How To Get Your Screen Time Under Control

Josh Felgoise (00:00.204)

Welcome to Guy's Set, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh, I'm 24 years old, and I'm here to find all the tips, advice, and recommendations for everything you're wondering about. Let's get into it.

Josh Felgoise (00:17.902)

Hi guys, welcome back to Guy's Set, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. Three things happened yesterday that led me to create this episode and want to make a change around what I call screen time or phone time and what you may call a phone addiction. So I was brushing my teeth and mindlessly scrolling from app to app. literally went from Snapchat and once I was done checking my Snapchat updates, I went to Instagram, scrolled mindlessly on Instagram, then went to TikTok and then I went to LinkedIn.

And I was just going like randomly from app to app and not even thinking about the fact that I was spending so much time scrolling on my phone, not paying attention to what I was actually doing, like brushing my teeth and like getting washed where I should be just bored and like in the moment, you know, why do I have to be on my phone at that time? And it's become like a force of habit to just like mindlessly scroll or go from app to app while I'm in the bathroom. Well, many times bathroom, you know, you you get the, you get the vibe.

So sometimes I think it's okay to bathroom, but other times, why do I need it to brush my teeth and like wash my face and be there and sitting and waiting for me to pick it back up again? I use it so much throughout the day, like just seems a little excessive. And then I walked over to my friend Reed's room and we were talking about this video I saw earlier and we were both trying to find it simultaneously. And then somehow ended up in our own like wormhole of our phones, just mindlessly scrolling our apps of choice, mine being TikTok, his being YouTube. And then we both looked up after five minutes and we're like, all right.

Good hanging with you, like good chat. Like we just both fell back into our phones, forgot what we were doing completely, and went our separate ways and both went to bed. And then when I went to my room to go to bed, I made sure to plug my phone in so it was completely charged for the next day, of course, the most important thing to do before bed. And then the first thing I did when I got into bed was bring my phone right back over and start scrolling again.

And I fell down to this rabbit hole and it was around 11.45 at night and I told myself, at 12 I'll get off my phone. Like at 12 I'll put it down and maybe read. There's a running joke among my friends that I don't actually read because I talk about that I read on here and that I don't really read. It's really funny. So I decided I would stop scrolling at 12 and read. And then around 12.15 I was like, alright, you need to get the fuck off this thing and actually like go to bed. And then I read like two pages of my book. I actually read the book.

Josh Felgoise (02:32.322)

I'm reading the outsiders, by the way. I'll talk about that at some point when I finish it. It's like this. I won't get into it. Maybe fell asleep after like three minutes of reading the book. And how much greater would it have been if I started reading at eleven forty five instead of twelve fifteen? I probably would have fallen asleep at like eleven forty eight instead of twelve twenty and gotten a little bit more sleep and a more productive and better sleep without that blue light, high brightness in my face throughout 30 more minutes of doom scrolling.

And then I had a dream about the video that I was previously watching before I fell asleep. And I woke up at 3am thinking about it. And then when I woke up again this morning, I was like, this can't be good. This is not good that I'm dreaming about the video that I watched falling asleep too. Like that's bad. And I feel like that's a sign that I am spending too much time on my phone. And I also feel worse. I'm sure you feel the same way. I just feel like I'm less productive when I'm scrolling my phone so mindlessly. I just feel worse and I...

woke up with that realization of like, all right, I need to not check my phone first thing when I wake up and last thing when I go to bed that needs to stop being a recurring habit of mine. And I just got to get out of that. And that's what I wanted to talk about today and how I'm going to make that change and like invite you to if you're in a similar position that you're like really stuck in this weird spot of phone addiction or like excessive amounts of phone time that I just like can't get away from. And personally, when I took a break from work,

and off my laptop in my meetings, I go onto my phone and I scroll my phone. So I'm on one screen onto the next screen. And then when I'm gonna break from my phone, I go to like TV. And it's not to say I don't do other things besides like I go outside, I go to the gym, I hang out with friends, like I go on dates, like I do other things. But I'm saying like in the day to day monotony of regular daily life, you go from screen to screen to screen. And that just can't be good for us. Like I'm sure there's some science out there. That's not where, it's not what you're coming here for.

Maybe I'll bring somebody on to talk about that, but that's not what the solo episodes are going to be for ever. but yesterday I felt like I spent so much time on my phone and this morning I decided to make a change and try a little bit harder to get out of it a bit as I'm also reading off my phone right now, my notes. So I use it a lot in my daily life and I'm that like, I don't think those times are bad. I think there's productive things you can do on your phone. And I think there's also times in which a scroll is okay, as long as you have it under control and you're not.

Josh Felgoise (04:54.656)

scrolling while you're brushing your teeth and scrolling in bed and scrolling the first thing when you wake up and pushing back on things in your day, like scrolling in your bed in the morning and taking a chunk of the time that you would be going to the gym or you would be getting ready and like making breakfast or going on a walk and getting outside and that time before work. Like if you're pushing that chunk of time back because you're scrolling on your phone, like I do that. I'm really bad about it and I'm really working on it.

It's just the part when it's getting uncontrollable that I need to get under control and I don't know if you're there with me or not but I'm assuming somebody is or some people are. I can't be alone in this and I don't think I am. Like I got my weekly screen time reminder last week, the one that's like, you've spent nine hours a day on your phone and I was like, holy fucking shit, like that is so bad. Like that cannot be good. And I was like, that can't be right. Like that just doesn't sound.

That sounds made up like that. That's too many hours spent daily and to nobody's surprise It was exactly right and I was like, holy shit that cannot be good and that should serve as their like a reminder to Get this under control a little bit more and I think it's really hard as I said We're going from screen to screen to screen and the times at which we're looking for an outlet to get away from the work screen We're texting a friend or we're calling somebody or we're scrolling on tik-tok or YouTube or Instagram or watching our friend stories and just like

I don't think that mindless role is always bad, as I said before, but I think it's the part in which it feels uncontrollable that we don't really talk about, right? Because it's just something that's kind of normal in our daily lives, and it's normal for like our generation and the generation below. And I worry about like the ones below and below and below because they grow up with that. Like, I feel fortunate enough that like we didn't have this stuff in elementary school. I guess depending on when you got a phone, but it wasn't like all consuming during those really developmental times. And

That's not to say these aren't really still developmental times, like we're still learning a shit ton and growing a shit ton and a lot of that time is being spent consumed by our phone. So that's a whole other story. Like I'm not, I'm not going into that, but I just felt like mentally drained by it. And that is when I think it's a problem. So if I'm scrolling for a certain amount of time watching videos that I find funny or something that's like, think is interesting or just something that's entertaining, like, and it's a good break for me, then I'm totally fine with it. And same with social media. Like if you're scrolling,

Josh Felgoise (07:10.734)

and looking at your friends posts or you're like looking at something you find interesting or a celebrity or an athlete or somebody that you're interested in and want to be following and keep up with their life like I think that's totally okay as long as you like make that intentional choice to spend that time there and you're using it as like an outlet or like a time off or a break from everything else it's the fact that I'm picking up my phone and scrolling and checking random shit and that's just become second nature

rather than just living in time and being present with nothing or being bored that I find to be a problem for myself. And I just realized I don't really allow myself to do the mundane tasks without something external, like without that external going on my phone and watching something or scrolling. And I'm sure I'm not alone in this like real phone addiction. But I can tell that it's really affecting my sleep. As I said last night, like I literally had a dream about the video I watched and I just feel like I get worse quality sleep.

when I'm scrolling on TikTok or YouTube or Instagram or whatever, rather than reading something or just falling asleep because I fell asleep or, you know, like just laying there or listening to music or like a podcast or whatever you use to put yourself to sleep, like Calm app. I don't know what you use. I don't really use any of that, obviously, because I'm watching TikTok to fall asleep or reading, as I said, sometimes.

I feel like I've gotten a worse sleep and I'm almost like annoyed at myself because of that and it's just not helping my lack of sleep. I talked about this before that I feel like I don't get enough sleep and the one of the things that you can actively do to help that is to get off your fucking phone at night or in bed. So that is a change I'm going to make or try and implement today. I heard something recently I think it was a Jay Shetty interview and he was talking about if you do something in a place you start to associate that thing with that place.

So here's the good example. Like if you journal every night at your desk, you start to associate that place, like that desk or that area with journaling and with gratitude and with like calm and comfort. Whereas if you bring your phone to the bed, you start to associate your phone time with your bed and not your bed with your sleep. And then association can quickly happen and also quickly change. so I want to change the association that I have with sleep.

Josh Felgoise (09:22.154)

away from phone time and more towards sleep or other things or better things, you know? so I'm committing myself to a week of that starting today, starting this morning. When I wake up, I won't check my phone in the morning. First thing, and I won't check my phone until I'm out of bed and washed and dressed and out the door and actually outside. Like that's a, that's a thing I did today. And I felt so much better for it that I didn't check my phone until I was like halfway to the gym this morning. And when I did finally check my phone,

I immediately saw a text and a notification and something in an app that I clicked into and a Slack message and I read the text and I responded and then I checked the notification. I opened Instagram and Tik Tok and then I checked my email and then I checked Slack and I immediately changed myself from proactive to reactive. This is also something I've talked about before, but when you check your phone first thing in the morning, it takes you out of your proactive state of being like, okay,

What can I do today to make today great? What are the things I can get done today to feel accomplished by the end of the day? Or where can I improve from yesterday? Or what can I do better? Or what can I, who can I call and what can I make happen with the 24 hours I have today? And how can I make this day great? All the things that you could be doing in the morning and thinking about like the things you're grateful for and like all the great things you can do to set yourself up really, really well for the day. When you check your phone, you set yourself up

Immediately away from all of that to reactive you set yourself right to let me respond to this person Well, what's this person want for me? What can I give this person? How can I respond to that person? Let me check this notification. Let me check that notification Let me open this app this app this app and this app and you Go so far away from that proactive mindset of setting yourself up for success or productivity or being proactive and fall so far out of that into

What does this person want from me? How can I help this person? What can I do for this person? What do need to do for work? And like all these other things that just clutter your mind all day, start right then and there at that exact moment when you've just woken up. Like how crazy is that that we do that to ourselves all the time? Even when you're just scrolling, you're making an opinion about that person or you're watching this thing and thinking that thing. And you're like already thinking so many things and forming so many different thoughts before you've even thought one thought yourself. All that to say when you check your phone in the morning, you create

Josh Felgoise (11:41.256)

so many different judgments and have so many different reactions before you've even seen how you felt that day before you decide this is how I feel I feel tired I feel good I feel ready I feel anxious I feel you you don't even get that part of it because you're thinking about so many other things first and then you think about yourself and I've only talked about that in the context of waking up but I want to add that to going to bed as well like when you go to bed assuming you're alone when you go to bed

It can be a time for reflection of the day, not in terms of like overthinking every aspect of the day and creating anxiety for yourself to stay up all night, but maybe like a couple things you're grateful for or what you did well or what you want to change for tomorrow or what you could do differently and better tomorrow and like how the next day can be great. You take all of that away from yourself when you unlock your phone and bring that light right back to your face and give your thoughts and focus to everybody else's life.

Those two moments, waking up, going to bed, can be times of introspection and reflection, but become moments of mindlessness and thoughtlessness. Aside from just working on not going on my phone when I go to bed and in the morning, I'm also gonna work on intentionally opening my phone and scrolling. But those are the two times in the day where I feel like can actively set the intention and set myself up for a greater success to not do it. Whereas like throughout the day, I'll work on it. But those are two times where I'm like,

actively like, okay, phone is down. You will not be checking when you wake up or you'll not be checking when you go to bed or get in bed. Other times I can be like, shit, I wish I didn't do that. I'm not going to do that again. I'm going to work on that. But those are two times where I can intentionally be like, I'm not going to do that. And the reason I think it's so important to not only change this at night, but also in the morning is because when you check your phone and spend time scrolling your phone in the morning, I push back my productivity.

in real time. Like I push back the time I could be getting to the gym earlier. I could be getting out of the house earlier. I could be getting sunlight in or getting a coffee or making breakfast or listening to a podcast or writing something or reading or checking the news. Like, I don't know. Why not? All things that I see as like could be bettering myself. I spend the time doing the exact opposite of that. So I'll give you this morning as a perfect example of like what I

Josh Felgoise (13:54.754)

wish I could do every day and what I hope to do for more days. So I woke up to my alarm. I use an Alexa so it's not my phone. I snoozed her once, twice if I'm being fully honest with you and I got up at my ideal time which is enough time to get to the gym, also shower, get a coffee and eat something before I start working. When I got out of bed in the morning, this is something I heard a while back that I started doing and I really like doing I wish I did it more often, is the first thing I do when I put my two feet on the ground is I think of three things that I'm grateful for.

Today they were my sleep, which I felt like I got a lot of sleep. I know I woke up that one time as I said, but I felt like I got like a good seven and a half, eight hours, which is more than I can say for most nights. So my sleep, the fun weekend I had, and getting up to the gym. Like it was literally as simple as that. Barely any thought went into those three things. And I thought it was really cool how I can start my day with three things that I'm grateful for rather than all the other thoughts and reactions and judgments that I could create by scrolling my phone.

So I highly, highly recommend trying that. Then I got dressed, still no phone. And then I went to the bathroom, did my bathroom things. Still no phone, if you can believe it. Put on my sneakers. I put my towels in the wash and ran a load of laundry, which is crazy. And then I got my water, my keys, and I was out the door. Still no phone check, which is wild. And then I walked for a few minutes before I checked my phone. And then I put in my music or a podcast. This morning was a podcast. And I walked to the gym.

And then I checked those texts and that Slack and that email and the notification as I told you before. And then I'm kind of like right back into the wormhole. Like you're right back into the phone, which I was away from for a little while. And now I'm right back. And it was still a little bit later than I usually check, but like I was still back into that virtual world. And this episode isn't to say that screen time is bad or phone time is bad. I obviously don't think it is. I spend a ton of time on it, but when it becomes second nature and almost impulsive and uncontrollable,

like mine kind of currently has, I think it's time to set some boundaries around it and make some changes to get back to a place where it doesn't feel like it's controlling you and back to a place where you feel like you're controlling it. So if you're in a similar place and you feel like your phone time has gotten a bit excessive and a little out of control like I have with mine, try doing these couple things with me. Cutting the phone out of the bed.

Josh Felgoise (16:14.144)

Making that one small change, I think, can lead to a really big impact. So not checking it at night, not checking it in the morning, as I'm talking about. If the bed and like night and morning isn't your problem, I'm assuming it is most people's problems, if it isn't your problem and it's more like you whip out your phone when you're walking to just watch videos and scroll, maybe that's where you make the change. If you feel like it's consuming you while you're eating and you're not even paying attention to what you're eating or like what your food even tasted like, maybe that's where you make the change.

Maybe it's your desk at work and you feel like the time has gone by so quickly before you can even get your work done. Maybe that's where you make the change. Like pinpoint where it's affecting you most frequently and try to implement the change there and try this for five days and see what it does for you. I'm going to try this. started on a Monday and I'm to try it through Friday and I'll report back on how I felt after this and how I felt better and like what change this led for me and my sleep and my productivity.

And let me know what you think too. I'm really curious too if this helps you and I think it'll really help me so I'm excited to try it because I think that these two changes will lead to a really big impact for me and I'm excited for this. That is the episode for today. I hope you and I can both get our screen time under control a little bit more and I appreciate you listening. If like this episode really did, please like, subscribe, give this podcast five stars. That's one, two, three, four, five at the top of the podcast page on podcasts, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you're listening, iHeartRadio, doesn't matter.

If you have any questions, let me talk about and they should be talked about sent to my email, josh at guys.com j o s h at gu i s e t.com or to my dms at the guy set th e g u i s e t on Instagram, tick tock, all the social media YouTube. I don't even know if there's dms on YouTube, but you can send it there. Anyway, I have a really, really, really fun guest coming next week. We're recording this interview this week and I'm so, so stoked for you to hear that one. Thank you so much listening and I will see you guys next Tuesday. See you guys.