24 Things I Learned In 2024

Josh Felgoise (00:00.204)

Welcome to Guy's Set, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. I'm Josh, I'm 24 years old, and I'm here to find all the tips, advice, and recommendations for everything you're wondering about. Let's get into it.

Josh Felgoise (00:17.88)

Hi guys, welcome back to GuySet, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. Before we get into the episode, I just want to say thank you so much for listening to GuySet this year. It's been a really incredible year so far. I have learned so much about myself and I hope you have too. And I just really want to say thank you so much for listening. It means the world that you're here right now and that you've taken the time to listen to this episode and you want to get better and learn more or just listen to.

more about what should be talked about for guys in their 20s or just for anybody in their 20s. I'm so happy you're here. I'm thrilled that I do this every week. I'm thrilled that you're here to listen to it. And yeah, I love you. I love you for listening. I really do. Thank you so much. So let's get into it.

This week, since it's the last day of the year, it's December 31st, I thought it would be the perfect time to share 24 things I have learned this year. 24 things I've learned in 2024. It's actually 34 things, but I thought 24 for 2024 sounded better, but I just kept writing it as I went. So it's actually 34. And these aren't things that I just like learned overnight or just kind of learned automatically and got right away.

These are things that I learned some the easy way and a lot the hard way These are things that I learned through lots of different experiences through different jobs different people different moments different physical emotional and mental times throughout the year and things that I've also faltered on and Forgotten, but ultimately things I picked back up

and will carry with me into the next year and hopefully into forever to infinity and beyond. But they're just things that I think I really learned and embodied this year and I want to share them here and be able to look back at them or listen back to them. And I hope these are things that you can also catch on to or something. Like my goal for this episode is that you hear something in what I say right now.

Josh Felgoise (02:23.142)

and you attach your own meaning to it or you attach your own experience to it and bring it with you into next year. And when I say you, as I will in lots of these lessons, I am totally talking to myself the entire time. And I really hope that you attach your own meaning to whatever you find most impactful for these. But the you is actually me here. But it can be you as well. just wanted to preface with that. And I'll elaborate on some of them.

and leave others the way they are. think some stand alone completely and don't need any more elaboration. So here we go. Number one, it's cool to try. I've never looked at somebody who's trying something new or putting themselves out there and just being brave and trying something completely different and said, that's weird. Why are they trying that? I've never ever done that personally. And I don't think I ever will. And I'm very happy about that.

and I just think it's cool to try. think it's cool to put yourself out there and, do something different and against the grain and something that nobody else is doing because it's hard to do that. It's hard to be the one who's standing out and, and trying something vulnerable. That's hard. so I think it's cool to try. Number two, it's okay to try new things or develop new interests.

You don't have to keep doing the things that you used to do just because you used to do them or you've spent a lot of time doing them. If they're no longer of interest to you or they're no longer serving you and you've found something that you're more interested in. Why not? Why let that stop you? Why let the idea of I used to do this or I did this so much so I have to keep doing it stop you from trying something new. It's okay to try new things and develop new interests. Number three.

You learn more from failing than succeeding this year this past year specifically I have learned so much more from the times when I have felt like a complete failure in work in my job in my personal life in this podcast in things that I'm trying in things that I don't actually get to do when I fail at them because it makes me take a step back and think why didn't I do that or why didn't I do that right or what went wrong and

Josh Felgoise (04:44.738)

Can I fix that going forward? What can I do to fix that going forward? And it makes me think introspectively and do some like deeper work internally instead of just being like, great, I did that. I'm the fucking best because that's not usually the case. And it takes a lot of hard work to get to a place you want to get to. So I always find that I learn more from failing than succeeding. Number four, if it doesn't work immediately or you don't succeed immediately or even in six months or a year,

It doesn't mean you never will. Number five, believing in yourself is the only way other people will. I spent a lot of my time this past year thinking, what if I'm not good enough and feeling a lot of imposter syndrome for the things that I was doing or the things that I was trying? And if I do that, so will everybody else. So why even give them that idea? Believing in yourself is the only way other people will. Number six,

You don't have to stop doing something because it makes somebody else uncomfortable. Now, of course, take that for what I mean it for and not for anything else. No means no. Like, don't be a fucking creep. Like, I mean that as you know what I mean. Like, I mean that not about bad things. I mean that in terms of trying something new or in terms of maybe I should rephrase that. Let me rephrase that live on air right now. You do have to stop doing something if it makes somebody else really uncomfortable. Fuck, that's not the right wording.

You, you don't have to stop doing something because it makes somebody else feel smaller. I think that's a better way to say it. And what I mean by that, I'll have to elaborate on this one because I really don't want to. Yeah. Like I, that this is, this is a downhill spiral. what I mean by that is if you're trying something new and it makes somebody uncomfortable because that is not the way you used to be or you've changed or you're different now.

And you hear somebody say you've changed and you didn't always used to be like that. Like why, why are you trying this new thing? What is that? Recently, I had an experience where I created an Instagram account called, or I created an account called guyset style, which is a, kind of like a, um, extension of this. It's just an, it's a very simple extension. Like I wanted to always talk about style and, uh, learn more about style. So I made an account to do it, Instagram, Tik TOK, like all that social media stuff. And I'll probably talk about it next year sometime sometime and bring on some.

Josh Felgoise (07:10.4)

more, I don't know, like fashion experts on here, because I'm not a fashion expert, you know that. But that's something that like I think should be talked about more for guys in their 20s for sure. And I just haven't found the best way to do it or a better avenue. So I just made a separate channel for it. And I got like kind of flooded with messages being like, why are you doing this? What is that? Why? What is this? Why? What is that? And it made me feel bad about it. I was like, I'm just trying something new. It's like an extension. It's not a it's not

to scare you. didn't think this would have an effect on anybody. Why am I getting messages or why am I hearing from other people that are asking why I'm doing this? What is that? Why does he think he's a style expert? What the fuck is that? Why is he creating a style account when he knows nothing about style? First and foremost, that was the whole point. But secondly, and most importantly, that made other people uncomfortable for one reason or another. It's a really, really small example.

but it did and I got a lot of like, felt like backlash and I sat with that. was like, why are people like upset about this? This is so stupid or why are people like, why is there backlash? Like why are people annoyed at me for this? This is like, this feels so silly. And ultimately like that made somebody else feel uncomfortable that I was trying something different or I was putting myself out there in a different way or that's how I read it. That's how I think it. That's how I interpret it.

Ultimately that made someone else feel uncomfortable and people don't like to feel uncomfortable and people don't like when you change or you try something new. And that's what I'm trying to say here is that just because that makes somebody else uncomfortable doesn't mean you have to not do it. And for a moment I was like maybe I should reconsider this and not do it because I don't people don't like it. And I was like no that's actually just one or three people like that's not everybody one or two or three people do not represent everybody. So I went back to doing it and it.

is working great and I've been loving doing it and I'm learning a lot through it. don't let other people's opinions stop you is a better way to say that. And that example is super specific to me by the way. Like this applies to anybody or anything you're trying. If you're trying a new style, that's a good example. Like if you want to change your style and you wear something that you've never worn before and people are like,

Josh Felgoise (09:34.062)

You don't wear that, what is that? Why are you trying that? That's a very universal example, I would say. Or if you're wanting to cut back on your drinking, that's another good example. If you don't feel like drinking is suiting you anymore, the first response when you tell somebody, I actually don't wanna do that tonight, they're like, why? You don't wanna drink, you don't wanna go have fun with us? That's another good example is that when you...

stop doing what is normal or what has been normal to everybody else or the people around you. It just kind of it shifts everybody's like alignment. It kind of the plate tectonics shift like everybody gets a little bit confused and feels a little bit uneven or uneasy about it. But there's a ton of examples. I'm sure you could all or everybody could put their own spin on this and think about something in their life that they're trying differently or they're doing differently.

whether it's starting something new, whether it's trying something new, that they may feel uncomfortable about how people will look at them or perceive them or think about them differently if they say they're doing this or if they say they're trying it. My example was really specific, but I think this is something that everybody can attach their own experience to. Number eight, most guys are uncomfortable with something about themselves. They just don't talk about it because they think everybody else somehow has it figured out.

That's kind of the premise of this podcast and what guys set will be in general. And what I'm trying to build with guys set is that, lot of guys are uncomfortable with a lot of different things. And I've more than ever seen that this year in texts I've gotten from friends in DMS I've gotten from other guys and emails I've gotten from people in Reddit channels in all these different places. Like I now have the greatest understanding I've had of how

uncomfortable guys are with so many different things but for some reason feel like everybody else has it figured out because nobody talks about it or because nobody shares that awkward experience or that awkward moment that something happened because it's awkward or because it's uncomfortable to share that type of thing and it's vulnerable to share that type of thing so people don't and this year more than ever I've seen that and it's given me more and more of a reason for guyset to exist. Number eight.

Josh Felgoise (11:57.334)

It's okay to not know what you're doing. I have felt so many times this year that I have no idea what I'm doing. I, as I said, feel like an imposter. don't, I don't feel like I have a path or a timeline or a trajectory. And I'm like, what is this? Where am I going? What's happening? And that happens more often. That happens a lot. I was gonna say more often than not. That's not true, but it happens a lot. and I've realized that it's okay to not know what you're doing.

It's okay to feel that way. Number 10. It's okay to take a break. It's okay to pause and set everything aside and just take a break. Like that's something that I struggle with a lot. feel like sometimes I feel like I'm running out of time and there's so many things I want to do and get to and try and experience and it's okay to not once in a while and it's okay to have a lot of nights where you sit on your couch and do nothing.

and it's okay to do nothing. That is something that I work on and have gotten a lot better at, just doing nothing and being okay, spending a lot of time on my own or spending time in silence or just chilling out and hanging out. It's okay to take a break and do nothing. Number 10, it's okay to feel lost. I guess this is the okay section.

It's okay to feel lost. It's okay to feel anxious. It's okay to not know what you want to do next. These kind of all build off of each other. So maybe they could have all been one but no, no, I'll keep them separate. Especially in our 20s like there's so many moments and so many times that we all feel lost or just directionless and anxious about what the future holds or what tomorrow holds or what you're to do next week or what you're to make for dinner or when you're going to go on that date or if you're even going to go on that date.

or if she'll respond or where you're gonna live in two months. And there's like, there's so much up in the airness to this time in our lives. And there's so much uncertainty is a much better way to say up in the airness. Uncertainty is an actual word. And it's okay to feel that way. It's okay to feel lost. And I work through that all the time. And I continue to work on that and work through that. But it's okay to feel lost.

Josh Felgoise (14:16.238)

Number 11, nobody is thinking about you as much as you are. Number 12, standing up taller will make you feel more confident. I wholeheartedly believe that putting your shoulders back, standing up taller and walking taller will make you feel taller and make you feel more confident. I'm not that tall. I'm like five, 10, five, nine and three quarters to be fully honest with you. Um, but standing up taller and putting my shoulders back like I just did twice now always makes me feel better.

So that's when I learned this year. 13, reading will make you feel smarter and you'll learn a lot. 14, being vulnerable is a superpower. 15, sharing your emotions makes them feel less heavy. Being able to verbalize your experience or verbalize your emotions and your feelings is something that is so powerful and so underrated and something that so many people can't do.

So if you can do that, or if you're at a place where you're trying to do that, or just share with other people what's going on in your life or how you're feeling, clap, like, hold on.

Josh Felgoise (15:30.153)

That's super fucking impressive and it's something that not a lot of people can do and it's something that I have honestly in the last year gotten much better at. It's not something I was good at a year ago, regardless of how much I've shared on this podcast. It's not something that I've always been super comfortable with, but I've gotten a lot more comfortable in my skin and a lot more comfortable with sharing what's going on and how I'm feeling because I just think it makes everything easier.

And it lets people, lets people in to your experience and lets people into how you're doing and what's going on so they can understand it. And I'm not saying you have to say everything to everyone. I'm not saying you have to share how you're feeling all the time because everybody's feeling some way all the time. You don't have to be the person you like. You don't have to tell everyone all the time what's going on. But being able to verbalize how you're feeling is really, really important and something I think everybody could work on a little bit more. 16.

telling somebody how you feel, regardless of how you think it will make them feel is important. Being able to share how you feel about a person and being able to share how you feel about how somebody has made you feel, whether it's good or bad is incredibly hard. And I don't think it ever gets easier, but it makes the relationship, whether it's a friend, significant other, somebody you're seeing, your family member, your boss, your coworker, anybody.

It makes everything easier. 17. Making someone else feel smaller will not make you feel any larger. Also, making yourself smaller will not make anybody else bigger. The first part of that is something that like we have instilled in us from the youngest age to like making somebody else feel badly will not make you feel any better. When you bully somebody, it won't make them feel good. That's something that I think everybody needs to be reminded of all the time. Like especially when we have our

phones at our fingertips and we can say whatever we want to anybody at any time. And like most of the time we're through screens at work or in our lives. Like we're all the times on our phones and on our computers. It's so much easier to talk badly about somebody and not think twice about it. So that first part, but I think the second part is really important too. Making your experience less or doing less because you think it will make somebody else feel bigger or make somebody else feel more comfortable.

Josh Felgoise (17:52.674)

will not make them any bigger. Both of those things are really true and really important and two things that I have learned this year the hard way. Both of those things. Not that I'm like bullying people online or bullying people in any case. Just two things that I think are really important to be reminded of continuously. I don't bully people online. That's not, I guess that kind of sounded like I do. I don't. Jesus, why did I even talk about that cyber bullying part? That's not even part of, maybe I should cut that out?

I don't know, that wasn't even... 18. Worrying about what somebody else will think about you will not stop them from thinking about you. I'll leave that one as is. 19. Taking a leap means that you will fall, and then you will hopefully start to climb back up again. 20. Working at something regardless of the outcome will make you feel good. 21. Dealing with things as they happen will almost always be better than waiting until later.

And this one I want to elaborate on a little bit. This one is about everything. Like I wrote this one with a work situation in mind where I was asked by the CEO of our company like, hey, why did you do this? And it had like a connotation of like, why did you do this? Like, what the fuck? And I saw that message in my heart dropped and I was like, shit, like, why did I do this? I don't know. And then I looked into it more and I was like, here's why I did it. But at first I was like, I don't want to deal with that right now. Like I'm going to.

It was later at night and I was like, I'm going to wait till tomorrow and just do that. And if I had waited until tomorrow, I think honestly, I would have thought about it all night and all morning and not have really let myself free from it. Like I would have been like trapped by that thought until I actually got to it. And that was one of the first times where I saw that and I was like, shit, let me actually look into it right now. Like let me get to the bottom of it, write a message back and explain the situation right then and there.

Instead of even waiting like 30 minutes or an hour and just like letting myself stew in it and be upset about it or be nervous and anxious about it. So I think dealing with something head on is always the best way to do it. Same goes for a confrontation with a friend or a girlfriend or a boyfriend or your family member or anybody dealing with things as they happen. Obviously like taking some time to process it and respond in the best possible way is important like that. I took some time to

Josh Felgoise (20:16.878)

the digging and get to the bottom of it before I didn't just like snap and say oh shit sorry like here's all the things I'm so sorry I spent some time like crafting a response so I think obviously do that but doing that all in the time that it happened instead of waiting and making yourself more anxious about it is always better 22 later means I don't prioritize that I'll do it later or I'll get to it almost always means that doesn't matter to me that much

That's something that I've come up with and taken with me through this year. When I say like, I'll do it later, which I do do a lot of things. Like there's so many things, even today, there's things that I've pushed off and be like, I'll do that later. Like I'll get to that. The two, the two phrases that I just said are two things that I use all the time. And to me, I really do believe that that means like that isn't that important to me. And if it can wait until later, like when is later? Because the amount of times I've said I'll do that later and then not gotten to it for like a month.

is countless like there's there's one i'm i'm hanging on to right now that i still haven't done like it's a it doesn't matter what it is but it's like a thing that i have to do and i'm like i'll get to that later and i keep pushing it off and off and it's like now a month has gone by like how much longer is going to go by until you actually do that like i think that means that you don't prioritize it 23 consistency over intensity and progress over perfection always those are two things that i've

It's kind of like a motto I've developed this year or read. I didn't create that. A motto that I read somewhere and have taken with me to a lot of different things that I do. Because I don't really believe in the idea of like an overnight success. don't really believe in anything by the way, like in your job, in your dating life, in your friendships, in your roommates, in your family, in your workouts, in your cooking, in...

your budgeting, like, and any aspect of your life, I don't believe in the fantasy of an overnight success, I just don't think that's possible. And I think the consistency you do something and how much you try again and again and again and again is so much more important than the intensity. So if you did it really intensely for three days, that isn't as important as doing it for three weeks. Like, it won't have as great of an impact.

Josh Felgoise (22:38.03)

Same thing with progress over perfection, like caring so much about making sure that every little thing is perfect is less important to me than working at it again and again or working at something to get there. 25, nobody is going to make you do it. You have to want to do it enough on your own. Continuously, you can't make somebody else do it either. This applies to everything, similar to the last one, eating healthier, finding a new job.

getting your work done, budgeting, changing your habits, making your bed, going to sleep earlier, dating, all of these things are completely up to you. Nobody is going to make you do it. You have to want to do it enough on your own. And you can't make somebody else do it either. 25, having a big imagination and big dreams has never let me down. 26, it doesn't get easier. You just get stronger.

I wrote this one the other morning at the gym when I was doing curls and I was like, why is this so fucking hard? I've done this for so many weeks, months at this point. Why is this still so hard? And that's kind of the point. It doesn't get easier. Like that will always be hard. I don't think that will ever be easy. And then in thinking about that, I was like, it's actually never been easy in the past weeks or months either. And I've been lifting heavier weights so it will only get harder and increasingly harder. And that's kind of the point.

to keep challenging yourself and to keep getting better and to keep trying. But throughout that, I've gotten a lot stronger. So it doesn't get easier, you just get stronger. 27. When you don't want to, remember why you started. 28. When you don't feel like yourself, go take a walk. 29. It's okay to change your mind. Now, did I already do that one? I think I already did that one. Shit, sorry. Whatever. 30. It's okay to be wrong.

But when you're wrong, admit that you are and move on. 31, you can find hope in anything. 32, what you do and how you respond are completely up to you. 33, there is no timeline. I talk about this a lot in a lot of the episodes that I do that our 20s are, and I talked about this today too, like our 20s are this really great time of uncertainty, this really big time of uncertainty.

Josh Felgoise (25:04.89)

and everybody is doing things completely differently. Some people are in their dream jobs, some people don't even have a job. Some people are living with roommates, some people are living with their girlfriends and their boyfriends. Some people are engaged, like some people are getting married, some people are going on a first date for the first time, some people are still thinking if they should download Hinge, some people are trying to start their own company, some people are...

in between jobs or thinking about leaving a job or wanting to leave their job like there's so many different phases of our 20s and I think it's so important and a lesson that I continually need to remind myself continuously to remind myself that there is no timeline there is no idea of what is supposed to be for this time in our lives you're not supposed to be

here at this time. You don't have to be there at that time. Like there's no right way to do this and there's no wrong way to do this. There is no timeline. And 34, it's never too late. I wanted to end with this one because I really believe it and it's something I also continuously learned that it's never too late to start and it's never too late to try and it's never too late to try again.

three things that I take with me and have taken with me this entire year and will bring with me into next year. There's moments where I think like, why didn't I do this before? Or why didn't I try this before? Or if I had just done this before, I'd be so much further. Or if I did this last week, then I would have already made this amount of progress and I get annoyed at myself for not having started or not having tried. And

I love the idea that it's never too late to start and it's never too late to try and just the idea that it's never too late in general. If you're listening to this, you're probably in your 20s, maybe a little bit older, maybe a little bit younger. And this is the time in our lives to really remember that. Like you could be in your first job, your second job, your third job, your fourth job. If that career isn't suiting you, it's never too late to switch it. You could be wanting to do something completely differently. It's never too late.

Josh Felgoise (27:25.868)

You could be in a relationship that you don't like anymore, but you've been in it for a while. So you're like, this is how it is. It's never too late. You could feel like you're always going to be single because it's not been working out. It's never too late. You could think I'm not a reader because I haven't read in 15 years. It's never too late. You could think I am not this person because I haven't done it before. It's never too late. You could think I'm

Always going to be this way because that's how it is right now. It's never too late. Thank you so much listening to guys at this year. I I'm at a loss for words. I've never I'm never lost for words. No, I just lost my train of thought honestly. I really wanted to do this episode. I don't I probably got lost in the numbers somewhere. So if at one point I said nine twice or I went backwards in a number I am so sorry for doing that.

I got lost in my notes as I was talking about it, but I love reflecting on the year and what I've learned and that's what these past two weeks have been about. I'm also massive on, I'm massive in general, massive on goal setting and figuring out what you want to do next year and like setting systems or ways you can actually make those happen. Using this time to think about one or two things you learned this year and then bringing them into next year is also a way to goal set. And it's also a way to...

set resolutions for yourself. wanna continue to keep this lesson in the back of my mind. I wanna continue keeping this with me. One of these things, one of these mottos, create your own. Like whatever you wanna do, having something in the back of your head to remind yourself of who you are and why you're doing it and why you're trying is always a good thing. So I hope one or two of these things resonated with you maybe more. That would be a win for me from this episode if something, something.

You heard today you attached your own meaning to that would be amazing And thank you again so much for listening. I hope you have a great new years. I hope your night is fun And if it's not it's Tuesday, so don't worry about it. Tomorrow's Wednesday. Like we're in the middle of the week You have work on Thursday. So don't don't get to It's really not a big deal. If you don't kiss somebody on a Tuesday, you can kiss them on someone on a Saturday That's even better

Josh Felgoise (29:48.738)

So don't worry too much if you don't have fun plans tonight. Really, it's not that big of a deal. I know that's easier said than done. And I know FOMO exists and all of that shit. So I don't mean to diminish your experience if you're upset about it, but use this time to set some goals for next year. Think about your year in review. Reflect on what's been. Reflect on the lessons you've learned. And get ready for next year, because it's going to be an even better one. I also heard this thing. That if you eat...

12 grapes, this may sound stupid, but I thought might as well share it. If you eat 12 grapes at midnight, it's apparently this thing that people do and it is a good luck thing. So if you have nothing else to do tonight, get yourself some grapes and eat 12 of them at midnight, 12 for each month of the year and it's supposed to be good luck. Another way to do that is to write down 12 things you want for next year, 12 goals you have, 12 things you wanna do.

and do that at midnight. It's supposed to be a good luck thing. It's like very superstitious. But why not? It's fun. It sounds fun and stupid and silly. So I think it's a fun extra thing to do. Seriously, thank you so much again for listening this year. I really appreciate all of you. And I have so much in store for next year. So thank you so much for listening. said a guy's got to what should be talked about. I'm Josh. I'm 24 years old and I'm here every single Tuesday to talk about what should be talked about for guys in their 20s.

If you have something you want to talk about that should be talked about for guys and their 20 cents to my DMS to my email. It's josh at guyset.com j o s h at GUYSET.com or to my DMS at the guyset T H E G U Y S E T on all social media platforms. Thank you so much for listening again and I will see you guys next year. Next Tuesday. See you guys.