How To Start A Conversation After Getting Her Number
Not sure what to text first after getting her number? This guide gives you the simplest, most confident way to start the conversation without overthinking it.
By
Josh Felgoise
Dec 8, 2025
Superbad
Starting the conversation after getting someone’s number makes every guy overthink. You stare at the text box wondering what to say, how to say it, and whether it sounds like too much or too little.
So let’s get into it.
You start the conversation simply. Not with a speech. Not with a pickup line. Not with overthinking. The best first text is honest, casual, and exactly who you are. You are not trying to perform. You are trying to connect.
If you want to get your confidence right before texting her, How Do I Act More Confident is worth reading before you keep going.
The First Text Is Not a Test
Most guys treat the first text like it determines everything.
It doesn’t.
What matters is tone, clarity, and ease. Not cleverness. Not perfection.
One line from the episode sums this up perfectly:
“I think it’s really simple. I think it’s a one line answer.”
That’s the mindset you want.
Short. Clean. Direct.
This aligns with what communication psychologists at Psychology Today often point out: clarity and warmth matter far more than cleverness in early connection.
A Real Example That Actually Works
The simplest example from the episode is still the best one:
“Hey, it’s Josh from down the hatch.”
That’s it.
You don’t need to be funny.
You don’t need to impress.
You don’t need to prove anything.
You’re just opening the door.
Why Simple Always Works
Simple works because it signals confidence.
Simple works because it feels relaxed.
Simple works because it doesn’t try to control the outcome.
Overcomplicating the first text makes you sound anxious.
Keeping it simple makes you sound grounded.
And grounded is attractive.
This mirrors what researchers at Verywell Mind describe as low-pressure initiation, which reduces anxiety on both sides of a new interaction.
The Only Formula You Actually Need
There’s a structure here, but it’s loose on purpose.
Say your name
It removes confusion.Say where you met
It creates context.Add a natural opener
Only if it feels like you.
Examples that work:
“Hey, it’s Josh from the event last night.”
“Hey, it’s Josh from the gym.”
“Hey, it’s Josh from the birthday party.”
Short. Clear. Confident.
If you tend to overinvest early, How Do I Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Put In Effort connects naturally with this mindset.
How to Stop Overthinking Before You Hit Send
You don’t need the perfect line.
You need a real one.
Episode 129 puts it perfectly:
“We can really drive ourselves crazy like that. Get out of your head and into the world.”
Send the message.
Start the conversation.
Stop trying to engineer the outcome.
This idea is also supported by behavioral research discussed by The Gottman Institute, where authenticity consistently outperforms performance in early-stage connection.
Where You Go From Here
Starting a conversation is not about impressing someone. It’s about showing up as yourself and letting the connection build naturally.
Keep it simple.
Keep it confident.
Let the rest unfold.
If you want the next step, read How Do I Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Put In Effort next.
FAQ
What should I text first?
Your name, where you met, and something natural.
Should I wait before texting?
No. Text when you want to.
Should I try to be funny?
Only if it’s genuinely you.
What if she doesn’t reply?
That’s clarity, not rejection.
Should I send a follow-up?
No. One message is enough.
