Life Advice From The Internet

I really like life advice. I guess I just like advice in general. I like getting advice, I like giving advice, I like applying the advice to my own situations, and I really find that you understand things differently depending upon what you're going through at that exact time. Like in that moment, right now.

Or what stage you're in, or what you're living through, or whatever you're going through. I find that when you're given advice or you hear advice, you receive it so differently depending on exactly what's happening in your life right then and right there. You can hear something one day that has no effect on you whatsoever, and hear the same thing again later that may have the most profound effect on you that changes your life from there on out.

And I think that one of my favorite things about this podcast and about Guy Set is that you can listen back to an episode at a later time and maybe take something completely differently away than what you did at the time. Like maybe you listened to that episode and you were like, okay, like hear what he said, but like it didn't really like have a resounding effect on me. Like it didn't really stick with me. And maybe you hear it again, you maybe you listen to but in that episode back again later, and it

completely changes your perspective about what you're going through or it kind of hits you in a different way than you might have expected or you ever thought it could hit you before. I did an episode where I found advice people had shared online for your career and for work and going to the office and dealing with coworkers. And I thought it would be cool to do the same thing again for life advice or advice for your 20s.

Because I find that I personally love the videos that start with like, these are the things I wish I knew in my twenties, or here are the things that somebody should tell you in your twenties, or here are the things nobody tells you but will change your life in your twenties. Any of those kind of starting hooks of a video, I'm hooked. They work for me. And there's so much of them, like there is so much advice, so much wisdom, and like.

Josh Felgoise (02:32.114)

really good things being shared online through podcasts, through interviews, through TikToks, through reels, that it's really hard to decipher, almost impossible to decipher like what is helpful to you right now, or what could have a positive impact on what you're going through or propel you forward. So I thought it would be cool to explore some of the advice that I have seen shared and give my takes on each of them.

I think it's also a fun way because it's just me doing this podcast always. And I think that's like a fun way to bring in other people's perspectives or other people's life advice and then share what I think about them. So I have compiled eight to ten pieces of life advice or pieces of advice for your 20s. And I'm gonna share them with you and then give my perspective on each of them and then like build off of them if that makes sense. So let's get into it.

The purse the first, the purse piece of advice. The first piece of advice is that the only person you should be in competition with is yourself. Now, I think that this is a really great piece of advice. It's great when you say it out loud, but applying that to your life, especially

In a period of your life where there is so much going on and so many people are in so many different places and phases and stages that it feels nearly impossible not to look around and think about what everybody else is doing. I it genuinely feels like that is an impossible task. It's a very hard thing to ask of somebody to say that the only person you're in competition with is yourself. And I think that's why some of these like videos where it's like, these are the things I wish to know in my 20s, it's like,

Yeah, but in your twenties, that's so hard to apply. Yes, it's an amazing piece of advice. Yes, if we all did that, all of our lives would be better. The fact that, like, we should only be comparing to ourselves and we shouldn't be looking around at everybody else. Like, that is something that very well could change your life if you stop looking around at everybody else. But I think it's so hard to do. Like I find I catch myself all the time comparing.

Josh Felgoise (04:46.52)

To other people, people I see online, people I see in my own life, like what they're doing, the money they're making, the stage of life they're in, where they're going, what they're and it's impossible not to. I feel like, especially with social media, when we're constantly inundated with it, everybody else is up to what everybody else is doing, the updates they have in their life. Like we have an entire platform, LinkedIn, only created to share updates. Like it is an update platform. And you think about every single platform we have, it's like Instagram, TikTok.

They're all we say highlight reels of your life. It they're l a little bit less so now. People are much sharing a lot more kind of like in real time and not just highlights. But regardless, they're highlights. You're only sharing the things that you want people to see, that you want people to watch, that you want people to look at and say, that's cool what they're doing, or that's that thing. Like, okay, like I that is kind of social media. Like that is what we are constantly inundated with.

going back to LinkedIn, like it is an a platform to post when you get a new job or when you're you have a big update or a promotion or a whatever at work. Like that is what that platform is for. So it's really hard not to look at that and be like, wow, fuck, like what am I doing wrong? Or like, holy shit, how are they there and I'm not? And look at Instagram and say, that trip looks amazing, or that dinner looks unbelievable, or that new outfit, or that whatever. You know, everybody has their things that they look at and they compare to and they wish they had.

And saying that the only person you should be in competition with is yourself is a whole lot easier on paper than it is in practice. And I really like this piece of advice. I just kind of challenge it to say that it's really almost impossible to always feel that way. I think when you do find yourself or you catch yourself comparing.

I think it is helpful to have this in the back of your mind to be like, you know what? I really shouldn't be in competition with that person because their timeline is so fucking different than mine. Everything they're doing is so different than mine. Like every and and you never really know what anybody's going through, right? Like at the end of the day, you never know what that person goes home to or deals with or how they're feeling about themselves or their personal life or their relationship or where they live or what they're doing or their work or all of the things. Like you never actually know what anybody c thinks about or feels about what they're doing at the end of the day. So I think that.

Josh Felgoise (07:02.964)

This is a good piece of advice to apply when you catch yourself or when you find yourself comparing. I think that this is where this is most applicable. And it's it's a harder like blanket statement to be like, I should only think about where I am or what I'm doing. It's better to apply as like a when that happens, use this. When you find yourself doing that, think about this. The fact that like

You really don't know anybody else's story. You don't know what anybody else is going through or what they're feeling or what they're dealing with or how they feel about themselves or their situation. And that is all kind of like the secondary part of the comparison. I think it would be unfair for me to get on here and be like, I completely agree with this because I then I would be lying to you, and I'm never gonna do that to you. I think that in all honesty, like it's very real to compare yourself to people, especially in our twenties, especially post-college and throughout our twenties.

When you see big updates, when you see people doing things that seem bigger or better or brighter. And it's hard not to compare. It is. I I caught myself yesterday. So I think that this is a good piece of advice to apply as like a secondary part of your process of being like, okay, now that I've done the comparing and I've sufficiently like made myself feel bad enough about myself.

I now need to refocus and remember that I don't know anything about them, or I don't know really what's going on behind the scenes, or I don't need to be in competition with them. The I really should think about where I am in my own timeline. I heard this thing the other day, I believe it was on another podcast, that people spend so much time knocking down everybody else's buildings rather than building up their own. And I think that is like a very profound way to say what this is saying.

and I think that comes with time and I think it comes with experience, I think it comes with age, that at some point when you're kind of past all of this competition or comparison or all of that, you'll look back and it's much easier to look back and say, you shouldn't compare, or like, don't compare, or don't be in competition with anybody else. but in fact, it's really hard to do when you're living through it or when you're in it, or when you're not at like a stage or a part of your life that you feel

Josh Felgoise (09:15.746)

complete about. A lot of the times you're finding yourself comparing when you're in a middle kind of messy middle part where you're like, I don't know what's next, or I don't know what to do here, or I wish I was more solid in this and that. And I think everybody, honestly, I think everybody has something that they don't feel completely solid in, or they don't feel like they are good enough at, and they find themselves comparing. So I think that everybody could use this piece of advice and I think it's applicable when you find yourself comparing.

The next piece of advice kind of goes in tandem with this one. It is take other people's wins as if they are your own. I think this is a really great piece of advice. And I think this is something that everybody should try to do. I feel like I'm always trying to do this when I hear that a friend got a promotion or a raise, or I hear somebody got engaged, or I hear somebody moved, or I hear this or that, or whatever it is. I really try to be as happy as possible as I am for as possible for that person.

And I am. I really find myself very happy for that person. I I don't feel like I am feeling like, damn, I wish I had that or whatever. But that comes with time. I think that comes with like practice. I really do think that is something that does not happen overnight. I think that again, like the first reaction to a lot of these things is like, fuck, why and I why are I not there? Like, how am I not there? Or how do I get there? Or

Why are they making so much more than me? Like what should I be doing differently? Or what what should I have done differently? And that is a very normal first reaction. so this is another one of those, like when you catch yourself, remember to take people's wins as if they are your own, especially your friends. Like if we're not supporting our friends, like then we're not being a good friend. If we're not taking a friend's win as our own win, then like then we're not being a good friend at the end of the day. So I think one of the best ways to be a good friend is to think about what like celebrate your friends' e like accomplishments and excitements and

what they have going for them as if they are your own and really like be very excited for them. But it is hard. This is another one that's like, this is a hard one. Like it's hard to say that like, I feel like I made this I I feel like I got a raise because they got a raise. No. You're not seeing that affect your bank account the way that they're seeing that that affect their bank account, or you're not seeing that promotion take place where they have somebody working under them and you're still working under somebody. Like

Josh Felgoise (11:31.478)

You're not seeing that exactly. So this is another that's like a very big blanket statement to be like, take your friends win as wins as if they're owned. So I would probably correct this one to say, celebrate your friends as greatly as possible or as big as possible. Really make sure you're celebrating your friends and you really are excited for them. I don't think you have to take them as your own, but I think you should really take them as a part of like, I am a good friend if I celebrate my friends as big as possible. And

Like I I would also extend on this one and just be like, celebrating things is what this is all about. Like finding f time to celebrate, cheersing, like making a moment out of a friend's accomplishment. That is what this is all about. And to give it a moment. Like give the friends win a moment. Make sure you congratulate them, hype them up. I think that's a good way to be a good friend.

The next one is learn how to enjoy spending time on your own, or learn to enjoy spending time on your own. I love this one. I think this is an incredibly important one, especially in our 20s. because before our 20s, we don't have a lot of time on our own. That's probably one of the biggest changes from before college to after college, is that you are spending so much more time on your own.

And a lot of the time, nobody knows what to do at that time because you feel kinda lost in it and then you feel like you've wasted the time. I personally kind of deal with this all the time. I feel like everybody does, where you're like, I had a full night where I wanted to be productive and put my clothes away and do this and make meals and meal prep and watch that show or do that thing. And then you find yourself at eleven forty five PM scrolling on TikTok for the past five hours, or you fell asleep on the couch, you did all these and and you're like, Fuck, I didn't do

Anything I wanted to do, that's so like classic n random Tuesday or Wednesday night. And I feel like that's an experience that everybody has. and I think this is in part about being productive as much as it is about enjoying your own presence. I guess I'm taking it into the productive side, but I think this is more about enjoying who you are. I think that's kind of one of like the gifts that the 20s grants us is that we

Josh Felgoise (13:50.402)

get so much time on our own, and we can either look at it as like, my God, I have so much time, I don't know, I know what to do at that time. I feel like lonely, I feel like a loser. Or we can take that time to like get to know ourselves and familiar familiarize ourselves with what we actually like, what we actually want to do, what we want to see for ourselves, what we want to build in this life. And there are really two sides to that. And I feel like they can kind of flip on a dime depending on the day or the week or what you're going through.

Some days you feel like you don't know what to do, or you don't like all the thoughts in your head, or there's too much going on. You feel overwhelmed, you feel anxious, you feel like all of that. That's very, very real. And the other side of it is like, I am in charge of all of this. I am completely in control. I feel so good about where I'm at. I feel like great about what I'm doing, where I'm going, what I'm creating, who I am, like all of that. And I feel like your twenties are a back and forth of that. Like I don't think.

you can have one without the other, and I don't think one stays without the other. Like I think you need to have both in balance. I don't think that having too much of one is always good, and I don't think having too much of the other is always good. Like if you're always anxious and you're always overwhelmed and you're always overthinking, that's not good. But if you're always thinking that you are the best and you have everything going for you and you're this and you're that, and like that's how you build like ego and pretentiousness and like you don't want all that too. So

Having these two things in balance, I think, is a really good thing, and I think it's cool to look at it that way. Like, I think it's awesome that we have both of those. And I know that sounds kind of crazy to be like, you think it's great to be anxious and overthinking? Like, yeah, I do, because I think you can't have the great without that. Like, you can't always be happy, you can't always be sad. They have to work in tandem, and there's always two sides to that coin. You have to learn how to live in both of them.

You have to learn how to operate in both of them. I have not perfected this whatsoever. I don't know if I ever will, but I think and I don't know if anybody ever has, but I think it's important to learn how to spend time on your own because that is how you learn to live in both of them. That is how you learn to live in both the I don't know what the fuck is going on, and I have everything figured out. That's how you kind of live in the middle of both.

Josh Felgoise (16:06.918)

Is spending the time working through the things, like learning what you want, learning what you want to do and what you want to be and how you want to navigate all of this. I mean, I think that is what your 20s is overall. Like, that is the definition of being in your 20s. It's not knowing what you're doing next or what you're supposed to do or how you're supposed to to do any of this. Like, there is no guideline or guidebook for what.

To do or how to handle this or how to proceed next. It's all up to you to figure that out. And I think that is both incredibly scary and incredibly exciting. And you come to the terms of the fact that it is all up to you. Like whatever you do next, whatever you want to do, what you do in this life is up to you. And coming to terms with that, learning that, understanding that is a very big revelation.

and it can only come when you're ready for it, and it can only come when you start to understand it and and start to understand you and what you want to do. so I think that this one is incredibly important. Learn to enjoy spending time on your own. And I would just add on to this one like, learn how to spend time on your own. And through all of that, learn who you are and what you want to do and what you wanna be. That was a big one. Okay. The next one is don't stay in a relationship because you don't want to hurt the other person.

Person. This is a really big one. I don't think I would change a thing about this one. I think I wanna maybe just change it. I just said I wasn't gonna change anything and now I'm changing something. I just wanna add on that like I think this is also true for people that you're starting to see or the beginning of dating. Like, I think this can apply to more than just relationships. I think this should also apply to when you first start dating or when you first start seeing someone.

So to a situationship or to like I'm changing the definition or the word relationship to like any start or point in dating whenever you're seeing someone. So don't stay in something because you don't wanna hurt the other person. I think that this is one of the hardest parts about dating is that you have to come to terms with the fact that like when you don't like someone, you're gonna let them down. You're gonna disappoint them, you're gonna

Josh Felgoise (18:22.698)

make them feel probably the way that you have felt before, which is just disappointed and upset and like you thought it was going somewhere and you really saw something for this, but it they let you down because they said no or they rejected you. Or I think that it's kind of important to go through rejection and and go through disappointment or hoping that something's gonna be bigger than it is and then it kind of letting you down because you also then understand what you kind of do to somebody else when you do that.

which then in turn means you'll do it much more carefully and much more like deliberately. And you won't just ghost somebody, you'll send them a message saying, like, hey, I just don't see this going any further, or whatever kind of phrasing you wanna put on it. because you care about how they feel or how you at least made them feel, and that's kind of all we have an impact over or on in life. and I think that this one.

Don't stay in a relationship or don't stay in something because you don't want to hurt the other person can apply to so many things, can apply to your career, can apply to friendship, can apply to anybody you're starting to see dating, any kind of few date situation. and also relationships, I think broadly too. Like I think if you're in a relationship that isn't right for you and you've known it isn't right or you feel it isn't right, like

You can't stay in that because you're afraid of what it's gonna do to other person. Like you you have to do what's right for you. You have to do the thing that you know is right, even if you know it's gonna hurt the other person. Because overall or ultimately, it's going to help the other person because this wasn't right in the first place. And they're gonna have to learn that on their own way. And they may be angry, they may be pissed, they may be disappointed, they may be like so fucking angry. But that's all part of this. I think this is a really hard one to swallow because

A lot of people stay in things because they don't want to hurt somebody else and they don't want to let somebody else down or disappoint somebody else. but at the end of the day, like that is what you have to do. We only have one life. We only have one time. and staying in something that because you're afraid it's gonna hurt somebody will ultimately end up hurting them even more. And I think that's kind of the addition to it, is that like don't stay in a relationship because you don't want to hurt the other person, knowing that staying in the relationship will hurt them more.

Josh Felgoise (20:40.952)

I think that's kind of the big one, and I think that's the addition I would add to that. That kind of makes it a little bit like, okay, that makes complete sense. Yeah, that is why you shouldn't stand something. That is why you shouldn't stay in a relationship and you wouldn't shouldn't just see something through because you hope it's gonna work out, even though you know it's not right or you know it's not good or whatever it is. The next one is why be a people pleaser if people are never pleased? I love this one. I am working on an entire episode on people pleasing because I think that this is one of the things that like

Really bogs people down. I find myself to be a people pleaser at times, and a lot of times I find that I want to make sure that everybody is happy with me and everybody likes me and everybody feels good about the way I've made them feel. And it's impossible. It is an impossible task. It is a tall task. It is an impossible task. It is something that you have no control over. And the sooner you understand that, the better you will be.

Why be a people pleaser if people are never pleased is I think one of the best pieces of advice that I've found and I think is should put should be put on a pillow. Like it's something that I think everybody should remember. I think it can be applied in so many different ways. And I think that everybody can work on this one. But I'm gonna work I'm gonna do a whole episode on people pleasing very soon. So stay tuned for that. I will save the rest of what I have to say for that.

But remember this one. Why be a people pleaser if people are never pleased? The next one is your happiness is much more important than other people's disappointment. These three kind of feel like they are together. The one I said before about stay in relationship, the people pleasing. I think something that everybody has to come to terms with terms with is the fact that we're going to let people down.

The fact that we're gonna disappoint people, the but the fact that we aren't going to always measure up to what people hope or expect of us. Cause at the end of the day, we are human. At the end of the day, we're gonna make mistakes. At the end of the day, we're gonna something wrong or something that it wasn't exactly what somebody hoped you were gonna do. And that is going to be in service of doing something that you think is better for you.

Josh Felgoise (22:58.102)

Whether it's the way you spend your time, whether it's canceling something because you have to for this, whether it's changing this, whether it's doing this. Like it's there's so many things that pe people are gonna be let down by or disappointed by that you do it matters most that you are following what you believe is like gonna create the best life for you.

And that you are doing the thing that you think is right at the end of the day. That you are kind of following the thing that you know you are supposed to be doing. I know I'm kind of speaking very vaguely right now because I'm trying to allow this one to apply to so many different things. And when I was talking earlier about how like a piece of advice can really penetrate if you're in the place to receive it, pause, but you know, I think that this is one of those pieces of advice where it's like

This could be very helpful to somebody, and it's helpful to me to hear something like this. So I'm gonna say this one again. Your happiness is more important than other people's disappointment. And I think that take that one as you will, because this is a very good piece of advice, and I think you can apply it however you see fit. The next one is good manners never go out of style. I love this one. I think this is

Applicable to as well, like everything. I think it's applicable to dating. I think it's applicable to dinners, business dinners, family dinners, dinners with friends, talking to waiters, talking to people at the gym workers at the gym, talking to anybody you interact with, holding the door for people, saying bless you, saying thank you, saying please, like interact looking up from your phone, making eye contact with people. I think that we

sometimes forget the ones like this for the ones that are like the happiness disappointment ones. And like this is a really good piece of advice. Like remembering to have good manners, smiling, interacting with people, saying hi, like really looking up from your phone and like making like a a real human interaction with somebody instead of letting things pass by and never really knowing who the person was who just checked you out at that place or you know, like I I I just think

Josh Felgoise (25:17.004)

good manners can be lost a lot of the time, and I think the way you speak to people is really important. I really do. I think how you interact with anybody is how you interact with everybody. And I think how you speak to people is a very big reflection of who you are. Of course, we all have missteps and we all have bad days. I'm not saying this is something that you need to like be monitoring for like every single second. Like I I just think this is one that we should be considering and having in the back of our heads that good manners never go out of style.

The next one is do the thing that you think about every day. I love this piece of advice. Do the thing you think about every day. I think that this can be applied to the thing that you've been pushing off, the thing that's been on your two to-do list for months, weeks, whatever it is, the thing that you every day are like, I gotta get to that, or I gotta do that thing, like I gotta make that appointment, I gotta call that person, I gotta do that thing, I gotta pay that thing. Like the thing that is bothering you that's in the back of your head.

When you get it done, you feel like you've accomplished everything. Like when you finally get to that task, you're like, I should have done that 10 days ago because I would have felt less anxious for 10 days. I wouldn't have felt anxious for 10 days. Like had I done that 10 days ago, my life would have been so much better. Like, why didn't I just do that? It's that funny thing, like when you've been pushing off that task for so long and you do it and it takes 10 minutes, and you're like, well, fuck, why didn't I do that 10 days ago? and it feels like you have all these tabs open in your head or in your mind.

And by doing a task, you kind of close it out and you kind of close one of those tabs that makes you feel like you're you have so much to do all the time. so do the thing that you've been thinking about every single day. That applies to the thing you've been pushing off, but it also applies to the thing that you feel propelled by or excited by, the thing that you want to make or create or write or do or whatever it is, like.

I think I like to take this in both ways, of the thing that's like bogging you down and bothering you, and the thing that you wake up being like, I should really do that. And you go to bed being like, I didn't get that done. And also the thing that you're like, I'm so excited by that. I wish I made time for it. I wanna make time for it. Do that thing. Make the time for that. Make sure you make the time for it and and try to make it happen and fit it into your day because I think your day will feel better when you do that thing. You will feel like you actually

Josh Felgoise (27:37.652)

are moving towards something or are excited by something and you're kind of allowing yourself or giving yourself the time to explore that. So both of these things I think is where this one applies. but for real, like that the one where we have all these things that we wish we did or we should have done or we've been thinking about doing, do that today. Like if you hear me right now and there's that that you're thinking of that thing and I know there's that thing because everyone has that thing and it usually takes 10 to 15 minutes, maybe even less, maybe a little bit more

But if you carve out the time to make that happen, get that shit done, you will feel so much better. Like I really know that. I know that. and I'm gonna do that. I have two things in the back of my head when I'm talking about this right now. Like that I'm like, I have meant to do that for four days now, and I'm like, the fact that I haven't is pissing me off and it's annoying me about myself, but I still don't want to do it. And I keep pushing it off, and then I'm like, it's five, I guess I'll do it tomorrow, or it's like the end of the business day, like blah, whatever it is. I have two at the back of my head right now. I'm gonna do these right after I stop recording because I need to get them done.

And I know when I do I'm gonna like, yep, I felt exactly the way that I thought I would. And I'm gonna be like, I wish I did this four days ago. So do that thing. And those are the pieces of life advice. Those are the advice for your 20s that I think are gonna be beneficial, are gonna propel you forward, that will be helpful, that may get you out of a position you're in or help you in the position that you're in.

I think these are really great pieces of advice. I actually have a lot more on this list, and I'm gonna do a part two of this because I loved this episode. I really hope you did too. That is the episode. Thank you so much for listening to Guy Set, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh, I'm 26 years old, and I'm here every single week, every single Tuesday to talk about what should be talked about for guys. If you feel like this episode, please like, subscribe to this podcast. Five stars, live five stars, not four to three channeles, five stars. Thank you so much that. I really really appreciate that.

Everything was about that be talked about every set over my website, guyset.com, g u se t dot com. There's ask me anything right You ask me anything on the website, g guyset.com, g-i-s e t dot com. There are so many other blog posts and articles and things you can read about, pieces of advice, perspectives about dating, relationships, career, mindset, lifestyle, all these different questions that guys actually have throughout their 20s that I have answered on there, that I have used podcast episodes to create. So I think that.

Josh Felgoise (29:54.828)

I have answers on there, so you can find so many more pieces of advice on there. It's like an extension of what I do on here over there on guyset.com. I really hope that you can take one of these pieces of advice and apply it to your life today. Take one of them, take all of them, whatever works best for you, and come back to this episode whenever you're in a position where you're like, I need something. I need a little something, and something that might propel me forward or make me feel a little better or make me feel a little more excited or kind of meet me where I am. So

I think this episode is one to come back to. I will personally come back and listen to this episode again. and I hope you do too. Thank you so much. Listen to Guys said to Guy's guide to what should be talked about, and I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys.