This is the 23rd episode of Guyset and since I'm 23 years old I took time to reflect on 3 of the most important things I've learned at this age. I was going to do 23 things but that's simply too much. While I've learned a lot, these 3 seem to be important lessons I think about consistently in my everyday life. 

Three Hard-Earned Lessons From Turning 23

Turning 23 hits different. You're not fresh out of college anymore, but you're not exactly a "real adult" either. You're somewhere in that weird middle ground where you're supposed to have it together, but honestly? Most days you're just figuring it out as you go.

Recently, I reflected on what I've learned in my 23 years, and three lessons stood out. Not because they're groundbreaking or because I've mastered them (spoiler: I haven't), but because they've fundamentally changed how I approach life.

1. Rejection is a Wheel Turn, Not a Brake

I used to think rejection was the end of the road. A big red stop sign that meant I wasn't good enough, wasn't cut out for whatever I was trying to do.

Then I got rejected from my dream job.

Picture this: Senior year of college, I'm desperately pursuing this entertainment industry position. I'm talking third-round interviews during senior week while my friends are at Hooters (don't ask). I spent an entire day in Ocean City's public library waiting for an interviewer who stood me up, then finally showed up hours later.

The interviews went amazing. I thought it was in the bag.

Graduation day comes around - which was also my birthday - and I'm driving to family dinner when the rejection email hits. I literally teared up in my car. This job felt like everything, and losing it felt like a reflection of my worth.

But here's the thing: that rejection steered me toward the job I have now. The job where I'm actually happy. The job that gave me the flexibility to start this podcast. The rejection wasn't a stop sign - it was a turn in the road that led me exactly where I needed to be.

The lesson? Stop putting your self-worth into acceptance or rejection. You can be disappointed, frustrated, even angry. But when you start equating rejection with your value as a person, you're the problem, not the rejection.

2. Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Theodore Roosevelt said it first, but it took me 23 years to really get it.

It's so easy to look at your friend who just got promoted, or that college acquaintance who seems to go on dates every weekend, or the guy from high school who just ran a marathon and looks incredible. Then you spiral: How are they doing so much better than me? We're the same age. What's wrong with me?

This is what Mark Manson calls "the feedback loop from hell" - you're upset about something, then upset about being upset, then upset about being upset about being upset. It's an endless cycle that serves absolutely no one.

Here's what I've learned: When you catch yourself comparing, ask, "What can I do in my life to get where I want to be?"

Upset someone got promoted? Figure out what you need to do differently at work. Upset someone's dating more? Maybe it's time to be more active on the apps or ask friends to set you up. Upset someone's in better shape? Time to look at your diet and exercise routine.

Comparison without action is just self-torture. Channel that energy into improvement instead.

3. It's Not That Deep

Shoutout to my freshman year roommate Bradley for drilling this into my head, even though it pissed me off at the time.

"It's not that deep" means exactly what it sounds like: it's not that big of a deal. Don't make everything a mountain when it's really just a molehill.

Roommate didn't take out the trash? Just take it out yourself and address it later if it becomes a pattern. Someone said something that rubbed you the wrong way? Sometimes it's better to let it slide than turn it into a whole thing.

This isn't about being a pushover - it's about picking your battles. Learning when something is worth the energy and when it's better to just handle it and move on.

The Real Truth About These Lessons

Here's the thing: I haven't mastered any of these. I still compare myself to others. I still get too worked up about small things. I still take rejection harder than I should sometimes.

But now I recognize when I'm doing it. And that recognition is the first step toward changing it.

These aren't lessons you learn once and you're done. They're ongoing work. The goal isn't perfection - it's awareness and gradual improvement.

At 23, I'm still figuring it out. But at least now I have a better framework for how to approach the inevitable ups and downs. And if you're in your twenties reading this, remember: you don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to keep learning and keep growing.

What lessons have you learned in your twenties? Email them to josh@guyset.com - I'd love to hear from you.

Next week's episode will be the second Guyset Toolkit episode (also known as Ask Me Anything) so please send any and all questions you want me to answer to my DM @theguyset on Instagram or TikTok or my email josh@guyset.com!

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Send in any questions, things you want me to talk about, or things that should be talked about for guys in their 20s to josh@guyset.com  

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See you next Tuesday!