What made me finally decide to try this?
How did my expectations compare to reality?
For "Something I'm Working On":
Is this still worth my energy and attention?
What's been harder/easier than expected?
How has my approach evolved?
For "Something I Learned":
How can I apply this insight practically?
What other areas of my life does this pattern show up in?
Who else might benefit from knowing this?
For "Something I Watched":
Why did this resonate with me right now?
What was I looking for when I chose to watch this?
How did it change my mood or perspective?
For "Something I Will Do":
What's the smallest version of this I could try?
What would need to be true for this to work?
How will I know if it's working?
The 50-Week Perspective
After doing this for almost a year: "I'm really happy that I stuck with this and am continuing to do it, and I really do believe in it."
The compound effect: Monthly reflection builds self-awareness over time. You start making better decisions because you understand your patterns, preferences, and what actually works in your real life.
The motivation factor: Having a regular practice of noticing progress, even small progress, keeps you motivated during difficult periods.
Your Action Plan
This Month:
Set a monthly reflection date - Last Sunday of the month, first Tuesday, whatever works
Choose your tracking method - Notes app, journal, voice memo
Start paying attention - What are you trying, learning, working on?
Next Month:
Do your first Monthly Fives reflection
Notice what was easy vs. hard to identify
Set one specific commitment based on what you learned
Over Time:
Look for patterns across multiple months
Adjust the categories if needed for your life
Share insights with people who might benefit
The Bottom Line
Monthly reflection isn't about optimization—it's about awareness. It's recognizing that personal growth happens through small experiments, honest self-assessment, and building on what actually works rather than what you think should work.
The magic isn't in the framework itself but in the habit of regularly asking: What did I try? What did I learn? What's next?
Start simple. Pick one category that interests you most and try it for one month. Notice what you discover about yourself when you're paying attention.
Your future self will thank you for the data.
About Guyset
This post is based on an episode from Guyset: A Guy's Guide to What Should Be Talked About - a weekly podcast for guys in their twenties navigating personal growth, career challenges, and life's everyday questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.
Listen and connect:
Email: josh@guyset.com
Instagram, TikTok, YouTube: @theguyset
Website: guyset.com
Ready to try your own Monthly Fives? Share your reflections through the website or slide into the DMs.
I talk about HIIT workouts, getting bogged down by what could have been, and what I’m doing to stop letting process get in the way of progress. I also talk about the Roast of Tom Brady and Baby Reindeer.
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See you next Tuesday for the 50th episode! What!!!
