What Looking at Brains Every Day Teaches You About Life

"Everything that you see, every conversation that you have... it's just a piece of mushy, like medium tofu."

That's how Dr. Randy D'Amico, a neurosurgeon at Lenox Hill Hospital, describes your brain. "Such a delicate structure. And that's everything that we do."

When you spend your days literally looking inside people's heads, operating on the organ that controls everything we think and feel, you develop a unique perspective on life. And that perspective might be exactly what you need to hear.

The Great Equalizer

"Life is a gift and none of us are owed anything at all," Dr. D'Amico reflects. "Brain tumors and spine tumors and any sort of cancers, accidents, they don't give a shit who you are. We treat celebrities, we treat homeless people. The same disease affects all humans."

This isn't theoretical for him. It's what he sees every single day.

"It does not give a shit. And time doesn't matter. You know, it doesn't matter that you're young or you're old. Like the world and probability and the universe does not care."

Think about that for a moment. All the things you stress about - your career trajectory, social media likes, what people think of your outfit - none of it matters to biology. Disease, injury, and mortality are completely indifferent to your status, wealth, or Instagram following.

The Million Individual Stories

"That is the great equalizer, right? It's the great reveler of everything. And I think that gives me perspective every day."

But here's what makes Dr. D'Amico's job fascinating rather than depressing: the human response to these equalizing moments.

"Every single patient story... every story is so fascinating to me and I love to watch someone digest what I'm telling them. And then I love to watch their response to it... Like how do they live afterwards? Do they fight? Do they, you know, who do they rely on? How do they handle it?"

He gets to witness something most of us never see: how people respond when everything is stripped away and they're confronted with what actually matters.

"It's one million individual stories and one million individual responses. No two people do everything the same way."

What Your Brain Actually Is

Here's where the science gets mind-blowing:

"Every experience you encounter is completely interpreted, analyzed, fabricated by a big mushy piece of yellow tofu. And it's fucking wild."

Everything you think is objective reality? It's not. It's your brain's interpretation of electrical signals.

"Everything that you see, as objective as it may seem, is subjective. Every experience you encounter is completely interpreted, analyzed, fabricated by" your brain.

"The fact that you can understand the sounds that are coming out of my mouth and they mean something to you, it's just a piece of mushy, like medium tofu."

This should be humbling. All your certainties, your strong opinions, your unshakeable beliefs - they're all the product of three pounds of tissue that "if it was exposed and like there was a strong rainstorm, it would be injured."

The Perspective Shift

So what does this mean for how you live your life?

"I just want my kids to come to the ICU and take a walk around. But I know they're too young to understand what they're looking at, because what they're looking at is mortality, right? They're looking at how easy everything can go away or change in a major way."

Dr. D'Amico wants his kids to see this reality - not to scare them, but to give them perspective on what's actually worth worrying about.

"There's no race, there's no rush, there's no timeline. The only thing you're racing towards is death."

That's not morbid. It's liberating.

Most of the things you stress about daily have no real deadline. Your actual deadline - the only one that truly matters - puts everything else in perspective.

The Stories That Matter

"Your beliefs are based on your experiences and I get to experience every single life that I operate on at the end of their life... if it's cancer, it's not always fortunately, I do other stuff too. Sometimes we actually help, we not sometimes we often help people."

What does he learn from these experiences?

People facing mortality don't regret not working more hours. They don't wish they'd spent more time scrolling social media or worrying about what others thought of them.

"I spoke to 11 patients this morning. I watched that 11 times today, right? And that's just my morning."

Eleven different people confronting serious health issues. Eleven different responses. Eleven different perspectives on what actually matters when everything else is stripped away.

The Fragility Factor

"There's no way that you can do what we do... without gaining some perspective on everything that happens around you and how fragile it all is and how little it all is."

This fragility isn't something to fear - it's something to appreciate.

When you truly understand how delicate and temporary everything is, it changes your priorities. You stop sweating the small stuff because you realize how small most stuff actually is.

The Universe Question

"I've seen things where like, you know, you can look at the universe, those pictures of like every point of light in this picture is a galaxy with a million stars and bullshit. And that can make you feel really tiny and significant."

But here's the flip side:

"And then I've heard the other argument that that actually should make you feel even bigger and stronger because you get this life and you get this opportunity to look at these things. And I don't know which one's right. I think it kind of depends on the weather, probably, or the day."

The perspective can go either way - you can feel insignificant or incredibly special. The choice is yours.

What This Means for Your Daily Life

Stop Racing Against Imaginary Deadlines

"There's no race, there's no rush, there's no timeline."

Most of your stress comes from artificial urgency. Yes, some deadlines matter, but most of the pressure you feel is self-imposed or socially constructed.

Focus on the Stories, Not the Status

Dr. D'Amico is fascinated by individual human responses to challenges, not by status or achievement. The stories that matter are about how people handle adversity, who they rely on, and how they choose to live.

Remember the Fragility

"How fragile it all is and how little it all is."

This isn't depressing - it's perspective. When you remember how fragile everything is, you appreciate what you have instead of constantly wanting more.

Appreciate Your Brain

"Everything that you see, every conversation that you have" is made possible by this incredible organ. The fact that you can read these words, understand them, and form thoughts about them is extraordinary.

The Daily Practice

Dr. D'Amico carries this perspective with him every day. When minor problems arise - a broken fridge, work stress, daily irritations - he has a framework for processing them.

"There's nothing you can't fix... The little irksome things are just part of the story. And it's actually a stoic philosophy thing... what is in the way becomes the way. It just becomes part of the story."

Problems aren't obstacles to your life - they are your life. They're part of your story.

Your Perspective Reset

You don't need to see patients in the ICU to gain this perspective. You can start today:

Ask Better Questions

Instead of "Why is this happening to me?" ask "How do I want to respond to this?"

Remember the Bigger Picture

When something stresses you out, ask: "Will this matter in five years? Will this matter at the end of my life?"

Appreciate the Ordinary

The fact that you can think, feel, love, and experience life is extraordinary. Most of your daily experiences are miracles you've gotten used to.

Focus on Stories, Not Status

What kind of story are you living? How do you respond to challenges? Who do you rely on? These questions matter more than your job title or social media metrics.

The Bottom Line

"If you don't do what we do and gain some perspective on life, you're in it for the wrong reasons."

Dr. D'Amico is talking about medicine, but the principle applies to everything. Whatever you do, wherever you are in life, gaining perspective on what actually matters is essential.

Your brain - that "piece of mushy, like medium tofu" - is creating your entire experience of reality. The stories you tell yourself, the things you worry about, the meaning you find in life - it's all happening in three pounds of tissue that could be injured by a rainstorm.

That should make you humble about your certainties and grateful for your experiences.

Life is fragile, time is limited, and most of what you worry about doesn't actually matter. But the flip side is beautiful: you get to be here, you get to experience this, and you get to choose how you respond to whatever comes your way.

That's the perspective of someone who looks at brains every day. And it might be exactly what you needed to hear.

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