Starting the conversation after getting someone’s number makes every guy overthink. You stare at the text box wondering what to say, how to say it, and whether it sounds like too much or too little.

So let's get into it:

You start the conversation simply. Not with a speech, not with a pickup line, not with overthinking. The best first text is honest, casual, and exactly who you are. You are not trying to perform. You are trying to connect.

If you want to get your confidence right before texting her, reading How Do I Act More Confident may help before you keep going.

The first text is not a test

Most guys think the first text determines everything.
It does not.

What matters is tone, clarity, and simplicity.

“I think it’s really simple. I think it’s a one line answer.”

That is exactly how you should think about your first text.
Short. Clean. Direct.

A perfect real example

The simplest example from the episode is:

“Hey, it’s Josh from down the hatch.”

You do not have to be funny.
You do not have to be clever.
You do not have to craft a masterpiece.

You just need to remind her who you are and open the door for a natural conversation.

Why simple works

Simple works because it shows confidence.
Simple works because it shows ease.
Simple works because it does not try too hard.

Overcomplicating the first text makes you sound anxious.
Keeping it simple makes you sound grounded.

The formula you should use

1. Say your name

It removes any confusion.

2. Say where you met

It builds context.

3. Add a light opener

Something natural to you.

Examples:

“Hey, it’s Josh from the event last night.”
“Hey, it’s Josh from the gym.”
“Hey, it’s Josh from the birthday party.”

Short. Clear. Confident.

How to avoid overthinking your first text

You do not need the perfect line.
You need a real line.

As Episode 129 reminds you:

“We can really drive ourselves crazy like that. Get out of your head and into the world.”

Send the message.
Start the conversation.
Stop trying to engineer the outcome.

Pull Quotes

“I think it’s really simple. I think it’s a one line answer.”
“Hey, it’s Josh from down the hatch.”
“We can really drive ourselves crazy like that. Get out of your head and into the world.”

Where You Go From Here

Starting a conversation is not about impressing someone. It is about showing up as yourself. Keep it simple, keep it confident, and let the connection build naturally.

If you want the next step, read How Do I Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Put In Effort next.

FAQ

What do I text first
Something simple. Your name, where you met, and a light opener.

Should I wait to text
No. Text when you want to.

Should I be funny
Not if it feels forced.

What if she does not reply
That is clarity, not rejection.

Should I send a follow up
No. One message is enough.

Episodes Referenced

For deeper insight, listen to Episode 129 of the Guyset Podcast.