Pressure shows up in your life long before you feel ready for it.

It hits in the moments that feel too big, too loud, too fast.
The job interview where your voice shakes.
The date you care about more than you expected.
The night before a presentation when your brain won’t shut up.
The second you realize the version of you that exists in your head needs to finally show up in real life.

Everyone tells you pressure builds character. No one tells you what to do with it when your heart is pounding and your mind is sprinting.

That’s why I wanted to unpack this question through the lens of someone who feels pressure at a level most of us will never touch.

In Episode 121, professional tennis player Zach Svajda walked me through what it feels like to walk onto Arthur Ashe Stadium and face Novak Djokovic. The lights. The noise. The cameras. The weight of every person watching you.

And the wildest part is how normal pressure becomes when you train your mind to handle it.

So here’s the answer every guy is actually looking for:

You deal with pressure by controlling the only three things you ever truly have access to: your preparation, your self-talk, and your next decision. You cannot control outcomes, nerves, timing, or who’s watching. But you can control your pace, your breath, your posture, your routines, and the voice you choose in the moment.

If pressure usually sends you straight into your head, How To Stop Overthinking Everything breaks down why that happens and how to interrupt it.

Pressure Starts Before the Moment Starts

Most people think pressure shows up when the moment hits.

It doesn’t.

It starts the night before.
The anticipation.
The silence when the adrenaline fades.
The awareness that tomorrow could change something.

Zach described exactly what his mind felt like leading up to playing Novak, and the most surprising part was how human it sounded.

“I try not to overthink it too much. I had my friends fly in and I tried to get my mind off it and still believe in my game.”

Pressure isn’t defeated by force. It’s defeated by familiarity.

You lower the stakes by keeping your routines the same, surrounding yourself with people who ground you, and refusing to let the moment pull you out of rhythm.

Your brain wants to make the moment bigger.
Your job is to make it normal.

According to Psychology Today, pressure spikes when the brain perceives uncertainty, not difficulty. Familiar routines reduce that threat response almost immediately.

Pressure Has To Be Met With Preparation

When Zach walked into Ashe on match day, he didn’t rely on hope. He relied on structure.

He woke up early.
He ate breakfast.
He went to the site.
He warmed up.
He practiced.
He stretched.
He followed the same rhythm he always did.

Here’s how he described it:

“I woke up around six or six thirty. I got breakfast with my coach and then we went over to the site. I started my warm up, practiced on Ashe, ate again, warmed up in the gym, and then went on at 11:30.”

Pressure makes you feel out of control.
Preparation gives you control back.

A routine isn’t superstition. It’s a way to eliminate unnecessary decisions so your mind can focus on execution.

This is also why pressure and confidence are tied together. If that’s something you’re struggling with, How Do I Build Confidence When I Feel Behind connects the two directly.

Your Self-Talk Determines Everything

Every guy knows the spiral.

The what if I mess this up.
The tight chest.
The negative prediction loop.

The difference between people who rise under pressure and people who fold isn’t talent. It’s language.

Zach told me exactly what he says to himself during the biggest points of his life:

“I say short things like forget about it, move on to the next point, keep swinging out. A lot of it is more positive. I never do negative in my head.”

That’s not motivation. That’s discipline.

Effective self-talk is:

Short
Simple
Forward-moving
Neutral or positive

Not hype. Not denial. Just a clean redirect to the next action.

Research from Harvard Business Review shows that athletes and executives who use brief, neutral self-instructions perform significantly better under stress than those who rely on emotional self-talk.

When Pressure Spikes, Slow the Moment Down

Pressure speeds everything up.

Your thoughts race.
Your body tightens.
You feel like you’re falling behind.

This is where physical control matters.

Zach resets himself with something simple:

“If I’m struggling a bit, I will go to the towel and regroup.”

Your version might be:

One deep breath
Relaxing your shoulders
Pausing before you speak
Grounding your feet

High-pressure moments require a physical pause. Your body anchors your mind.

If pressure shows up most for you in dating or communication, How Do I Know If She Likes Me and How Fast Should I Text Back both help ground emotional reactions before they spiral.

Why Pressure Feels So Big in Your Twenties

Most pressure between 18 and 30 comes from believing every moment is make-or-break.

One date decides everything.
One mistake ruins momentum.
One opportunity defines your future.

Then Zach said this, after playing Novak Djokovic:

“At the end of the day, I try to look at it like it is just a tennis match. There are so many more important things in your life.”

That’s perspective.

Pressure is real.
The story you attach to it is optional.

Detach From the Outcome

Top performers aren’t the ones who want it most. They’re the ones who stay present long enough to execute.

Zach explained it like this:

“You cannot play every point the same. Some points are far more important. You feel something in your energy rise.”

Pressure increases with stakes. The goal isn’t to pretend you don’t feel it. The goal is to keep your decisions clean anyway.

Detach from winning. Focus on the next action. The moment shrinks.

The Most Important Lesson From Zach

This line stuck with me more than anything else:

“Anything can happen. If I play well, I feel like I could beat whoever on any given day.”

That’s not arrogance. That’s earned belief.

Pressure dissolves when you stop assuming the moment is too big for you and start believing you belong in it.

Anything can happen.

FAQ: How To Deal With Pressure

How do I calm down before something big?
Slow your body first. Breath and pace regulate your mind. Keep routines familiar.

What should I do when my brain spirals?
Interrupt it with a short phrase and a physical reset. Then refocus on the next action.

How do I handle pressure in dating or work?
Treat it like a big point. Stay present and execute one small step at a time.

Why do I choke in important moments?
Because you attach too much meaning to one outcome. Detach from results and focus on execution.

How do I build confidence under pressure?
Repetition, routines, and disciplined self-talk. Confidence is trained, not imagined.