There are going to be moments in your life when you feel completely off track.

Maybe something happened at work that knocked your confidence. Maybe you got rejected by someone you really liked. Maybe you didn't get the job, the opportunity, or the outcome you were hoping for. Or maybe nothing particularly bad happened, but you've been feeling down, unmotivated, or unlike yourself, and you can't quite figure out why.

Whatever it is, you know how you want to feel. You remember what it was like to feel good about yourself, excited about your life, and confident about where you're going. You just can't seem to find your way back there.

I think one of the hardest parts of being in a moment like this is how permanent it can feel. When you're stuck in a bad mood or going through a difficult period, it's easy to convince yourself that this is just how things are going to be now.

But I want you to remember something: Where you are right now doesn't have to be where you stay.

You can have a bad day without having a bad life. You can experience rejection without being a failure. You can feel lost without actually losing your way.

And while you can't control everything that happens to you, there are things you can do to start feeling better, regain your footing, and move forward again.

That's what getting back up is really about.

First, Remember That You're Not the Only One Feeling This Way

When you're going through something difficult, it can feel like everybody else is doing just fine.

You open Instagram and see your friends traveling, going out, getting promoted, starting relationships, and seemingly enjoying every second of their lives. Meanwhile, you're sitting there wondering why you can't seem to shake whatever has been bothering you.

But you're only seeing what other people are choosing to show you.

Everybody experiences disappointment, insecurity, rejection, loneliness, and periods when they don't feel like themselves. Guys experience these emotions, too, even if we're not always particularly good at talking about them.

Sometimes just knowing that other people have experienced what you're experiencing can make the situation feel a little less isolating.

You don't need to have everything figured out. You don't need to pretend you're feeling great when you're not. And you certainly don't need to interpret a difficult period as evidence that something is wrong with you.

If you're constantly measuring your life against what everybody else appears to be experiencing, I wrote more about this in How To Stop Comparing Yourself to Everyone Else.

The first part of getting back up is recognizing that being down sometimes is part of being a person. It doesn't mean you're going to stay there.

Get Yourself Moving, Even When You Don't Feel Like It

One of the first things I recommend when you're feeling stuck is also one of the simplest: physically get yourself out of wherever you are.

Go outside. Take a walk. Drink some water. Get some fresh air. Go to the gym. Lift weights. Run. Do something that gets your body moving and changes your environment.

When we're in a funk, I think we have a tendency to stay exactly where we are. We sit on the couch, lie in bed, scroll on our phones, and spend hours thinking about whatever is bothering us.

And sometimes, the longer we sit there, the harder it becomes to imagine feeling any differently.

But you don't have to wait until your mood improves to do something that might improve your mood.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's research on the benefits of physical activity explains that exercise can provide immediate mental health benefits, including reducing short-term feelings of anxiety. Regular physical activity can also support better sleep and lower the risk of depression.

I've personally found that lifting weights can be particularly helpful after a frustrating day. There's something about getting into the gym and doing something physically challenging that makes me feel a little more capable and in control.

That doesn't mean working out will solve whatever happened. It won't magically get you the job you didn't get or change somebody else's behavior.

But it can help change how you feel in that moment, and sometimes that's exactly where you need to start.

Even a five-minute walk is a step in the right direction.

Stop Making One Bad Thing Mean Everything Is Bad

This is one of the biggest mistakes I think we make when something goes wrong.

We take one disappointing experience and start using it as evidence that everything else in our lives is also going wrong.

Maybe someone you were dating stops responding. Suddenly, you're questioning whether you're attractive enough, interesting enough, or good enough to be in a relationship.

Then you start thinking about how work has been frustrating lately, how you haven't been seeing your friends enough, and how you aren't where you thought you'd be at this age.

Before you know it, one disappointing experience has turned into a referendum on your entire life.

But those things aren't necessarily connected.

As I said on the Guyset Podcast:

"Something is allowed to suck in isolation. That doesn't have to mean that like everything sucks."

I really want you to think about that.

Something can go wrong without everything being wrong. You can have a disappointing date and still have a great career. You can make a mistake at work and still be a good employee. You can experience rejection and still be someone with an incredible amount to offer.

Don't use one bad experience as proof against yourself in every other area of your life.

The American Psychological Association's guide to building resilience discusses the importance of keeping difficulties in perspective rather than catastrophizing or assuming that one setback determines your future.

You don't have to pretend something didn't hurt or that it wasn't disappointing. You just have to stop allowing it to become bigger than it actually is.

Let one thing be one thing.

Don't Let Your Problems Stack Up Against You

I talked about this on the podcast using an analogy involving bricks.

Imagine every rejection, frustration, mistake, disappointment, or bad experience as a brick.

Every time something goes wrong, you add another brick to the pile. Then another. Then another.

Eventually, the pile gets so tall that you can't see over it anymore. Everything feels overwhelming, and you start wondering how you're ever supposed to get past it.

But here's the thing: Those bricks don't have to stack on top of each other.

You can lay them alongside one another.

That frustrating conversation with your boss is one brick. The date that didn't work out is another. The thing you wanted that didn't happen is another.

They can all exist without becoming one enormous problem that feels impossible to overcome.

And eventually, you can start dealing with them individually. Some you can move past. Some you can solve. Some you can learn from.

You might even take one of those bricks and use it to build something better.

That's what I want you to remember about setbacks. They don't have to become permanent obstacles. Sometimes they become part of the foundation for whatever you build next.

And if you're going to spend time counting all the things that have gone wrong, you owe it to yourself to count the things that have gone right, too.

Think about the friendships you have, the progress you've made, the opportunities you've earned, and the things you're genuinely excited about.

The bad things deserve to be acknowledged, but so do the good ones.

Learn How to Break the Cycle of Negative Thinking

One of the most exhausting parts of feeling down is how often you end up thinking about the same thing.

You replay the conversation. You imagine what you should have said. You think about what went wrong, why it happened, and what you could have done differently.

Then you do it again.

And again.

I described this on the podcast as putting yourself inside a blender.

You fill the blender with every frustrating thought, rejection, disappointment, and insecurity, and then you press blend.

Everything spins around until you can't really distinguish one thing from another anymore. You're just left feeling overwhelmed by all of it.

And even when the blender stops, you spend time worrying about when it's going to start again.

But there's something important to remember.

"Don't forget to pour it out."

You don't have to keep carrying every negative thought you've had. You don't have to keep revisiting something just because it bothered you yesterday, last week, or last month.

Psychologists call this repetitive negative thinking rumination. In How Rumination Steals Our Joy, Psychology Today explains how repeatedly dwelling on problems can increase stress, self-doubt, and indecision without actually bringing us closer to solving anything.

The goal isn't to ignore your feelings or pretend a problem doesn't exist. It's to recognize when thinking about something has stopped being productive.

I think that's an important distinction. There is a difference between processing something and repeatedly making yourself feel bad about it.

If you're someone who struggles with getting stuck in your own head, How To Overcome Analysis Paralysis explores why thinking more doesn't always help you move forward.

At some point, you have to give yourself permission to stop pressing blend.

Two Small Tricks to Help You Let Go of a Thought

There are two exercises I shared on the podcast that I think are worth trying when you catch yourself spiraling.

The first is something I call the scissors.

When you notice yourself replaying a frustrating situation or returning to a thought that isn't helping you, imagine taking a pair of scissors and cutting that thought.

You can even physically make a cutting motion with your fingers.

It's a small reminder that you can interrupt what you're doing, recognize the thought, and choose to direct your attention somewhere else.

The second is the cloud.

Imagine placing whatever is bothering you onto a cloud and watching it float across the sky.

You don't have to chase it. You don't have to figure it out right this second. You can simply acknowledge that the thought exists and allow it to pass.

I particularly like this one because it reminds you that not every thought requires your immediate attention.

Neither exercise is a guaranteed solution, and difficult thoughts may come back. But they can be useful ways to create a little distance between yourself and whatever is occupying your mind.

Sometimes getting back up isn't about finding the perfect answer. It's about giving yourself a break from asking the same question.

Talk to Someone Instead of Trying to Handle Everything Alone

I think guys are particularly good at convincing ourselves that we should be able to handle everything on our own.

Something bothers us, so we keep it to ourselves. We're having a difficult time, so we tell everybody we're fine. We don't want to make something a big deal, so we don't talk about it at all.

But sometimes the thing that helps most is simply telling somebody what's going on.

Call your friend. Talk to your brother or sister. Tell your girlfriend what's been bothering you. Have an actual conversation with someone you trust.

You don't need to make some enormous announcement about how you're feeling.

Sometimes it's as simple as saying, "Hey, something happened today, and it's been bothering me. Can I talk to you about it?"

The American Psychological Association also identifies supportive relationships as an important part of developing resilience. Having people you can turn to during difficult periods can help you feel less isolated and better equipped to deal with what you're experiencing.

And if you've been feeling down for a long time, or your mood is interfering with your everyday life, talking to a therapist or another qualified mental health professional can be an important next step.

There's nothing weak about asking for help.

In fact, I think being able to recognize when you need someone else is a pretty important part of growing up.

Remember That You Can Start Again Without Starting Over

When something knocks you off track, it's easy to feel like you've lost all the progress you made before it happened.

But a bad week doesn't erase six months of progress. A rejection doesn't erase your accomplishments. A difficult period doesn't mean you've suddenly become incapable of doing the things you were doing before.

You're still the person who got yourself to this point.

You still have the experience, relationships, knowledge, and abilities you've spent years developing.

And you can start moving forward again without having to rebuild your entire life from the beginning.

I think this is especially important in your 20s, when so much of life can feel uncertain. Careers change, relationships end, friendships evolve, and the version of your future you imagined a few years ago might look completely different now.

That doesn't automatically mean you've gone backward.

Sometimes you just need to adjust your direction.

I wrote more about this feeling in How to Build Confidence When You Feel Behind in Life, because so much of confidence comes from recognizing your own progress rather than constantly questioning whether you're where you're supposed to be.

Getting back up doesn't mean everything immediately returns to how it was.

It means recognizing that you still have the ability to take the next step.

And Here's The Thing

I think the most important thing I want you to take away from all of this is that you don't have to stay in the place you're in right now.

You're allowed to feel disappointed. You're allowed to have a bad day, a bad week, or a difficult period of your life. You're allowed to be frustrated that something didn't work out the way you wanted it to.

But those feelings don't have to define everything that happens next.

You can get outside. You can move your body. You can stop turning one problem into ten. You can separate your setbacks instead of stacking them up. You can recognize when you're overthinking, let a thought pass, and talk to someone when you need help.

None of these things guarantees that life will immediately become easier.

But they are ways to start participating in your own life again instead of feeling like you're stuck watching everything happen around you.

And maybe that's what getting back up actually looks like.

Not one enormous, life-changing moment where everything suddenly makes sense, but a series of smaller decisions that slowly bring you back to yourself.

I want to end with something I said toward the end of the episode:

"If you're in a place where you're looking for how to get back up, just know that you will."

You might not know exactly how yet. You might not feel particularly confident about it today. And it might take longer than you want.

But where you are right now isn't necessarily where you're going to be tomorrow, next month, or next year.

You still have a life to live, things to experience, people to meet, and opportunities you haven't even encountered yet.

And you deserve to give yourself the chance to experience all of them.

So take the walk. Make the call. Go to the gym. Take the next step.

You can get back up again.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you get back up when life knocks you down?

Start by focusing on small things you can control. Getting outside, exercising, talking to someone you trust, and separating individual problems can help you regain a sense of direction. You don't have to solve everything immediately to start moving forward.

How do you get out of a funk when nothing seems to help?

Try changing your environment, getting physically active, and taking a break from whatever is keeping you stuck in negative thoughts. If the feeling persists, becomes overwhelming, or interferes with your daily life, consider speaking with a mental health professional.

How do you stop overthinking something that went wrong?

Recognize when you're repeatedly thinking about something without making progress toward a solution. Try mindfulness exercises, redirecting your attention, or talking through the situation with someone you trust. Remember that one bad experience doesn't define your entire life.

How do you regain confidence after rejection or failure?

Separate what happened from what it means about you. A rejection or setback doesn't erase your previous accomplishments or determine your future. Focus on your strengths, recognize your progress, and take small actions that help rebuild your confidence.

How do you find motivation to start again after a setback?

Don't wait until you feel completely motivated. Start with one manageable action, whether that's going for a walk, returning to a routine, reconnecting with someone, or working toward a personal goal. Motivation can grow as you begin making progress, even if that progress feels small.