How To Build Gym Confidence

Josh Felgoise (00:00.206)

Welcome to Guy's Set, the guy's guide to what you should be talking about. I'm Josh, I'm 23 years old, and I'm here to find all the tips, advice, and recommendations for guys in their 20s. Let's get into it.

Josh Felgoise (00:18.095)

Hi guys, welcome back to guyset, the guys guide to what should be talked about. So I know I originally said that each week will be a guest and then a solo episode and guest solo episode, but I'm switching that up a bit because I have a topic this week that I have been thinking about and I wanted to talk about it. So switching it up. I wanted to this episode for a while and I feel like I'm in a good enough place now to do it. So this episode is all about

gym confidence and just like being confident in yourself when going to the gym. And I laid out five ish tips I say ish because I'm there's always meets like some more or something added in there. For you if you're in a place where you're thinking about going to the gym or starting like a gym routine, or thinking about lifting or just like making this a part of your day, but you're in kind of the mindset that going to the gym is the most intimidating thing in the fucking world and you have no idea where to start.

or you're in a place where you started going to the gym and just feel really intimidated with the people around you. That's personally the way I felt and still feel a lot of the time when I go to the gym. So I want to talk about it and some tips for building like your own, I'm just going to call it gym confidence. So before I get into it, exciting announcement, exciting, very exciting. This episode will be live on YouTube starting today.

So you can find it if you search guys set on YouTube and I will also be posting The episodes that I recorded so that is a couple of the last interviews in the next coming days So the YouTube channel is launching Thrilling news if you like watching podcasts, but it's just me standing in my room at my standing desk with a ton of clothes behind me and Just shit strewn everywhere. I just got back from a trip and I haven't unpacked yet But this kind of looks like a normal day, but I am working on that episode may be on like

cleaning and organization coming soon because that is something I really need to work on. And I don't know, I've just realized recently that when my room is messy, it directly impacts my mental health. if I like I'll be I'll be in a worse mood if I come back to like a really like messy ass room. And if it's cleaner, I just feel better. That's just me personally. That's not what we're talking about today. But that's future episode. So be ready for that. So I want to start with tip one, and I'm calling it the intimidation factor.

Josh Felgoise (02:35.668)

And I want to start by saying a quote by the world renowned Theodore Roosevelt. He said that comparison is the thief of joy. And I truly, truly do believe that quote. We'll get into it. when I started going to the gym first, I, this was like maybe a year ago. This is why I like now feel comfortable going into this episode. About a year ago, I decided that like, I'm going to make going to the gym a part of my like daily routine and

I really do believe that like consistency is the key to success for anything specifically for like going to the gym or like working on working on yourself, working on your mental health. Same thing with journaling. Like if you do it once or twice, it's not going to work if you do it or like it's not going to become a part of your day. But if you do it a hundred times, it's it. We'll talk about that. So when I first started going to the gym, I was always looking around at like the other people at the gym. I was always, always, intimidated with everybody around me and

There's always someone at the gym who's bigger than you, who can lift more, who's stronger, who's faster, who is training harder, who not only looks stronger, just is stronger. And there will always be that person at the gym. And that's fine. The quicker you can get over the fact that, excuse me, the quicker you can get over the fact that somebody will look better than you and will be better than you at the gym, the easier it is to just start going into your routine. So

stop comparing yourself to that person or to those people. They are going to be better. Like if you're just starting out or you've only been working out for a year or two, like you're not going to look like that person. They've been at it and they're, they have a routine and they have, they do protein powder and they eat just meat and only water and they don't drink. And like there's a lot of things that go into like looking like some of those people look and that's never going to be me. So I had to realize quickly enough,

to stop comparing myself to those people and start just doing my own damn thing because otherwise I was never gonna do it. I was never gonna start. When I got there and I looked around and I was like, holy fuck, that guy has ginormous muscles or holy shit, that guy can do 800 burpees and like not break a sweat or like that guy is sprinting and I'm walking on the treadmill doing like an incline walk or I'm lifting a.

Josh Felgoise (04:59.824)

15 pound weight and he's lifting 45 pound weights or I'm chest press chest chest press. Yeah, that's what it's called. I'm chest pressing like 25 pound plates on each side and a 20 pound bar and that's like let me do the math. Hold on. That's gonna take me a second.

That's like 70 pounds. I hope that's right. And I'm doing 70 pound weights. I'm doing a 70 pound chest press and they're doing 150 or 200 or 300. And it's just like, if I keep comparing myself to that person, I'm never gonna be comfortable in my own skin at the gym. So the quicker you can stop comparing yourself to others and just start comparing yourself to your progress, the easier it's going to be for you.

And what I mean by that is comparing yourself to the previous version of you. So I'm comparing now year one of Josh working out to a year ago when I wasn't. That's my comparison now. It's not comparing myself to that guy who can lift 350 pound barbells. don't know. 350 pound dumb dumb dumb bells. 350 pound weights. Let's say weights. That's easier.

I'm not comparing myself to that person anymore. I'm comparing myself to a year ago Josh So for example if a year ago I was lifting or curling 15 pound weights and then six months ago I moved up to the 20 pound weights and then You know three months ago. I moved to the 25 and now I'm at the 30 pound weights That's sick. Like that's so cool that I'm getting to a place where I can lift heavier weights I'm comparing myself to my previous progress. I'm not comparing myself to the guy who has

the fucking massive muscles who's lifting 60 pound weights. That's not me right now. I'm comparing myself to a year ago and I'm 15 pounds heavier in weight and that's cool. Like that's awesome. And that's what I look at as my progress. So tip two is called getting 1 % better each day. And I'm here to tell you that going to the gym is never going to be an overnight success story. You're not going to do a 10 minute ab workout and the next day like look like Zac Efron. It's never going to happen.

Josh Felgoise (07:11.118)

I know we all wish that could happen. It's not going to fucking happen. And, you know, I've been doing like ab workouts for like a year now. And like I just started seeing a little bit of progress on my stomach and like that's great. And that's like super exciting to see. But that's that's taken so long to get to that place. So working out consistently, like then you start seeing. Fuck me, the camera died. The literal one time I decided to start doing YouTube and

My camera dies of fucking course. Anyway, back to the tips. So we were talking about getting 1 % better each day. And yeah, what I was saying was it just, took me so long to get to a place where I can confidently say that I'm comfortable, like looking at myself in the mirror. Um, and I'm becoming more comfortable with my body image and where I'm at and my progress. And you know, like that's, this is a whole nother topic and we will, we will definitely get to it.

at some point soon if you listen to the episode with Ryan winter called body image we talk about it a bit but I haven't talked about it too much myself but I'm kind of finally getting to a place where like I can look in the mirror and be like okay like I'm on my way I'm one percent better each day I'm building toward that that place where I have always wanted to get to so by comparing to yourself as I said before instead of comparing to others you

can see that 1%. It's not just like something in your head like, okay, I gotta get 1 % better. You can start seeing it soon. The third tip is called getting comfortable with getting uncomfortable. You know, how will you ever learn to do something if you don't try? And that is just going to the gym in general. Like, if you want to get better at chest press, you won't get better at it unless you do it. If you want to get better at

curls or anything like if you're just watching videos and you're motivating yourself and getting there and you're seeing the people that are way better at you way better than you at it and you don't try like just be prepared to fail. You have to get to a place where you're comfortable getting uncomfortable which means failing which means trying a rep and completely having to give up because you've given all you can and that's great. Like if you can get to a place where

Josh Felgoise (09:30.192)

You don't give a fuck what anybody else around you thinks and start taking up your own space at the gym and be like, all right, I'm to do this no matter what anybody around here thinks, no matter what I think they're thinking. If you can get to a place where you're comfortable knowing that people are going to be looking because you're looking at them as well. Like if you can get there, anything you can do, anything once you're at the gym, it's all a mindset thing. Once you're comfortable with the fact that people are going to be watching you.

you are going to fail at some point, are going to fail at the rep, you are going to get too tired or look disgustingly sweaty or get embarrassed because you can't lift anymore. if you can get to that place, like that's where the progress begins. This getting comfortable with being uncomfortable also relates to showing up and going to the gym and putting yourself in a place where, all right, fuck, I have to get up at 630 or seven in the morning or I have to

leave work when I'm already so exhausted from the day, maybe it was a bad day, maybe it was a good day and go work out. That's it. That's uncomfortable. You're putting yourself in an uncomfortable position. and kind of like making yourself do it because you know, you're gonna be better for it. So as I said, like I didn't show up one day and be like, okay, damn, like look at you, like you're, you're at a place where you're going to the gym four or five times a day and you're getting more comfortable with yourself. Like, no, I went through so many days of like,

Fuck this. Like I do not want to go this morning. I'm so tired. Am I doing this right at the gym? Like as I was saying, like everybody around me looks better. Like what, what, what are they doing that I'm not doing? Um, and just being in a place where I was so uncomfortable and that was like months. I'm saying it as if it was, if it was like a quick like week or so, like, no, I went through this for months of being like, all right, like I'm going to put myself in a place where I am new.

and fresh and green and gonna look awkward and stupid and foolish and deal with it and just like get to a place where, okay, I know that I'm gonna look stupid today. And that's cool. Like, fuck yeah, that's something that I'm proud of myself that I got through. And now I can go to the gym and take up my space and put down a mat and do a workout that I wanna do that I'm comfortable doing, regardless of what anyone thinks of me.

Josh Felgoise (11:52.916)

so get comfortable with getting uncomfortable. If you want to start making this a part of your routine, which is the next tip, that was a really cool transition. I did not mean for that to happen, but the next tip is kind of like two, a slash three, start making a routine or make a plan for yourself to get uncomfortable. So whether this is going to the gym twice a week on, on a Tuesday or a Thursday or going to the gym,

Three times a week Monday Wednesday Friday or pushing yourself and going four or five times a week whether it's every workday Whatever it is, whatever you want your schedule to be Make it and stick to it that's the only way that you will commit to yourself and and Start becoming successful in in this As I said earlier consistency is the kiss is this damn it. That was gonna be so cool if I got that right Consistency is the key to success in anything

It's true. So if you start making this a part of your day, it'll become so much easier with this getting uncomfortable. If you say, yeah, I went yesterday, maybe I'll go again tomorrow. And you kind of get like lazy with it. It's not going to become a priority. When it becomes a priority, it becomes important. I don't know if that makes sense or that I thought it sounded great. I think it sounded great. When it becomes

a priority, you know, yeah, that is so I what I said. But also give yourself grace with this. Like, if you miss a day, it's not the end of the world. Like the coolest part about days is that there's another one tomorrow. And if you stick with that and you say, OK, I missed today, but I'm going to make sure I get there tomorrow. I'm going to make that a priority for me. Like if that means skipping a plan or if that means getting up earlier or if that means

you know, like just whatever it means for you, making it a priority. If you miss a day, that's okay. Just like committed to yourself that, you know what, I skipped today or I was too tired or I felt hung over, but tomorrow I'm gonna start again. And that's great. Like don't give yourself shit for trying. If you're giving it an effort and you skipped a day or you needed a day off, like cool. Don't give yourself shit for that.

Josh Felgoise (14:14.786)

Yeah, so as I said earlier, I'm now at like four to five times a week and it's just become like ingrained in my day, whether it's it's never the most intense workout. If I have if I'm up really late one night and I only can get like a 30 minute 20 minute workout in whatever it is, like as long as I got that in, I feel like my day can start. I don't feel like I can go to work and like be the best version of myself and be in the best headspace and have the best mentality if I don't get some sort of movement in. And that's just become something that's like

Engrained in my day. I don't know how to get rid of it now and that's cool. Like that's that's sick that it's become so like inaugural so what's the word become so I Don't know whatever. It's just become so Germaine becomes so integral. It's become so integral

It's become an integral part of my day that I need in order to be the best version of myself that day. So if I don't get in the morning, I will make sure I do it at night. And that can be in the form of anything for me. it whether it's getting a core workout in or a 20 minute lift, a 20 minute like lower body workout, I do a ton of Peloton workouts, not an ad I wish it was. And that to me has been just the easiest

way to get these little workouts in because if I have 20 or 30 minutes in the morning and I don't I didn't make more time for myself it's a program so they're telling me what to do and I already don't know what I'm doing so this way I've learned a ton of different moves or I've learned how to do the move so I don't feel as uncomfortable or as like foolish if I mess up I have an instructor telling me what to do

So it's like kind of like a built-in trainer on an app, which I really like. think any of those like app services or online workouts or YouTube videos or anything that is helping you with your goals, I think is great. I think don't be afraid to prop up a phone or bring your iPad and prop that up or whatever is easiest for you and do it at the gym. Like that's part of the uncomfortable part. Like I had someone come up to me one time and be like,

Josh Felgoise (16:36.4)

What are those videos you always watch? was like, oh, have you, have you never heard of Peloton? They were like, no. I was like, oh, well that sucks for you. Like I didn't say that. was like, oh, well it's, it's like a virtual trainer that I, I use because it helps me figure out a routine or it helps me develop my skills and my abilities in, lifting and in training. So I love it. So I get to, I've gotten to a place where I'm comfortable just like propping up a phone and following along.

And that's great for me. Like that's what works for me. So find what works for you if a notebook and a piece of paper works for you or if the notes on your app of like 10 this move 20 that move whatever if that's great if that works for you find that and add that to part of your routine so The first part of finding your routine is picking a schedule and sticking with it So for me, it's 7 or 7 30 a.m. Every morning Monday to Thursday Friday

if it just depends and then maybe like Sunday, I'll usually skip Saturday and that should become part of my week. So that's the first part. And the second part is like choosing what you want to do. So I will usually rotate between arms and shoulders or so like upper body or chest and back. And then I'll go to like lower body. So I'll usually do arms and shoulders and then lower body and then chest and back. And then I'll do

like a HIIT workout and a core workout or something like that. I think that's my like usual week of my four. And that is all through like the Peloton app. I don't know really what I'm doing or how to make myself a really good workout otherwise. So I use that and that works for me. So find what you're going to do when you go and the day that you're going to go and the time. Those are the three things for how to build your routine and stick with it. I think that's great, especially when you're starting. Of course,

You can switch it up. Don't you don't have to be so like tied to each specific day. Like you don't have to do arms one day and the legs one day. Like you want to switch it up. If you're feeling exhausted in one part of your body, like switch it up. It's no big deal. as I said earlier, like have grace with yourself. and then I wanted to talk about membership fees, because when you're joining a gym, gyms can be super expensive. but I've kind of like, if you've heard of like the Tik TOK girl math, I've kind of boy mathed the gym membership.

Josh Felgoise (18:54.362)

because I'm going a lot and I've made this a really like, as I said, integral part of my day. There's the word. Um, and I've committed to going four to five times a week. So if I break down what I'm paying, if I'm going for times a week, I'm paying like five to $10 a day for the gym, which I'm spending five to $10 on so much more bullshit throughout the day, throughout the week, like one beer where I'm going or where I'm going out on the weekend is, um, the price of that. So if I'm having like four, like, I don't know, that's how I justify it in my head, but I think like,

If I'm going to spend a good amount of time somewhere and commit to myself that I'm going to go here four times a week, I want it to be a really nice facility. No matter what, wherever you're going, like I think it's important to pick a place that you feel comfortable. Like a place that you want to go. So don't pick the cheapest worst gym just because it's the cheapest and worst. If you go there and you may not have as much motivation to go there.

because you picked that place and you're like, it's always crowded or I'm always waiting on a machine or I'm always having to wait for three guys behind a machine or I'm switching in and out. and I don't want to do that. So I think this is an area where if you're young, if you're in your twenties and like, you don't have a ton of disposable income, like I think this is an area that is worthwhile and spending more money because in my head I'm more likely to go somewhere.

that is a nicer facility and I don't have to wait on all this equipment or I don't feel like I'm going to be rushed in the morning by all these people behind me. And like when I rush a workout, my form gets worse or I don't do as well. So I think this is a place where spending a little bit more leads to a lot more. So those are some of my tips for building gym confidence, what I call that.

And I wanted to just sum it up by saying that like the quicker you become comfortable with looking like you don't know what you're doing, the easier this is going to get. The quicker you stop giving a shit about what people think of you, the easier it's going to get. When I stopped giving a shit about what people thought of me, what I looked like at the gym, what I was doing, I in turn became so much more confident in myself and my abilities to lift and be at that gym and like be somebody that like, okay.

Josh Felgoise (21:15.258)

I'm here like I'm gonna take up my space and I'm gonna like do my workout no matter what you think of it the quicker you can get to that mindset and that mentality the easier this gets I'm not saying this is gonna be an easy Roadblock or like an easy like mental barrier to get over but by going and making this a part of your team and making it consistent and knowing by the way that everybody there had at least at one time a similar feeling

Nobody started the way they look if they're if they're that huge guy at the gym. They didn't start that way They started exactly where you are They had the mindset but they're like, shit someone around me like the person next to me is so much bigger so much better so much stronger like Everybody at one point had that mindset. So if you go into it thinking that and knowing that it becomes easier Get comfortable with getting uncomfortable. And if you're somebody that is nervous to start just fucking do it and

If you're in a place where you've taken a break or you want to build back a routine, I hope you use these tips to start doing that. I want to just end by saying like, none of this is that deep. Everybody had to start here and we have to start somewhere. So good luck if you're going to the gym or starting to or thinking about it or have hit a roadblock. I hope this helps you get out of it. and if you are at a place where you're super confident in your abilities at the gym,

Hit me up. I'd love to hear how you've gotten to that place, what you do. I'll, I'll hopefully in the near future do a follow up episode where I kind of break down some of those days of working out and what I do exactly. Cause I think that'd be really helpful for somebody that hasn't gone to the gym or doesn't know what to do there. Because when I started, I had no fucking idea what I was supposed to do when I looked, I like looked around.

I talked a lot about the equipment. mean the people being intimidating. The equipment itself is really intimidating. Like if you look at some of those machines, you're like, what the hell does that do? Or like, what am I supposed to do on that? I don't know. So it's not just the factor of the people. It's the gym itself is very intimidating. It's a scary place if you're just starting going. So just know that I was there. I'm still there a lot of the time. There's a lot of the equipment there. I'm like, I am not fucking touching that. I have no idea what that does or how to do that.

Josh Felgoise (23:36.098)

But if you are in that place, Google a YouTube video and search, find out like the answers are all online. Tick tock. Everybody has gym videos. But yeah, if you don't know what to do when going to the gym, Google is going to be your best friend. I was doing this like Creed. I watched the movie Creed and I was doing this Creed workout for like a month. That was awesome. It was incredibly hard and I was kind of like killing myself over it. So I stopped doing it. It was just like a thousand ab crunches and 200.

like I don't know whatever it was just like a nuts workout that wasn't for me so by experimenting and trying out new things you will find what works for you by experimenting and going to the gym and trying out new things and letting yourself look like an absolute idiot you will learn what to do and and you'll find your groove and you'll find your confidence and yeah you'll get there good luck and I will talk to you soon see you guys

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