There's so much relationship advice on the internet. Every day, somebody on TikTok, Instagram, or YouTube shares something about love and relationships that thousands of people save, like, and share.

Some of it is great. Some of it sounds great until you actually think about it. And some of it is exactly what you need to hear.

The problem is that we consume so much advice that it's hard to remember any of it. So I went through some of the most popular pieces of relationship advice I could find and picked eight that I thought were worth talking about.

Some I completely agree with. Others need a little more context. But I think there's something here for everybody, whether you're just starting to date somebody or you've been together for years.

You Know You Really Like Someone When You Miss Them

One piece of advice I found was that you know you're in a healthy relationship when you miss the person you're with.

I wouldn't necessarily say you need to miss somebody every second you're apart, but I think there's something important here.

When you're dating someone, especially in the beginning, it can be difficult to figure out exactly how you feel. You might enjoy spending time together, have great dates, and genuinely like them, but still wonder whether there's something more.

One of the simplest questions you can ask yourself is whether you miss them when they're not around.

Do you think about them throughout your day? Are you excited to see them again? Do you wish they were there when something good happens?

I think those feelings tell you a lot. And even years into a relationship, there should still be some excitement about seeing that person after spending time apart.

Of course, enjoying your independence is healthy, too. But there's a difference between enjoying time alone and realizing you don't particularly miss the person you're with.

Would You Want to Be With This Person When You're 60?

Another piece of advice was to ask yourself whether the person you're dating is somebody you want to spend every day with when you're 60 years old.

I understand the sentiment, but I think that's a pretty big question to ask yourself, especially early in a relationship.

If you've been dating somebody for a month, how are you supposed to know what your life together will look like 30 or 40 years from now?

I think asking yourself that question too early puts unnecessary pressure on something that's still developing.

Instead, I'd focus on how somebody makes you feel right now.

Are you happy together? Do they make your life better? Do you feel comfortable being yourself around them?

I think this connects to something I've written about in How To Stop Worrying About the Future and Live in the Present. When you're constantly thinking about what's next, it's easy to overlook what's already good in front of you.

Eventually, when you're considering moving in together, getting engaged, or building a future, that bigger question becomes important.

But don't become so focused on whether somebody is right for your future that you forget to ask whether they're right for your present.

Life Is Already Hard Enough. Don't Choose a Relationship That Makes It Harder.

I really like this advice, but I think it needs an important distinction.

There's a difference between being in a relationship that's going through a difficult period and being in a relationship that consistently makes your life harder.

Every relationship has disagreements. You're combining two people with different backgrounds, personalities, expectations, and experiences. Of course you're going to disagree sometimes.

The goal isn't to find somebody you'll never argue with. It's to find somebody you want to work through those arguments with.

I wrote more about this in How To Bring Up Something That Bothers You Without Starting an Argument, because I think learning how to have difficult conversations without turning them into bigger problems is one of the most important relationship skills.

The American Psychological Association's relationship resources also offer guidance on communication and navigating relationship challenges. I think that's an important reminder that disagreements themselves aren't necessarily the problem. How you handle them matters.

I think about this like building something with bricks. Every difficult conversation can become another brick in the foundation of your relationship if you actually learn something from it.

But if you're constantly rebuilding the same foundation, that's a different situation.

A relationship should add something positive to your life. It shouldn't feel like another problem you're constantly trying to solve.

What Does Your Partner Say About How Much You Love Yourself?

This might be my favorite piece of advice from everything I found.

If somebody told you they could tell how much you love yourself by the partner you've chosen, would that feel like a compliment or an insult?

I think that's such an interesting question because it forces you to look at your relationship from a completely different perspective.

Instead of asking how much you love somebody, you're asking what choosing that person says about how you value yourself.

Are they kind to you? Do they respect you? Are you proud of the person they are? Do they make you feel good about yourself?

I think you'll probably have a pretty immediate reaction to that question.

Maybe it makes you feel even better about your relationship. Or maybe it makes you uncomfortable because there's something you've been trying not to acknowledge.

One question can't tell you everything about a relationship, but it can reveal something worth paying attention to.

Sometimes we get so caught up in how much we love somebody that we forget to ask whether we're receiving the kind of love we deserve.

The Most Important Relationship You'll Ever Have Is With Yourself

I think this is advice that will never stop being relevant.

You're the person you wake up with every morning and go to bed with every night. You're there through every accomplishment, disappointment, mistake, and uncertain moment.

And learning to actually enjoy being that person is incredibly important.

Especially in your twenties, when you're figuring out your career, friendships, relationships, and who you want to become.

There will be periods when you feel incredibly confident and others when you have absolutely no idea what you're doing.

That's normal.

But the more time you spend understanding yourself, the better equipped you become to build a healthy relationship with somebody else.

That doesn't mean you need to have everything figured out before dating someone. One of the best parts of a healthy relationship is being able to tell somebody you're feeling anxious or uncertain without worrying about how they'll react.

You should be able to lean on your partner. But there's a difference between leaning on somebody for support and expecting them to provide all your happiness, confidence, and security.

Those are things you also have to work on yourself.

Choose Life With Yourself First

This builds directly on the last piece of advice.

I think one of the best things you can bring into a relationship is a sense of security in yourself.

When you're comfortable with who you are, you don't need somebody else to constantly reassure you that you're good enough.

You can enjoy being with somebody because you genuinely want to be with them, not because you need the relationship to make you feel valuable.

This is something I explored in How To Like Being Alone. I think learning to enjoy your own company makes it easier to build a relationship because you're choosing somebody who adds to your life, rather than trying to escape being by yourself.

And I think that security can make your partner feel more secure, too.

Of course, everybody experiences insecurity. There will be moments when you're anxious, jealous, uncertain, or questioning yourself.

But when you have a strong foundation in yourself, those moments don't have to define your relationship.

You can recognize what you're feeling, communicate it, and work through it together.

Don't Forget That Loving Somebody Is an Honor

I absolutely love this one.

Think about what a privilege it is to love somebody through the different seasons of their life.

To be the person they call when they get promoted, land their dream job, or have the best day of their life.

But also to be there when things aren't going well. When they're exhausted, disappointed, anxious, or going through something difficult.

I think there's something beautiful about being the person somebody wants to share all of that with.

And sometimes, when you've been together for a long time, it's easy to forget how special that actually is.

You get used to the routines. You get used to spending time together. You get used to having somebody there.

Research discussed by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center in How to Say Thank You to Your Partner suggests that expressing genuine appreciation can help strengthen your connection. I think it's a reminder that appreciating somebody shouldn't stop once you've gotten comfortable together.

Out of billions of people, you've found somebody who wants you to be part of their life in such an important way.

Somebody who trusts you with their happiest moments and their hardest ones.

That's an unbelievable thing.

A relationship isn't just about finding somebody who makes your life better. It's also about having the opportunity to make somebody else's life better.

Sometimes One Person Is Running While the Other Is Walking

The final piece of advice came from Matthew McConaughey, and I thought it was a great one to end on.

He talked about how sometimes one person in a relationship is running while the other is walking. It's okay to be ahead, but you can't get so far ahead that you leave your partner behind.

I think this is especially relevant in your twenties.

Imagine one person just got promoted, received a big raise, and feels like everything is finally coming together.

Meanwhile, their partner is struggling to find a job, dealing with rejection, or feeling completely uncertain about their future.

Those are two very different experiences happening at the same time.

And it's incredibly important that the person who's doing well doesn't forget about the person who's struggling.

You should celebrate your accomplishments, but you should also make sure your partner feels supported and encouraged.

I think this connects to research discussed in Happy Couples Focus on Each Other's Strengths from the Greater Good Science Center. Recognizing what your partner brings to the relationship can help you appreciate each other, even when you're experiencing different challenges.

Because eventually, those roles might reverse.

You're not always going to be moving at exactly the same pace or experiencing the same wins and challenges.

But you should always feel like you're moving through life together.

And Here's The Thing

I think the best relationship advice is the advice that makes you stop and actually think about your own life.

Not every piece of advice is going to apply to every relationship. Some might be incredibly relevant right now, while others might become more meaningful years from now.

But I think there's a common theme running through all of them.

A good relationship should make you feel loved, supported, respected, and excited about the person you're sharing your life with.

It should be something you're proud to be part of, something you want to put effort into, and something that makes both of your lives better.

And I think we sometimes forget just how special it is to find somebody you want to experience life with.

A healthy relationship isn't about finding somebody who makes everything perfect. It's about finding somebody you want to experience all of life's imperfect moments with.

And when you find that, it's worth appreciating.

Frequently Asked Questions About Relationship Advice

How do you know if you're in a healthy relationship?

You should feel respected, supported, comfortable, and happy. You should also be able to communicate openly and work through disagreements together.

Is it normal to have doubts in a relationship?

Yes. Occasional doubts are normal. What matters is whether they're temporary or reflect consistent problems in your relationship.

Should a relationship feel easy?

For the most part, a healthy relationship should feel positive and supportive. But disagreements and difficult periods are normal, too.

How important is loving yourself before entering a relationship?

Having a healthy relationship with yourself can help you feel more secure with somebody else, but you don't need to have everything figured out before dating.

How do you know if someone is the right person for you?

Pay attention to how they treat you, how they make you feel, whether your values align, and how you handle difficult moments together.

What's the best relationship advice for people in their twenties?

Build a strong relationship with yourself, communicate openly, and choose somebody who supports your growth rather than making you feel like you're falling behind.