#47 - Drinking and Sobriety with Brian Buzgo
Apr 23, 2024
Navigating Sobriety in Your 20s: How One Guy Changed His Relationship with Alcohol
Originally shared on the Guyset podcast - a guy's guide to what should be talked about
Why This Conversation Matters
Drinking is at the center of social life for most people in their twenties. Whether it's "let's grab drinks" for a first date, meeting friends at the bar, or weekend parties, alcohol often feels like a non-negotiable part of being social. But what happens when you decide to step away from that culture?
One Guy's Journey: Five Months Sober
Recently, my friend Brian shared his experience of going five months without drinking - a decision that transformed his life in ways he didn't expect. His story offers valuable insights for anyone questioning their relationship with alcohol.
The Breaking Point
Brian's turning point came after waking up at 4 PM on a Sunday, feeling terrible from a late night out. "I looked in the mirror and I'm like, I'm done. Like that's it," he explains. "I don't want to do this anymore."
It wasn't about hitting rock bottom - it was about recognizing a pattern that was holding him back from his goals, particularly while studying for the CPA exam.
The Cold Turkey Approach
Unlike gradual reduction methods, Brian went completely cold turkey. "I just woke up one morning... and just felt terrible because I was out really late. It was like four in the afternoon... I was like, my God, this whole day is shot."
He acknowledges this approach isn't typical and may not work for everyone, but it aligned with his "100% or nothing" personality.
Breaking the Social Stigma
Initial Reactions
The response from friends was predictable: confusion, disbelief, and jokes. "The main reactions that I've gotten have been confusion and disbelief in the beginning," Brian notes. People expected him to give up within a week.
This reaction highlights how normalized drinking culture is in our twenties - when someone steps away, it's seen as temporary or extreme rather than a personal choice.
The Reality of Going Out Sober
Contrary to expectations, Brian found going out more enjoyable without alcohol:
Crystal clear memories: "I'm crystal clear on how the night went. I know exactly what happened."
No next-day anxiety: "You're not going to have that anxiety the next day... You wake up and you can hassle your friends and be like, you want to go get bagels? They're like, dude, it's 9 AM."
More authentic interactions: Without alcohol affecting judgment, he found he could be more genuinely himself.
The Unexpected Benefits
Improved Energy and Productivity
Brian experienced consistent, better energy levels. Combined with good sleep and exercise, he could maintain high performance throughout the week. "You wake up and you're alert and you're ready to go and you don't want to stay in bed."
Weekend Productivity
Instead of losing entire days to hangovers, Brian could study for eight hours on Sundays while his friends were still recovering. "I do more Sunday morning now than I would have all day previously."
Better Sleep Quality
Even a few drinks can destroy sleep quality. Without alcohol, Brian could maintain his strict sleep schedule - bed by 10-10:30 PM, wake up at 6:30 AM - which was crucial for his studying routine.
Dating Without Drinking
The Coffee Date Advantage
Brian found that sober dating actually improved his connections. Coffee dates allowed him to genuinely get to know someone without the "alcohol barrier."
"I feel like it's weird that our first instinct is to grab drinks with somebody on a first date... you are inhibiting your ability to understand what this person's about."
Natural Conversation Flow
When the topic of not drinking came up naturally in conversation, it wasn't the big deal he'd anticipated. Most people respected his choice without making it awkward.
Advice for Those Considering Sobriety
Recognize You Want Change
"The most important first step" is honestly wanting to change. Many people who struggle with alcohol never reach this point of recognition.
Take It One Day at a Time
Don't feel overwhelmed by thinking about permanent change. "Just get through that day. Get through that day. Get through that day."
Have a Support Person
Identify someone you can call day or night if you feel the urge to drink - whether it's family, friends, or a sponsor.
Consider Professional Help
For those with serious concerns about their drinking, Brian recommends considering AA or other support groups, noting their proven effectiveness for many people.
The Bigger Picture: College vs. Post-College Drinking
The transition from college to post-college life makes the drinking question more complex. In college, you could skip class if hungover. In the working world, you can't skip your job.
This shift requires developing sustainable routines and questioning whether weekend drinking habits serve your long-term goals.
Signs It Might Be Time for a Change
While everyone's breaking point is different, some common signs include:
Consistently waking up feeling regretful about the night before
Drinking interfering with sleep patterns and energy levels
Using alcohol to cope with stress or anxiety
Feeling like you can't have fun without drinking
Missing important commitments due to hangovers
Drinking more than you originally intended
Alternative Ways to Socialize
Brian discovered numerous activities that didn't revolve around alcohol:
Golf and outdoor activities
Baseball games and live events
Museums and coffee dates
Comedy clubs (where others can drink if they choose)
Group dinners and casual hangouts
The Freedom of Choice
Perhaps the most powerful aspect of Brian's story is that it demonstrates choice. Sobriety in your twenties isn't about being anti-fun or judgmental of others who drink. It's about making conscious decisions that align with your goals and values.
"I welcome jokes about it... you should joke about everything. I don't think anything should be off limits. So it's like you should have fun with it."
Key Takeaways
Question the default: Just because drinking is normalized doesn't mean it's right for everyone
Your reasons matter: Whether you're drinking to have fun or to cope makes a significant difference
Social life doesn't end: You can still enjoy going out and being social without alcohol
Benefits compound: Better sleep, energy, and productivity create positive cycles
Support is crucial: Having people who understand and support your choice makes the journey easier
It's your timeline: Whether you drink, how much you drink, or whether you stop is entirely your decision
Final Thoughts
Brian's experience shows that stepping away from drinking culture in your twenties is not only possible but can lead to significant improvements in energy, productivity, and overall life satisfaction. While his approach won't work for everyone, his story offers hope and practical advice for those questioning their relationship with alcohol.
Remember: if you're concerned about your drinking habits, reaching out for professional help is always a valid and important option. Your wellbeing matters more than social expectations.
For more honest conversations about the challenges and decisions guys face in their twenties, listen to the Guyset podcast. New episodes drop every Tuesday with practical advice and real talk about what really matters.
If you're struggling with alcohol use, consider these resources:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988
SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-4357
Alcoholics Anonymous: aa.org
Find local support groups and therapists specializing in substance use
