There are days where your brain feels disconnected from your body. You walk into a room and instantly feel small. You talk and hear your voice shake. You overthink how you’re sitting, how you’re standing, or whether people see you the way you want to be seen. Every guy knows that feeling.

So let me answer this right away.

You act more confident by acting like the version of yourself you’re trying to grow into, not the version you’re trying to escape. Confidence is behavior first. The feeling comes later.

I know because I’ve lived both sides of it. I’ve had days where I questioned everything about myself and days where I felt like the best version of me. The difference wasn’t luck. The difference was how I chose to show up.

At one point I said, “Confidence is a 360 degree thing. It’s in the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you move.” It is your posture, your tone, your energy, and the decisions you make in moments where you don’t feel fully ready.

Confidence isn’t something you wait for. It’s something you practice.

Why Confidence Feels Hard

You don’t lack confidence because you’re broken.
You lack confidence because you’re human.

Confidence gets shaky when:

• you feel disconnected from yourself

• something knocked you off your game

• you’re nervous about being judged

• you’re comparing yourself to the wrong people

• you’re in a situation you haven’t experienced before

There was a morning where I said, “Joy couldn’t be present because I was so anxious about everything. Positivity felt so far away.” Moments like that pull you out of yourself. And when you’re out of yourself, confidence is the first thing to disappear.

Confidence drops fast.
But it also comes back fast.

You are never as far from confidence as you think you are.

Acting Confident vs Feeling Confident

Most people want to feel confident before they act confident.
But the truth works the other way around.

Acting confident is what creates the feeling of confidence.

When you behave like the person you want to become, your brain eventually catches up. When you give yourself permission to show up boldly, even when you’re nervous, you build evidence that you can handle more than you think.

I’ve said, “You can wake up and decide to be confident. You can be shy and still be confident. You can be scared and still be confident.”

Confidence is not cocky.
Confidence is not loud.
Confidence is not perfect.

Confidence is presence.
Confidence is self-acceptance.
Confidence is steady energy.

How To Act Confident Even When You Don’t Feel It

These are the things that actually work in real life.

1. Start with your body language

Your body leads your mind.

Straighten your posture.
Relax your shoulders.
Walk with intention.
Breathe slower.

If you look like you belong, you start to feel like you belong.

I once said, “If you carry yourself like you aren’t supposed to be there, people will see it. If you carry yourself like you belong there, people feel that too.”

People pick up your energy before they know anything about you.

2. Slow down your voice

Confident people don’t rush.

They pause.
They take their time.
They speak like their words have weight.

Slowing down your pace makes you sound more grounded and helps your thoughts settle. It’s one of the simplest, most effective confidence tools.

3. Stop trying to be impressive

Trying to impress people makes you look less confident. Being yourself makes you look more confident.

I’ve said, “People like when you are yourself. That’s the part that connects with them.”

Authenticity is confidence.
Performance is insecurity.

If you want more on this, read How To Stop Caring What People Think.

4. Stack small wins

Confidence grows from repetition.

Showing up is a win.
Trying something new is a win.
Talking to someone first is a win.

Most confidence is built quietly.
You rarely notice it happening until you look back and realize you feel different.

If you’re starting from scratch, read How To Build Confidence If You’ve Never Had It.

5. Wear something that feels like you

Clothes change how you move.
How you move changes how people perceive you.
And how people perceive you feeds how you perceive yourself.

I’ve always believed, “When you look like yourself, you feel like yourself. And when you feel like yourself, you act like yourself.”

If you need help with this, read What Should I Wear On A First Date or How To Dress Better Without Spending A Lot.

6. Put yourself in more rooms

Confidence comes from exposure.
The more situations you enter, the more comfortable you become.

I said it clearly once: “You have to go into the room to realize you can be in the room.”

Confidence expands with experience.

7. Remember confidence is not perfection

Confident people still get nervous.
They still mess up.
They still have doubts.

They just don’t let those moments dictate how they show up.

There was a moment where I said, “Even when you don’t feel confident, you can decide how you show up. That part is always in your control.”

Confidence is not the absence of fear.
Confidence is the decision to move anyway.

Why It Feels Personal

Confidence is tied to identity.
How you see yourself.
How you hope others see you.
How you want to show up in the world.

So when confidence drops, it feels like your whole identity drops with it.

But that isn’t real.

Your confidence isn’t determined by your worst moments.
Your confidence is determined by the choices you make after them.

You’re building a new version of yourself.
And every confident action is a brick.

Where You Go From Here

You don’t have to feel confident to act confident.
You just need enough belief to take the next step.
Enough presence to be yourself in the room.
Enough courage to move even when you’re unsure.

Confidence is practice.
Confidence is action.
Confidence is built over time.

If this helped, read How To Stop Overthinking Everything next.

FAQ

How do I act confident when I’m nervous?
Slow your breathing, slow your voice, straighten your posture, and focus on the person in front of you instead of your inner commentary.

How do confident people walk into a room?
They move with intention and steady energy. They make eye contact. They act like they belong there.

How can I look more confident around people?
Keep your head up, shoulders relaxed, chest open, and avoid rushing your speech. Confidence is calm.

Does fake it till you make it really work?
Yes. Acting confident teaches your brain how to feel confident. It’s not faking. It’s practicing.

How long does it take to build confidence?
Confidence grows with repetition. The more situations you show up for, the faster it develops.

Is confidence something you’re born with?
No. Confidence is learned. Anyone can build it.

Episodes Referenced

For deeper insight, listen to Episodes 101 and 56 of the Guyset Podcast, which informed the quotes and advice in this guide.