Have you ever had one negative thought that you just couldn't seem to get out of your head?

Maybe somebody said something that bothered you. Maybe you made a mistake at work, got rejected by someone you liked, or something didn't work out the way you hoped. Whatever happened, you can't stop thinking about it.

You replay the situation, question what you could have done differently, and start imagining everything it might mean. Then, just when you think you've moved on, the thought comes back, and you find yourself going through it all over again.

I think one of the most exhausting parts of negative thinking is how much time and energy it takes away from everything else. You could be having a perfectly good day, but one thought enters your mind, and suddenly your entire mood changes.

But here's something I want you to understand: Just because a thought enters your mind doesn't mean you have to give it your attention for the rest of the day.

You can't always control which thoughts show up, but you can learn how to respond to them differently, recognize when you're caught in an unproductive cycle, and shift your attention back to the things that matter.

Understand Why Negative Thoughts Keep Coming Back

Having negative thoughts is normal. Everybody experiences insecurity, worry, regret, and self-doubt. The problem isn't necessarily that these thoughts exist. It's what happens when we start giving them more attention than they deserve.

Let's say you made a mistake at work. You recognize what happened, figure out how to fix it, and learn something for next time. That's productive. But if you spend the next three days replaying the mistake, questioning whether you're good at your job, and worrying about your future, you're no longer solving the original problem.

Psychologists call this pattern rumination, which involves repeatedly dwelling on distressing thoughts without necessarily moving toward a solution.

In 10 Simple Ways to Break Free of Rumination, Psychology Today discusses how repetitive thinking can keep people focused on negative experiences and offers strategies for interrupting those patterns.

There's a difference between thinking about something to understand it and thinking about something because you can't seem to stop. Recognizing that difference is an important first step.

The Blender: Stop Repeating the Same Negative Thought Cycle

In my Guyset Podcast episode, How to Get Back Up Again, I described negative thinking using an analogy that I think explains this feeling particularly well.

Imagine your mind is a blender.

Every time something goes wrong, you add another ingredient. Maybe it's a rejection, an uncomfortable conversation, a mistake, or something somebody said that made you feel bad about yourself.

Eventually, the blender fills with frustrations, disappointments, insecurities, and worries. Then you press blend.

Everything starts spinning together until you're no longer thinking about one problem. You're thinking about everything that's gone wrong, everything that could go wrong, and every reason you might not be where you want to be.

"Don't forget to pour it out."

You don't have to keep every negative thought sitting in that blender. You can recognize when you're repeatedly thinking about something that isn't helping you and redirect your attention toward something else.

That doesn't mean ignoring real problems or suppressing your feelings. Some things genuinely require attention. But not every thought needs to be revisited over and over again.

The goal isn't to eliminate negative thoughts. It's to stop letting them consume all your attention.

The Scissors Exercise: Interrupt an Unproductive Thought

The next exercise I shared in the episode is something I call the scissors.

The next time you catch yourself replaying something negative, imagine taking a pair of scissors and cutting the thought. You can even physically make a cutting motion with your fingers.

Maybe you're thinking about an awkward conversation from yesterday. You've already replayed it a dozen times, and continuing to think about it isn't going to change what happened.

That's when you use the scissors.

Recognize the thought, make the cutting motion, and intentionally redirect your attention toward something else. You might return to what you were working on, start a conversation, or go for a walk.

The point isn't to force the thought away forever. It's to recognize when you're stuck in an unproductive pattern and remind yourself that you can shift your attention.

If the thought comes back, that's okay. You can acknowledge it again without feeling obligated to spend another hour thinking about it.

The Passing-Cloud Technique: Let Thoughts Come and Go

The third exercise is one of my favorites, and it approaches negative thinking a little differently.

Instead of imagining yourself cutting a thought, imagine placing it on a cloud.

Picture yourself looking up at the sky, watching clouds slowly move overhead. Each one carries something that's been bothering you, whether it's an embarrassing moment, a rejection, or a worry about your future.

You can see those thoughts, but you don't have to chase them, pull them back, or figure everything out right now. You can simply watch them move across the sky.

I like this exercise because it reminds you that you can acknowledge a thought without becoming completely absorbed by it.

This idea is related to mindfulness and a psychological skill called cognitive defusion, which involves learning to observe thoughts rather than automatically treating them as facts.

The American Psychological Association discusses the benefits of mindfulness in Mindfulness Meditation: A Research-Proven Way to Reduce Stress, including how mindfulness practices can help people develop greater awareness of their thoughts and emotions.

The goal isn't to make difficult thoughts disappear on command. It's to practice allowing them to exist without letting them control your entire day.

Stop Turning One Negative Thought Into Ten

Something else I talked about in the episode is how quickly one negative experience can become a collection of negative thoughts about everything else.

Maybe someone you were dating stopped responding. At first, you're disappointed. But then you start questioning whether you're attractive enough, whether you're good at dating, and whether you're ever going to find someone.

Before you know it, one rejection has turned into a judgment about your entire future.

"Something is allowed to suck in isolation. That doesn't have to mean that like everything sucks."

Something can go wrong without everything being wrong. You can make a mistake without being a failure, experience rejection without being unworthy of a relationship, and have a difficult day without deciding your entire life is going badly.

In How to Stop Letting Fear Hold You Back, I explore this idea through an analogy involving bricks. Every disappointment is another brick, but those bricks don't have to stack on top of one another until they become impossible to overcome.

You can separate your problems, look at them individually, and deal with them one at a time.

Challenge the Thoughts That Aren't Actually True

Negative thoughts can be convincing because we often treat them as facts without questioning them.

You think your boss is disappointed in you, so you assume you're bad at your job. Someone doesn't respond to your text, so you assume they don't like you. You feel behind in life, so you assume everybody else is doing better.

But what evidence do you actually have?

The NHS explains this approach in Reframing Unhelpful Thoughts, which encourages people to recognize unhelpful thinking patterns and consider more balanced interpretations.

Ask yourself what you actually know, what you're assuming, and whether there's another reasonable explanation. You don't have to replace every negative thought with an unrealistically positive one. The goal is to develop a more accurate perspective.

If you're constantly questioning yourself and your decisions, How To Overcome Analysis Paralysis explores how excessive thinking can make it harder to move forward.

Get Out of Your Head and Back Into Your Life

One of the easiest ways to stay trapped in negative thinking is to spend all your time sitting in the same place, replaying the same thoughts.

That's why I think getting your body moving can be so helpful.

Go outside. Take a walk. Get some fresh air. Go to the gym. Lift weights. Do something that gives your attention somewhere else to go.

Personally, I've found that lifting weights can be particularly helpful after a frustrating day. Instead of replaying conversations or thinking about everything that went wrong, I'm concentrating on the exercise in front of me.

You don't need an incredible workout. Sometimes the benefit is simply getting out of your own head for a little while.

And if you've been feeling particularly stuck or unlike yourself, How To Wrestle Your Inner Critic with Andre Hardy explores additional ways to reconnect with the things you enjoy.

And Here's The Thing

Your mind is going to have thoughts you don't particularly like. You're going to worry about things, remember embarrassing moments, question decisions, and occasionally imagine outcomes that make you uncomfortable.

But having a negative thought doesn't mean you have to spend the rest of your day thinking about it.

You can recognize when you're stuck in the blender and remind yourself to pour it out. You can use the scissors exercise to interrupt an unproductive thought pattern, or imagine placing a thought on a cloud and allowing it to pass.

You can question whether what you're thinking is actually true, separate one disappointing experience from everything else in your life, and do something that gets you back into the world instead of spending another hour stuck in your head.

And when those things aren't enough, you can talk to someone you trust or seek professional support.

"You're not alone in any of this."

Sometimes progress is simply noticing that you're spiraling a little sooner than you did last time. Sometimes it's choosing to go for a walk instead of replaying the same conversation. And sometimes it's allowing a thought to exist without giving it the power to change your entire day.

You don't have to believe every thought you think, and you don't have to follow every thought that enters your mind.

You have a whole life happening outside of your head. Don't forget to go live it.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you stop negative thoughts from taking over your mind?

Recognize when you're overthinking, question your assumptions, and shift your attention toward something productive. Exercise, mindfulness, or talking to someone can also help.

Why do I keep having negative thoughts even when nothing is wrong?

Stress, anxiety, poor sleep, or past experiences can trigger negative thoughts, even when nothing is actually wrong. Just because you think something doesn't mean it's true.

How do I stop replaying negative thoughts over and over?

Recognize when you're repeating the same thoughts without making progress. Try mindfulness, exercise, or an activity that helps shift your focus.

How do you stop believing every negative thought you have?

Remember that thoughts aren't facts. Ask yourself what evidence supports the thought and whether there's another way to look at the situation.

Can you train your brain to think less negatively?

Yes. Practicing mindfulness, challenging negative assumptions, and developing healthier thinking habits can help you respond differently to negative thoughts over time.