There is a specific kind of anxiety that hits in your 20s. It is the feeling that everyone else is moving faster than you. Everyone else is ahead. Everyone else is more successful, more confident, more impressive. And you start wondering if you missed something.

I felt that while talking to Jordan Litz, who plays Fiyero in Wicked on Broadway. His story reframed everything I thought I knew about confidence and timing.

Here is what I learned.

You Are Never Actually Behind

The moment that stood out most to me was when Jordan told me:

“I found performing at 26.”

Read that again.
He didn’t grow up doing it.
He didn’t have a plan.
He didn’t have a ten year head start.

He found it at 26.
And I said to him:

“Wicked is your Broadway debut at 37.”

That line is confidence.
Because confidence is not “I am ahead.”
Confidence is “I am not on anyone else’s clock.”

If you feel behind, you are probably comparing your timeline to someone else’s. Jordan reminded me that you do not build confidence from comparison. You build it from progress.

If comparison is taking over, read How To Stop Overthinking Everything next.

Your Confidence Comes From What You Control

During our conversation, Jordan said something that every guy in his 20s needs to hear.

“You can control how hard you work.”

Confidence does not show up first.
Confidence is built from doing the reps.

You do not need to feel confident to take the next step. You just need to take it, and the confidence catches up. That is how you stop feeling behind. You replace comparison with movement.

It Is Normal to Be Scared While You Build Confidence

Jordan didn’t pretend he had it all together. There was a moment where he said:

“I was terrified.”

And instead of hiding it, he turned it into fuel.
He followed it up with:

“You have to be calm even when your heart rate is jacked.”

That is confidence.
Not the absence of fear.
The ability to move through it.

You do not become confident by eliminating fear.
You become confident by proving you can act even when the fear is loud.

You Are Not Competing Against Anyone’s Path

One thing he said that stuck with me was when he talked about the people around him:

“Those guys are superhuman.”

That is how comparison feels.
You look around and assume everyone else is built for this and you are the one who somehow missed the memo.

But Jordan wasn’t calling them superhuman.
He was admitting that comparison makes them look that way.

Confidence comes back the moment you stop measuring your progress against someone else’s highlight reel.

Start With What You Already Know

Reinvention and confidence go hand in hand. Jordan told me:

“You can take the skill set you already have and apply it to something new.”

You are not starting from scratch.
You are starting from experience.

The more you try new things, the more you realize how capable you already are. That is how confidence grows. Not from perfection, but from proof.

Failure Is Not a Reflection of You

Jordan opened up about the moment his first dream ended. It was honest. It was painful. And it felt familiar.

“I was crushed, dude.”

Every guy knows that feeling.
The moment where something falls apart and you assume it means something about your worth.

But the truth is this:
Failure is data, not identity.

Confidence comes from learning how to stand back up, not pretending you never fall.

Perspective Builds Confidence Faster Than Success

Later in our conversation, Jordan told me something that snapped everything into perspective.

“It’s just your career.”

That line sounds simple until you think about it.

Your career is not your identity.
Your timeline is not your worth.
Your pace is not your value.

When you stop giving every moment the power to define you, confidence becomes much easier to access.

Where You Go From Here

Confidence is not built in giant leaps.
It is built in small, consistent actions.
It is built from risk, fear, repetition, and choosing yourself again and again.

You are not behind.
You are building.

If you want your next step, read How Do I Reinvent Myself in My 20s next.

FAQ

Why do I feel behind everyone else?
Because you are comparing different timelines. Confidence goes up the minute you stop measuring yourself against other people.

How do I build confidence if I feel stuck?
Start with one controllable action a day. Momentum builds self trust.

Can I rebuild confidence after failure?
Yes. Failure is the beginning of reinvention, not the end of progress.

Is it normal to be terrified while trying new things?
Absolutely. Fear and confidence grow together.

How long does it take to feel confident again?
Longer than you want, faster than you think. Consistency is what accelerates it.

Episode Referenced

This post was informed entirely by Episode 101 of the Guyset Podcast.